Meg_Chris_Aiden

Hi All

My hubby and I have been talking about moving to Oz for approx 5/6 years now(Melbourne, Adelaide,Perth or Sydney) but never actually had the bottle to do anything about it. I can be a bit of a dreamer at times and always think the grass is greener.
Anyway we now have a 3 1/2 year old son and the thought of bringing him up in the Uk terrifies me. Also we don't seem to have the quality family life I think we deserve as we both work full time, and when the weekend comes the weather is so miserable everything we do has to be indoors or is very expensive.

We are hoping to get over this year or beginning of next year for a 3/4 week holiday to see what we think and and see if we could actually live there. The only thing that is stopping me is I am very close to my parents and my sister, so even if we have a great holiday, could I actually take the plunge?

Did anyone else feel this way?
Is the Quality of family life better than here in the Uk?
Can anyone recommend a holiday home rental for 3/4 wks?
Should we start the process sooner rather than later?

Thanks

mancfamily

May I be the first to welcome you to BE

I would say go for it...life's too short.
It's the most difficult thing leaving your family behind, but if you don't like it you can come back. Take a few years out and give it a try, what will you lose?
Well, that's what I keep telling myself anyway, we actually emigrate in August
so can't comment on the quality of life etc.

Good luck!

bluekipper

You may find the grass isnt greener, but you wont know until you try,, regards work, you may find you actually work harder than you worked here,, I dont know what work you do,, alls Im saying is its hard emmigrating esp if your close to family! do your research and if your meant to go you`l go

bluekipper

Kris_Rocks

As my mum said to me, now it has been raised as a possibility you have to go, because if you dont you will spend the rest of your life thinking what if and that could be far more destructive than going out there and coming back if you dont like it.
You can always come back.
Go for it - as Mancfamily said, life is too short.
We havent gone yet waiting to sell house and then get spouse visa, I did spend a year in Perth in 1995 but I am guessing it may have changed a lot since then and I was 21 then and had very different priorities.
But thats where we are heading, mainly because I have family there.
Melbourne is much more cosmopolitan, I liked it as it was a lot more European than most Asutralian cities, I just didnt like the weather!! Quite a lot like England I would say but I was there for 3 months over the winter.
Sorry I cant be more help.
The main reason we are going is because I have an 8 month old baby now and I dont like the outlook here for his future, plus everything here is getting more and more expensive, and if you want to stay at home and be a mum and wife it is virtually impossible to afford.
I dont see why I should have to go to work and pay for someone else to bring up my son. I am hoping that Perth is a more family friendly place and from what I remember it was.

Nick11

In my opinion the grass ain't greener. Still the same of old hassles - still never enough money in the kitty etc etc BUT our way of life and the kids have improved in quality ten fold.
Take the plunge now. We thought about 10 years ago and chickened out. Big regret. The older you get the harder it becomes.
Trust me
Nick

Meg_Chris_Aiden

Hi Thanks for the quick reply and welcome..

Yeah I think leaving family must be the hardest thing, I keep trying to convince myself that I can see them on the web cam and also they can visit us and we can visit them, although don't kow how practical that would be. I think if we come for a holiday and fall in love with it then we will definitely just go for it, otherwise we will spend our whole live wondering what could have been !!

Good luck with it all come August..Where will you be settling?

POW148

Just do it.

I for one do not regret leaving the uk (12 years ago now) I just love this place.

Barney

welovebonds

We were in the same boat, although we have our visas now and have already validated them. It was family that prevented us from going earlier (now leaving the UK this August)...but parents are beside themselves, which we understand. But we said that we now have to think about our family unit and like you say want our little boy to experience a more out door environment. As we have said, if it all fails and we are really unhappy (but we will give ourselves 3 years to settle) then we can always come back. At least we will have tried and I think we will settle in and ensure that we have fun and we have set a rule that once we are in Aus then we are only allowed to moan for half an hour every friday evening...then that's it.
So I would say start the ball rolling as it takes a bit of time to get your visas and give your parents time to come around to the idea.
Good luck.

Hutch

If you were to compile a list of the reasons that people move back to the UK from Australia - I'm pretty certain that number one on that list would be 'missing friends and family'. If you've never lived away from them for a length of time then you shouldn't underestimate the feelings of loss you'll have - indeed some who have suffered from it (thankfully not me) have said it's almost like bereavement.

When you say that you are very close to your parents and sister, little warning sirens go off in my head. Not just close, but 'very' close. Sure there's phones and webcams - but it doesn't quite match up to sitting in your parents kitchen drinking a cup of coffee and shooting the breeze with them. Sorry if that sounds overly pessimistic, but like I said, that one phrase in your post just made me think 'uhoh'.

Also - yes, life's just the same on a day to day level. The details might be different but the broader picture's the same - work, bills, washing, ironing, school runs etc. It's worth adding that much of what happens to immigrants to this country is down to pure pot luck - getting the right job(s), meeting the right people, finding the right school, buying the right house etc etc.

So yes, go for it if you're heart's really in it - but it's not the sort of undertaking you should pursue with half measures and regrets lurking in the back of your mind. Just because others (myself included) are happy here, doesn't mean the story ends the same way for everyone.

bluekipper

Totally agree with Hutch,, as soon as I read your close to family & friends,, I thought OMG she`l struggle! Holesickness is horrendous,, I wouldnt wish it on anybody.

bluekipper

Chef69

Yes I agree with the last poster. Life over here is the same. It really does depend on all those things falling into place like jobs,schools house etc. If I were you I would go for it. Life is far too short and Families have a tendency to surprise you once you make the final decision. They will not support you fully until that time.
Since I have been here (two Yrs ) I have missed my sisters wedding, brother-in-laws wedding, Birth of a niece and nephew,death of my Grandmother and only recently I had to return to Ireland for the unexpected Death of my Beloved Dad.
But I have gained.A respect for myself and Husband for taking the chance to do something about our future.A fantastic group of friends from all over the world and the opportunity to be able to open up the world for my Children to work in without having the complications of having Visa's.My children have never been happier or fitter. The joy it gives me to see them going to school in shorts and polo shirts. Walking around most of the year with no shoes.
Yes it is safe to say that we love it. But the other side of it is. A friend of mine came here in November of last year. Has tried everything to settle, even bought a house, children in school and she has lovely friends. My friend even has a huge group of people that are going to miss her. But she just can't settle. She goes back to the UK for good in June. She has said that she is happy to do so because she gave it a try. She will never go to her grave wondering What If.

Never put yourself in a position to say What If ?

I wish you and your family the very best of happiness for your future. What ever your decision ends up to be.

slktck

I would have a good think about how easy or not it would be for you to return. We almost went to australia a couple of months ago, my husband was offered a job, but decided against it in the end. We have lived in europe before and there's a big difference between being a few hours away or round the other side of the world!
We currently are aiming to get nearer to our family for the kids quality of life.
Not sure that the uk is that terrible! my brother went to live in new zealand when he was 10 after time in the us and here and he can't wait to get back here.
Not sure where you live in Scotland, we have been in scotland for a couple of years, and although its a lovely place in parts, the quality of life in the central belt is in our opinion, far worse than for instance in the south east.
But if you can go and return easily and want an adventure- go for it.
remember its true you might regret not going but you may just as easily regret going especially if a family member became ill or something.

Meg_Chris_Aiden

Hi

Thanks to everyone for all your comments and words of wisdom. We have sat and pondered about this for years and don't really want to think in years to come what if ! We already regret not taking the plunge 5 years ago and don't want to leave it another 5 and be thinking the same.
Our main priority is our son and yes we will miss family/friends but when we see ourselves in Scotland in years to come, it looks a bit bleak.
We have also sat and wrote a list of pro's and con's and the pro's definitely outweigh the cons, especially for the type of outdoor life we are desperately searching for.
I understand that everyday life will be pretty much the same but at least we would be doing it somewhere sunny(ha ha) and as quite a few of you are saying at least we will have given it a go and if it doesn't work out we can always come back.
With regards to me being very close to my family, yes I am and I will truly miss them but I also think that I have to look at what is best for us as a family. I think as long as we work hard to settle and make good friends, get good jobs and have a reasonably good lifestyle then we could give it a good go. I know this won't replace family in the Uk but I think it would help.
We are definitely coming for a holiday 1st to try it out, I know this won't be the same as if we do go for it, but at least we should get a feel for the place.
I work in IT and Chris works in Business Banking, how likely are we to find jobs?

BDAloual

It sounds like you have already made up your mind to go but are just nervous and looking for reassurance. All the posters have given great advice. I have lived abroad before and now I live in Sydney. I agree that you should go as if you dont the "what if" will always nag away at you. I do like it here but ultimately I dont think its that different. Aus is expensive and certainly is not a "carefree laidback lifestyle" that everyone assumes it to be. I am coming to slowly realise that the lifestyle abroad has to be hugely better than Scotland in order to make up for being away from friends and family, and ultimately the lifestyle is not that different so I am questioning whether its all worth it. Mind you, my husband just had to make an emergency trip home as his dad just died and we could not afford for us both to go, so perhaps this is why I am questionning being so far away from family.

Jobs? - I work in banking and got a good job within a week, OH works in IT and it took him 3 months despite the fact he is qualified and experienced in his field.

I would say that as long as you have a bit of money set aside for use moving here and enough to cover you to enable you to move back to Scotland then you having nothing to lose except those relocation costs (but dont underestimate how exp it is moving).

Good Luck

slktck

Just wanted to add that if you haven't started the process yet, then actually starting it may make your feelings clearer - before we got to the point of the actual decision I was pretty keen on the idea, just getting the visa is onl;y the first step, do it as cheap as you can and then you've really got the option - at the moment its just an idea.