dade

Hubby recently got his skilled visa and now appears to be getting cold feet about moving. We had always planned that we would move pretty quickly once he got the visa. His fears appear to revolve around getting a job. He has just turned 41 and thinks that will be an impediment and also because we know several people who have struggled to get jobs when they've emigrated. He would be leaving behind a very senior job in property development and I suppose financially we're not too badly off. We wanted to move for other lifestyle reasons and had identified Melbourne as the place to settle, mainly for better job prospects. At a rational level I think he does want to move but he is now afraid of the unknown I guess. I have lived in Perth before for 5 years and although I have never been to Melbourne I do not see that as a big problem and I guess I have the experience of moving to a totally new place with no job as I have done it a couple of times. My attitude is "you will always find a job, might take a bit of time and might not be as senior as your previous but you'll always find one". Hubby on the other hand has never done a single impulsive thing in his life and is a naturally cautious person. He hasn't said he no longer wants to go but I can see that he will plan and dither for the next 5 years. Has anyone else ever had to deal with this? Should we just abandon the whole idea? Should we do a reccie first? To my mind a reccie is just a waste of money and our 2 year old son is asthmatic, flies badly and always gets ill after flying so am trying to avoid "unnecessary flights". Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Thanks
Sani

Amanda&Phil

Sani

I sympathise it is such a hard decision and probably tuff for you to fully understand as you have done it before and see it as an adventure!!we are both earning good salaries at the momment ans shall be giving up a great lifestyle to start at the bottom! However I see it as a great adventure and can't wait. Why don't you see if your husband can get a job before you go. Get signed up with agencys over there get his cv known. They will take note of you once you have been accepted so maybe lining job interviews or an actual job would make your hubby feel better??

I am right at the start of my application so haven't had the pleasure of getting the jitters yet. Just a sugestion hope it helps
Amanda xx

Darren S

Everyone has second thoughts and I gave up a senior managerial job to go back to my trade as a sparky over here. If it's in your head to consider it our philosophy was you only live once and if you don't try it you will just continue to plod along in your comfort zone and think of the positives the UK has (and it does have some). At some point though i would say you would regret not trying. We have been in Perth 10 weeks and can't see us going back to the UK. It is well worth the stress before you get here as since we arrived, apart from a few small hiccups, we have been stress free and everything has fallen in to place. This is my first return to this site for approx 9 weeks and I would tell your hubby to stay clear of it as it was driving us mad with all the negative threads being posted. It is a really good site for help though and there are lots of good people on here.

Whatever you decide good luck

Centurion

I dont think many on this board didnt worry about the same thing.

Migration is a huge step and adventure. Full of the unknown and thats a scary prospect.

He's not alone in worrying about this and we've all been there. The only thing I can say is that I had exactly the same conversations with my wife. She asked me if I was going to carry on in my job until I was 70 ? I said probably not. She said I may as well change it now then!

Now switched careers completely and couldnt be happier although most people will stay in the same sort of industry or use the skills they already have.

Good luck!

thebears

Hi Sani

My suggestion would be for him to fly out for a break and attempt to locate work ahead of you and son. Sort of a Reccie but gear it up so the only additional cost is the extra for a return leg if it does'nt work out.

But just dont time it right on christmas when everything winds down

Kiwi

busterboy

Okay you are starting to scare me now...my day has begun and ended with you!

busterboy

Hubby on the other hand has never done a single impulsive thing in his life and is a naturally cautious person. He hasn't said he no longer wants to go but I can see that he will plan and dither for the next 5 years. Has anyone else ever had to deal with this? Should we just abandon the whole idea? Should we do a reccie first? To my mind a reccie is just a waste of money and our 2 year old son is asthmatic, flies badly and always gets ill after flying so am trying to avoid "unnecessary flights". Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Thanks
Sani[/QUOTE]

Hi this sounds like a description of me...not kidding. This is likely to go on again and again until you finally decide to get on the plane or decide not to do it at all. The uncertainty to the wisdom of this all is really difficult for cautious people as they are being asked to act completely contrary to their nature. Be patient with him as this sense of panic will oscillate regularly.

Nicstids

If it's any help, I came over here aged 40 and hubby was 46 and we had no problems at all finding jobs. In fact I'm now re-training for a completely different career and don't think that would have been an opportunity I would ever have been given in the UK

Kapri

Hi
I was in a similar position but I am sending hubby on a reccie on his own in Feb.
This seems to have got him interested. (we couldn't afford for us both to go).
I don't think it will be easy for us. I will work full time to support us while hubby retrains and we have 2 small children.
However you only live once and if it all goes wrong we will return poorer financially but with experiences and memories that are priceless.
That sounds really corny doesn't it ! I have had quite a few

brissydeb

Hi this sounds like a description of me...not kidding. This is likely to go on again and again until you finally decide to get on the plane or decide not to do it at all. The uncertainty to the wisdom of this all is really difficult for cautious people as they are being asked to act completely contrary to their nature. Be patient with him as this sense of panic will oscillate regularly.[/QUOTE]

Hi Busterboy

Can understand those feelings of unease. It is probably one of the biggest decisions of your life, but you only get one life......make the most of it! I read recently a survey of the elderly and one of the outcomes was they had all wished they had taken more risks. I think the saying is true "No risk, no gain" You can always move back home but at least you tried which is better than those that regret they never did.

iPom

Ah, cold feet. Gosh, if I could have been paid for each time that happened, I'd be wealthy right now.

THe bottom line is that without following our wishes, we end up with regrets and they're not happy things to have. Follow your heart, do what you dream of, work out if it's the right thing or not whilst you're doing it and live your life 100%. That's what it's there for.

Hope you both do what you dream of.

DunRoaminTheUK

All I would say, based on our recent experience, is that "Cold Feet" is really just an illusion and quite natural for all and sundry.

Getting a job was one of my biggest worries and I am 37. The thing is that my age never came up for discussion once and in fact I think putting your age on your resume is actually discouraged. Also, I work in IT which has in the past been guilty of ageism when recruiting people.

The bottom line is that we're very glad we made the leap. It's 4 parts mindset and 1 part effort if you ask me.

brissydeb

Agree totally!!

julie hilton

Good for you. We haven't been there before and it would be too much money for a Reccie, but if all goes tits up, then we will just come back and start again. As you say with experiences and memories!!!!

rab

Oh dear, oh dear the rose tinted glasses are on again with the replies so far. I think a reccie is a good idea, preferably done together and not your husband just by himself. It's all very well saying that you've got to go for it, be tough, be committed, take a risk etc etc, but if you end up doing an 11,000 mile removal twice and going home feeling crap and penniless then you will regret it and it could harm the relationships that you have with the ones you love.