scutterUK

.... i like that.

sky

I am not exactly enjoying the ride here in NZ at the moment and am feeling a bit uncomfortable right now typing this and admitting it. Hubby and kids loving it so its really ironic cos I was the one who really wanted to come. Am willing myself to stay positive though, I know its just a temporary thing for me to get over (hoping so anyway) and if I now get any neg comments it will really p*ss me off cos you just dont need them when you are feeling down, no matter what folks say about its only a forum etc and dont take too seriously it can still hurt when someone posts some nasty remark directed at you.
Waffled on enough I think, what I mean is I can completely understand why people stop posting on here when they are having a rough time

wmoore

How long have you been out there Sky?

sky

Oh very early days for me but long enough for two jobs not to work out for me

dotty

Hevs, great thread because hopefully it will make people more sensitive to the feelings of those that it does not work out for.

Often they do get slagged off, I think the general term on here has been to label them failures. I have seen that term hundreds of times.

To me I am going back and have been called a failure in OZ dozens of times, of course to me that is totally hilarious but what about to someone who has found it stressful on their marriage, or financially, or its divided their kids and family on who goes and who stays.

People going home dont usually put it on here for fear of riducule , at one stage I had three families who have all now left PM'ing me all said exactly the same thing, that it did not turn out as expected and no way were they going to put that on this forum. Ask yourself why?

We know 3 UK families outside of this forum who are going back. All have at least 3 kids and not one family even visited OZ before arriving here. Its financially and emotionally devastating. And yes we do know familes who do like it here and are doing well so dont turn it into a UK V OZ thread.

Good luck to anyone going back, you did not fail, you had enormous guts just to try it, no matter how it turned out.

And to those coming out, especially large families, do that reserch trip, nope its not living there but its a hell of a lot better than arriving totally blind.

Especially do that trip if you cant afford it!! Because if you cant afford to visit you sure as hell wont find be able to get back even to visit rellies once on an aussie wage. Find the money its worth every penny.

HUP

Have you been reading a different forum.

podgypossum

Nope...

But if you don't give any examples or be a bit more specific how can anyone make a judgement on it??

I wil also add that i have always felt that sensitivity, help and support should be offered to ALL members here, yet i remember being shot down in flames for it a good while ago, and accused of being insincere!!!

Why is it imperitive to be thoughtful, kind and caring to some members and yet totally fair game to abuse, laugh at and stab at others??

We all need help and support at varying different times and just because some members dont want to post their problems in public doesnt mean they havent got any...that is what i was trying to advocate not long after i joined, yet it fell totally on deaf ears!!!

Is it acceptable to NOT be respectful and understanding to someone if you dont agree with their general views?...no..not in my book...

I think its appaulling the way people trample over others feelings on this forum, whichever side of the fence they are on.

hevs

I rest my case
But Skye, you should do a thread (when your feeling up to it) cos you may mention things that other people yet to do the jump hadn't even thought of. I don't mean to say this would/ should put them off, but forewarned is forearmed etc.
You are not a faliure, you are there living it and i for one know how the day to day stuff gets to you. Good luck skye, chin up and all that H x
PS There are a couple more regulars on here in the same boat as Skye seems its the quiet ones we have to watch

Bix

Everyone is an individual and consequently will have their own opinions and traits. This forum is a collection of those individuals and like in our daily lives there will be differences. This is not a bad thing - variety is the spice of life.

Could the differences we have be expressed in a more civilised manner ? Well, yes they could, but no they will not be because human nature comes into play. We all get sparky at some time or rubbed up the wrong way.

I for one wish to see both positive and negative threads but I don't want to be treated like a child. For example I glean a great deal of useful information from Dotty & Stantons posts but find them both extremely contrascending. They both have an unfortunate and sarcastic way of presenting their information which just makes me feel they are talking down to people in a dictatorial fashion.

I suppose if we were all the same maybe we would all be living in Hawaii

Pollster

It is funny because although I love it here (as some of you might have noticed ) I am finding some things hard - I am worried about dosh, I am a bit bored in the daytime, don't have many friends, feel a bit lonely at times - but putting up a thread saying these things would attract a load of 'I told you so's'. I KNEW about these things before I left but knowing about them and living them is different - I will get over it and we will manage financially but I see it as a bit of a private battle, I suppose. Just look at the Why NZ? thread - the question asked was why do people move there - and what answers did it attract? Reasons why NOT to move to NZ and why Oz was better.

And posts attacking you, or posts that are unsupportive do hurt.

ABCDiamond

I agree with you on that point, but when some people just want to push it 100% one way, then I do feel a bit p**d off, and sometimes "want" to respond.

It should be obvious to all, that there are good and bad points to both (all) countries, and as people are different, whats good to one will be bad to another.

If the 100% one way only posters could accept this , maybe they wouldnt not agravate others to the point that they retaliate.

I am also aware that many people will feel intimidated by some others. Maybe these last few days on here have been worse than most, but I feel that I have noticed more aggro than usual, but i've been thinking it was just me. Maybe it isn't after all.

Right, i'm off now for a few days of R&R or hard work or whatever it holds for me

Florida_03

If you relate to vindicate
You placate
If you generalise to rationalise
You aggravate

DianeOZ

It's very sad because people have all sorts of reasons for moving back to UK.

I think I would post on here if I was unhappy here and hope that there were some like minded peeps who could help me through it but it must be very difficult because you may be brought further down by others reinforcing your worst fears.

It would not be a nice situation to be in and I feel for anyone going through it.

Diane

DaisyNZ

I would definitely NOT post on here when I am feeling bad about having moved here. I've said before that when I found this place I really hoped it would be an expats board, for us living this life and needing others to share the ups and downs with. I was so disappointed when I found out it was for those 'wanting to move out here' instead of those of us already here. But when I feel down or homesick I do find the 'going home' board is really helpful, just reading about others who are going home, or have gone home, makes me feel like I'm not alone. That is what an internet community should be all about.

PLEASE can you guys who are waiting to come out and live this life leave the 'going home' board alone. Why should we write on there and talk about our feelings only to have you turn up and slag us off for it. If there was a board for both purposes where both sides can vent, we wouldn't have this problem.

Ceri

"Probably the most popular destinations for British expatriates. This is where to ask for advice on living in and moving to Australia or New Zealand"

Going from the description of this forum above - It is supposed to be for people living here.. but it's also a place where intending immigrants to the country can ask questions about life in Aus, or NZ - It's for both groups of course, they can hardly ask another intending immigrant who has never been here the price of "lettuce" now can they?
Trouble is , I think, most users on this forum are people in Britain and they far out number us expat forum members over here. So when any of us expats posts a "downer" of a post , to ask for advice or support from other expats - the usual UK mob get involved .. and will attack. You'll also notice that most of the so-called ,rude troll posts (multi user names or whatever you want to call them) are posting from the UK (the time that they post) and not from Aus or NZ.

P.s I also noticed the same old mob getting involved in the UK thread - But I have noticed it is not as bad in this Au/NZ forum as it was a couple of months back.. I think it's got something to do with the new "take it outside" forum - they seem to have found their own little niche at last .


cheers