How bad is this? (no humour)
Apr 6th 2004, 12:38 am
#61
Home and Happy
Joined: Dec 2002
Location: Keep true friends and puppets close, trust no-one else...
Posts: 93,853
Suffolkdiva,
Thanks for a very honest post - hope things work out for you in the UK. Well done for trying Oz, and telling us exactly why it didn't work for you,
All the best to the family,
Thanks for a very honest post - hope things work out for you in the UK. Well done for trying Oz, and telling us exactly why it didn't work for you,
All the best to the family,
Apr 6th 2004, 2:40 am
#62
Dutch expat/Aus citizen
Joined: Apr 2003
Location: South East, Perth (was Holland)
Posts: 5,789
Originally posted by suffolkdiva
We do not feel that we are going back with our tale between our legs - in fact quite the opposite. We go back extremely focused on what we really do want out of our lives, and what is important to us. We are glad we tried it as I think we would have always wondered what would have happened, and as the children are still young, it was an easy time to do this and we've had a great time and seen some pretty cool stuff.
We never left the UK because we hated it - we had a great lifestyle actually, but we needed a big change and we wanted to see if Aus suited us.
Melb never really was for us - it's a great place no doubt - but being a country girl, hitting a big city with ( gosh you'll all hate me now!!!!) loads of traffic and so big was a huge shock but the nature of Chris's job and an STNI visa meant more opportunities for work here.
Of course we had talked about this but didn't expect such bad news so soon in when we were facing all sorts of other problems. Also being away from family and friends made us realise how important they all are to us.
I too was certain I wouldn't be going back for at least 2 years!!! Take notice of people like Dotty, Hevs etc. You may not like what they say, but most of it is true and once you have lived here a while, their posts make a lot of sense.
Be cautious until you are absolutely sure it is for you, and have an escape route if needed. The cost of living here is about the same as the UK, some things more and some things less.
We do not feel that we are going back with our tale between our legs - in fact quite the opposite. We go back extremely focused on what we really do want out of our lives, and what is important to us. We are glad we tried it as I think we would have always wondered what would have happened, and as the children are still young, it was an easy time to do this and we've had a great time and seen some pretty cool stuff.
We never left the UK because we hated it - we had a great lifestyle actually, but we needed a big change and we wanted to see if Aus suited us.
Melb never really was for us - it's a great place no doubt - but being a country girl, hitting a big city with ( gosh you'll all hate me now!!!!) loads of traffic and so big was a huge shock but the nature of Chris's job and an STNI visa meant more opportunities for work here.
Of course we had talked about this but didn't expect such bad news so soon in when we were facing all sorts of other problems. Also being away from family and friends made us realise how important they all are to us.
I too was certain I wouldn't be going back for at least 2 years!!! Take notice of people like Dotty, Hevs etc. You may not like what they say, but most of it is true and once you have lived here a while, their posts make a lot of sense.
Be cautious until you are absolutely sure it is for you, and have an escape route if needed. The cost of living here is about the same as the UK, some things more and some things less.
and good luck to you back in the UK.I think posts like these are the most important on the forum.
I helps take rose tinted specs off. You only can see this when looking back though (including me).
Post like this keep reminding me about things like moving from the 'country' to a big city, and missing family.
Posts like these keep me saying: we might be back in a few years, we really can't say that we will stay there forever.
I hope posts like this make the dreamers (you don't know you are one till you look back a few months later) more realistic, with things like having a backup plan, enough money, jobs.
Pollyana, Sky: As bundy says, it maybe (is) a very personal thing, but it has been proven before that actually most people feel like that at some stage(homesickness is what it's called, but it means a lot of things..)
I think it is very important you do post about such things. I think they are the most important.
Once PP posted something about homesickness(see below), and I remember a lot of people who were in the same situation responded, all 'coming out of the woodwork'. There always may be a few horrible points, but I do believe that is a VERY small minority.
This forum should be mainly for you guys over there. You know that the difficult part is when you are over there (waiting for visa and selling house is nothing compared to it), and that's when you need the support of this board the most (because family and old friends and aussies can't understand).
The second function should be answering questions from 'the dreamers/wannabee'
Unfortunetly it now seems the other way round.
Still there are enough 'good' threads left:
this one
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showt...feeling+family
Exactly same subject as this one. Very good posts by everybody. Lots of people who come out of the woodwork.
(only a bit of a row between Dotty and PP, but I believe that's mainly misunderstanding each other, in the end they think just about the same...)
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showt...0&pagenumber=1
Wolfen with problems - lots of people helping/understanding/being in same position, one of two a bit annoying replies(bannister(who was trying shock treatment... )and megs(I think trying the same, and helping bit)
But they do make some valid points, points people need to read BEFORE coming out.
Later on on ahappychappy is a bit annoying, though sometimes has some good points, and in the end there are some good posts made!
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showt...feeling+family
PeteY+ lots of others with homesickness coming out of woodwork
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showt...feeling+family
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showt...feeling+family
A bit of slanging, but mostly good posts (at the end too)
You know, everybody is always talking about things turning into slanging matches, but on these threads, there aren't any major ones. Just one or two posts, for the rest: heaps of helpful understanding folks!!
(and if there is a slanging match, then it's usually not on the topic of that thread)So, that excuse is not to be used again!! Keep posting!!!!
Apr 6th 2004, 3:21 am
#63
Bitter and twisted
Joined: Dec 2003
Location: Upmarket
Posts: 17,503
Well done Simone
You have brought back some very useful threads.
Anyone planning to migrate should read these and take them very seriously.
A little reality will do no harm.
If people choose to ignore them they can't say they were not warned
Best wishes
G
You have brought back some very useful threads.
Anyone planning to migrate should read these and take them very seriously.
A little reality will do no harm.
If people choose to ignore them they can't say they were not warned
Best wishes
G
Apr 6th 2004, 5:40 am
#64
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Far away from canned Oz
Posts: 1,833
Originally posted by badgersmount
Well guys....
I am glad it is (so far) working out for me because if I admitted it was not working, I as 'Mr Positive' would never hear the last of it... :you'd all worry and think - if Badge can't make it noone can
Well guys....
I am glad it is (so far) working out for me because if I admitted it was not working, I as 'Mr Positive' would never hear the last of it... :you'd all worry and think - if Badge can't make it noone can
As has been said before, it is great that it has worked out for you (so far?...) However, what works for you does not necessarily work for others.
Suffolkdiva's post was very good - because it provided a summary of a personal experience - good and bad - in a calm, considered post.
Phrases like 'Stay successful, and you may weather anything?' mean what exactly?
Apr 6th 2004, 6:53 am
#65
I'm lovin' it
Joined: Feb 2003
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 1,525
Originally posted by badgersmount
Well guys....
- if Badge can't make it noone can...(!) all because wittingly or non-wittingly I have built myself some kind of 'reputation' on this forum.....(!)
BM
Well guys....
- if Badge can't make it noone can...(!) all because wittingly or non-wittingly I have built myself some kind of 'reputation' on this forum.....(!)
BM
Apr 6th 2004, 9:14 am
#66
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Feb 2002
Location: Dream life UK....
Posts: 2,912
Suffolk Diva. All the best to you and the family, like you say your time in OZ has made you focus on what is important, really important. Best wishes for the future
Apr 6th 2004, 12:54 pm
#67
Guest
Posts: n/a
Originally posted by MikeStanton
Strangely, that was not what I was thinking.
Strangely, that was not what I was thinking.
Phrases like 'Stay successful, and you may weather anything?' mean what exactly?
Anyhow, detracts from my main point I was making that many people don't want to stay, or more likely, just want to go back. It's NOT an issue. Now, if you did want to stay, (despite problems) then it might be a case of wanting it enough to do whatever you have to do .....making sacrifices. Not directed at anyone in particular.
If you don't want to stay then there's no point in trying to stay!
Badge
Last edited by badgersmount; Apr 6th 2004 at 1:01 pm.
Apr 6th 2004, 1:33 pm
#68
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jan 2003
Location: Perth, Jnr is back!
Posts: 1,286
All the luck in the world Suffolkdiva. Thanks for posting.
Apr 7th 2004, 3:06 am
#69
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jun 2003
Location: Mandurah WA
Posts: 1,395
Re: How bad is this? (no humour)
Originally posted by hevs
I've been reading the "realists" versus the "dreamers" thread (not what its title is, but basically thats what the topic boils down to) and i just thought you might like to know something. Two families from this forum who came overhere at the same (ish) time as us have left and gone home, the reasons why are basically jobs (lack off) and family illnesses etc which compound the problems of things "not working out"
Both of the families involved can't be bothered to do a thread because of the slagging off and criticising they will get from certain people on here, they also don't feel up to the hassle of defending themselves at this stressful time.
I think its sad that we all start off with such burning ambitions, (some might call them dreams) and heartfelt aspirations and sheer exileration of what lies ahead. We all start off as a great group, supporting and encouraging one another. But then things seem to go sour to the point of not wanting to post some very real thoughts and problems due to the "stop winging and give us a go" bunch, or the negative "we told you it was crap and what did you expect" bunch.
I just think its tradgic that a place that starts off as such a fantastic help when things are rosy turns so intimidating when people hit real problems and could do with the support
Don't know what the answer is, but its a shame
Now could someone pass me a ladder so i can get my short ass off this soap box. Ta
I've been reading the "realists" versus the "dreamers" thread (not what its title is, but basically thats what the topic boils down to) and i just thought you might like to know something. Two families from this forum who came overhere at the same (ish) time as us have left and gone home, the reasons why are basically jobs (lack off) and family illnesses etc which compound the problems of things "not working out"
Both of the families involved can't be bothered to do a thread because of the slagging off and criticising they will get from certain people on here, they also don't feel up to the hassle of defending themselves at this stressful time.
I think its sad that we all start off with such burning ambitions, (some might call them dreams) and heartfelt aspirations and sheer exileration of what lies ahead. We all start off as a great group, supporting and encouraging one another. But then things seem to go sour to the point of not wanting to post some very real thoughts and problems due to the "stop winging and give us a go" bunch, or the negative "we told you it was crap and what did you expect" bunch.
I just think its tradgic that a place that starts off as such a fantastic help when things are rosy turns so intimidating when people hit real problems and could do with the support
Don't know what the answer is, but its a shame
Now could someone pass me a ladder so i can get my short ass off this soap box. Ta
Had to repy to this one.
As you know, I posted on here very frequently at one time, but very rarely bother now. Still browswe now and again, just don't reply.
Whisky
Apr 7th 2004, 8:20 am
#70
I'm lovin' it
Joined: Feb 2003
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 1,525
Re: How bad is this? (no humour)
Originally posted by whisky
Very well put Hevs.
Had to repy to this one.
As you know, I posted on here very frequently at one time, but very rarely bother now. Still browswe now and again, just don't reply.
Whisky
Very well put Hevs.
Had to repy to this one.
As you know, I posted on here very frequently at one time, but very rarely bother now. Still browswe now and again, just don't reply.
Whisky
Apr 7th 2004, 10:39 am
#71
Keeping Busy
Joined: Feb 2004
Location: East of Eden?
Posts: 1,215
"We go back extremely focused on what we really do want out of our lives, and what is important to us."
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Good luck & thanks for taking the trouble and having the guts to post.
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Good luck & thanks for taking the trouble and having the guts to post.
Apr 7th 2004, 10:50 am
#72
High in the Dandenongs
Thread Starter
Joined: Apr 2003
Location: Listening to Puffing Billy
Posts: 9,183
love to you all Helen if i don't catch you later have a safe journey.
xxxxxx
xxxxxx
Apr 7th 2004, 11:43 am
#73
I like kittens.
Joined: Oct 2003
Location: In my own little world
Posts: 1,457
Originally posted by badgersmount
Now, if you did want to stay, (despite problems) then it might be a case of wanting it enough to do whatever you have to do .....making sacrifices.
Now, if you did want to stay, (despite problems) then it might be a case of wanting it enough to do whatever you have to do .....making sacrifices.
I've just been told that I didn't get the job I was after (my job, but on a permanent basis, rather than a fixed term contract. It went to an Aussie I hired a few months back!) So, that means that I have five months to get something else organised before my present 457 visa runs out.
This being the case, we've gone to "Plan B", with Mrs DUP being the primary applicant. However, with the new 120 point requirement, and her being in a 50 point job category, that means regional visas. That's not a problem to us, as we intended to live regionally, anyway. However, it means a bit of a scrabble for jobs / income.
We also have a couple of other possible methods of getting PR, so we'll work on those, too.
Going back to the UK is not an option to us. We burned all bridges when we left. For those who DO decide to go back, good luck. I think life's far too short to stay somewhere which doesn't suit you, for whatever reason. And if anyone wants to 'boo, hiss' at you, then let's see THEM try it. The critics are usually those who've not yet made the move themselves, and have NO idea how stressful it all is. Anyway, no-one EVER erected a statue for a critic. It's the one who get out and DO that get the statues.
Apr 7th 2004, 11:43 am
#74
Forum Regular
Joined: Jan 2004
Location: England
Posts: 56
Re: How bad is this? (no humour)
Originally posted by hevs
I've been reading the "realists" versus the "dreamers" thread
I've been reading the "realists" versus the "dreamers" thread
Apr 7th 2004, 11:49 am
#75
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Far away from canned Oz
Posts: 1,833
Originally posted by downunderpom
This being the case, we've gone to "Plan B", with Mrs DUP being the primary applicant. However, with the new 120 point requirement, and her being in a 50 point job category, that means regional visas. That's not a problem to us, as we intended to live regionally, anyway. However, it means a bit of a scrabble for jobs / income.
We also have a couple of other possible methods of getting PR, so we'll work on those, too.
Anyway, no-one EVER erected a statue for a critic. It's the one who get out and DO that get the statues.
This being the case, we've gone to "Plan B", with Mrs DUP being the primary applicant. However, with the new 120 point requirement, and her being in a 50 point job category, that means regional visas. That's not a problem to us, as we intended to live regionally, anyway. However, it means a bit of a scrabble for jobs / income.
We also have a couple of other possible methods of getting PR, so we'll work on those, too.
Anyway, no-one EVER erected a statue for a critic. It's the one who get out and DO that get the statues.
Statue to a critic? There are statues of Mark Twain and he was a critic (and writer...)
What did the Romans ever do for us...
