geoff52

Oh my husband and I already discussed it yesterday and said actually what we have here is pretty good. I think it's always easier to look elsewhere and think you could have a better life but sometimes you need to appreciate what you actually have. The issue originally was that his transfer would be coupled with a promotion, so he'd make significantly more money. We're not money oriented as people but we do understand that it can buy you a lot of freedom - a bigger house when you're a family of 5 so living in a bigger place just relieves a bit of stress sometimes. Freedom to travel more. We'd consider a private school for the little ones (so long as it was a caring private school not solely focuses on ratings), and freedom from worries associated with money. There are some massively amazing benefits from moving to either Brisbane or Calgary - both have incredible scenery and outdoor life advantages (even though as said, we are outdoorsie here but I think a change in the types of outdoor experiences such as Brisbane or Calgary would offer sometimes pushes you to get out and take advantage even more). Again, the promotion would be an advantage and a larger house with more space. It will be something I think we'll look at in a couple of years. But it takes asking questions and debating and chatting with people from those places to often make you see points you're not thinking about and to learn new things which all affect your decision. We're not moving as a twenty something couple - we'd be moving as a nearly 40 couple with 3 children to think of. So it's not something I take lightly. I don't think it's as simple as saying we're better off here or we'd be better moving...especially not on just what's been said in this forum. It goes much deeper than that and it needs to. It's a life changing event and one which we would also be actively changing the lives of three children and how their life path will develop from our choices. So it takes a lot of time and thought. And I grateful of all the help I've had on here. It's been a real education and has given me a feeling of huge contentment these past two days with what we do have here. Whether I'll feel that way in a few months or a year's time is another thing I can say that I think we'll always want to take up the offer of a relocation but it needs to be when we're ready. As I think you said, (or someone else but on this thread), life is short. And it is. Don't know if I want us to be contained our whole life in one place. The flip side being we need to take care of our children and ensure its right for them. Life is never straight forward it seems


Did you not post this in the Canada section? So move to Calgary (Canada) is off the list.

ABD79

Thank you for replying! I can live with that amount, (although, it depends how big the huntsman was!!!) They do scare me incredibly! And they're not even harmful! It's just their sheer size. May as well be a goat crawling towards me with 8 legs Do you get many other kinds in the house? I'm probably focusing too much on huntsman due to their crazy size and possibly ignoring the fact that there could be a dozen more spiders people get in their house each year that are just as scary only a little bit smaller!

ABD79

Bit confused...no it's not off the list. Our relocation decision is between the two cities (as I've mentioned quite often). We're just weighing up the pros and cons and considering when. At the moment we're quite content here in the UK and want to buy the house we're currently renting and then rent it out ourselves if we relocate. We're not looking to relocate because we don't like the UK, which makes it a difficult decision because we're really happy here. But a relocation would probably come with a promotion job wise for my husband so we have that to think of - and the hopefully wonderful experience a new country could offer our children. It's a life changing decision and not one we're taking lightly as we have three children to consider.

Rete

Oh good ... you have added Canada to the mix. How do you feel about really cold weather and lots and lots of snow? You and the boys can have lots of fun in the snow what with hockey, skiing, sledding, ice skating, building snow forts, have snowball fights. And Canadians are not a bad sought. Well they have lots of guns up there but they hunt a lot, as well, with them. But if you go to British Columbia you will miss out on a lot of the snow activity but I hear the weather is much nicer. A little more mild. At least these are all the things my Canadian husband and relatives tell me. And live in Toronto, Vancouver, Halifax and Montreal.

PS BTW the correct spelling is outdoorsy

bcworld

Substantial spiders I have pretty much never had in the house, I've lived in Brisbane and Melbourne. In Brisbane, the laundry was under the house and one time I was confronted by the mother of all huntsmen down there.

But the car thing has actually happened to me several times...and that is here in the inner suburbs of Melbourne. I am not a fan of sharing the car with one that's for sure and there have been a couple of occasions when I've probably driven for a couple of minutes pretty much fixated on a spider rather than what was going on around me. People suggest not parking under trees.

I do think that your preoccupation with spiders would probably pass after a few weeks of seeing nothing though. Then it would be no worse than what you experience in the UK.

Bo-Jangles

Whilst not in Australia I do understand the OPs fear and remember feeling exactly the same about Wetas and Whitetails before we came to NZ. Pollyanna's post is spot on because really once you get here and start getting into daily life Wetas and whitetail spiders don't really feature; unless you go looking for them.

Yes, in twelve years of being in NZ we've had a few whitetails in the house and I have seen a couple of wetas at much closer quarters than I would like (one on the kitchen bench) but after the initial meltdown and hysterics, they have been dealt with in a matter of seconds.

In NZ we have all manner of other harmless creatures that freak me out but life goes on and it's not like I am terrified to go anywhere or do anything. For example our mailbox is fraught with terror as cockroaches like to lurk there, cicadas freak me out, praying mantis like to hang around on the windows in the autumn and horrid flying daddy longlegs things come in if you leave the door open for a second with lights on but I don't dwell on those things and just deal with them as best I can when the situation arises.

Dealing with it does however sometimes involve me running around having a completely mental hissy fit, throwing my stuff on the floor and flapping my arms, but that's okay!!!

Honestly most days are a non-event in the insect stakes and I have become much braver than I ever imagined because it becomes quite 'normal'. I have weapons; access to a hoover, an array of brooms, cans of Mortein in every cupboard and a hubby who will come running if I scream loud enough.

I make much less of a fuss these days and can usually can muster the strength to simply spray the thing and wait for it to die or just shut the door and run before I scream for help. :

Stinkypup

Are you having a laugh? Some of the best snow sports in the world

Kiwikaye

We live in Melbourne, and in our currently house have probably had about 1 huntsman per year. We do get a few other spiders on and off, but nothing to particularly worry about.

I used to be MASSIVELY arachnophobic, to the point where I would scream and hide in another room if I saw one. It has gradually over the last few years got better (not through any particular action of mine), to the point where it is now not a worry. I still don't particularly LIKE spiders, but I can now deal with them better than my OH! I think having kids and a husband that used to work shift work, so was never around late at night when I would spot the buggers, helped a bit.

We have seen a couple of red backs, but none of us have ever been bitten by one and they were easily dealt with.

Spiders are a fact of life in Australia, and one you will have to decide to deal with (or not) if you decide to move here. At this time of year in Melbourne it is winter and reasonably cold, so we don't see any at all pretty much. Summer there are a few more around, but mostly outside.

ABD79

Well, not added Canada as a whole to the mix...just Calgary. The children love the snow...I love the warm I'm not a sun worshiper - I tend to cover up! They are two very extreme places! Probably the most extreme inhabitable places on earth!

ABD79

Thank you! Yes my husband isn't much better with spiders than me! I've already said I'll have to have hypnosis if we go And likely so will he! I don't know what it is about them...and some more than others. Like there's one there (a cross something spider?) and it is brown and it has 4 legs! For some reason that just looks terrifying to me! There's no logic to it. Stay Beatles I love. I think they're beautiful and we've seen a few lately on our walk to my little boy's school and I happily scoop them up on a leaf to save them. And their body must be about 5cm...at least the ones I've seen. But a spider anything over about 3cm INCLUDING legs and I freak out! I think it's because they get in unsuspecting places and they can be quite fast. I have goose bumps just writing about that! I don't want it to put us off Australia if we choose that though. I really don't! I've asked lots of questions in here but I think the more I talk about it the more it does help for the better

verystormy

I think you are being incredibly sensible about this.


One of the things that we see all to often on the forum are people who think that their lives will suddenly have a huge improvement by making the move. For example, many think they will move to Oz and spend their days lounging by the pool, when in reality, they will be going to work and doing all the same things as they have always done - clean the loo, doing the shopping and wash the pots. Just in different surroundings.


Also, many don't recognize what they already have. We didn't until we returned to the UK after 8 years away. It has given us a completely new perspective. For example, my wife went to the beach yesterday and actually shed a tear at just how pretty it was. This wasn't some glamorous part, but South Shields near Newcastle.


When you do decide if you want to do it, you need to also look at the fine print of life in another country. For example, annual leave is in many countries not as generous as the UK. The average in Oz is only 20 days. Working hours can also be longer - Australians work some of the longest hours in the developed world.


You also need to think seriously about things like climate. If you are going to consider Calgary, have you spent any time in extreme cold? I have and liked it, but many don't. So, if you were to consider it, I would suggest trying it first - make a visit to northern Sweden or somewhere in February.


Also, do some forward planning. For example, if you go to any country, make sure you fully understand the visa you are going on and what the long term consequences may be. For example, if it were a work transfer as you have mentioned, then it would probably be a 457 visa and you would need to go in the assumption you would be returning at the end of it. But that in itself carries consequences. For example, children going to university may have to be in the UK a number of years prior to applying or be treated as international students.


What ever you decide I wish you luck

Dreamy

No, it has 8 legs, honest guv. It just rests its legs in a diagonal cross, 2 legs together.

I was terrified of spiders. When we first came out, I wouldn't walk on grass (even with shoes on), wouldn't walk near hedges, wouldn't walk under trees. We were staying in a serviced apartment on the 17th (made up number, it was high, anyway) floor of a newish, well maintained building near the Storey Bridge in Brisbane and I had to put the bedroom light on to go to the bathroom in the night and did the whole tapping of my shoes before I put them on. Not to mention turning socks inside out, gloves inside out, etc. etc.

Almost 10 years later and I even take photos of them (from a distance. And only if they're very, very, very, very stationary).

You just can't live with that level of extreme terror. So you stop being extremely terrified.

If you don't think you can stop being extremely terrified, you really need to stay in the UK. Where I was "attacked" by way more spiders than I have been here. And I live in the middle of bushland!

Do we get spiders indoors? Yes. But as lots of people have said, spraying the outside of the house will take care of the vast majority of them. Have I had huntsmen in the car? No, not in the car, but they do like inside the wing mirror on my car - spraying those areas prone to spiders takes care of that. Common sense will get you a long way.

ozzieeagle

I'm very sorry I posted that video now. I never realised people could actually be that scared of spiders. I figured it was more of a squeamish thing than an actual morbid fear.

I guess if I have a phobia, mine would be being alone without partner.

ABD79

I forgot to say, it makes you wonder just how long that huntsman had been in your house! Oh it makes me shudder just to think! Yes the car thing worries me a lot as I just lose all normal bodily control when I see a spider...so I have a horrible vision of me careering off the road with my three little ones in the car :-/

old.sparkles

My mum has such a phobia that she can't even look at them on the TV or in a magazine OE.