We have been in Oz for around 4months now and i really feel like i want to go home.
It's not that i don't like it here, it's OK, but it just doesn't feel right.
It has been alot more bearable since i have found work but out of work i just don't know what to do with myself. It seems queenslanders just live for the beach and the occasional BBQ, and i just don't know if that is enough for me. The kids love the beach but you have to be really careful not to get burnt as it is rarely below 30, and i find i just don't want to go out most of the time - i might as well be in blighty stuck in the house because it's raining
We have met some great people but the kids are growing up so fast and i have noone to share it with and no family to visit at xmas.
OH likes it here now (although he has also had his moments) and i don't want to take the blame if we move back and he's unhappy.
ijst don't know what to do, my head says stay longer and hope that it passes and my heart says that i won't last another 3months as i am really starting to detest it here.
Anyone else been through the same?

Don't give up too easily. You (most likely) had to go through a lot to get here, so give it time and work hard at it.
We all go through periods of loneliness (always heightened at Christmas and New Year) so maybe what might help is if you looked into local social activities: perhaps something you can do with your OH and / or the kids. I'm not in Queensland myself but there are many people on here who are who will be better placed to give you some ideas.

I've been here 3 years and i feel miserable at the moment, christmas is a hard time. I'm thinking about my family a lot and what we would be up to if we still lived there. It doesn't feel like Christmas as I know it, I can only hope it gets better the more you settle. My advice to you would be to stick it out, I wanted to go back after a few months too but it got easier and i like living here now........except at christmas lol. Take Care

Don't think I started to make friends until about 6 months... really felt a bit more local around a year when people recognised me in the street and said hello - that was a nice milestone.

Now I feel like a local. I love the UK - it's beautiful, but I don't miss it so much.
Give it a year, hon. See how you go then. I'd say the 'year' point is the one where you know whether you'll stay or go, without making a hasty decision.
I've seen too many people on here go back after a few months only to be regretting it and wanting to come back... and then they've had to work so hard to do that.
Treat it like a year out. Not a life decision. Just an adventure to try it out. But give it a bit more time. And perhaps, if you can afford it, a trip back to the UK at the end of the year so you can see how you feel.

Aus is not for everyone, but give it a bit longer.

Took me two years to feel really settled, and I still feel wobbley this time of year, I know what you mean about nothing to do, and not a lot going on, its like that in Adelaide (except in Feb when it all happens...)

Try to perhaps give it say 12 months and review it, see how you feel then, all the best with it. and do get support from other expats who know how you feel as the Aussies won't understand (unless they are seasoned travellers)

TiddlyPom's advice is good! It really is too early to make a decision - I think it's unfortunate that you've hit the "this is real life" stage, which usually happens once all the sorting out is done and you're starting to get into a daily routine, at Christmas time.

See how things go after Christmas, life gets much nicer around here once you start to make friends

3-4 months is always the worst time, coinciding with Xmas makes it doubley so. Get the next couple of weeks out the way without making any decisions, and see what the new year brings. Emigrating's a bit like moving a well-established plant, it takes a while for it to bed-in, and a good six months for it to look as comfortable in its new surroundings as it did in its previous. As Tiddly says, cut yourself a bit slack, have no expectations and just let yourself drift down the river a bit.

hi guys,,,dont give up ,we have been hear 4 months .with xmas and new year coming up it is very hard not to think about home,have a good xmas..

Been here 8 years and still feel like that, but its mainly at Xmas time. Quite seriously I cannot stand Australia at Christmas, want to shake the bloody place and say this is all wrong. Just ducked back from picking something up at the shops and we boiled from the 5 minute walk to the car. Neighbours are gearing up to be be pissed on their back deck from 5 am till 1 am for the next 2 weeks, and thats all Xmas is here really another drunken boring BBQ.
If there is a time of year here to miss overseas its going to be Now probably explains half your feelings.

I cant say the same temp blip applies to the family thing, my parents have seen my kids twice in 8 years, they are so peed off about it my mum refused to send me a Xmas card this year - that hurts. If family are real close I would say go back. You dont get over them.

I shouldnt really feel that fed up, were off on a campervan trip in 2 days, really looking forward to it, but it hasnt been enough to stop me the emotional side rearing its ugly head :curse:

But you have to get through Xmas before you make any decisions, it really is the worst time of year,.

I gotta agree with the others - this time of year is very hard for most of us living away from "home". I'm going back in 5 weeks time and I'm STILL struggling with it being Christmas and not being what I want it to be.

BUT - I am a great believer in "gut instict"...............so if it's telling you something, listen to what it has to say.

Come have a look in the Moving Back to The Uk forum for other's experiences of the same feelings. That way you get a balanced view of it all.

*pearly*

Give yourself 2yrs, look on it as a 2yr paid holiday.

We arrived Jan '06, I didn't settle until this year, why, I honestly don't know, something just changed inside me, this is now home, after 2 weeks back in England in Feb '08 I wanted to come home...here!

Will be having a typical Aussie Christmas Day with Aussie friends, however, will have a traditional British Christmas Dinner another day, just have to have my turkey, cranberry sauce, roast parsnips etc.
Bugger the heat when cooking the meat, that's what aircon is for ;-)

Cheers

everyone struggles in the first year, there have been hundreds of people post similier feelings on this forum so you are not alone. I remeber the first 6 months being the worst, then after a year things began to feel a bit more familier.
Even now though after nearly 3 years here I still sometimes get the desire to go back to the UK.

the worryig thing is when you see people who have been here 10, 20 even 30 years saying they never really felt like that fitted in to australia, that they always felt they didnt belong. Thats what worrys me.

Right now though you are going through exactly the say miserable, lonely, displaced feelings everyone gets in a new country.
Just think how much time and money its taken to get here and give yourself at least 2 years.
After all if you go back now or in 2 years time it doesnt matter but at least you will have given it a real try

Hiya we have been here 16 months now and although I do love Oz I remember been here for about 3 months and thinking exactly the same thing, this time of the year is also hard as Christmas time is family time.
Try to hang it out as long as possible hopefully things will get better


Sarah x

I think it's much harder for people who've been used to having family close. My OH and I had parents who moved from UK, so we've rarely had family at Christmas and we've always had to make new friends, but I remember my mum regretting that side of moving to Oz.

As you get older and have kids it gets harder to make real friends wherever you are. However, I think when you make some decent friends you'll have a better time. As others have said, don't be too staunch and resist expat friends because you can get support and whinge and you understand each other. Also if you're sitting at home because it's too hot to go out is there something you can learn to do that would get you out of the house? Did you want to learn to snorkel or dive? What did you want from Oz? Just go do something new and I hope you'll feel better in the New Year.

What everyone else has said Whereabouts are you in Queensland? There is stacks more to do than beach or barbie, more clubs than you can shake a stick at and (I've found anyway) cheaper to join than the UK. Get through Christmas and hopefully you'll find things easier and more settled.

Good luck and don't forget to come on here and moan again if you need to, we're all here to help.