Info needed on home schooling in NZ
Sep 13th 2003, 10:49 am
#16
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Thread Starter
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: From Wales, now in Switzerland
Posts: 81
Your story is not boring
Originally posted by Jolyn
Thanks for your story Dee. And congratulations on getting a diagnosis that you feel makes sense - you know your son best that's for sure. You know you're doing the right thing and you can see the results in your happy son - that's great. Home schooling seems to really suit kids with any autistic type problems.
Our story - sorry to bore the pants off you
Our son's assessment suggested something in the autism spectrum but many of the behaviours picked up on turned out to be just passing fads of his. Eye contact was always fine. Very late talking tends to run in families and I understand pretty much rules out Aspergers. He doesn't have any individual symptom severely enough to be definitive. We think now that he's certainly different and might have a bit of some syndrome but no more so than his parents so we've chosen not to pursue a diagnosis any further.
My parents ran a cafe in Newmarket in Auckland when I was pre-school age so I never saw other children at all and was always at the cafe or the food markets or whatever in the midst of all the people and bustle. I could read a bit, add and subtract bills and take basic orders on a notepad ('R' for roast of the day, 'F' for fish and chips etc - adult customers love to have a little one take their order and made such a fuss of me!) by the time I started school. When I did go to nursery and school I hated it until I got to about 8. My mum says I came home in tears the first day because all the kids were playing with alphabet blocks and I was mortally offended as school had been sold to me as something fun that big girls went to. It seemed so boring and the little kids didn't interest me - they weren't doing anything anywhere near as exciting as the action when I was with my mum.
My husband hated school all the way through - he was late talking, quiet, shy, dyslexic and a bit dyspraxic, not a high achiever. And very bored. Not the least bit quiet or shy now - talks plenty too - and has two uni degrees
Our son seems so happy at home racing about with us and so miserable at playgroups that we've gradually come to the realisation that he's quite like us (doh!) and school's not going to work. Just starting to figure out where to go from here...
- figure the move to Oz is a good start.
Thanks for your story Dee. And congratulations on getting a diagnosis that you feel makes sense - you know your son best that's for sure. You know you're doing the right thing and you can see the results in your happy son - that's great. Home schooling seems to really suit kids with any autistic type problems.
Our story - sorry to bore the pants off you
Our son's assessment suggested something in the autism spectrum but many of the behaviours picked up on turned out to be just passing fads of his. Eye contact was always fine. Very late talking tends to run in families and I understand pretty much rules out Aspergers. He doesn't have any individual symptom severely enough to be definitive. We think now that he's certainly different and might have a bit of some syndrome but no more so than his parents so we've chosen not to pursue a diagnosis any further.
My parents ran a cafe in Newmarket in Auckland when I was pre-school age so I never saw other children at all and was always at the cafe or the food markets or whatever in the midst of all the people and bustle. I could read a bit, add and subtract bills and take basic orders on a notepad ('R' for roast of the day, 'F' for fish and chips etc - adult customers love to have a little one take their order and made such a fuss of me!) by the time I started school. When I did go to nursery and school I hated it until I got to about 8. My mum says I came home in tears the first day because all the kids were playing with alphabet blocks and I was mortally offended as school had been sold to me as something fun that big girls went to. It seemed so boring and the little kids didn't interest me - they weren't doing anything anywhere near as exciting as the action when I was with my mum.
My husband hated school all the way through - he was late talking, quiet, shy, dyslexic and a bit dyspraxic, not a high achiever. And very bored. Not the least bit quiet or shy now - talks plenty too - and has two uni degrees
Our son seems so happy at home racing about with us and so miserable at playgroups that we've gradually come to the realisation that he's quite like us (doh!) and school's not going to work. Just starting to figure out where to go from here...
- figure the move to Oz is a good start.
Hi Jolyn
To any person who is careing and is in or has been in your situation they will agree your posting is not boring. To be honnest it was a relief to get my son's diagnoises. From that day on everything changed especially for him, people began to understand him, instead of the cruel comments eg: give him a good slap, drag him to school or the kids in the street or school calling him a freak etc. even family members had something negative to say which helps no one. But the day he was diagnoised it was like a kick in the teeth for them and a victory for us. Of course no one wants to have any kind of illness or condition but they exist. My son was first diagnoised at 7 with dyspraxia, he had the usual poor coordination etc, but as time went on it was obvious there was more to it than that. A child with aspergers has to be treated differently and once you except it and make those changes life becomes more normal (what ever normal is). It is said they everyone has a level of apergers in them, but most deal with it without even realising it. There are some very famous people who have also lived with Asperger's just never knew it. Only research over time has proven this. With the right help most go on to lead normal lives, get married have families and hold down good jobs.
Dee
Sep 13th 2003, 6:35 pm
#17
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Joined: May 2003
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 334
Hamiltonnz and Dee - thanks for the replies.
I've heard of many people home schooling in an informal ad hoc way which I would love to do. But I'm a bit worried that with a business to run and whatever the days might slip by with our son just tagging along. While I think he'd learn a lot that way (I sure did) I suspect there will be areas which are not perhaps his natural interests or aptitudes where we would need to stimulate his curiosity by actively 'working' with him when he's a bit older.
So we're trying to get a feel for the kind of time involved if home schooling is done more 'formally' perhaps. Also we want to start a business in Oz so we need to get our heads around what all our time and financial commitments are going to be.
Hamiltonnz - your wife sounds like she's done a fabulous job. I'm amazed that it was only the 5th child that was too much for the home schooling!:scared: More than two would have done me in!
Dee -
I know what you mean about getting a diagnosis. My sister-in-law's son has been diagnosed with Aspergers and they seem relieved to have an explanation. Only problem is her husband who is bit scary and perfectionist. He seems to treat their son differently now and not in a good way. He spends plenty of time with him but kind of talks down to him now and says things about 'accepting his capabilities as they are' in a way that sounds like he's writing him off. His parenting seems less 'natural' than it was - more sterile in a cheery way and less affectionate. Like those jolly therapists who are always chivvying elderly people along to do things but don't actually regard them as individuals.
We almost had a diagnosis but it didn't actually match the 'symptoms' so we're out there on our own with it. Always had an instinctive feeling that there's nothing wrong with him though. Found a great book - 'Late Talking Children' by Thomas Sowell and its sequel which describes kids very like ours about which a research study is going on in the US now. They have other common behaviours which are a bit autistic, a bit aspergers, a bit ADHD but not quite any of them. Late toilet training is a key one too. None of the parents felt there was anything wrong with the children but were concerned that milestones were being missed. Mostly turn out OK but without ever getting a diagnosis which is a relief.
Funnily - the surveyor who came round to value our house yesterday saw our 3 year old was still in nappies and immediately said 'Is he talking?'. Turns out his 3 year old son is the same as ours. No diagnosis there either although everything was considered. They are seeing slow progress same as us but also have the feeling that there's nothing wrong. We had a great chat and exchanged details of research we knew about. Should get a good survey that's for sure!
It does seem to be that when behaviours are significant enough for a diagnosis the parents usually know that something is wrong and make a real effort like you to pursue a diagnosis.
I've heard of many people home schooling in an informal ad hoc way which I would love to do. But I'm a bit worried that with a business to run and whatever the days might slip by with our son just tagging along. While I think he'd learn a lot that way (I sure did) I suspect there will be areas which are not perhaps his natural interests or aptitudes where we would need to stimulate his curiosity by actively 'working' with him when he's a bit older.
So we're trying to get a feel for the kind of time involved if home schooling is done more 'formally' perhaps. Also we want to start a business in Oz so we need to get our heads around what all our time and financial commitments are going to be.
Hamiltonnz - your wife sounds like she's done a fabulous job. I'm amazed that it was only the 5th child that was too much for the home schooling!:scared: More than two would have done me in!
Dee -
I know what you mean about getting a diagnosis. My sister-in-law's son has been diagnosed with Aspergers and they seem relieved to have an explanation. Only problem is her husband who is bit scary and perfectionist. He seems to treat their son differently now and not in a good way. He spends plenty of time with him but kind of talks down to him now and says things about 'accepting his capabilities as they are' in a way that sounds like he's writing him off. His parenting seems less 'natural' than it was - more sterile in a cheery way and less affectionate. Like those jolly therapists who are always chivvying elderly people along to do things but don't actually regard them as individuals.
We almost had a diagnosis but it didn't actually match the 'symptoms' so we're out there on our own with it. Always had an instinctive feeling that there's nothing wrong with him though. Found a great book - 'Late Talking Children' by Thomas Sowell and its sequel which describes kids very like ours about which a research study is going on in the US now. They have other common behaviours which are a bit autistic, a bit aspergers, a bit ADHD but not quite any of them. Late toilet training is a key one too. None of the parents felt there was anything wrong with the children but were concerned that milestones were being missed. Mostly turn out OK but without ever getting a diagnosis which is a relief.
Funnily - the surveyor who came round to value our house yesterday saw our 3 year old was still in nappies and immediately said 'Is he talking?'. Turns out his 3 year old son is the same as ours. No diagnosis there either although everything was considered. They are seeing slow progress same as us but also have the feeling that there's nothing wrong. We had a great chat and exchanged details of research we knew about. Should get a good survey that's for sure!
It does seem to be that when behaviours are significant enough for a diagnosis the parents usually know that something is wrong and make a real effort like you to pursue a diagnosis.
