philip&claire

Hi......I was wondering how did your loved ones take the news of you emigrating to OZ??

My mother has been dreadfully nasty to my husband, although not directly to him but through me. She thinks we're depriving our children of their grandmother & a grandmother of her grandchildren.

I had the..."so what was so wrong with you childhood here in the UK" and "I must be such a terrible mother for you to want to leave the country"

It's gone from a relationship where she would spend 24/7 in our house, to now nothing at all, no phone calls, nothing.

Is what we're doing so wrong???

Claire
x

walla

Not like that!! Ours have been fine although a bit sad as take off time nears

philip&claire

I can't even speak to my mother about the proposed move, she just doesn't want to know, rest of the family have been great though.

walla

Don't worry she'll come round, she'll have to before you leave as I'm sure she wouldn't want to part on these terms. Flowers?

Good luck

Walla

Lori&Andy

Oh no that's awful, must be a bit of a strain on you all. Understandably she'd she's upset, she's just in shock by the sound of it i'm sure she'll come around to the idea eventually. A little sad for the kiddies though I'll bet they are missing her if she was around 24/7 beforehand.

My parents were very pleased cause we're following them over and Andy's were great about it they appreciate that if we don't give it a go we'll never know and are looking forward to having a place to stay if they want to come visit I think it's a great place for children to grow up and particiapte in sporting activities and stuff.

walaj

fortunately we have had much better response from both sets of parent, it helps that we are not as close to our parents as many other people are.

However you are not alone with a parent wanting to disown you, not talk about it, if you dare to mention it then floods of tears and of course taking the grandchildren etc

If you do a search (when it is up and working) you find many such posts.

You can try and involve here but being stern at the same time in that it is a well research joint decision not taken lightly, that you have to live your life, phone calls are not expensive and contact can still be maintained etc. Maybe not today, but give her time - what is your fathers reaction (I am assuming they are still together) could he help bring her around a bit?

Al H

We told my parents this week, and they couldn't have been happier for us. Yes they will miss their grandchildren (and us I hope!), but since they have been out to Oz a couple of times to visit my brother they would recommend it to anyone. Before my brother went out, my mum was a bit worried, but once she had been out there herself, then she was more than happy for him to go.

I guess at the end of the day you need to convince them that they will not change your mind, so they should try and make the most of it - my folks are and are currently planning trip number three to visit my bro. It is them who are being selfish, not you...

Hope all goes well

Alastair

little miss c

Hi My in-laws seemed ok at first, but as the time draws nearer, she has started getting upset when we talk about it. They are on holiday at the moment with our kids and we have to tell them that we will me going in September when they get back on Wednesday, I just hope she won't get too upset I know though she won't resort to not calling or keeping in touch and we've told them they are coming to visit after Christmas wether they like it or not

I'm sure you mum will come round soon
Little miss c

Handyandy180

Sorry to hear that.
Just to let you know we are in the same boat, My mother god bless her has been fantastic throughout even though she has been poorly (sadly no longer with us now). Where the mother in law is concearned though!!!!!
You would have thought i was an axe murderer!!! The problem is, she thinks that if she makes it uncomfortable for us then we will change our minds? How wrong can she be!!!! If anything it makes us even stronger with our resolve to do what we want. It's our adventure and what we want!!!! Alas although I don't think she will change her mind and wish us the luck that we will need or deserve. I do think she will understand especially if you keep her informed as to everything that is happening and get her involved a bit. She may not like it but will better understand. Good luck anyhow.
Regards Chris and Andrea

lucyb

I am very close to my Mum and we all live in the same village. Mum is always helping out with the kids, and I do feel terribly guilty taking their grandchildren away from them. But both Husband and I grew up overseas, so we jsut tell them they did the same thing to their parents.....that normally silences them! I hope things improve for you.
Lucy
xx

CON

My mum has been absolutely brilliant about the whole thing and she has already started planning her visit once we are settled and ready to put up with guests, hopefully within 2 years.

I think the world is getting ever smaller these days with the internet and cheaper airfares so it is more a case of "see you soon" rather than goodbye.

SteveBannister

This comes up so many times. Stick to what YOU want!

Also, read this thread. (There are many others if you search for them)

http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=244802


Steve.

sunny side up

i'm not a parent myself, but surely as a parent the happiness of your children comes first?

my parents find it very hard that i'm planning to move to perth, i see them at least 3 times a week as they live very close, but they have never, ever once said this to me.
from the moment i told them about my plans they've been so supportive - they will tell my sisters how much it hurts them, and my sisters tell me - but they try to help me as much as they can.
i've lived in australia with my parents for a few years when i was a kid, and my dad cant wait to come and see me - finally an excuse for him to go back!
the only time that one of them has showed me how hard it is on them was when i asked my mum to do a statement on our relationship. she said something along the lines of 'i'll help you with anything, but writing a statement on how happy you are with him, makes me feel like i'm sending you away'. sweet...

please do remember that your parents have lived their lives the way that they thought was best - of course they will do anything to make sure you dont get hurt, but they should let go...

good luck,

tanja

Meabel1

I am now also having the same trouble. When I told my parents they had discussed it behind my back with other family members saying that it's "another stupid idea they've got in their heads" and "they never go through with it!". I think my mum discussd it a little with me just to humour me.

Two weeks ago I told them we had our visas and had booked flights for 1 April (no, not a April fool!). They were both watchng TV at the time and neither of them acknowledged what I had said, and yes, they had definately heard me. This upset me quite a lot and I left shortly after.

Thinking they needed time for it to sink in I went back the following week and still not a single word was mentioned about it.

We have a six year old daughter too.

The in-laws and siblings have been great about it.

I know how upsetting it is when someone is like my parents and yours act like this, and hopefully things will work out for us both. Keep me informed how you go.....

Z

madsad

My hubbys parents have been weird about it all & choose not to discuss it at all!Father in law chooses to quiz me when we are both on our own! mother in law doesnt mention it unless its to grumble about how much we will hate it!
I thought they would have been the most understanding as they lived most of hubbys childhood abroad, but not to be.
Havent spoken to my own parents for over 4yrs, but did write them a letter saying of our plans & urging them to get in touch,but as yet they have not.
Its rotten, when you get some good news & your burstin to tell someone we cant even phone & tell our parents!
Thats just the way it is!
Parents eh.!
Donna.