chippy

LOL
Articulating.....? I didn't know you were a lorry driver.

chippy

That's it.....
Regret what you do do.....not what you don't do.

wmoore

Exactly my sentiments. Your last line there was pretty much the line that convinced me to jump a couple of months back.

bundy

Personally I try not to regret anything because it's a thoroughly pointless emotion! Things happen, you deal with them and you learn from them, the good stuff and the bad.

But I'm with you, got to try something to know whether it's for you. But it doesn't hurt to arm yourself with a few facts first...

chippy

Agreed. But there comes a point when you've got to stop thinking about it and just do it. Something I've tried to reinforce with the beloved Mrs.Chippy in recent times.

bundy

Absolutely. And then something comes along to chuck a spanner in the works and you're back to just thinking (dreaming???) about it all again...

Scrundlebunny

Thats what makes the difference, bundy you are spot on. Friends and family back on the other side of the world can condemn you for going or encourage you or whatever, but they cant understand, cos they haven't done it, and in most cases will never do it.
Its very true that everyone chirps up with the congrats posts, but when someone is so depressed they are leaving Oz, they just get condemned for it by the majority of the forum.

However, there is still a community spirit out there - i proved that last week when i was at rock bottom, but people were posting good wishes and stuff, without knowing me at all. Its just a shame that every so often someone posts something hurtful which drives the depressed person even lower. I had some lovely pms, really cheered me up and made me feel its worth staying.

Chippy, i think you will understand more when you get here. I have the same basic theory, that i have to help myself, its no-one elses problem but mine if i'm miserable, but when you are here, miles from familiarity, you may come to realise how important that support in the background really is.

hevs

This wasn't a thread about is it right or wrong to go or not to go.


Just about maybe thinking before we jump on those honest enough to bear their souls and say why its not working out for them, without being called a winger or a negative person. And also to just accept the fact that moving 12,000 miles isn't for everyone, except for for those of us that are a little kerazeeeee

bundy

Very true. Trouble is, you can't know until you try it, right?

Loopy

I always like Janeyrays posts. She's been here given it a try decided it's not for her & is going back. I'd like to think people like her who are not afraid to post the negatives aren't shot down in flames. Although everyone is emigrating we all have different experiences & perspectives, it works for some not others & everyone making the move should be open minded about what will happen. People should be open to hearing positives & negatives in preparation.

Loopy

podgypossum

I'm a bit lost here.... who would say say nasty things to them?

I dont think there is anyone on here who would scorn upon anyone feeling down, or looking for support for whatever reason it may be. Who do they think would do such a thing?

Andy66

I think this is a really valid thread to start, as people do sometimes disappear up their own proverbials on occasion.

A couple of observations from me:

Sometimes people refer to "the site" as if it's a living entity, as if it is capable of doing good or ill. All any of these sites / forums are are a vehicle for people to exchange views. You get an interesting cross section on here, but in the main, like - minded people tend to frequent it. You can't influence what goes on here, no more than walking into a pub, asking for some quiet, and then saying, "Right tonight, I wish only to receive encouragement and positive comments!" - ain't gonna happen!

One thing I WILL say, is that most people here will have a strong view one way or the other, as they either have the balls to get up and do something about changing their lives or have "gone down fighting" if things haven't worked out.

Personally, I believe in supporting people to achieve their dreams. A couple of quotes spring to mind, "If you say you can, or if you say you can't, you are probably right" (Henry Ford) and "Those who say something cannot be done should stop interrupting those who are actually doing it" (Don't know who did that one)

In my view (for what it's worth) a healthy dose of pragmatism is always needed on these forums. The relative anonymity allows people to indulge their viewpoint far more openly than if it were face to face.

Pick your people you value, and those you don't - probably the only way to stay sane! I've only been around for a while, and I've had my mind made up on quite a few people, but that's an entirely personal thing, based on what I want to get out of this site.

I have seen some wonderful displays of the best of Human Nature (e.g. Messages re Bundy's Mum - I hope she is doing well by the way) and also some displays from people who I would quite happily take a "virtual" baseball bat too!

Ooh, I'm off for a lie down.

Keep reaching for the stars whilst keeping your feet on the ground...

Hugs to all who want 'em

Andy

scutterUK

22,835 registered members ... that's a lot of opinions to consider. I'm sure the majority of those will be supportive of anyone with a problem whether it's just what form they need to fill in, or how they will cope during a crisis.

There will be always people out of all those thousands who feel strongly enough about a post to make comment against it. Sometimes it might not be want you want to hear but sometimes it might be something you have to hear. A different point of view might not always be a bad thing.

Personally i think hevs friends who don't want to post on here are doing the right thing if they feel that way.... and they have my respect for it. However we shouldn't critisis the negative posters for putting their views forward. If you decide to post you should be prepared for them, if you're not then don't post.

As chippy suggested, it's down to us as individuals to decide what to take to heart and what not to... it's just the nature of the beast that we are all playing with.

...having said all that i'll be after all the support i can get once i leave here and i don't mind admitting it!

loose

Maybe i'm niave but its pretty simple to me.

Its important that positive and negative opinions are posted. People need their eyes opening before making a big decision. But remember that opinions are all they are. Its also important not to jump down someone throat when they post negative or positive information.

I know what hevs is saying, there are times when people are too quick to chip in with their know it all postings and it can seem intimidating. I've thought about posting loads of times then just decided I cant be arsed with some of the bollocks replies I might get.

My advice is have a good look around on here, and you soon get an idea of who can get carried away on both sides. Take what they say with a pinch of salt!

Hevs, best wishes to the families you originally mentioned.

Anyone else, you've got this far, you've obviousley got the balls to make your own minds up!

MikeStanton

Talking of inspirational lines, my favourite is "if you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got."