Simone

Hi everyone!

I'm busy with a job application for the position of MARKETING AND STUDENT SUPPORT ASSISTANT at the International Centre of the UWA(uni of WA)

I'm VERY enthusiastic about this position: I really think I can do it, I think I would enjoy it, and I think I meet all the essential criteria, and also a large part of the desirable ones.

I would REALLY REALLY appreciate it if some of you can give me feedback on this.
On all parts:
- whole sentences and phrases
- spelling
- grammar

Also, I have a few questions:
1. Should I use my maiden name(which is what all my passports etc say) or my married name, or a combination/both(with a "-" in between)
2. In the application, I mainly name my mobile number everywhere. Should I include a home number? Problem is, in 2 weeks we're moving to my parents, and switching to my parents in law. And I can't include a work number, cos the receptionist really can't speak English. So, my only option is my mobile I think.
3. What would you call it? Workplacement, training period, or student internship?? (20 weeks, fulltime working for a company for school)
Internship is American the dictionary says.
I would say work experience, but the dictionary doesn't mention it, and it does sound very 'high schoolish'.
4. Is there anything you think I should definetly leave out, or definetly include?
5. Shall I mention somewhere that my husband is a graphic designer, and therefore I also have a bit more experience in that area? Or is saying I dealt with that stuff in my workplacement nearly 2 years ago enough?

Anyway, I want to hear ALL comments. I'm very good at recieving (negative) feedback. (I'm dead serious)

OK, so first, here is the job description (and at the end the selection criteria)

Thanks in advance

EDIT: Didn't get it, see last post

Simone

By the way, I'm emailing it today(14th) and then also putting it on the post.
But the post one won't get there in time, unfortunetly.

Also, when I email, should I directly refer to the attachement, or should I also have the covering letter in the email itself?

And how big is the chance that the whole layout goed beserk on another computer? (it was a nightmare getting all 3 documents into one just now...)

Here's the application!!!!

Simone

For those that don't have much time , can you just look at the questions I posted above?


Oh, and in the letter, I'm a bit worried about the "greatly appeals to me" (does it sound stupid? Any better suggestions?

And the "on the one hand" (I'm not sure if this phrase is actually used in English, or that I just translated it from Dutch!)

Trevglas

Simone,

one suggestion, in your selection criteria, try to put specific examples of how you meet the criteria. I have sent you a pm by the way.

Otherwise, it looks pretty good.

Simone

Thank you very very much! Greatly appreciated, sent a pm back.

renth

Simone,

It looks like you have all the relevant experience and meet the criteria. My only concern is that your individual responses to the criteria lack detail.

They like to see (particulary with the "demonstrated" criteria) specific examples using the S.A.O. method. That is Situation, Activity and Outcome.

For example - "Demonstrated cross-cultural awareness skills" you could have told them of a situation where you used your cross cultural skills to solve a problem or help someone.

Anyway, don't let these comments put you off. I've sat on recruitment panels at the Uni. and we still interviewed people whose selection criteria responses weren't as detailed as they should have been.

What about your availability? I know you're not due to be here untill July, have you found out what the story is with potential interview dates.

Anyway, good luck. There are always jobs cropping up at the Uni. and if this one doesn't come good you'll get plenty more chances.

BTW, if you get it there's every chance that I'll be training you in one of the aspects of the job!

Renth

Hans de Visser

"Simone Marriedname nee Maidenname" is the usual format I think. I'd probably use the mobile number, but add something like "contact preferably via email". If you have another emailaccount than hotmail, use that. Hotmail is often filtered out by university spam filters. According to my aussie colleague "work placement" is understandable, but "work experience" is the commonly used term for 'internships' during your university years. Had a quick glance over your letter but didn't see anything weird language-wise, but hey, I'm a Dutchie as well...

Good luck

Simone

Thanks, I'll add something in.

I'm not sure what to do about this. I'm pretty sure the interviews would be before July???
That's why I added in the bottom that I'm willing to fly in. They probably won't ask me, but it shows how eager I am. And if there really a big chance I'd get it, I would actually fly, though timewise(graduating) it would be difficult....
Thanks heaps!!
So, you'll be teaching me to update the website? Just a guess! Or general computer stuff.
What programs are used btw? (the ones I've mentioned?)


Forum was down for me just then! So annoying!!! Now it's also already 15.30 in Perth, and I wanted to get it in by 5!
Arghhhh!!!

Simone

Thank you very very much!!
The nee looks a bit wierd, cos of the longish names and the 'van' of my maidenname oh well...

Changes it to 'work experience position'.

I only really have hotmail
Our other email will be cancelled in 2 weeks.....
I'll ring to check they got the email on monday....

thanks!

renth

We use MySource - http://mysource.squiz.net

OK the UWA site is crap, but the software rocks!

bundy

This looks good Simone - and spookily like the one I've just put together for the Monash job I can't apply for!

Just one small thing....in you covering letter you mention that you have heard about UWA through people you met on the internet. I'd alter that a bit and put something like 'in conversation with aquaintances' or words to that effect. From my experience of sitting on shortlisting panels and interviewing candidates (for universoty positions), meeting people on the internet would set alarm bells ringing because of a) possible *geek* factor and b) the fact that you might be intending to spend all day on the internet at work!!! (which we know you will, but don't put it in your application!)

Renth's advice is very sound too - the more practical examples you can give the better.

bundy

If they really want you, they may consider a prelimary telephone interview. Although from my experience, our standard procedure is that if a candidate can't make the interview, they won't get the job. One thing that has happened here is that if there are a bunch of dud candidates and one good one who can't make the interview, we have occasionally re-advertised the post and called the good candidate to interview at that stage.

Simone

Thanks!
Yeah, trevglas opted to cut that whole sentence.
I agree it sounds very stupid, could't think of anything better.
The reason I put that whole sentence in btw, was cos UWA was voted Employer of the year, twice (02/03).
I'll change it to something like 'in conversation with aqaintances', sounds good.

Renth, I've seen much much worse websites!!
But yeah, it could be better!
I'll check out the software on the weekend.

Larissa

Hiya Simone
Had a good read and will try to have another read after brekkie.
I would go with what Renth says - literally tick off each of the conditions and check that you have referre to them. Often interview panels have a checklist. I would try to sell yourself more - I will have a read again and try to come up with some more ideas. Don't worry about being over the top... I liked the bit about being willing to fly out early too.
Larissa
About to have another look

Larissa

Great advice about the internet part.