ElshaUK

Goodluck! Just remember, that it is your life (and your childrens future) and they have the right to be concerned but not the right to interfere. Yes, going to a new country and starting fresh is going to be difficult but it is also very rewarding & if your children want to come back to England when they are grown up, then they can. (I did it.....although, I now realise the grass was indeed greener in Australia)

I know it seems hard when you are leaving family etc. But you cannot live your lives based solely on other people's feelings or else, you will lose yourself along the way. (this made more sense inside my head)

They will be able to visit, you will be able to come back on holidays, there is Internet, phone, mail etc.

I wish you all the best.

Susan

billy0911

Hi H
God what a nightmare for you just keep your chin up and all the very best

Billy & Vicki

The Johnstons

This is my mum & dad too. My mum has said she will "DIE without the kids", her "life is over", "how can you just discard us this way?", "you'll be all alone" etc etc, accompanied by pained looks, heavy sighs and lots of tears and hysteria. I don't envy you your 'chat'. I know we have many more to deal with before we go. I'm trying not to get angry about it as I realise how dreadful this is for them, but it's very hard. Best of luck, and 'keep the heid'
TJ

lucyb

This is the worst bit about emigrating, I think. I am very close to my mother, although barely tolerate my father, and I feel as if I am abondining my mother. She has been fantastic, so supportive. (Though as she moved me and my brother to the US when I was 8 for 10 years, she hasnt really got a leg to stand on!) It does break my heart as she adores my children and they her. But she is encouraging us all the way. My in laws, on the other hand, I CANT WAIT TO SEE THE BACK OF! I have had nothing but CR8P from them for the last 3 years and my FIL is a Grade A W*nker. Dont get me started on BIL and his evil wife Waffa (as in Waffa Bin Laden)/ Im desperately tring to get to emigration day without having to be in the same room as her ever agin.

Margaret2

Do you want me to come for protection, and I'll bring our hamster

Cheetah7

I am starting to go through a similar sort of thing and I don't even have children to make them feel guilty.

I find I get the questions 'Havent you two gone to Australia yet?'

Hmm, apparantly not or I wouldn't be commuting 2 hours each way to Uni in each day and cleaning the black off my face and up my nose when I get home.

Then I get 'So how long does this Australia thing take then?'

Well, they say you can't hurry love, I think that might apply to TRA and DIMIA.

Now we have told them that Stat Dec will be signed next week and then off to Glenny babes, they start to smell a rat.

'Right, i want to know exactly how you are financing this jaunt and what have the Ozzies got that the UK hasn't?'

Or, as was said to me on Monday, 'you are serious then?'

To the original poster, please don't worry about what is going to be said to you.

It is not going to change your mind, influence you in any way and whatever you do, they will think what they want to anyway.

All you can do is reassure them, tell them you are doing what is best for your family.

And do not let yourself be intimidated, put off or upset.

Talk to them and be thoughtful in your replies and the rest is water off a ducks back.

Sam

Luke I Amyofath

I believe people in this situation should detach themselves from emotional issues no matter how difficult it may be.

Your in-laws have chosen the life they live, the life in the uk. It is their choice and noone could ever make them live any other life.

You, on the other hand have every right to live your life the way you want it and if that means migrating from the uk thats your choice in life.

The distance from the uk to oz is easily travelled and though the in-laws may miss the kids, its their choice to stay in the uk.

It may be seen as selfish of you to leave the uk with your kids but being the parent of them its your decision. The in-laws attitude of selfishness should run off your back like water from a ducks back.

stutay

totally agree with you Sam x

soapy©

when i told my dad we were off, he was heartbroken.
wasnt happy at all and started all the wee jabs at us.
i come from a family of 10 kids and was the only child that saw him most days. so i can understand why he was hurt.
it all changed one day when i reminded him that he moved the whole family 10 miles when they were kids, back in the days when 10 miles felt like the other side of the world.
when asked why.
we did it for you kids !!!!!!
ditto dad
after that he was there for us every step of the way
its funny cos i speak to him twice a day now and hes really happy with the whole thing now

good luck with the inlaws, but rmbr your not doing it to get at them, its for YOUR FAMILY

spalen

sounds like a bloody good reason to go live 14000 miles away. I'd give it a big dose of tolerant listening and then an even bigger dose of ignoring. Or even better - just tell them to get lost and have a big row, saves on presents and postage costs when you are here. Or worst case scenario- they want to come too (!).

Shellfish

My poor sister has the same problem with her MIL. She whinges and complains that her 'favourite' son doesn't live near her anymore. I can understand her pain, but what really gets my goat is that she has more money than god, which means that she flies over on a very regular basis (1st class) and the whole time she is here she complains about the flight and the country. My parents, on the other hand, who are nothing but supportive but can't afford to visit whenever they like would absolutely love to trip over to visit and don't see it as a chore. This woman has told my sister and BIL that if they return to S.Africa, she will buy them a house, car and support them financially for a year or until they find their feet - hell, I am on the verge of offering to go back as a substitute . She has improved a little but my sister is expecting a baby in December and I think she is going to be unbearable once the baby is here.