Re: How to tell the family???
 

We waited until I got my visa before telling anyone. We told my brother and sister and hubby's mum long before we told my mother. I waited until she really pissed me off one day and then told her. She told me not to be so stupid and why would I take HER grandchildren away. My eldest was there and responded with ' you've not taken a lot of interest in us so far so what would be different?' My mother has never listened to the girls so didn't hear what she said but not to worry.

Re: How to tell the family???
 

We told my parents on Tuesday about us planning to move to the US (my wife is American) later in the year for a couple of years with our 3-month-old baby/ their first grandson.

We'd have got a better reaction if I'd told them we'd sold him to Michael Jackson.

In two days of phone calls from my mum (my dad is abroad but heartbroken apparently) - we're out of the will, the christening at the family church we were planning is cancelled as there is now no point, we've done it behind their backs (despite ringing them up to tell them what is going on), they are devastated and don't want to see us or speak to us etc, etc - my personal favourite - "You've been brainwashed by Americans!"

It's my mums birthday today and I'm going to ring through gritted teeth to try and be reasonable and I hope they will calm down eventually etc but no matter how much you prepare for it, the reality is it's hard.

Have been a bit tearful in myself today and my lovely wife is willing to scrap the whole thing and move back to the North East to keep the peace but I refuse to let my dream of living in the states go.

An old girlfriends dad dropped down dead several years ago - they had applied to go to Australia but his tearful mother blackmailed him into staying and they did. I can't help but think that maybe the weather, lifestyle and sun in Aus - things might have been different for him. He was only 44.

the other lesson that taught me is that you don't know how long you've got so chase your dreams while you can.

Re: How to tell the family???
 

Firstly congratulations on getting your visa.

We told our families as soon as we had decided we wanted to move. My family have been great and although I know they don't want us to move and will miss us, they have been very supportive. They are already saving up to come and visit and we haven't even got there yet.

My inlaws have been a bit of a nightmare though. I have got the blame for it and have been accused of taking their son away from them. The fact that it was his idea doesn't seem to matter. They have just been awful and I am struggling to deal with it. I wish we had waited now as they are making it so hard for us. They do everything they can to make us feel guilty and we are constantly have to try and justify ourselves to them.

We decided to tell them early on as we though it was the best thing to do. We thought it would give everyone time to get used to the idea but with my inlaws all it has done, is given them loads of time to have a go at us.

Good luck.

Re: How to tell the family???
 

I know it's going to be difficult, we put of telling my parents for ages, but when we did eventualy tell them they were upset but new it was what we realy wanted to do. Just tell them, you may be surprised by the reaction. Good luck.

Re: How to tell the family???
 

Hi All

Since telling my parents, Mum is only interested in seeing the granchildren (3) but wants to take them out on her own (doesn't seem to want to see us). Keeps going on how she thought our relationship was better than she now has discovered (I think she believes our relationship was so great that I would never leave her and stay to look after her - like she has with her Mum - her brother emigrated to oz in the 60's). Phoned today and said my Gran was not coping and was ill and Dad was ill as he wasn't coping - but she does want me to go!!!!!!

Hopefully things will calm down. It does get you down when you hear lots of negativity, but then I remind myself of why we are going and it is our life, they chose their path in life and we are choosing ours.

I also believe our children are a gift to us and we cherish the moments we have with them and allow then to grow and lead a life they want (as we have).

Keep positive.

Re: How to tell the family???
 

Hi Sparky

Well, we did it - told them and got a fairly pleasant surprise in that they were asking us loads of questions about the house what we are going to do etc etc and what we are going to do in financial terms. Told them we had an appt with HSBC to set up an account in Australia which will have the equity from our house paid into it so no worries there.

What did surprise us is that they had also looked into moving over there after we had - and were told that they could not go over on the Parent Migrant Visa because - although I am an "only" child with my parents here, my Dad has two daughters from a previous marriage. My parents have been told they could not use this visa option to migrate to australia because he does not meet the following criteria :-

* at least half of your children are permanently resident in Australia
* you have more children living permanently in Australia than any other country

In effect, he has 3 children (2 of which he hasnt seen for donkeys years and are grown up with their own families) and myself who is migrating to Australia.

Any advice - is there a way they could get round this?

Re: How to tell the family???
 

Sounds like it went well Wiltsgurl! :):thumbsup:

Am not sure how to get around the sibling situation...perhaps someone knows??

Re: How to tell the family???
 

My Dad has been fine about it all (although i know he'll be heartbroken when we move with the two kids this year), but my Mum's mood about the whole thing swings and at times she can be quite mean.... One minute she'll talk about it - and likes to tell people that her daughter and family are emigrating (something different to chat about with the women in work i guess!) - but the next minute she'll leave the room if i bring the subject up, or has to make a point of saying that they would never visit us. We've been back 1 month from our validation trip and the only people that haven't seen our photo's etc is my Mum&Dad. Twice i've tried to pop round and get them to see them and both times my Mum has come up with some crap excuse that she's busy (last one was that she was about to have a bath (at 2pm in the afternoon - yeah right!)..... Now it's starting to make me angry as she knows we're definitely going and is showing no interest in it at all.....
I envy some of the posters on British Expats that have really supportive parents! I wish someone would record or video my Mum when she's like that and play it back to her and then perhaps she'd see how nasty she can be at times....
The OH's sister has already lived in Oz for 17years although we seem to have upset that lot now as well as we've chosen not to live in Perth where they are but move to Tasmania instead (we visited both places on our trip). His Mum has now not said much as i think she was expecting to have to just visit the one place!