How do you cope with visitors?
Apr 27th 2007, 4:42 pm
#1
BE Forum Addict
Thread Starter
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,187
How do you cope with visitors?
I know everyone is different but how do you cope with visitors?
If the MIL visits, then I will pass her in the airport
cause putting up with her for weeks horrifies me!
She can walk through arrivals as I sit in departures.
Seriously though, I wouldn't want to babysit everyone that come over, we will still have to work and earn a living. What about the relatived with unruly kids or people who think they can eat all your food, break our computer and expect you to waite on them hand a foot.
Obviously, I can't wait for certain family members/friends to come over but people you hardly ever see might want cheap holidays etc.
Just wondered what experiences you lot have had and how you have dealt with it.
Mandy
If the MIL visits, then I will pass her in the airport
cause putting up with her for weeks horrifies me! She can walk through arrivals as I sit in departures.Seriously though, I wouldn't want to babysit everyone that come over, we will still have to work and earn a living. What about the relatived with unruly kids or people who think they can eat all your food, break our computer and expect you to waite on them hand a foot.
Obviously, I can't wait for certain family members/friends to come over but people you hardly ever see might want cheap holidays etc.
Just wondered what experiences you lot have had and how you have dealt with it.
Mandy
Apr 27th 2007, 5:58 pm
#2
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,905
Re: How do you cope with visitors?
GOOD LUCK!!
I only moved to Europe and I have every relative you can think of wanting free bed and breakfast!!
They also think your the local tour guide too!!
We are think thank god Aus is further away cos at times wanted to strangle some ungrateful relatives!
You need to learn how to lie (oh, it was lovely having you, not!), grin with gritted teeth! Also become a master at swearing in a whisper so they cant hear you!
They are your relatives and just thank god they dont live next door!
Have fun
Gems
I only moved to Europe and I have every relative you can think of wanting free bed and breakfast!!
They also think your the local tour guide too!!
We are think thank god Aus is further away cos at times wanted to strangle some ungrateful relatives!
You need to learn how to lie (oh, it was lovely having you, not!), grin with gritted teeth! Also become a master at swearing in a whisper so they cant hear you!
They are your relatives and just thank god they dont live next door!
Have fun
Gems
Apr 27th 2007, 9:17 pm
#3
Karoola!!!!!!
Joined: Feb 2007
Location: Karoola
Posts: 487
Re: How do you cope with visitors?
GOOD LUCK!!
I only moved to Europe and I have every relative you can think of wanting free bed and breakfast!!
They also think your the local tour guide too!!
We are think thank god Aus is further away cos at times wanted to strangle some ungrateful relatives!
You need to learn how to lie (oh, it was lovely having you, not!), grin with gritted teeth! Also become a master at swearing in a whisper so they cant hear you!
They are your relatives and just thank god they dont live next door!
Have fun
Gems
I only moved to Europe and I have every relative you can think of wanting free bed and breakfast!!
They also think your the local tour guide too!!
We are think thank god Aus is further away cos at times wanted to strangle some ungrateful relatives!
You need to learn how to lie (oh, it was lovely having you, not!), grin with gritted teeth! Also become a master at swearing in a whisper so they cant hear you!
They are your relatives and just thank god they dont live next door!
Have fun
Gems
I can understand what you mean everyone one at work says they will come over!!! Should open a B and B!!!
Gary
and Vikky
Apr 27th 2007, 11:23 pm
#4
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 7,834
Re: How do you cope with visitors?
I know everyone is different but how do you cope with visitors?
If the MIL visits, then I will pass her in the airport cause putting up with her for weeks horrifies me! She can walk through arrivals as I sit in departures.
Seriously though, I wouldn't want to babysit everyone that come over, we will still have to work and earn a living. What about the relatived with unruly kids or people who think they can eat all your food, break our computer and expect you to waite on them hand a foot.
Obviously, I can't wait for certain family members/friends to come over but people you hardly ever see might want cheap holidays etc.
Just wondered what experiences you lot have had and how you have dealt with it.
Mandy
If the MIL visits, then I will pass her in the airport
cause putting up with her for weeks horrifies me! She can walk through arrivals as I sit in departures.Seriously though, I wouldn't want to babysit everyone that come over, we will still have to work and earn a living. What about the relatived with unruly kids or people who think they can eat all your food, break our computer and expect you to waite on them hand a foot.
Obviously, I can't wait for certain family members/friends to come over but people you hardly ever see might want cheap holidays etc.
Just wondered what experiences you lot have had and how you have dealt with it.
Mandy
Just had SIL and her family over.........what a fab time we had ........we put a kitty in for food and drink, they hired their own car....everybody mucked in wi cookin cleanin etc.....we had a riot....did all the touristy stuff and found some fab places right on our doorstep.
Another couple of friends have asked to come and stay for a week in July as they are at a wedding in Adelaide and fancied a bit of heat....I told them they were more than welcome to come but we would be working so they would need to hire a car and do their own thing
Apr 27th 2007, 11:31 pm
#5
In New Yorshire
Joined: Feb 2001
Location: Onkapringa Hills,South Austalia
Posts: 300
Re: How do you cope with visitors?
Good luck!!
We have had loads of visitors over the years.
It puts a real strain on the household.
Great to see em' arrive ,but great to see em' go.
Might be that you have a good one visiting who helps around the house,does not drink all your beer and booze and does not say thanks at the end!!
We have had loads of visitors over the years.
It puts a real strain on the household.
Great to see em' arrive ,but great to see em' go.
Might be that you have a good one visiting who helps around the house,does not drink all your beer and booze and does not say thanks at the end!!
Apr 28th 2007, 12:34 am
#6
MODERATOR
Joined: Nov 2002
Location: Redneck Wonderland
Posts: 9,932
Re: How do you cope with visitors?
We've only had Deb's parents & sister come for a visit last year then her aunt and uncle this year. Both have been easy to entertain both mucked in with the household chores & shopping budget. The only nightmare part of the first visit was the twins from hell; two X 2.5 yr old girls who made a screaming tag team, one was quiet so the other would start...........:curse:
As we're self employed Deb & I took time out whenever we wanted or should I say whenever work allowed us to
Any more visitors are going to have to hire a car and make their own entertainment from Mon-Fri, I don't mind the company I do mind the loss of earnings
As we're self employed Deb & I took time out whenever we wanted or should I say whenever work allowed us to
Any more visitors are going to have to hire a car and make their own entertainment from Mon-Fri, I don't mind the company I do mind the loss of earnings
Apr 28th 2007, 12:44 am
#7
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Halls Head, WA
Posts: 4,146
Re: How do you cope with visitors?
we've struggled with this. My dad stayed a month and then my mum and stepdad for 5 weeks. Neither hired a car, neither set cooked a meal. Dad paid for the food but nothing else and, cos he was on his own, required constant entertaining. Mum has contributed $200 in all which doesn't go anywhere near it, but has mucked in with the chores.
From each visit we've learnt. Next lot will be charged $60 per person per week, have to get their own hire car and, if they stay for any longer than two weeks will be told to entertain themselves !!
Luckily our visitors this year have decided not to come back for a while - must be my cooking !!!
From each visit we've learnt. Next lot will be charged $60 per person per week, have to get their own hire car and, if they stay for any longer than two weeks will be told to entertain themselves !!
Luckily our visitors this year have decided not to come back for a while - must be my cooking !!!
Apr 28th 2007, 2:05 am
#8
Forum Regular
Joined: Jun 2004
Location: Adelaide, now Gold Coast
Posts: 126
Re: How do you cope with visitors?
I've had my rellies over and they were great. My dad and his partner came over, they didn't drive, but I pointed them in the direction of the nearest train station that could take them to most places. I had advised that it would be worth it to break the trip up and go to Sydney for a few days as coming all this way just to come to Adelaide and without visiting another state would be silly. So they did, they also booked their own trip to the Barossa valley and generally did their own thing. I just took them to the wildlife park and local seaside resort.
It helps to start as you mean to go on. When they arrived I showed them where the washer was and the cooker and told them that if there was any shopping they wanted, I would be happy to take them to the supermarket.
My dad payed for meals out and contributed to some of the shopping.
My brother came over on his own, also didn't drive, but made his way around Adelaide and even followed the cricket to Melbourne and Sydney. Perfect visitors.
However, the other half's brother won't be like that. He is supposed to be coming over to visit the end of this year maybe next year and as already stated that he hopes the fridge will be stacked with beers. My other half advised that because he drives he would be better to hire a car, his response was: "don't you trust me driving your car then?"
Needless to say I am dreading that visit, he will expect to fully entertained at all times and he'll want the other half to go out drinking all the while.
I have heard some right horror stories about my friends visitors, who don't pay a penny to anything, drink and eat them out of house and home and expect to be waited on hand and foot, even when they have been at home all day and my friends have had to work.
This may seem mean to some people, but after all you are giving them a free room and saving them loads of money to start with. Wages are tight as it is, why make yourself out of pocket for such thoughtless people?
Julie
It helps to start as you mean to go on. When they arrived I showed them where the washer was and the cooker and told them that if there was any shopping they wanted, I would be happy to take them to the supermarket.
My dad payed for meals out and contributed to some of the shopping.
My brother came over on his own, also didn't drive, but made his way around Adelaide and even followed the cricket to Melbourne and Sydney. Perfect visitors.
However, the other half's brother won't be like that. He is supposed to be coming over to visit the end of this year maybe next year and as already stated that he hopes the fridge will be stacked with beers. My other half advised that because he drives he would be better to hire a car, his response was: "don't you trust me driving your car then?"
Needless to say I am dreading that visit, he will expect to fully entertained at all times and he'll want the other half to go out drinking all the while.
I have heard some right horror stories about my friends visitors, who don't pay a penny to anything, drink and eat them out of house and home and expect to be waited on hand and foot, even when they have been at home all day and my friends have had to work.
This may seem mean to some people, but after all you are giving them a free room and saving them loads of money to start with. Wages are tight as it is, why make yourself out of pocket for such thoughtless people?
Julie
Apr 28th 2007, 2:21 am
#9
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jun 2005
Location: Ayr then Hampshire; Now Beaumaris, Melbourne
Posts: 1,034
Re: How do you cope with visitors?
We've been in Melbourne for almost 2 years and in that time have had 4 lots of friends (plus kids) from the UK, Inlaws twice, my sister once, and my mother 4 times. We've had someone in our house since the middle of Feb. My mother leaves in mid May and it will be a delight to have the house back to ourselves. Our local friends think we run a hotel.
It's great seeing people but there is an old saying that is oh so true. "Friends and family are like fish - they go off after 3 days". We try to encourage anyone who is staying to take themselves off for a couple of days at some stage so there is rarely more than 7-10 days with us. We all need a break.
It's also important to make sure that your life doesn't change too much. YOu need to keep up your normal social life, events, dinners, drinks etc.
It's great to see people. Even better some time to see the back of them !
It's great seeing people but there is an old saying that is oh so true. "Friends and family are like fish - they go off after 3 days". We try to encourage anyone who is staying to take themselves off for a couple of days at some stage so there is rarely more than 7-10 days with us. We all need a break.
It's also important to make sure that your life doesn't change too much. YOu need to keep up your normal social life, events, dinners, drinks etc.
It's great to see people. Even better some time to see the back of them !
Apr 28th 2007, 8:22 am
#10
Cheesy Member
Joined: Jul 2003
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 1,033
Re: How do you cope with visitors?
Every time I read a thread like this I realise how very lucky I am.
My parents have been out to stay 3 times and we find it hard getting them to come out here for long enough. They are both retired but Dad is busier than ever and always seems to have something or other booked that means they can only do three weeks.
They are out again in September and we are going to go on a trip to see some of outback Qld. Last time they were here we did Tas for 10 days and it was excellent.
We put them in the spare room downstairs, where they also have the rumpus room and their own bathroom. They come up and sort their own breakfast out - if I am at work and the boys are at school they wait till we have all gone for the day so they are not in the way. Even when I am at work and MrsD is left looking after them she reckons they are pretty low maintenance. If they want to go to town, MrsD drops them at a station mid morning and then they meet me to get a lift home. They always take us out to eat while they are here and never eat or drink us out of house and home. When we went to Tas last year, we all paid our own flights, MrsD and I hired the car and paid petrol, Dad paid all the hotels and we fought to pay the meals.
Perfect house guests and I cannot wait till they are out here next.
Cheers,
DagBoy
My parents have been out to stay 3 times and we find it hard getting them to come out here for long enough. They are both retired but Dad is busier than ever and always seems to have something or other booked that means they can only do three weeks.
They are out again in September and we are going to go on a trip to see some of outback Qld. Last time they were here we did Tas for 10 days and it was excellent.
We put them in the spare room downstairs, where they also have the rumpus room and their own bathroom. They come up and sort their own breakfast out - if I am at work and the boys are at school they wait till we have all gone for the day so they are not in the way. Even when I am at work and MrsD is left looking after them she reckons they are pretty low maintenance. If they want to go to town, MrsD drops them at a station mid morning and then they meet me to get a lift home. They always take us out to eat while they are here and never eat or drink us out of house and home. When we went to Tas last year, we all paid our own flights, MrsD and I hired the car and paid petrol, Dad paid all the hotels and we fought to pay the meals.
Perfect house guests and I cannot wait till they are out here next.
Cheers,
DagBoy
Apr 29th 2007, 2:05 am
#11
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Halls Head, WA
Posts: 4,146
Re: How do you cope with visitors?
Every time I read a thread like this I realise how very lucky I am.
My parents have been out to stay 3 times and we find it hard getting them to come out here for long enough. They are both retired but Dad is busier than ever and always seems to have something or other booked that means they can only do three weeks.
They are out again in September and we are going to go on a trip to see some of outback Qld. Last time they were here we did Tas for 10 days and it was excellent.
We put them in the spare room downstairs, where they also have the rumpus room and their own bathroom. They come up and sort their own breakfast out - if I am at work and the boys are at school they wait till we have all gone for the day so they are not in the way. Even when I am at work and MrsD is left looking after them she reckons they are pretty low maintenance. If they want to go to town, MrsD drops them at a station mid morning and then they meet me to get a lift home. They always take us out to eat while they are here and never eat or drink us out of house and home. When we went to Tas last year, we all paid our own flights, MrsD and I hired the car and paid petrol, Dad paid all the hotels and we fought to pay the meals.
Perfect house guests and I cannot wait till they are out here next.
Cheers,
DagBoy
My parents have been out to stay 3 times and we find it hard getting them to come out here for long enough. They are both retired but Dad is busier than ever and always seems to have something or other booked that means they can only do three weeks.
They are out again in September and we are going to go on a trip to see some of outback Qld. Last time they were here we did Tas for 10 days and it was excellent.
We put them in the spare room downstairs, where they also have the rumpus room and their own bathroom. They come up and sort their own breakfast out - if I am at work and the boys are at school they wait till we have all gone for the day so they are not in the way. Even when I am at work and MrsD is left looking after them she reckons they are pretty low maintenance. If they want to go to town, MrsD drops them at a station mid morning and then they meet me to get a lift home. They always take us out to eat while they are here and never eat or drink us out of house and home. When we went to Tas last year, we all paid our own flights, MrsD and I hired the car and paid petrol, Dad paid all the hotels and we fought to pay the meals.
Perfect house guests and I cannot wait till they are out here next.
Cheers,
DagBoy
Apr 29th 2007, 7:29 am
#12
here and staying
Joined: Jul 2005
Location: happy in the hills of Perth......
Posts: 4,351
Re: How do you cope with visitors?
I'm with Dag boy on this
I've had my mum stay 2 months,
Was a pleasure to have her here and we can't wait till next April when she comes back
She paid her way with the food, bought most of the booze (good ole mum, mind you she drank her share )
Put petrol in the car, paid entry fees for herself (we paid for ours)
Helped around the house etc etc etc
Got my best friend coming out in 27 days!!
She's got a lot to live up to
I've had my mum stay 2 months,
Was a pleasure to have her here and we can't wait till next April when she comes back
She paid her way with the food, bought most of the booze (good ole mum, mind you she drank her share
)Put petrol in the car, paid entry fees for herself (we paid for ours)
Helped around the house etc etc etc
Got my best friend coming out in 27 days!!
She's got a lot to live up to
Apr 29th 2007, 7:31 am
#13
Sunny Sydney
Joined: Aug 2005
Location: Sydney
Posts: 6,241
Re: How do you cope with visitors?
Got to say this is somethig I worry about too. My own parents will be fab, I know that. They've already said that they know it wouldn't be great to fly over for a month and stay the whole time with us as we have our own lives to lead etc. so their plan is to visit for maybe up to a week then take a trip elsewhere (Sydney and NZ is on their list so far) and then come back for another short stay before going home.
I think we'll adopt Biggy's kitty idea. If anyone's droping in just for a few days then we'll look after providing the meals, but any longer than that and we'll get a kitty going. I'm just worried that if we subsidise everyone elses holiday, we'll never get one for ourselves
.
I guess we'll just need to lay out the ground rules at the start to avoid causing problems.
Gill
I think we'll adopt Biggy's kitty idea. If anyone's droping in just for a few days then we'll look after providing the meals, but any longer than that and we'll get a kitty going. I'm just worried that if we subsidise everyone elses holiday, we'll never get one for ourselves
.I guess we'll just need to lay out the ground rules at the start to avoid causing problems.
Gill
Apr 29th 2007, 8:33 am
#14
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Feb 2005
Location: Mountain Creek,Sunshine Coast
Posts: 3,596
Re: How do you cope with visitors?
Got to say this is somethig I worry about too. My own parents will be fab, I know that. They've already said that they know it wouldn't be great to fly over for a month and stay the whole time with us as we have our own lives to lead etc. so their plan is to visit for maybe up to a week then take a trip elsewhere (Sydney and NZ is on their list so far) and then come back for another short stay before going home.
I think we'll adopt Biggy's kitty idea. If anyone's droping in just for a few days then we'll look after providing the meals, but any longer than that and we'll get a kitty going. I'm just worried that if we subsidise everyone elses holiday, we'll never get one for ourselves .
I guess we'll just need to lay out the ground rules at the start to avoid causing problems.
Gill
I think we'll adopt Biggy's kitty idea. If anyone's droping in just for a few days then we'll look after providing the meals, but any longer than that and we'll get a kitty going. I'm just worried that if we subsidise everyone elses holiday, we'll never get one for ourselves
.I guess we'll just need to lay out the ground rules at the start to avoid causing problems.
Gill
We went out in 2003 and having so many rellies in australia, we experienced different things..
house number 1 - they didnt let us hire a car and had to do the two trip thing, wanted to come with us to every sight seeing tour....that was a bit heavy going. they didnt want anything for shopping.
house number 2 - they threw their car keys at us and said it was ours for a few days until we could get a hire car, they also had a basket full of brochures for sight seeing tours we could use, but we had to put them back. Again no shopping allowed, but we did offer in every house and we gave the car back with a tank full of petrol.
house number 3 - they encouraged us to get a hirecar and we slotted quite well into their household, we did shopping for all of us and tried not too let them put their hands in their pocket.
house number 4 - again not allowed to lift a finger or pay for shopping, but again lent us the car which went back with a full tank of petrol.
house number 5 - slept on settees, and told us what sight seeing was in the area.
house number 6 - all crowded into an apartment, again no money for food required, but we left them something and again were on hand with the sight seeing information.
house number 7 - they were quite happy to let us come and go as we pleased.
The most comfortable of them all was being given the pack of sight seeing information, being given a free reign on the food, washer etc and being directed to the car hire firms as soon as possible. I think we will take this example. We also learnt early on not too take too long a shower. My family are time served having visitors, so it was nice to have that order and direction quickly to hand rather than feeling lost.
I say we would like to do this stuff, but we may find it doesnt work for us. We have already told people we may not be off work when they come over and they will need to do their own thing. Cant wait to see how it pans out in reality!!
Apr 29th 2007, 8:50 am
#15
Karoola!!!!!!
Joined: Feb 2007
Location: Karoola
Posts: 487
Re: How do you cope with visitors?
Good Post Cath,
I have stopped at peoples houses when visting but also tried to help out as much as possible. When we go out I've tried to pay for as much as possible also hiring a car or motobike is one thing I try to do before arriving or getting to know public transport links.
when visiting mother-in-law last year I went to shops and bought food and drinks. Tried to help out with cooking and also mowed the lawn which was on a ride on mower so that was more fun than work!!!!
I'm hoping friends and relatives visit but if they are coming will have to hire car as living countryside it will be hard for them to get around if they don't hire a car. Can always walk to nearest town 4Km away.
Gary and Vikky.
I have stopped at peoples houses when visting but also tried to help out as much as possible. When we go out I've tried to pay for as much as possible also hiring a car or motobike is one thing I try to do before arriving or getting to know public transport links.
when visiting mother-in-law last year I went to shops and bought food and drinks. Tried to help out with cooking and also mowed the lawn which was on a ride on mower so that was more fun than work!!!!
I'm hoping friends and relatives visit but if they are coming will have to hire car as living countryside it will be hard for them to get around if they don't hire a car. Can always walk to nearest town 4Km away.
Gary
and Vikky.