Help please
Feb 8th 2007, 12:28 am
#16
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 945
Re: Help please
if we stay i will be lefting feeling as though there is something missing from my life.
that said, if we go that something missing will be money!!
hey ho!!
j xxxx
Feb 8th 2007, 12:29 am
#17
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 945
Re: Help please
I hear ya on the finance front - being 2 of you is entirely different to being 2 of you with 3 tiddlypeeps in tow. Thats something for your private consideration only, IMO.
Eldest daughter being messed up; my opinion is that kids are highly resilient and adaptable up until their early teens (partly because, as previously mentioned, they have no choice in the matter and mostly because they hold no real fixed preconceptions around what their future holds - they live for the 'now', wherever and whatever that may be) Mostly, around that age, (from a psychological point of view) what their future holds, generally revolves around Mum and Dad (peer becomes a major impression a year or two on...). Age 16 with boyf, probably not. Age 11 or 12, I'd consider getting going.
I really hope you are all happy with your decision, whatever that is, being happy - all of you is the main thing.
Eldest daughter being messed up; my opinion is that kids are highly resilient and adaptable up until their early teens (partly because, as previously mentioned, they have no choice in the matter and mostly because they hold no real fixed preconceptions around what their future holds - they live for the 'now', wherever and whatever that may be) Mostly, around that age, (from a psychological point of view) what their future holds, generally revolves around Mum and Dad (peer becomes a major impression a year or two on...). Age 16 with boyf, probably not. Age 11 or 12, I'd consider getting going.
I really hope you are all happy with your decision, whatever that is, being happy - all of you is the main thing.
Feb 8th 2007, 12:32 am
#19
Australia's Doorman
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: The Shoalhaven, New South Wales, Australia
Posts: 11,056
Re: Help please
Ah well - it's how I see it. I think women are far more pragmatic about these things - blokes tend to focus on some mythical 'dream', whilst women focus on the practicalities and mums, in particular, focus on the needs of their kids. Given how it went last time, I honestly couldn't believe it when you said you might be heading back. 
Feb 8th 2007, 1:17 am
#20
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jul 2005
Location: Poole, Dorset
Posts: 1,217
Re: Help please
If you really think you are going to regret not giving it another go then perhaps you should. Think about the postives of it all but also think about whether you could if the worse happens and you are struggling.
My Gran has a very wise saying which is "you don't regret the things in life you do but the things you don't". If you are going to regret not giving it another shot then I'd go for it but personally if I had kids and no money then I'd probably stay here.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
My Gran has a very wise saying which is "you don't regret the things in life you do but the things you don't". If you are going to regret not giving it another shot then I'd go for it but personally if I had kids and no money then I'd probably stay here.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
Feb 8th 2007, 1:22 am
#21
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 945
Re: Help please
oh bugger bugger
Feb 8th 2007, 1:42 am
#22
Home and Happy
Joined: Dec 2002
Location: Keep true friends and puppets close, trust no-one else...
Posts: 93,859
Re: Help please
I just wrote a really long post, but no, its too personal a decision. The one thing I will say is that if your relationship is suffering now, think what it will be like when you are arguing over where to find the money to feed the kids. Emigration rarely strengthens marriages, and often destroys them.
Sit down and make a balanced list - you've been on here long enough to know all the pros and cons, and if you still want to do it just make sure you love him enough.
Feb 8th 2007, 1:46 am
#23
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 945
Re: Help please
Don't do it.
I just wrote a really long post, but no, its too personal a decision. The one thing I will say is that if your relationship is suffering now, think what it will be like when you are arguing over where to find the money to feed the kids. Emigration rarely strengthens marriages, and often destroys them.
Sit down and make a balanced list - you've been on here long enough to know all the pros and cons, and if you still want to do it just make sure you love him enough.
I just wrote a really long post, but no, its too personal a decision. The one thing I will say is that if your relationship is suffering now, think what it will be like when you are arguing over where to find the money to feed the kids. Emigration rarely strengthens marriages, and often destroys them.
Sit down and make a balanced list - you've been on here long enough to know all the pros and cons, and if you still want to do it just make sure you love him enough.
thanks P
Feb 8th 2007, 1:47 am
#24
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 23,400
Re: Help please
Polly, do you think you will ever pursuade your hubby to live in the UK?
I find it so sad that you are living somewhere you dont want to be.
I realise what you are saying when you say that your husband feels that Aussie is his home, but I just wondered if you ever saw yourself going back to the uk at all.
I find it so sad that you are living somewhere you dont want to be.
I realise what you are saying when you say that your husband feels that Aussie is his home, but I just wondered if you ever saw yourself going back to the uk at all.
Feb 8th 2007, 1:53 am
#25
Australia's Doorman
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: The Shoalhaven, New South Wales, Australia
Posts: 11,056
Re: Help please
Polly, do you think you will ever pursuade your hubby to live in the UK?
I find it so sad that you are living somewhere you dont want to be. I realise what you are saying when you say that your husband feels that Aussie is his home, but I just wondered if you ever saw yourself going back to the uk at all.
I find it so sad that you are living somewhere you dont want to be.
I realise what you are saying when you say that your husband feels that Aussie is his home, but I just wondered if you ever saw yourself going back to the uk at all.
Feb 8th 2007, 1:56 am
#26
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 23,400
Re: Help please
As for Rooksie, I reckon you shouldnt make any major decisions with PND.
You have too much on your plate at the moment and as people have said, emigrating again so soon, could add even more stress - which you dont need.
Feb 8th 2007, 2:01 am
#27
pink 'n' bouncy
Joined: Jul 2006
Location: Zombie nation
Posts: 6,087
Re: Help please
i cant really offer you any advice but give you my best wishes,i hope things turn out ok.
regards,Lee
( Karma sent )
regards,Lee
( Karma sent )
Feb 8th 2007, 2:03 am
#28
I'm watching YOU...
Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Searching for The Doctor
Posts: 844
Re: Help please
Even if nobody replies i just want to offload.
When we moved out last year and came back to UK because of my pregnancy we basically lost everything financially. We are now back in the UK and flat broke and struggling to live day to day. Jed wants to give Oz another go. I am worried because it would be shit or bust for us as we have no reserves in the bank and i cannot work because Eve is still a baby. There is also the fact that Grace and Daisy would be dragged out of their school yet again and split up from their friends - this could really mess them up, especially Grace who has just started secondary school.
I am sick with worry and it is affecting our relationship. I am scared stiff about going back to Oz and having no money in the bank whatsoever.
Feel like crying - my life is a mess
J
When we moved out last year and came back to UK because of my pregnancy we basically lost everything financially. We are now back in the UK and flat broke and struggling to live day to day. Jed wants to give Oz another go. I am worried because it would be shit or bust for us as we have no reserves in the bank and i cannot work because Eve is still a baby. There is also the fact that Grace and Daisy would be dragged out of their school yet again and split up from their friends - this could really mess them up, especially Grace who has just started secondary school.
I am sick with worry and it is affecting our relationship. I am scared stiff about going back to Oz and having no money in the bank whatsoever.
Feel like crying - my life is a mess
J
I would take heed for the advice given here but also what is in you own heart, to come for such a little time like you did and to go home you must be left with so many what if’s
“You are a long time dead” is one of my favourite sayings and “Life is so short”.
Only you can know how the story will end
Good luck
Sam
Feb 8th 2007, 2:34 am
#29
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 945
Re: Help please
Oh no, I meant pollyanna, because of posts she has written about her feelings on Oz
As for Rooksie, I reckon you shouldnt make any major decisions with PND.
You have too much on your plate at the moment and as people have said, emigrating again so soon, could add even more stress - which you dont need.
As for Rooksie, I reckon you shouldnt make any major decisions with PND.
You have too much on your plate at the moment and as people have said, emigrating again so soon, could add even more stress - which you dont need.
i dont have PND by the way but i can see why you would think i have!!!
Feb 8th 2007, 2:36 am
#30
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 945
Re: Help please
I have followed you through the whole visa thing and house-selling thing; we even nearly meet once at Sandown, but you had gone to bed for an early night!!!!
I would take heed for the advice given here but also what is in you own heart, to come for such a little time like you did and to go home you must be left with so many what if’s
“You are a long time dead” is one of my favourite sayings and “Life is so short”.
Only you can know how the story will end
Good luck
Sam
I would take heed for the advice given here but also what is in you own heart, to come for such a little time like you did and to go home you must be left with so many what if’s
“You are a long time dead” is one of my favourite sayings and “Life is so short”.
Only you can know how the story will end
Good luck
Sam
thanks sam - you are so right. we have heaps of if buts and maybe's.
i guess i got a lot of serious talkin to do with him indoors
thanks
j x
