How bad is this? (no humour)
Apr 5th 2004, 9:41 pm
#46
Home and Happy
Joined: Dec 2002
Location: Keep true friends and puppets close, trust no-one else...
Posts: 93,853
Specially for Pollster & Sky 
You're not alone, there are people out here who know exactly how you feel.
You're not alone, there are people out here who know exactly how you feel.
Apr 5th 2004, 9:45 pm
#47
She's a bird, you know
Joined: Jul 2003
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 7,655
How much of a difference do you think it makes if you go out with an aussie/kiwi other half? I'm just wondering if having a support network out there already makes much of a difference. I can see why it would be hard to live in Oz if you've never even visited (I agree with dotty - got to visit first).
Mr Bundy and I probably have more friends out there than we do here, and then there's Mr B's family so I'm hoping that will help.
Mr Bundy and I probably have more friends out there than we do here, and then there's Mr B's family so I'm hoping that will help.
Apr 5th 2004, 10:11 pm
#48
Home and Happy
Joined: Dec 2002
Location: Keep true friends and puppets close, trust no-one else...
Posts: 93,853
Makes a difference Bundy, cos you know there are people here to ask when you need to know stuff, and because it means you do have "family" around you. However, it can also have the opposite effect - you see them all together at Christmas or birthdays, and it can make you a teensy bit jealous. Also, because the new family don't know what migration feels like, they tend to forget what you may be feeling when they are talking about "being apart for a few weeks". I heard a comment about someone "feeling a bit lonely at not seeing family for a month or so" and was told I should be more understanding about this. I really had to bite my tongue to avoid saying that I hadn't seen MY family for a "month or so" either, and I have no idea when I will see them again.
A lot of it though does depend on how well you get on with your new rellies, and whether you actually have things in common and can become good friends as well as being family.
A lot of it though does depend on how well you get on with your new rellies, and whether you actually have things in common and can become good friends as well as being family.
Apr 5th 2004, 10:32 pm
#49
Banned
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 3,467
Originally posted by Pollyana
Specially for Pollster & Sky
You're not alone, there are people out here who know exactly how you feel.
Specially for Pollster & Sky
You're not alone, there are people out here who know exactly how you feel.
Apr 5th 2004, 10:43 pm
#50
Home and Happy
Joined: Dec 2002
Location: Keep true friends and puppets close, trust no-one else...
Posts: 93,853
Sky, I couldn't have put it better myself. Its just that feeling of being vulnerable and alone, and prey to every wild emotion going. NOTHING prepares you for the feeling, it just hits you, but like you, I don't want to depress people or dampen their dreams because it is a very personal thing, and I'm sure we'll get through it.
I also remember reading on a post somewhere ages ago, where someone said - the first 6 months feel like a holiday, and then it hits you, and the next 6 months are tough. I shall cling to that thought and hang on till I get to the end of the 6 months.......
Support from the forum is great though....especially the one lovely person who has just mailed me some Thorntons!!! Thanks you soooooo much
I also remember reading on a post somewhere ages ago, where someone said - the first 6 months feel like a holiday, and then it hits you, and the next 6 months are tough. I shall cling to that thought and hang on till I get to the end of the 6 months.......
Support from the forum is great though....especially the one lovely person who has just mailed me some Thorntons!!! Thanks you soooooo much
Apr 5th 2004, 10:45 pm
#51
She's a bird, you know
Joined: Jul 2003
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 7,655
Originally posted by Pollyana
Makes a difference Bundy, cos you know there are people here to ask when you need to know stuff, and because it means you do have "family" around you. However, it can also have the opposite effect - you see them all together at Christmas or birthdays, and it can make you a teensy bit jealous. Also, because the new family don't know what migration feels like, they tend to forget what you may be feeling when they are talking about "being apart for a few weeks". I heard a comment about someone "feeling a bit lonely at not seeing family for a month or so" and was told I should be more understanding about this. I really had to bite my tongue to avoid saying that I hadn't seen MY family for a "month or so" either, and I have no idea when I will see them again.
A lot of it though does depend on how well you get on with your new rellies, and whether you actually have things in common and can become good friends as well as being family.
Makes a difference Bundy, cos you know there are people here to ask when you need to know stuff, and because it means you do have "family" around you. However, it can also have the opposite effect - you see them all together at Christmas or birthdays, and it can make you a teensy bit jealous. Also, because the new family don't know what migration feels like, they tend to forget what you may be feeling when they are talking about "being apart for a few weeks". I heard a comment about someone "feeling a bit lonely at not seeing family for a month or so" and was told I should be more understanding about this. I really had to bite my tongue to avoid saying that I hadn't seen MY family for a "month or so" either, and I have no idea when I will see them again.
A lot of it though does depend on how well you get on with your new rellies, and whether you actually have things in common and can become good friends as well as being family.
Hmmm...as I thought.
Mr Bundy doesn't have a great relationship with his dad for many reasons mainly to do with his step-mother who is the very spawn of satan (chucked Mr B out of home when he was 16, threw away everything to do with his mum, who had died when he was ( etc etc). Consequently I don't get on with them all that well because I see how they upset Mr B. But Mr B's has many aunts and uncles with whom he is very close (thus so am I), and one set who pretty much brought him up. Plus he is from a family with a long-running tradition of the blokes marrying poms (good to see he is sticking to tradition), so a lot of his rellies migrated to Oz at some stage, which helps.
I can see that the old jealousy thing could well kick in - hadn't thought of that.
I suppose when you're in an aussie/pom relationship someone is always going to have to live away from their family, so it just depends where seems best.
Apr 5th 2004, 10:47 pm
#52
She's a bird, you know
Joined: Jul 2003
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 7,655
Originally posted by Pollyana
Sky, I couldn't have put it better myself. Its just that feeling of being vulnerable and alone, and prey to every wild emotion going. NOTHING prepares you for the feeling, it just hits you, but like you, I don't want to depress people or dampen their dreams because it is a very personal thing, and I'm sure we'll get through it.
I also remember reading on a post somewhere ages ago, where someone said - the first 6 months feel like a holiday, and then it hits you, and the next 6 months are tough. I shall cling to that thought and hang on till I get to the end of the 6 months.......
Support from the forum is great though....especially the one lovely person who has just mailed me some Thorntons!!! Thanks you soooooo much
Sky, I couldn't have put it better myself. Its just that feeling of being vulnerable and alone, and prey to every wild emotion going. NOTHING prepares you for the feeling, it just hits you, but like you, I don't want to depress people or dampen their dreams because it is a very personal thing, and I'm sure we'll get through it.
I also remember reading on a post somewhere ages ago, where someone said - the first 6 months feel like a holiday, and then it hits you, and the next 6 months are tough. I shall cling to that thought and hang on till I get to the end of the 6 months.......
Support from the forum is great though....especially the one lovely person who has just mailed me some Thorntons!!! Thanks you soooooo much
But I think it's really important to post about the negative side of things, because we all need to know. It is a personal thing, but what you describe seems to be happening to others too, so maybe it's more common than you think, and therefore important to know about in advance...
Apr 5th 2004, 10:50 pm
#53
Account Closed
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,384
Pollster and Sky,
I can relate to what both of you have said too, its hard to articulate really, I love it here and we've been very lucky since arriving but there are still moments when I feel isolated and lonely and yearn for my old friends.
For me the people I've met through the forum have alleviated this a lot and I feel it would have been a lot tougher without that support and contact.
I can understand why people decide to return, even the best researched plans need a bit of good luck to ease them on their way.
Michaela
I can relate to what both of you have said too, its hard to articulate really, I love it here and we've been very lucky since arriving but there are still moments when I feel isolated and lonely and yearn for my old friends.
For me the people I've met through the forum have alleviated this a lot and I feel it would have been a lot tougher without that support and contact.
I can understand why people decide to return, even the best researched plans need a bit of good luck to ease them on their way.
Michaela
Apr 5th 2004, 10:57 pm
#54
Forum Regular
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 198
Thanks Hevs for this post.
We are one of the family's that Hevs is referring to and we fly out of Melb tomorrow evening. We do not feel that we are going back with our tale between our legs - in fact quite the opposite. We go back extremely focused on what we really do want out of our lives, and what is important to us. We are glad we tried it as I think we would have always wondered what would have happened, and as the children are still young, it was an easy time to do this and we've had a great time and seen some pretty cool stuff.
We never left the UK because we hated it - we had a great lifestyle actually, but we needed a big change and we wanted to see if Aus suited us. And yes, I couldn't be bothered to post about our return and see the post get into a slagging match. Everybodys reasons for coming to Aus or returning will be different and personal to them at their time of life and will depend on what and where they left and where they are headed back too.
Melb never really was for us - it's a great place no doubt - but being a country girl, hitting a big city with ( gosh you'll all hate me now!!!!) loads of traffic and so big was a huge shock but the nature of Chris's job and an STNI visa meant more opportunities for work here.
One of our main reasons for going back is the return of my Dad's cancer. Being away, you do realise how far away and how expensive going back to the Uk is. Of course we had talked about this but didn't expect such bad news so soon in when we were facing all sorts of other problems. Also being away from family and friends made us realise how important they all are to us. Having a big house to compensate made me feel quite hollow,
Work here even for proffessionals is difficult to come by. Hubby had a couple of contracts which he really had to fight to get,as one recruitment consultant told us the aussie's can be very parochial and not willing to take risks. He has got a job to go in the Uk no problem. It is very stressful being here without work for very long, and we were lucky enough to have lots of savings if we needed to dip into them.
We faced other problems, like bullying of the kids, which i no way blame on Aus as it could happen anywhere in the world but when you are facing all kinds of other issues, it doesn't help.
It sounds from all that as though we have had an awful time! We have also had a great time exploring a new country, seeing new things etc and we are now truly out of our ruts and will be going back to a lovely area to live. I am signed up for a PGCE course to start in Sept, something I tried to achieve here, but which would have been difficult and very costly.
I would say to everybody in all your stages of applying Good Luck!
You do need to come and experience it for yourselves. I too was certain I wouldn't be going back for at least 2 years!!! Take notice of people like Dotty, Hevs etc. You may not like what they say, but most of it is true and once you have lived here a while, their posts make a lot of sense. We left most of money in the UK, so will not be got by 2 sets of exchange rates, and we didn't buy anything too flash to minimise loss if we did go back. Be cautious until you are absolutely sure it is for you, and have an escape route if needed. The cost of living here is about the same as the UK, some things more and some things less.
We will miss Aus in a few ways. The beaches are probably the best I have ever seen in the world, the wildlife is fantastic and the scenery great. If that was enough to live on then we would all be sorted but Aus has as many if different problems to the UK.
I was excited to come here but I feel just as excited to be coming home. Having lived and worked in the States and Africa, I would say Aus has been the hardest for us as a family but it has really made us be able to go back knowing what we want. Thanks to all the friends I made on here - some I met, some just cyber friends.
May log in sometimes to see what's doing, and I expect the same arguments will be discussed again and again!!!!
We are one of the family's that Hevs is referring to and we fly out of Melb tomorrow evening. We do not feel that we are going back with our tale between our legs - in fact quite the opposite. We go back extremely focused on what we really do want out of our lives, and what is important to us. We are glad we tried it as I think we would have always wondered what would have happened, and as the children are still young, it was an easy time to do this and we've had a great time and seen some pretty cool stuff.
We never left the UK because we hated it - we had a great lifestyle actually, but we needed a big change and we wanted to see if Aus suited us. And yes, I couldn't be bothered to post about our return and see the post get into a slagging match. Everybodys reasons for coming to Aus or returning will be different and personal to them at their time of life and will depend on what and where they left and where they are headed back too.
Melb never really was for us - it's a great place no doubt - but being a country girl, hitting a big city with ( gosh you'll all hate me now!!!!) loads of traffic and so big was a huge shock but the nature of Chris's job and an STNI visa meant more opportunities for work here.
One of our main reasons for going back is the return of my Dad's cancer. Being away, you do realise how far away and how expensive going back to the Uk is. Of course we had talked about this but didn't expect such bad news so soon in when we were facing all sorts of other problems. Also being away from family and friends made us realise how important they all are to us. Having a big house to compensate made me feel quite hollow,
Work here even for proffessionals is difficult to come by. Hubby had a couple of contracts which he really had to fight to get,as one recruitment consultant told us the aussie's can be very parochial and not willing to take risks. He has got a job to go in the Uk no problem. It is very stressful being here without work for very long, and we were lucky enough to have lots of savings if we needed to dip into them.
We faced other problems, like bullying of the kids, which i no way blame on Aus as it could happen anywhere in the world but when you are facing all kinds of other issues, it doesn't help.
It sounds from all that as though we have had an awful time! We have also had a great time exploring a new country, seeing new things etc and we are now truly out of our ruts and will be going back to a lovely area to live. I am signed up for a PGCE course to start in Sept, something I tried to achieve here, but which would have been difficult and very costly.
I would say to everybody in all your stages of applying Good Luck!
You do need to come and experience it for yourselves. I too was certain I wouldn't be going back for at least 2 years!!! Take notice of people like Dotty, Hevs etc. You may not like what they say, but most of it is true and once you have lived here a while, their posts make a lot of sense. We left most of money in the UK, so will not be got by 2 sets of exchange rates, and we didn't buy anything too flash to minimise loss if we did go back. Be cautious until you are absolutely sure it is for you, and have an escape route if needed. The cost of living here is about the same as the UK, some things more and some things less.
We will miss Aus in a few ways. The beaches are probably the best I have ever seen in the world, the wildlife is fantastic and the scenery great. If that was enough to live on then we would all be sorted but Aus has as many if different problems to the UK.
I was excited to come here but I feel just as excited to be coming home. Having lived and worked in the States and Africa, I would say Aus has been the hardest for us as a family but it has really made us be able to go back knowing what we want. Thanks to all the friends I made on here - some I met, some just cyber friends.
May log in sometimes to see what's doing, and I expect the same arguments will be discussed again and again!!!!
Apr 5th 2004, 11:02 pm
#55
Account Closed
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,384
Good luck for your return Suffolkdiva. Hope it all goes well for your family.
Michaela
Michaela
Apr 5th 2004, 11:03 pm
#56
She's a bird, you know
Joined: Jul 2003
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 7,655
Originally posted by suffolkdiva
Thanks Hevs for this post.
We are one of the family's that Hevs is referring to and we fly out of Melb tomorrow evening. We do not feel that we are going back with our tale between our legs - in fact quite the opposite. We go back extremely focused on what we really do want out of our lives, and what is important to us. We are glad we tried it as I think we would have always wondered what would have happened, and as the children are still young, it was an easy time to do this and we've had a great time and seen some pretty cool stuff.
We never left the UK because we hated it - we had a great lifestyle actually, but we needed a big change and we wanted to see if Aus suited us. And yes, I couldn't be bothered to post about our return and see the post get into a slagging match. Everybodys reasons for coming to Aus or returning will be different and personal to them at their time of life and will depend on what and where they left and where they are headed back too.
Melb never really was for us - it's a great place no doubt - but being a country girl, hitting a big city with ( gosh you'll all hate me now!!!!) loads of traffic and so big was a huge shock but the nature of Chris's job and an STNI visa meant more opportunities for work here.
One of our main reasons for going back is the return of my Dad's cancer. Being away, you do realise how far away and how expensive going back to the Uk is. Of course we had talked about this but didn't expect such bad news so soon in when we were facing all sorts of other problems. Also being away from family and friends made us realise how important they all are to us. Having a big house to compensate made me feel quite hollow,
Work here even for proffessionals is difficult to come by. Hubby had a couple of contracts which he really had to fight to get,as one recruitment consultant told us the aussie's can be very parochial and not willing to take risks. He has got a job to go in the Uk no problem. It is very stressful being here without work for very long, and we were lucky enough to have lots of savings if we needed to dip into them.
We faced other problems, like bullying of the kids, which i no way blame on Aus as it could happen anywhere in the world but when you are facing all kinds of other issues, it doesn't help.
It sounds from all that as though we have had an awful time! We have also had a great time exploring a new country, seeing new things etc and we are now truly out of our ruts and will be going back to a lovely area to live. I am signed up for a PGCE course to start in Sept, something I tried to achieve here, but which would have been difficult and very costly.
I would say to everybody in all your stages of applying Good Luck!
You do need to come and experience it for yourselves. I too was certain I wouldn't be going back for at least 2 years!!! Take notice of people like Dotty, Hevs etc. You may not like what they say, but most of it is true and once you have lived here a while, their posts make a lot of sense. We left most of money in the UK, so will not be got by 2 sets of exchange rates, and we didn't buy anything too flash to minimise loss if we did go back. Be cautious until you are absolutely sure it is for you, and have an escape route if needed. The cost of living here is about the same as the UK, some things more and some things less.
We will miss Aus in a few ways. The beaches are probably the best I have ever seen in the world, the wildlife is fantastic and the scenery great. If that was enough to live on then we would all be sorted but Aus has as many if different problems to the UK.
I was excited to come here but I feel just as excited to be coming home. Having lived and worked in the States and Africa, I would say Aus has been the hardest for us as a family but it has really made us be able to go back knowing what we want. Thanks to all the friends I made on here - some I met, some just cyber friends.
May log in sometimes to see what's doing, and I expect the same arguments will be discussed again and again!!!!
Thanks Hevs for this post.
We are one of the family's that Hevs is referring to and we fly out of Melb tomorrow evening. We do not feel that we are going back with our tale between our legs - in fact quite the opposite. We go back extremely focused on what we really do want out of our lives, and what is important to us. We are glad we tried it as I think we would have always wondered what would have happened, and as the children are still young, it was an easy time to do this and we've had a great time and seen some pretty cool stuff.
We never left the UK because we hated it - we had a great lifestyle actually, but we needed a big change and we wanted to see if Aus suited us. And yes, I couldn't be bothered to post about our return and see the post get into a slagging match. Everybodys reasons for coming to Aus or returning will be different and personal to them at their time of life and will depend on what and where they left and where they are headed back too.
Melb never really was for us - it's a great place no doubt - but being a country girl, hitting a big city with ( gosh you'll all hate me now!!!!) loads of traffic and so big was a huge shock but the nature of Chris's job and an STNI visa meant more opportunities for work here.
One of our main reasons for going back is the return of my Dad's cancer. Being away, you do realise how far away and how expensive going back to the Uk is. Of course we had talked about this but didn't expect such bad news so soon in when we were facing all sorts of other problems. Also being away from family and friends made us realise how important they all are to us. Having a big house to compensate made me feel quite hollow,
Work here even for proffessionals is difficult to come by. Hubby had a couple of contracts which he really had to fight to get,as one recruitment consultant told us the aussie's can be very parochial and not willing to take risks. He has got a job to go in the Uk no problem. It is very stressful being here without work for very long, and we were lucky enough to have lots of savings if we needed to dip into them.
We faced other problems, like bullying of the kids, which i no way blame on Aus as it could happen anywhere in the world but when you are facing all kinds of other issues, it doesn't help.
It sounds from all that as though we have had an awful time! We have also had a great time exploring a new country, seeing new things etc and we are now truly out of our ruts and will be going back to a lovely area to live. I am signed up for a PGCE course to start in Sept, something I tried to achieve here, but which would have been difficult and very costly.
I would say to everybody in all your stages of applying Good Luck!
You do need to come and experience it for yourselves. I too was certain I wouldn't be going back for at least 2 years!!! Take notice of people like Dotty, Hevs etc. You may not like what they say, but most of it is true and once you have lived here a while, their posts make a lot of sense. We left most of money in the UK, so will not be got by 2 sets of exchange rates, and we didn't buy anything too flash to minimise loss if we did go back. Be cautious until you are absolutely sure it is for you, and have an escape route if needed. The cost of living here is about the same as the UK, some things more and some things less.
We will miss Aus in a few ways. The beaches are probably the best I have ever seen in the world, the wildlife is fantastic and the scenery great. If that was enough to live on then we would all be sorted but Aus has as many if different problems to the UK.
I was excited to come here but I feel just as excited to be coming home. Having lived and worked in the States and Africa, I would say Aus has been the hardest for us as a family but it has really made us be able to go back knowing what we want. Thanks to all the friends I made on here - some I met, some just cyber friends.
May log in sometimes to see what's doing, and I expect the same arguments will be discussed again and again!!!!
I think the issues you raise are the things that those of us still here in the UK think about, but push to the backs of our minds in the hope that it will all go away, and it's good to bring those to the fore sometimes.
You have tried the life in Oz, you know what will and will not work for you and that's worthy of a lot of respect. It's always harder to admit that things aren't right and move onto the next thing.
I really hope that things work out for you back in the UK, that your time in Oz has given you a good perspective on life and that your whole family prospers back here.
Good luck to you all!
Apr 5th 2004, 11:08 pm
#57
BE Forum Addict
Joined: May 2003
Location: GC
Posts: 3,353
Suffolk Diva
Thanks for taking the time to post your story. Things must have been hard for you and it must be just as hard to make the decision to go back.
I hope that you settle down quickly in the UK and would like to wish you the best of luck for the future.
We have yet to go to Oz, but we have visited twice. I am looking at it is a life adventure - if we are not happy we will come back.
Good luck Suffolk Diva.
Kind regards
Debs
Thanks for taking the time to post your story. Things must have been hard for you and it must be just as hard to make the decision to go back.
I hope that you settle down quickly in the UK and would like to wish you the best of luck for the future.
We have yet to go to Oz, but we have visited twice. I am looking at it is a life adventure - if we are not happy we will come back.
Good luck Suffolk Diva.
Kind regards
Debs
Originally posted by suffolkdiva
Thanks Hevs for this post.
We are one of the family's that Hevs is referring to and we fly out of Melb tomorrow evening. We do not feel that we are going back with our tale between our legs - in fact quite the opposite. We go back extremely focused on what we really do want out of our lives, and what is important to us. We are glad we tried it as I think we would have always wondered what would have happened, and as the children are still young, it was an easy time to do this and we've had a great time and seen some pretty cool stuff.
We never left the UK because we hated it - we had a great lifestyle actually, but we needed a big change and we wanted to see if Aus suited us. And yes, I couldn't be bothered to post about our return and see the post get into a slagging match. Everybodys reasons for coming to Aus or returning will be different and personal to them at their time of life and will depend on what and where they left and where they are headed back too.
Melb never really was for us - it's a great place no doubt - but being a country girl, hitting a big city with ( gosh you'll all hate me now!!!!) loads of traffic and so big was a huge shock but the nature of Chris's job and an STNI visa meant more opportunities for work here.
One of our main reasons for going back is the return of my Dad's cancer. Being away, you do realise how far away and how expensive going back to the Uk is. Of course we had talked about this but didn't expect such bad news so soon in when we were facing all sorts of other problems. Also being away from family and friends made us realise how important they all are to us. Having a big house to compensate made me feel quite hollow,
Work here even for proffessionals is difficult to come by. Hubby had a couple of contracts which he really had to fight to get,as one recruitment consultant told us the aussie's can be very parochial and not willing to take risks. He has got a job to go in the Uk no problem. It is very stressful being here without work for very long, and we were lucky enough to have lots of savings if we needed to dip into them.
We faced other problems, like bullying of the kids, which i no way blame on Aus as it could happen anywhere in the world but when you are facing all kinds of other issues, it doesn't help.
It sounds from all that as though we have had an awful time! We have also had a great time exploring a new country, seeing new things etc and we are now truly out of our ruts and will be going back to a lovely area to live. I am signed up for a PGCE course to start in Sept, something I tried to achieve here, but which would have been difficult and very costly.
I would say to everybody in all your stages of applying Good Luck!
You do need to come and experience it for yourselves. I too was certain I wouldn't be going back for at least 2 years!!! Take notice of people like Dotty, Hevs etc. You may not like what they say, but most of it is true and once you have lived here a while, their posts make a lot of sense. We left most of money in the UK, so will not be got by 2 sets of exchange rates, and we didn't buy anything too flash to minimise loss if we did go back. Be cautious until you are absolutely sure it is for you, and have an escape route if needed. The cost of living here is about the same as the UK, some things more and some things less.
We will miss Aus in a few ways. The beaches are probably the best I have ever seen in the world, the wildlife is fantastic and the scenery great. If that was enough to live on then we would all be sorted but Aus has as many if different problems to the UK.
I was excited to come here but I feel just as excited to be coming home. Having lived and worked in the States and Africa, I would say Aus has been the hardest for us as a family but it has really made us be able to go back knowing what we want. Thanks to all the friends I made on here - some I met, some just cyber friends.
May log in sometimes to see what's doing, and I expect the same arguments will be discussed again and again!!!!
Thanks Hevs for this post.
We are one of the family's that Hevs is referring to and we fly out of Melb tomorrow evening. We do not feel that we are going back with our tale between our legs - in fact quite the opposite. We go back extremely focused on what we really do want out of our lives, and what is important to us. We are glad we tried it as I think we would have always wondered what would have happened, and as the children are still young, it was an easy time to do this and we've had a great time and seen some pretty cool stuff.
We never left the UK because we hated it - we had a great lifestyle actually, but we needed a big change and we wanted to see if Aus suited us. And yes, I couldn't be bothered to post about our return and see the post get into a slagging match. Everybodys reasons for coming to Aus or returning will be different and personal to them at their time of life and will depend on what and where they left and where they are headed back too.
Melb never really was for us - it's a great place no doubt - but being a country girl, hitting a big city with ( gosh you'll all hate me now!!!!) loads of traffic and so big was a huge shock but the nature of Chris's job and an STNI visa meant more opportunities for work here.
One of our main reasons for going back is the return of my Dad's cancer. Being away, you do realise how far away and how expensive going back to the Uk is. Of course we had talked about this but didn't expect such bad news so soon in when we were facing all sorts of other problems. Also being away from family and friends made us realise how important they all are to us. Having a big house to compensate made me feel quite hollow,
Work here even for proffessionals is difficult to come by. Hubby had a couple of contracts which he really had to fight to get,as one recruitment consultant told us the aussie's can be very parochial and not willing to take risks. He has got a job to go in the Uk no problem. It is very stressful being here without work for very long, and we were lucky enough to have lots of savings if we needed to dip into them.
We faced other problems, like bullying of the kids, which i no way blame on Aus as it could happen anywhere in the world but when you are facing all kinds of other issues, it doesn't help.
It sounds from all that as though we have had an awful time! We have also had a great time exploring a new country, seeing new things etc and we are now truly out of our ruts and will be going back to a lovely area to live. I am signed up for a PGCE course to start in Sept, something I tried to achieve here, but which would have been difficult and very costly.
I would say to everybody in all your stages of applying Good Luck!
You do need to come and experience it for yourselves. I too was certain I wouldn't be going back for at least 2 years!!! Take notice of people like Dotty, Hevs etc. You may not like what they say, but most of it is true and once you have lived here a while, their posts make a lot of sense. We left most of money in the UK, so will not be got by 2 sets of exchange rates, and we didn't buy anything too flash to minimise loss if we did go back. Be cautious until you are absolutely sure it is for you, and have an escape route if needed. The cost of living here is about the same as the UK, some things more and some things less.
We will miss Aus in a few ways. The beaches are probably the best I have ever seen in the world, the wildlife is fantastic and the scenery great. If that was enough to live on then we would all be sorted but Aus has as many if different problems to the UK.
I was excited to come here but I feel just as excited to be coming home. Having lived and worked in the States and Africa, I would say Aus has been the hardest for us as a family but it has really made us be able to go back knowing what we want. Thanks to all the friends I made on here - some I met, some just cyber friends.
May log in sometimes to see what's doing, and I expect the same arguments will be discussed again and again!!!!
Apr 5th 2004, 11:12 pm
#58
Bitter and twisted
Joined: Dec 2003
Location: Upmarket
Posts: 17,503
You make some important points there Suffolkdiva.
The issues about work and adequate finances seem to be generally skirted over but , from my observation, seem a key factor along with homesickness etc.
IMO it is essential to have adequate funds to support yourself for some time or a decent job offer BEFORE you go.
No doubt many will disagree but this seems to be a common theme.
Good luck on your return
Best wishes
G
The issues about work and adequate finances seem to be generally skirted over but , from my observation, seem a key factor along with homesickness etc.
IMO it is essential to have adequate funds to support yourself for some time or a decent job offer BEFORE you go.
No doubt many will disagree but this seems to be a common theme.
Good luck on your return
Best wishes
G
Apr 5th 2004, 11:56 pm
#59
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Oct 2003
Location: Coogee, Sydney
Posts: 1,017
Suffolkdiva
Great post ! Thanks for taking the time to do it
The good thing about this site is that it does give a heavy dose of realism and should lead everybody to think of what they will do if it does not work and have a backup plan.
Personally, I cannot see how anyone can say it is a "failure" for someone to try something different and then when it does not live up to their expectations or dreams, and then to make the positive decision to try something else. Isn't that what life is about??
So what if it costs a few quid ? There are many things in life more important than money and anyone who is afraid of (or cannot afford to) losing some personal wealth should think long and hard before emigrating as that will stop you from making the right decisions when you get there.
Good luck with your life back in the UK
Great post ! Thanks for taking the time to do it
The good thing about this site is that it does give a heavy dose of realism and should lead everybody to think of what they will do if it does not work and have a backup plan.
Personally, I cannot see how anyone can say it is a "failure" for someone to try something different and then when it does not live up to their expectations or dreams, and then to make the positive decision to try something else. Isn't that what life is about??
So what if it costs a few quid ? There are many things in life more important than money and anyone who is afraid of (or cannot afford to) losing some personal wealth should think long and hard before emigrating as that will stop you from making the right decisions when you get there.
Good luck with your life back in the UK
Apr 6th 2004, 12:05 am
#60
Guest
Posts: n/a
Well guys....
I am glad it is (so far) working out for me because if I admitted it was not working, I as 'Mr Positive' would never hear the last of it... :you'd all worry and think - if Badge can't make it noone can...(!) all because wittingly or non-wittingly I have built myself some kind of 'reputation' on this forum.....(!)
Having said all that, you really make all your own luck. I've been making all my 'own luck' since I was 14, and every day I shake my head at my past and ongoing achievements. (Why me?) Many people leaving any country have their reasons.
Stay positive, is what I would say, what people I think hate, is negativity, and some of the people on this forum slag off any country with a fair bit of malice so it's all too easy to get annoyed. There are opportunities in both countries, seriously.
Noone knocks 'failures' but they do knock 'failures' who blame it on eveything but themselves - ie the negative thing. And lets face it there's not that many people doing that anyhow- most like Janeray and Karawarra just prefer the UK, or didn't want it enough - it really was not that big a deal. It's not an issue for them.
I guess to really succeed in Australia, at worst, you need to want it bad enough, eg many people go back - 'couldn't get a job in my 'niche' field. Didn't like a similar job.' Well what happens if you break a leg and can't do that niche job anymore? What happens if technology invalidates you career. Stay flexible. Stay successful, and you may weather anything. If you want to - you may not.
I was willing to do drilling, security work and drive trucks if I had too, yet I am an IT bod (at the moment).
I could go back to the UK and get a fab job, but I would miss Australians and Australian culture (No 1 reason for coming) and no amount of me being positive would change that so I choose to stay here.
BM
I am glad it is (so far) working out for me because if I admitted it was not working, I as 'Mr Positive' would never hear the last of it... :you'd all worry and think - if Badge can't make it noone can...(!) all because wittingly or non-wittingly I have built myself some kind of 'reputation' on this forum.....(!)
Having said all that, you really make all your own luck. I've been making all my 'own luck' since I was 14, and every day I shake my head at my past and ongoing achievements. (Why me?) Many people leaving any country have their reasons.
Stay positive, is what I would say, what people I think hate, is negativity, and some of the people on this forum slag off any country with a fair bit of malice so it's all too easy to get annoyed. There are opportunities in both countries, seriously.
Noone knocks 'failures' but they do knock 'failures' who blame it on eveything but themselves - ie the negative thing. And lets face it there's not that many people doing that anyhow- most like Janeray and Karawarra just prefer the UK, or didn't want it enough - it really was not that big a deal. It's not an issue for them.
I guess to really succeed in Australia, at worst, you need to want it bad enough, eg many people go back - 'couldn't get a job in my 'niche' field. Didn't like a similar job.' Well what happens if you break a leg and can't do that niche job anymore? What happens if technology invalidates you career. Stay flexible. Stay successful, and you may weather anything. If you want to - you may not.
I was willing to do drilling, security work and drive trucks if I had too, yet I am an IT bod (at the moment).
I could go back to the UK and get a fab job, but I would miss Australians and Australian culture (No 1 reason for coming) and no amount of me being positive would change that so I choose to stay here.
BM
Last edited by badgersmount; Apr 6th 2004 at 12:16 am.
