Homesick ???
 

We are about to have medicals so nearing the end of the visa application. We (myself and hubby) have been so concerned about the children's happiness with moving to Oz that we have not even contemplated ourselves. He came home from work yesterday and said he has no doubts about each of the children settling in, and definitely none for him (bad family relations). However he has started to worry about me.

I do have a very close family and I know that I will miss them terribly.

I did want to ask if anybody has gone out there and really found that they have been surprisingly more homesick than they could have imagined and how they dealt with it.

Personally I think hubby is worrying about nothing. I am quite a realistic character but just thought I could gather a few experiences if poss.

Thanks
Theresa

Re: Homesick ???
 

When I lived in Oz I did experience periods of home sickness. This is only natural and but got over it....even when I thought I might be staying there for good.

I sometimes look at the returning to the UK forum. It gives details of why people come back to the UK. Keep an open mind, immigration doesn't necessarily work for everyone and those who are sharing their ideas are wanting to come home or planning to. I looked there becuase I thought it was important to realise the positive and negative realities of moving to Oz. I talk to my hubbie if I have resivations or fears, after all it's a life changing thing.

Good Luck, I'm sure you will be fine.

Re: Homesick ???
 

I'm sure everyone suffers from homesickness at one time or another, just par for the course I guess.

Try not to worry to much about it, just take it as it comes and give it your best shot. :)

Re: Homesick ???
 

When we arrived from South Africa, my wife missed her family but since phonecalls are so cheap 2p a minute, she probably talks more to her family now than when we lived there. Also we went back every 2 years for a brilliant holiday and the homesickness dissappeared as she made friends etc. Now we are doing it again to Oz and we will miss so many good friends we have made here and then again a phone call from here to Oz is only 2p a minute. As long as people have the right attitude and stay positive, it will work out. We will be in Victoria somewhere and you can always phone us. good luck.

Re: Homesick ???
 

Theresa, We have been here just 3 months and I have been feeling a bit homesick as missed my family too. Mum was ill in hospital for a couple of weeks and died unexpectedly on 26 Feb. She was only 61 and it was such a shock and I wish I could have seen her again - she was really looking forward to visiting us. I flew back to England last week for her funeral but coiuldn't wait to get back to Brisbane. I know that I haven't completely settled yet but I do love it here and know I wouldn't want to live in england again.

My advice to you (even though I am still in early days) would be to keep an open mind and be prepared to give your new life alot of effort and time.

hope this helps

donna

Re: Homesick ???
 

Hi Donna - Glad to hear you are back here, and happy to be back as well. PM me if you need anything

xx

Re: Homesick ???
 

Hi Theresa,

I like you, thought that I was realistic and that I would be OK when I got here. I hadn't lived close to my family for over 10 years, whereas we had lived very near my partners my family. I was wrong - things hit me big time, the first 6 weeks were very hard, then just as I was adapting, my grandmother passed away. This just brought back the memory of when we left and both she and my grandfather were crying - at the time of the goodbyes I was fine, in denial I now think. But, it does get better. 6 months after we got here my sister came out, then a year after we arrived my sister and mother came out. As soon as my mother left I was instantly cured of my homesickness, it was like I was subconsciously worried about her worrying about me, and as soon as I knew that she had seen that I was ok, things were fine in my head. Does that sound really weird? Now almost 2 years later we are preparing to go home for the first time - we'll be suprising everyone as no-one knows we are coming. It'll be the first time seeing my dad which I am nervous about. But as has been said, the telephone is so cheap that I speak to them at least once a week. I am looking forward to going back, but also looking forward to coming back to Oz.
All I can say is, expect it to be hard, but you'll get over the hard times - your children will help you with that.
Good luck.

Re: Homesick ???
 

Hi Theresa

I have the same worries for Jules. I know she puts on a brave face for me.
It is still very difficult to deal with, and we are now into our second year.
There is nothing you can do that will completely fill the void you might feel missing your family. Phone calls, web chats and a busy social life do help.

It is important to talk to your partner too about your real feelings. If you are ok with missing family then make sure he knows. Equally so, if you have any doubts.

Good luck with everything.

Chris.

Re: Homesick ???
 

As others have said, homesickness every now and again is par for the course for most people emigrating. The emigration process is all encompassing and is one big roller coaster ride of emotions. Often we are so busy coping with the emigration process that 'feelings' don't hit home until you've had chance to settle in your new country / new home. It would be pretty naive of anyone emigrating not to think it might happen, however....for most people it comes in small waves, usually triggered by songs, talk of snow or Xmas time or special family occasions etc....and then as quickly as it appears..it disappears again.

Of course there are the few who feel an overwhelming feeling of loss and a big black cloud descends and nothing but to go home to UK eases this pain. Thankfully, this only seems to happen to a few as the emotinal turmoil they feel is terrible :(

FWIW I've found that I have to rationalize my feelings whenever I've had the very rare feelings of homesickness by putting to one side my emotions. It's too easy to get carried away with how I'm feeling at the time and I realise the cruel tricks my mind plays when my heart strings rule my head...for instance when my parents came for 3 months to Aus and then returned to UK....I soooo missed them that for 2 cents I could have easily have got on the plane with them :( However I rationalised those feelings and weighed up the pro's and cons and this helped me to diminish the homesickness and in fact embrace the fact I love them and that THIS is what made me feel this way. Not Australia, or living here.

The fact is....when you make the choice to emigrate you should accept there are probably going to be times when you'll miss your family, friends, culture and "things" from your home country. The key really is to accept you will probably have those feelings and you have to overcome them [if you can] which is not easy.

But then who ever said emigrating to the other side of the world is going to be easy :confused:

Only you guys can make this decision and at least you are doing your homework and assessing the pro's and cons. Although you wont really know how you'll feel or how you'll cope till you get here and start living your new life. There is no majic ingredient for the happiness or sadness you might feel when you get here.....if there was ....Expats would patent it!

Whatever you decide I'm sure you'll think through.

Good luck to you and your family Theresa ;)

Re: Homesick ???
 

I think you'd be a fool (or as you put slightly nicer, naive) to think it would be! But as others have said while it does come, it goes just as quickly, and once you get into feeling that here is your 'home' its less frequent and less painful. I always think of it as having bad hours, but good days... the time spent being happy here far out weighs that of missing home. Its breaking through the initial few weeks/months thats the hardest bit, IMO, not living here permanently.

Re: Homesick ???
 

Excellent. Couldn't have put it better myself ;)

Errm in fact it took me about a dozen sentances to say this :D

Re: Homesick ???
 

Cheers, well I might copywrite it, but you can use it for your own purposes still!! ;)

Re: Homesick ???
 

Cheers. Saves me getting writers cramp :D

Re: Homesick ???
 

I think homesickness is a very personal thing, your kids will adapt probably quicker than you do, along as you feed & water kids they tend to be ok!!

As for you & hubby come and give it your best shot & see how it works out, and always remember whats the worst that can happen? if you really dont like it that much, try somewhere else, and if that does not work out either then you can always go home.

Re: Homesick ???
 

Hi Theresa

People sickness is what I've just started to feel after being here for 4 1/2 months. Very close to my family in the UK. I knew what I would feel like after a while away from them but never let it stop me from making the move - so glad I didn't! It has definately been the right move for us - especially my hubby job wise, changed our lives so much.

As someone else said, 'it comes and goes' really strange feeling, I suppose its a bit like losing someone, hard to explain. If you make the decision to change your life, then you have to be strong enough to put up with the consequences and being away from close family is one of the hardest to overcome at times. Phone calls help a lot, but for some people many family members come over to visit them and time does fly when you are having fun in the sun!!!!!!!!

Most children are ok, especially if they are of 'school age' enables them to make new friends, which inevitably helps them to settle into their new lifes.

Everybody 'deals' with it in a different way, but all I will say is - for me it doesn't last long cause I just look out the window and think 'WOW' we are really here :)

Its a chance in a lifetime - and lifes short - go for it - you can always go back if things don't work out - but you need to stay a couple of years I think to really get to grips with Australia.

Take care

:)