Just told my Brother we are emigrating.
Mar 31st 2005, 4:40 am
#16
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Location: Tapping (Perth)
Posts: 2,619
Re: Just told my Brother we are emigrating.
Hi Judith,
sorry your relatives reacted so badly.
Went into the chatroom but you'd gone. And can't even send you karma (won't let me).
Please don't be too upset about your brother.
Gina
sorry your relatives reacted so badly.
Went into the chatroom but you'd gone. And can't even send you karma (won't let me).
Please don't be too upset about your brother.
Gina
Mar 31st 2005, 5:07 am
#17
A former regular of BE
Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Carramar, Perth
Posts: 6,241
Re: Just told my Brother we are emigrating.
Originally Posted by sonictigger
To get back to the point....the reaction was, "I guess this is just another whim of yours, you will sell up, go out with no job, miss everyone and have to come back and start again. Also, don't expect us to fly out all the time to visit you - it is a long way you know”. "You have a family to think about now, it's not just the two of you".
Mar 31st 2005, 5:28 am
#18
......in the sand !
Joined: Nov 2004
Location: Perth, WA :)
Posts: 4,421
Re: Just told my Brother we are emigrating.
Originally Posted by kyliecuteass
my mum is having my kids on saturday and she said....i had better enjoy having the kids since i may never have them again...........
knife thru my heart or what!!
knife thru my heart or what!!
My mum who has looked after the kids for 2 days a week for the last 4 yrs has stopped doing it as she feels she has to detach now to make it less painful !! Painful for who I wonder ? I know shes devestated but she ought to be able to let us go as well 
Gillian
Mar 31st 2005, 6:24 am
#19
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Location: Was Kent, UK...now Pacific Pines Gold Coast and loving it
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Re: Just told my Brother we are emigrating.
Originally Posted by worzel
Besides, the worst reaction possible would be indifference now wouldn't it?
[QUOTE]Tell me about it..... My mum who has looked after the kids for 2 days a week for the last 4 yrs has stopped doing it as she feels she has to detach now to make it less painful !! Painful for who I wonder ? I know shes devestated but she ought to be able to let us go as well
Gillian[QUOTE]
That's out of order, you'd think she would want to spend as much time with them as possible....it really makes you wonder sometimes. Put's mine into perspective.
Judith
Mar 31st 2005, 6:28 am
#20
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Location: Was Kent, UK...now Pacific Pines Gold Coast and loving it
Posts: 800
Re: Just told my Brother we are emigrating.
Originally Posted by GinaUK
Hi Judith,
sorry your relatives reacted so badly.
Went into the chatroom but you'd gone. And can't even send you karma (won't let me).
Please don't be too upset about your brother.
Gina
sorry your relatives reacted so badly.
Went into the chatroom but you'd gone. And can't even send you karma (won't let me).
Please don't be too upset about your brother.
Gina
Mar 31st 2005, 6:52 am
#21
Forum Regular
Joined: Feb 2005
Location: newcastle uk
Posts: 288
Re: Just told my Brother we are emigrating.
got to say that i'm pleased that other people have found that as soon as they research (it's a life changing thing) a subject that they are or become obsessed with that subject! hmmm would you hand over your money to just any1?? no not many people would they'd like to know things! if you get what i mean !!!
reactions well i mentioned it to my eldest sis and got dont go with your partner mick (I'v been in this relationship for 6 years some marrages don't even last that long! come to think of it you get nearly that for murder!
)on his visa you need to get things under your belt and then you go! well if he goes i'm sorry but i ain't staying here for 2yrs with our son ! i think i'll take my chances and go with him !
with her breath she said we are going to go to Canada in about 8 years ! (alot can change in 8 years!)
My other sis said oh great but has now taken to "try to beat us there!" going off her friends experience saying that i have got nothing to say that we are a couple! (her friends got devorced then got remarried then applied) her f friend is an aus citizen! now if that isn't worth a second look by the DIMIA what is!
my little br doesn't believe me and my mam and his parents both said go for it there's nothing her for you! well there is in the sence of family but as a family unit we are our future not our parents!
if anything it has made us more determind to get there! we ar still researching and gathering info but 1 day !
reactions well i mentioned it to my eldest sis and got dont go with your partner mick (I'v been in this relationship for 6 years some marrages don't even last that long! come to think of it you get nearly that for murder!
)on his visa you need to get things under your belt and then you go! well if he goes i'm sorry but i ain't staying here for 2yrs with our son ! i think i'll take my chances and go with him ! with her breath she said we are going to go to Canada in about 8 years ! (alot can change in 8 years!)
My other sis said oh great but has now taken to "try to beat us there!" going off her friends experience saying that i have got nothing to say that we are a couple! (her friends got devorced then got remarried then applied) her f friend is an aus citizen! now if that isn't worth a second look by the DIMIA what is!
my little br doesn't believe me and my mam and his parents both said go for it there's nothing her for you! well there is in the sence of family but as a family unit we are our future not our parents!
if anything it has made us more determind to get there! we ar still researching and gathering info but 1 day !
Mar 31st 2005, 8:05 am
#22
Account Closed
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 451
Re: Just told my Brother we are emigrating.
Originally Posted by sonictigger
Thanks guys so much, I know it's a shock, but hopefully he has always stood by me and backed me up when I've needed it. I'm sure things will be ok - just I was so happy & excited about going, he bought a dampener into it.
I agree that I would rather regret something we did, than have regrets for not doing something when we are old and grey.
I agree that I would rather regret something we did, than have regrets for not doing something when we are old and grey.
I have to agree with your last comment, as much as it upsets and worries me about how I am making my parents feel, I still want to go, as I don't think I would be able to forgive myself in the future if I stayed and never knew "what might have been".
I've yet to tell my brother, but that's a whole different chapter, my parents are my one and ony concern in the UK.
Louise
Mar 31st 2005, 8:25 am
#23
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Joined: Oct 2003
Location: AU
Posts: 585
Re: Just told my Brother we are emigrating.
Originally Posted by sonictigger
I've just told my Brother & his wife that we are looking to move to Australia. I wasn't too sure what his response would be, but wasn't quite prepared for what I got.
To give you a little history, I am the little sister, the baby of the family, etc. Our parents died within 15 months of each other 3 years ago which just left the two of us, but we have always been very close. I grew up being told to be more like Dave….the sensible one. He has been married for years, has 2 boys, 18 & 12 and has always been very sensible and done the expected thing. I’ve had a few more "issues" during my life, and to be honest been slightly more rebellious. I’ve been divorced which caused them many problems, apparently, no one in our family had ever been divorced, and I’m sure they thought I had done it to cause them embarrassment with friends! No one seemed bothered what my feelings were. I always think about number one, mucked around at school and frittered away money on far away holidays instead of saving for a rainy day. We do both have good careers, and have worked hard to get nice houses etc, but I will always be the one than caused the problems when we were younger, ie. 20years ago!!!!
To get back to the point....the reaction was, "I guess this is just another whim of yours, you will sell up, go out with no job, miss everyone and have to come back and start again. Also, don't expect us to fly out all the time to visit you - it is a long way you know”. "You have a family to think about now, it's not just the two of you".
I know it was a shock, but I guess this is what they still think about me, and assume I'm still a care-free 18 year old, not a mother of a small baby in her 30’s. I thought they would be ok, as they have always known we wanted to leave the UK, they just assumed it would be the US we went to as I worked there for a while and loved it.
Although they live 100 miles away from us, we are seeing them again on Saturday, so it will be interesting to see what the comments and thoughts are after they have had time to digest the news. I’m really hoping that they will be happy for us, and see it as a free holiday home rather than the sister that moved away.
I know reading other peoples comments that people do react very differently to what you expect, but I really hope things get easier, as we have my husband’s family to do this weekend….anymore responses like this one and I think I will be mentally drained.
One funny point to end on….my sister in law asked what the next stage was, so I said Police checks and Medicals. “Oh, so you could fail the medical as you had a c-section last year, they won’t want people with a history of operations and medical problems” - taken aback I said that as long as we didn’t have TB or Aids we should be ok….. “They’re not very stringent medicals then”….I didn’t know how to respond to that one!!!
To give you a little history, I am the little sister, the baby of the family, etc. Our parents died within 15 months of each other 3 years ago which just left the two of us, but we have always been very close. I grew up being told to be more like Dave….the sensible one. He has been married for years, has 2 boys, 18 & 12 and has always been very sensible and done the expected thing. I’ve had a few more "issues" during my life, and to be honest been slightly more rebellious. I’ve been divorced which caused them many problems, apparently, no one in our family had ever been divorced, and I’m sure they thought I had done it to cause them embarrassment with friends! No one seemed bothered what my feelings were. I always think about number one, mucked around at school and frittered away money on far away holidays instead of saving for a rainy day. We do both have good careers, and have worked hard to get nice houses etc, but I will always be the one than caused the problems when we were younger, ie. 20years ago!!!!
To get back to the point....the reaction was, "I guess this is just another whim of yours, you will sell up, go out with no job, miss everyone and have to come back and start again. Also, don't expect us to fly out all the time to visit you - it is a long way you know”. "You have a family to think about now, it's not just the two of you".
I know it was a shock, but I guess this is what they still think about me, and assume I'm still a care-free 18 year old, not a mother of a small baby in her 30’s. I thought they would be ok, as they have always known we wanted to leave the UK, they just assumed it would be the US we went to as I worked there for a while and loved it.
Although they live 100 miles away from us, we are seeing them again on Saturday, so it will be interesting to see what the comments and thoughts are after they have had time to digest the news. I’m really hoping that they will be happy for us, and see it as a free holiday home rather than the sister that moved away.
I know reading other peoples comments that people do react very differently to what you expect, but I really hope things get easier, as we have my husband’s family to do this weekend….anymore responses like this one and I think I will be mentally drained.
One funny point to end on….my sister in law asked what the next stage was, so I said Police checks and Medicals. “Oh, so you could fail the medical as you had a c-section last year, they won’t want people with a history of operations and medical problems” - taken aback I said that as long as we didn’t have TB or Aids we should be ok….. “They’re not very stringent medicals then”….I didn’t know how to respond to that one!!!
and yes you are thinking of your family you can only be doing this for a better life for you and your children.
Aug 5th 2004, 4:16 pm #1
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Aug 5th 2004, 4:29 pm
Mar 31st 2005, 8:33 am
#24
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 3,010
Re: Just told my Brother we are emigrating.
Originally Posted by sonictigger
I've just told my Brother & his wife that we are looking to move to Australia. I wasn't too sure what his response would be, but wasn't quite prepared for what I got.
To give you a little history, I am the little sister, the baby of the family, etc. Our parents died within 15 months of each other 3 years ago which just left the two of us, but we have always been very close. I grew up being told to be more like Dave….the sensible one. He has been married for years, has 2 boys, 18 & 12 and has always been very sensible and done the expected thing. I’ve had a few more "issues" during my life, and to be honest been slightly more rebellious. I’ve been divorced which caused them many problems, apparently, no one in our family had ever been divorced, and I’m sure they thought I had done it to cause them embarrassment with friends! No one seemed bothered what my feelings were. I always think about number one, mucked around at school and frittered away money on far away holidays instead of saving for a rainy day. We do both have good careers, and have worked hard to get nice houses etc, but I will always be the one than caused the problems when we were younger, ie. 20years ago!!!!
To get back to the point....the reaction was, "I guess this is just another whim of yours, you will sell up, go out with no job, miss everyone and have to come back and start again. Also, don't expect us to fly out all the time to visit you - it is a long way you know”. "You have a family to think about now, it's not just the two of you".
I know it was a shock, but I guess this is what they still think about me, and assume I'm still a care-free 18 year old, not a mother of a small baby in her 30’s. I thought they would be ok, as they have always known we wanted to leave the UK, they just assumed it would be the US we went to as I worked there for a while and loved it.
Although they live 100 miles away from us, we are seeing them again on Saturday, so it will be interesting to see what the comments and thoughts are after they have had time to digest the news. I’m really hoping that they will be happy for us, and see it as a free holiday home rather than the sister that moved away.
I know reading other peoples comments that people do react very differently to what you expect, but I really hope things get easier, as we have my husband’s family to do this weekend….anymore responses like this one and I think I will be mentally drained.
One funny point to end on….my sister in law asked what the next stage was, so I said Police checks and Medicals. “Oh, so you could fail the medical as you had a c-section last year, they won’t want people with a history of operations and medical problems” - taken aback I said that as long as we didn’t have TB or Aids we should be ok….. “They’re not very stringent medicals then”….I didn’t know how to respond to that one!!!
To give you a little history, I am the little sister, the baby of the family, etc. Our parents died within 15 months of each other 3 years ago which just left the two of us, but we have always been very close. I grew up being told to be more like Dave….the sensible one. He has been married for years, has 2 boys, 18 & 12 and has always been very sensible and done the expected thing. I’ve had a few more "issues" during my life, and to be honest been slightly more rebellious. I’ve been divorced which caused them many problems, apparently, no one in our family had ever been divorced, and I’m sure they thought I had done it to cause them embarrassment with friends! No one seemed bothered what my feelings were. I always think about number one, mucked around at school and frittered away money on far away holidays instead of saving for a rainy day. We do both have good careers, and have worked hard to get nice houses etc, but I will always be the one than caused the problems when we were younger, ie. 20years ago!!!!
To get back to the point....the reaction was, "I guess this is just another whim of yours, you will sell up, go out with no job, miss everyone and have to come back and start again. Also, don't expect us to fly out all the time to visit you - it is a long way you know”. "You have a family to think about now, it's not just the two of you".
I know it was a shock, but I guess this is what they still think about me, and assume I'm still a care-free 18 year old, not a mother of a small baby in her 30’s. I thought they would be ok, as they have always known we wanted to leave the UK, they just assumed it would be the US we went to as I worked there for a while and loved it.
Although they live 100 miles away from us, we are seeing them again on Saturday, so it will be interesting to see what the comments and thoughts are after they have had time to digest the news. I’m really hoping that they will be happy for us, and see it as a free holiday home rather than the sister that moved away.
I know reading other peoples comments that people do react very differently to what you expect, but I really hope things get easier, as we have my husband’s family to do this weekend….anymore responses like this one and I think I will be mentally drained.
One funny point to end on….my sister in law asked what the next stage was, so I said Police checks and Medicals. “Oh, so you could fail the medical as you had a c-section last year, they won’t want people with a history of operations and medical problems” - taken aback I said that as long as we didn’t have TB or Aids we should be ok….. “They’re not very stringent medicals then”….I didn’t know how to respond to that one!!!
Mar 31st 2005, 8:50 am
#25
Hilton`s
Joined: Aug 2004
Location: Gold Coast
Posts: 332
Re: Just told my Brother we are emigrating.
Originally Posted by DIMO8
My Sister and brother in law...told us we were selfish and that we have family here so we were wrong to think of moving. We never talk about it any more, and i am sure when the time comes to actually go they will probably stop speaking to us. It's a good job i dont give a toss what they think
When we told my mum and dad, they said that they thought that we were
thinking about migrating especially as we had booked to go and see relatives
who had recently migrated. They both looked really upset but said they
didn`t blame us. My brother as sister-in-law were fine about it and could
forsee a free holiday home. My other brother who lives at home hasn`t
mentioned it once but that is probably because my mum and dad don`t
mention it. They know that we have been asked to get our medicals and police checks done (through my brother) but it is still a subject that nobody
mentions, I don`t know what is worse, criticism or silence? Believe it or
not we are a really close family!
Tracey
Mar 31st 2005, 8:59 am
#26
......in the sand !
Joined: Nov 2004
Location: Perth, WA :)
Posts: 4,421
Re: Just told my Brother we are emigrating.
Originally Posted by Hilton`s
but it is still a subject that nobody
mentions, I don`t know what is worse, criticism or silence? Believe it or
not we are a really close family!
Tracey
mentions, I don`t know what is worse, criticism or silence? Believe it or
not we are a really close family!
Tracey
Gillian
