RooksieJ

Even if nobody replies i just want to offload.

When we moved out last year and came back to UK because of my pregnancy we basically lost everything financially. We are now back in the UK and flat broke and struggling to live day to day. Jed wants to give Oz another go. I am worried because it would be shit or bust for us as we have no reserves in the bank and i cannot work because Eve is still a baby. There is also the fact that Grace and Daisy would be dragged out of their school yet again and split up from their friends - this could really mess them up, especially Grace who has just started secondary school.

I am sick with worry and it is affecting our relationship. I am scared stiff about going back to Oz and having no money in the bank whatsoever.

Feel like crying - my life is a mess

J

Wendy

Mate, I'm gonna send you a PM

Wendy

No, I'm not. You've turned them off

PM me your phone number and I'll ring you or turn you PM's back on for a while

The A Team

Jacs email me or PM me mate x

RooksieJ

turned back on mate. any stalker messes with me at the moment will get more than they bargained for!!!!

RooksieJ

having a bad life mate

Stitch

Just PM'd you

Cheers

Ginny

steandleigh

Hmm....try to put it all in perpective, if you can. Ask some questions:

Why do you want to come over here?
Why does Jed want to come over here?

(Hopefully some of the main ideas of these 2 questions will match up)

What is the worst that could happen if you did try again?

How will life be if you stay in blighty?

How important is money to you (or lack of) in the whole scheme of things?

Really rude question (and obviously not one you have to answer on a public forum, just to yourselves) but how strong is your marriage, either way?

I guess what I'm trying to put over to you is that it's a mega decision, whatever you do and asking questions of yourself and each other is the only way to go at this point - don't fester or get stressed - analyse and get practical about the whole thing and you'll find the answers amongst the two of you.

Good luck, whatever you do.

Hutch

Honestly Rooks - in your shoes, I wouldn't go. Bottom line is, in the UK there's a far better safety net if things go completely to shit. I also think we (us 'grownups' ) are lying when we bang on about how adaptable kids are - all we mean is that it's simpler for them because they basically have no say.

RooksieJ

thanks mate - im really going to take all of that on board and hopefully things will become clearer soon.

worst that can happen? being in australia and broke and not being able to afford to keep roof over our heads! that is what really worries me. also, eldest daughter being loopy like her mother because her life has been messed up so bloody much!

oh poop!

Wendy

Depends on the kids ages. My 14 year old hated the idea, but now wouldn't go back for anything. He loves school, has loads of mates and is thoroughly enjoying it here.

RooksieJ

EeeeeeK!!!

possoms

IMHO Jac I wouldnt go back, just dont think you should put yourself through that again.

steandleigh

I hear ya on the finance front - being 2 of you is entirely different to being 2 of you with 3 tiddlypeeps in tow. Thats something for your private consideration only, IMO.

Eldest daughter being messed up; my opinion is that kids are highly resilient and adaptable up until their early teens (partly because, as previously mentioned, they have no choice in the matter and mostly because they hold no real fixed preconceptions around what their future holds - they live for the 'now', wherever and whatever that may be) Mostly, around that age, (from a psychological point of view) what their future holds, generally revolves around Mum and Dad (peer becomes a major impression a year or two on...). Age 16 with boyf, probably not. Age 11 or 12, I'd consider getting going.

I really hope you are all happy with your decision, whatever that is, being happy - all of you is the main thing.

Hutch

I hear you Wend, but at the end of the day she had no choice in the matter and whilst it's great that it's worked out for her, things could easily have gone the other way. That's all I'm trying to say I suppose - we grown-ups make a decision and are often better equipped to deal with whatever emigration throws at us, because it *was* our decision - kids of whatever age don't have that luxury. My son loves it here, but I'd be lying if I said it hadn't disrupted his life. He was only four when we moved here, but he had a network of friends and was finding his little niche in his class. Not saying none of us with kids should emigrate, just that we often underplay the significance of the impact it has on their lives.