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How long does it take to feel 'settled'?

How long does it take to feel 'settled'?

Old Sep 25th 2004, 12:40 pm
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Default How long does it take to feel 'settled'?

Just wondering,

After the trauma of saying goodbye to loved ones, we will find ourselves starting from scratch again. New place to live, new surroundings, new schools for the kids, new everything.

Most people rent for a while before buying a property. At what point do you start to feel settled? Say, you rent a place for 6 months before buying, how do you cope with the feeling of not having a 'home', added onto that a touch of homesickness....

D D
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Old Sep 25th 2004, 12:53 pm
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Default Re: How long does it take to feel 'settled'?

Originally Posted by DollyDaydream

Most people rent for a while before buying a property. At what point do you start to feel settled? Say, you rent a place for 6 months before buying, how do you cope with the feeling of not having a 'home', added onto that a touch of homesickness....

D D
Tricky one - I think one of the reasons I don't feel settled is that not only are we renting, but its the place The Bloke has been renting for years - so it still feels like I'm living in his house. We can't get a mortageg until I get PR (Spouse visa, another 18 months to go!!) unless we cna raise a hefty 20% deposit and there no chance of that. Looks like we'll be here for a while.
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Old Sep 25th 2004, 1:02 pm
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Default Re: How long does it take to feel 'settled'?

Originally Posted by DollyDaydream
Just wondering,

After the trauma of saying goodbye to loved ones, we will find ourselves starting from scratch again. New place to live, new surroundings, new schools for the kids, new everything.

Most people rent for a while before buying a property. At what point do you start to feel settled? Say, you rent a place for 6 months before buying, how do you cope with the feeling of not having a 'home', added onto that a touch of homesickness....

D D
I think having work to go to helps you settle. At least it makes it quicker to build a network of people you know. Perhaps keeping in touch with some ex-pats who've done it too would be a great help.

Go into your rental accommadation thinking of it as home. Put up your photos and such. I've always rented so have never felt this to be a setback to settling. Your kids will very very soon make friends and hopefully you'll get to know other mums and dads in the area this way.

As a teacher in Perth I had to work in the country for at least two years. I did three. Two different towns away from friends and family. Getting to know people I worked with helped enormously.

Then I moved to the UK. And although I had my (now) hubby I knew no one else around me. I had family in the UK but they were up in the north east while I am in the south-west. He worked all day while I umm...shopped and applied for jobs. I soon got to know the wives and girlfriends of his work mates though and they made my life much much easier.

I don't think you ever really get over being homesick. I've been in the UK for 6 years now and Christmas is always hard. I miss my family a great deal especially when they talk about doing things together and so on. But it doesn't mean I regret the move or don't enjoy being here. Just that sometimes I need to remember why I did it. Loads and loads of phone calls help.

Last year was also hard as I got married. Although all my family came over for it, the lead up was hard, not having mum to go dress shopping and stuff. But I had a fantastic best friend who held me up and got me through it with a lot of laughs. It took me a long time to find a friend as good as she is but eventually we became inseparable. Leaving her to go home to Oz is going to be a huge teary wrench.

But as time goes by and your 'normal' life resumes you find that doing the everyday things takes away the pangs most of the time.

Not sure if this is of any use and help but do remember there are loads of people out there who have done what you are about to. They may well be a great source of information and support in your new life.
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Old Sep 25th 2004, 1:29 pm
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Default Re: How long does it take to feel 'settled'?

Ushas,

Thanks for your post, it has been of help. I guess when your stuff eventually arrives, to have your personal bits around you will help. Also to have a mental plan that you won't feel settled overnight and that it will take at least 2 (or more) years. Having patience and not trying to rush things. I must learn to be less impatient!!!

Congratulations on your wedding last year!!

D D
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Old Sep 25th 2004, 1:56 pm
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Default Re: How long does it take to feel 'settled'?

Originally Posted by DollyDaydream
Ushas,

Thanks for your post, it has been of help. I guess when your stuff eventually arrives, to have your personal bits around you will help. Also to have a mental plan that you won't feel settled overnight and that it will take at least 2 (or more) years. Having patience and not trying to rush things. I must learn to be less impatient!!!

Congratulations on your wedding last year!!

D D
Best wishes Dolly. I'm emigrating to Oz on Thursday and once I've spent some time in Thailand and with the in laws I'll be starting from scratch in Brisbane, a place where I don't know anyone.

I suppose people are affected in different ways but personally I'm very excited about the whole thing. It's not often that you get to start again in life, the world is your oyster! Enjoy the challenge and make the life that you deserve!!!
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Old Sep 25th 2004, 2:07 pm
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Default Re: How long does it take to feel 'settled'?

Originally Posted by Kentish Man
Best wishes Dolly. I'm emigrating to Oz on Thursday and once I've spent some time in Thailand and with the in laws I'll be starting from scratch in Brisbane, a place where I don't know anyone.

I suppose people are affected in different ways but personally I'm very excited about the whole thing. It's not often that you get to start again in life, the world is your oyster! Enjoy the challenge and make the life that you deserve!!!
Wow, your leaving on Thursday!! I envy you. I am also excited about our plans, and as most people, the wait is tortuous and from making the decision to actually setting foot on ozzie soil is far too long to wait.

All the best for your new adventure.

D D
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Old Sep 25th 2004, 3:40 pm
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Default Re: How long does it take to feel 'settled'?

Originally Posted by Kentish Man
Best wishes Dolly. I'm emigrating to Oz on Thursday and once I've spent some time in Thailand and with the in laws I'll be starting from scratch in Brisbane, a place where I don't know anyone.

I suppose people are affected in different ways but personally I'm very excited about the whole thing. It's not often that you get to start again in life, the world is your oyster! Enjoy the challenge and make the life that you deserve!!!
Good luck when you get here to Brissie, and remember UK beer- Liquor Superstore, Lutwyche!
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Old Sep 25th 2004, 4:43 pm
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Default Re: How long does it take to feel 'settled'?

Originally Posted by Pollyana
Good luck when you get here to Brissie, and remember UK beer- Liquor Superstore, Lutwyche!
Don't worry Polly, I haven't forgotten your discovery of fine ales in Brissie. Dubtless I'll see you in there one day!!

Cheers
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Old Sep 25th 2004, 5:11 pm
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Default Re: How long does it take to feel 'settled'?

For us I'd reckon it was around 18 months before we felt this was home.
Its difficult because I had been here before & loved it but my wife had never been in Australia. She is a nurse & started with an agency, great money but it was one night at this hospital & next at another etc etc. When she went back to a place she had worked before it was a differant shift on so she was finding it hard to make friends & really felt homesick.
Luckily a local hospital asked her if she would work permanent with them which she jumped at & we bought some land & built our own house.

She know has quite a few friends both at work & on this site & says even if I cacked it tomorrow she wouldn't go back to UK :scared:

We both love Aus but yes I'd say 18 months to get settled & enjoy.
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Old Sep 25th 2004, 9:44 pm
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Default Re: How long does it take to feel 'settled'?

Originally Posted by Kentish Man
Best wishes Dolly. I'm emigrating to Oz on Thursday and once I've spent some time in Thailand and with the in laws I'll be starting from scratch in Brisbane, a place where I don't know anyone.

I suppose people are affected in different ways but personally I'm very excited about the whole thing. It's not often that you get to start again in life, the world is your oyster! Enjoy the challenge and make the life that you deserve!!!

Good attitude best of luck for Thusday

where abouts in Kent are you?

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Old Sep 25th 2004, 11:36 pm
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Default Re: How long does it take to feel 'settled'?

Originally Posted by DollyDaydream
Just wondering,

After the trauma of saying goodbye to loved ones, we will find ourselves starting from scratch again. New place to live, new surroundings, new schools for the kids, new everything.

Most people rent for a while before buying a property. At what point do you start to feel settled? Say, you rent a place for 6 months before buying, how do you cope with the feeling of not having a 'home', added onto that a touch of homesickness....

D D

We settled in really quckly. Within about 3-4 weeks everything felt fine. I got the first job that I applied for ...an interesting, well paid position which was very lucky, and I started working about 2 months after we got here, and my husband was already working (the reason for us coming to Melbourne).

We own a home in the UK which we have rented out for the past few years and we also rent here - but think of this as our home too. I think this is part of the battle for me - making a rental place as nice as possible, even if it is temporary so that it feels like home and is a nice place to come back to every evening. We also don't spend a lot of time comparing Melbourne to the UK - and just try and enjoy it for what it is -a fantastic, diverse city with great restaurants and amazing surrounding coast and countryside.

We have settled into a great way of life here. Work, then dinner or cinema out with friends a few times during the week. I go to the gym and hubby plays soccer and at weekends we have friends over for dinnner or go out for the day (skiing in the past few months, hiking, to the beach). It feels like leading a 'normal' life in a great city. We were in Edinburgh before and did the same sorts of things (just in slightly worse weather!!).

We keep in touch with family and friends though phone & email and although we miss them, they are happy for us that we are here. I guess that we had different reasons to come here than a lot of the people on the site. We were never trying to escape the UK and work brought us to Melbourne, and we had been away from the UK in the US for 2 years beforehand.

Anyway just our experiences on settling here... I know everyone is different and remember that we had already been away from the UK for 2 years before we moved here so that also helped.


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Old Sep 26th 2004, 8:18 am
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Default Re: How long does it take to feel 'settled'?

Hi dolly,
we've been here for just over 2 weeks and all of us already feel settled, reasons may be that within a week we:
bought me a car,
got daughter into school
rented a lowset for 6 months
like someone said make your rented place your home, put things that are familiar to you on show things like ornaments, photos etc. We feel like we're 'home' and already we talk of England as the UK not 'home', this is our home, we all really feel like this.
Best of luck to you mate
Rach, Mark and Chanelle x
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Old Sep 26th 2004, 9:12 am
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Default Re: How long does it take to feel 'settled'?

Originally Posted by DollyDaydream
Just wondering,

Most people rent for a while before buying a property. At what point do you start to feel settled? Say, you rent a place for 6 months before buying, how do you cope with the feeling of not having a 'home', added onto that a touch of homesickness....

D D
Dolly,

I agree with you, the waiting to get over here was one of the most frustrating things. But hang in there, and when you look back, you will think the time flew by!

To answer your question - we haven't stayed in one place for longer than 6 months at a time in the past 3+ years before we moved to Brisbane 6 weeks ago, so as soon as we move into our new home and get a dog, we will feel settled.

Luckily this is all happening really quickly - we're moving to our house in Ormiston tomorrow. AND hubby JTL is going to pick up a "Jack" replacement, "Jock", as soon as he drops me off at the house!

Jack is our 10-year-old springer spaniel who is now staying with JTL's brother's family in Norn Iron. Jock is a 4-year-old springer spaniel from the AWL (Animal Welfare League) of Queensland. We're totally excited about Jock, whose name wasn't even chosen by us, but by the caretaker at AWL. What a coincidence?!

I don't know if either of us can sleep tonight - as JTL says, it's like Christmas all over again! I'm really looking forward to having a place I can call home for at least the next 10 or 20 years, without JTL telling me "You can't buy this - think about how we are moving this to ... when we leave this apartment/house" EVERY time I go into a shop!

That's my long definition of "being settled", even before the shipments arrive from the UK and Hong Kong...

Mrs JTL
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Old Sep 28th 2004, 4:29 pm
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Default Re: How long does it take to feel 'settled'?

Originally Posted by Kentish Man
Don't worry Polly, I haven't forgotten your discovery of fine ales in Brissie. Dubtless I'll see you in there one day!!

Cheers
Ahhhh, this just gets better ... fine ales AND darts ... good luck on Thursday Kentish Man!

Back on topic, when I can walk the street without somebody pointing at my sunburnt face (in the "depths" of winter) THEN I'll feel good
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