tinman

Hi all
i was just wondering about how many people have been to Oz and then decided to return???

We have been here (QLD) for approx 6months now and are starting to wonder if we have done the right thing. We decided to emigrate to try to have a better life for us and our 18month old son, not that we didn't have a bad life in england. We are just now wondering if we have done the right thing, when i think of all the good times in my past they have mostly being with family, i can always remember wanting to visit grandparents , holidays, etc and we now realise that my son won't have any of that.

Is life really about where you are, or is it who your with (i.e family). Just wondered everyone's thoughts on it????

Tinman

Three Legs

Have a look at the "Moving back to the UK" section...

Makes for some interesting reading, although take a lot of it with a pinch of salt.

There are some very bitter on there...

Three Legs

Shadowfox

Thats a difficult question to answer and I think is really down to the individual themselves. I would guess that since its only 6 months since you moved to QLD then it is inevitable that you would feel as you are. Moving to another country is a huge life changer and it takes time to adjust which is the scary part. Where ever you are you will always have the family connection, that will never be lost. I would say think about the future and give yourself more time to settle before you make a decision

PS: I'm planning on heading out to OZ in the next few years myself and can emphastise with you feel

louise4

Hi Tinman, this is a tough one because everyone is different. we went to Sydney and returned after 7 months. Yes it was a big thing regarding family and we also wondered if we had done the right thing removing the kids from their grandparents. we are returning to Sydney again as soon as finances allow.
One thing that i heard on hear somewhere is that you crave your past, your youth. and that is exactly how we were. it wasn't the last four/five years we missed it was the history before that, when you are so many miles away your past seems totally lost. the thing is it is gone anyway. it is up to you to make new memories over there. understandably for some no matter how long they stay it will never be right but for others (like my family) it is just a matter of giving it plenty of time to make yourself some good friends and some fantastic memories.

I think the only thing i would say to you is to get your citizenship. we are on a tight rope now to get back before our visas expire. if we didn't have the time frame against us it would seem a lot easier at the moment.

Hope this helps.

Louise

worzel

Somebody (possibly ABC Diamond as he excels at statistics) posted some figures on here a few months ago showing percentages returning by length of stay. I was amazed how many went back and that there was quite a large spread. Some didn't stay long as you might expect but there was a steady flow even after 10's of years. Maybe ABCD will re-publish or someone can find the thread?

worzel

Here you go:

http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=265347

NKSK

Great post.

wildmark

As per three legs you need to post this on 'returning back to Uk and have all those whingers cry on your shoulder

Carla Elliott

Hi - sorry to hear you are feeling like this - we are only in the stages of thinking about coming out there but I must admit that one of the things holding us back is that we wouldn't want to take our young ones from their grandparents but then we try to think of the better lifestyle that we would get in place of that. My question would be is it worth leaving behind all your friends and family to live in Oz? Is the lifestyle out there so much better than here? Still don't know the answer though I'm afraid. Hope you are happy with whatever you decide.

kath n kim

Hi tinman. I can echo your sentiments. We have been here for two years and have been weighing up what we left behind, against what we have gained over here since we arrived!
As you, we did not leave the U.K because we were unhappy or had a bad life there, we just thought we may be able to improve on it, or maybe offer our children a better way of life. We don't feel we have achieved either of these.
We have given our children a bigger house than we could afford in the U.K, but this does not compensate for what we left behind in wealth of family and love surrounding them there.
We have a more "outdoors" way of life here, but instead of wrapping them up in clothes to keep them warm (as you need to in the U.K most of the year!) I am now smothering them with sunscreen creams (containing goodness knows what chemicals..) to prevent them getting skin cancer later in life...
I too have memories of a childhood spent with Grandparents and Aunties, Uncles, Cousins and extended relatives and friends. Going to family get-togethers, holidays and parties etc, and these are treasured memories. I feel guilty that my children may never experience these if we stay.
Maybe if we had left to get away from family or circumstances, we would find it easier to stay here without ant regrets, but we were not escaping from anything, just exploring every option.....
Having spent some time here, we are now realising the true value of what we left behind. I think we shall probably return to the U.K, albeit to a smaller (probably rented! ) house than we have here.
kath n kim

ABCDiamond

Don't forget though, to also take account of those who came to OZ, went back to UK, and then returned to OZ again

It's a surprisingly high number from the looks of things

Try to stay long enough to get Citizenship. Then you, and your child, will have all the options for the future.
Many people have gone through your phase at about 6 months but then settle here after a year or so.

moneypenny20

If you do go on the "returning" site, be very careful about your current frame of mind. There are some brilliant, positive, helpful guys there who will give great advice, there are also, obviously, some very unhappy people, desperate to come back and depending how you are feeling, can make you feel worse or better.

You also have be very rational about what you miss in the UK. Loads of people mention country pubs with roaring fires - I never do that and can't imagine ever missing it. Ditto family but every family is different. You worry about the children missing family occasions; if you were in the UK would you attend all of these occasions or are you just imagining you're missing them - if you get my drift.

Six months is very early days but really only you know how you all as a family feel.

Good luck.

michellemac

Hi Tinman,

I'm kind of the opposite - I'm australian and lived in the Uk for 10 years now and returning "home" with my British husband. I would say that 6 months is a VERY short time to have evaluated your time in Australia and it is also the tiem when the "reality" sinks in. Every day life becomes just that -
an everyday occurance - and your new place is feelign familiar.

I found 6 months to be the worse homesickness time of all.

I think the best way to be fair to yourself and to be fair to your family is to give it a set period of time - 2 years seems good (although there is no point styaing that long if you are utterly miserable), it's enough time to build a new social network, for example. After 6 months it woud be natural to miss close friends and family.

I found I "got my life" in the UK after 2 years or so. None of the people I was friends with in my first year are people I see any more, but after a year here I got a different vibe, settled in much better and now have some fab friends (of course that makes it harder for me to go back to Oz now).

Think of the reasons you first decided to leave the UK, have you answered any of the "questions" (i.e do you have a better lifestyle, do you enjoy spending time outside? Do you even like the heat?) or are the same issues still there?

I hope this helps a bit :-)

Michelle

Anne4Terry

My sister moved out to Perth 17 years ago with her husband (before they had children). About 7 years ago she came back for a visit because she was feeling homesick and missing everyone. She stayed here with her 3 boys for 6 weeks and obviously was very upset when she left again.

After she had been back in Perth a couple of months she decided that she had definitely made the right decision to move to Oz and it is her home now. But it took her the visit home and then back to really weigh things up. Her life is well and truly in Australia, she has her own family memories there now. She says that the only thing she REALLY misses from England is me. Well, hopefully we will be out there too next year so that solves that one.

mr mover

Mate after spending 23 yrs of my life , moving people into and out of OZ, i would reckon QLD would be the worst , state to start off in, vic ,sa ,wa have a high population of poms , thus you willl find more tolerance. Q- people tend to be more self involved, the return to UK rate is higher than any other state, that is from QLD..... ............... mm