HELP!!! I am about to crack up!
#1
High in the Dandenongs
Thread Starter
Joined: Apr 2003
Location: Listening to Puffing Billy
Posts: 9,183
HELP!!! I am about to crack up!
Does anyone remember the first series of "I'm a celebrity, get me out of here"?
The reason i ask is cos i have taken over the mind of Tony Blackburn HELP!!!!!
This is due to having 5 huge trees chopped out of our garden, the biggest being a ghost gum of 75 ft high and with a trunk of such large proportions that 4 eight feet table top slabs were cut out of the bottom 8 ft of the trunk!!!
Now before all you tree huggers rush for your sandels and do a group hug thing, this tree was leaning towards our house and our lovely neighbours too, it was dangerous, ok!! The others were just massive and as we live in an area that is classed to be of high fire danger we decided not to take the risk, anyway iam digressing..............
On the weekend we hired a hydrolic splitter and took the best part of 2 days to chop the copious amounts of wood. Now we have the stuff every where, including the reserve and i am panicking incase some theiving shiester comes and nicks it all! So, the upshot is that i am trying to get it all shifted (away from the house as we don't want white ants either) into neat piles. I fell i am becoming a tad anal about the shape of the stacks and where i am putting them, i even drempt about it last night!! Theres just sooooo much of it, its EVERYWHERE, Tony Blackburn eat your little heart out!!
I am thinking about starting a new series, but called "I'm a non entity, get me out of here"
Help i am cracking up:scared:
The reason i ask is cos i have taken over the mind of Tony Blackburn HELP!!!!!
This is due to having 5 huge trees chopped out of our garden, the biggest being a ghost gum of 75 ft high and with a trunk of such large proportions that 4 eight feet table top slabs were cut out of the bottom 8 ft of the trunk!!!
Now before all you tree huggers rush for your sandels and do a group hug thing, this tree was leaning towards our house and our lovely neighbours too, it was dangerous, ok!! The others were just massive and as we live in an area that is classed to be of high fire danger we decided not to take the risk, anyway iam digressing..............
On the weekend we hired a hydrolic splitter and took the best part of 2 days to chop the copious amounts of wood. Now we have the stuff every where, including the reserve and i am panicking incase some theiving shiester comes and nicks it all! So, the upshot is that i am trying to get it all shifted (away from the house as we don't want white ants either) into neat piles. I fell i am becoming a tad anal about the shape of the stacks and where i am putting them, i even drempt about it last night!! Theres just sooooo much of it, its EVERYWHERE, Tony Blackburn eat your little heart out!!
I am thinking about starting a new series, but called "I'm a non entity, get me out of here"
Help i am cracking up:scared:
#2
Re: HELP!!! I am about to crack up!
Originally posted by hevs
Does anyone remember the first series of "I'm a celebrity, get me out of here"?
The reason i ask is cos i have taken over the mind of Tony Blackburn HELP!!!!!
This is due to having 5 huge trees chopped out of our garden, the biggest being a ghost gum of 75 ft high and with a trunk of such large proportions that 4 eight feet table top slabs were cut out of the bottom 8 ft of the trunk!!!
Now before all you tree huggers rush for your sandels and do a group hug thing, this tree was leaning towards our house and our lovely neighbours too, it was dangerous, ok!! The others were just massive and as we live in an area that is classed to be of high fire danger we decided not to take the risk, anyway iam digressing..............
On the weekend we hired a hydrolic splitter and took the best part of 2 days to chop the copious amounts of wood. Now we have the stuff every where, including the reserve and i am panicking incase some theiving shiester comes and nicks it all! So, the upshot is that i am trying to get it all shifted (away from the house as we don't want white ants either) into neat piles. I fell i am becoming a tad anal about the shape of the stacks and where i am putting them, i even drempt about it last night!! Theres just sooooo much of it, its EVERYWHERE, Tony Blackburn eat your little heart out!!
I am thinking about starting a new series, but called "I'm a non entity, get me out of here"
Help i am cracking up:scared:
Does anyone remember the first series of "I'm a celebrity, get me out of here"?
The reason i ask is cos i have taken over the mind of Tony Blackburn HELP!!!!!
This is due to having 5 huge trees chopped out of our garden, the biggest being a ghost gum of 75 ft high and with a trunk of such large proportions that 4 eight feet table top slabs were cut out of the bottom 8 ft of the trunk!!!
Now before all you tree huggers rush for your sandels and do a group hug thing, this tree was leaning towards our house and our lovely neighbours too, it was dangerous, ok!! The others were just massive and as we live in an area that is classed to be of high fire danger we decided not to take the risk, anyway iam digressing..............
On the weekend we hired a hydrolic splitter and took the best part of 2 days to chop the copious amounts of wood. Now we have the stuff every where, including the reserve and i am panicking incase some theiving shiester comes and nicks it all! So, the upshot is that i am trying to get it all shifted (away from the house as we don't want white ants either) into neat piles. I fell i am becoming a tad anal about the shape of the stacks and where i am putting them, i even drempt about it last night!! Theres just sooooo much of it, its EVERYWHERE, Tony Blackburn eat your little heart out!!
I am thinking about starting a new series, but called "I'm a non entity, get me out of here"
Help i am cracking up:scared:
Just what were you going to do with the three SPARE table top slabs you have? Can we come to some sort of deal....?
#3
High in the Dandenongs
Thread Starter
Joined: Apr 2003
Location: Listening to Puffing Billy
Posts: 9,183
hhhmmm, what do you have to barter DUP???
#4
Originally posted by hevs
hhhmmm, what do you have to barter DUP???
hhhmmm, what do you have to barter DUP???
PM me with the sizes if you like, (8' long, what about width and thickness?) and let me have your 'best price'. Then we can haggle - downwards!
#5
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 11,149
Re: HELP!!! I am about to crack up!
Originally posted by hevs
Does anyone remember the first series of "I'm a celebrity, get me out of here"?
The reason i ask is cos i have taken over the mind of Tony Blackburn HELP!!!!!
This is due to having 5 huge trees chopped out of our garden, the biggest being a ghost gum of 75 ft high and with a trunk of such large proportions that 4 eight feet table top slabs were cut out of the bottom 8 ft of the trunk!!!
Now before all you tree huggers rush for your sandels and do a group hug thing, this tree was leaning towards our house and our lovely neighbours too, it was dangerous, ok!! The others were just massive and as we live in an area that is classed to be of high fire danger we decided not to take the risk, anyway iam digressing..............
On the weekend we hired a hydrolic splitter and took the best part of 2 days to chop the copious amounts of wood. Now we have the stuff every where, including the reserve and i am panicking incase some theiving shiester comes and nicks it all! So, the upshot is that i am trying to get it all shifted (away from the house as we don't want white ants either) into neat piles. I fell i am becoming a tad anal about the shape of the stacks and where i am putting them, i even drempt about it last night!! Theres just sooooo much of it, its EVERYWHERE, Tony Blackburn eat your little heart out!!
I am thinking about starting a new series, but called "I'm a non entity, get me out of here"
Help i am cracking up:scared:
Does anyone remember the first series of "I'm a celebrity, get me out of here"?
The reason i ask is cos i have taken over the mind of Tony Blackburn HELP!!!!!
This is due to having 5 huge trees chopped out of our garden, the biggest being a ghost gum of 75 ft high and with a trunk of such large proportions that 4 eight feet table top slabs were cut out of the bottom 8 ft of the trunk!!!
Now before all you tree huggers rush for your sandels and do a group hug thing, this tree was leaning towards our house and our lovely neighbours too, it was dangerous, ok!! The others were just massive and as we live in an area that is classed to be of high fire danger we decided not to take the risk, anyway iam digressing..............
On the weekend we hired a hydrolic splitter and took the best part of 2 days to chop the copious amounts of wood. Now we have the stuff every where, including the reserve and i am panicking incase some theiving shiester comes and nicks it all! So, the upshot is that i am trying to get it all shifted (away from the house as we don't want white ants either) into neat piles. I fell i am becoming a tad anal about the shape of the stacks and where i am putting them, i even drempt about it last night!! Theres just sooooo much of it, its EVERYWHERE, Tony Blackburn eat your little heart out!!
I am thinking about starting a new series, but called "I'm a non entity, get me out of here"
Help i am cracking up:scared:
#6
High in the Dandenongs
Thread Starter
Joined: Apr 2003
Location: Listening to Puffing Billy
Posts: 9,183
Originally posted by downunderpom
Barter? Nah! Too antiquated. I was thinking of cash... could go some way toward defraying your tree felling costs....
PM me with the sizes if you like, (8' long, what about width and thickness?) and let me have your 'best price'. Then we can haggle - downwards!
Barter? Nah! Too antiquated. I was thinking of cash... could go some way toward defraying your tree felling costs....
PM me with the sizes if you like, (8' long, what about width and thickness?) and let me have your 'best price'. Then we can haggle - downwards!
the width is about 3 ft and the thickness is about 10 inches (O ER MISSIS)
you would need a hgv to collect it, and a crane, it took 4 of us and a big furniture moving trolley to move our one 10 yards!
Its wrapped in carpet outside my lounge window at the mo, don't quite know what to do with it next.
Our nieh=ghbour has one and the other 2 were taken by the tree feller who kindly "pruned" several other trees out of quote for us in retuern!
#7
High in the Dandenongs
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Joined: Apr 2003
Location: Listening to Puffing Billy
Posts: 9,183
Re: HELP!!! I am about to crack up!
Originally posted by bondipom
Whats the deal with chopping them down there. Do you need council permission? A few have been lopped down around Bondi because they have been getting dangerous but they are being replaced with something more manageable.
Whats the deal with chopping them down there. Do you need council permission? A few have been lopped down around Bondi because they have been getting dangerous but they are being replaced with something more manageable.
#8
High in the Dandenongs
Thread Starter
Joined: Apr 2003
Location: Listening to Puffing Billy
Posts: 9,183
PS, my arms ache so much my typings a bit off today
Must go and sort logs.............
:scared: :scared:
Must go and sort logs.............
:scared: :scared:
#9
Originally posted by hevs
look mate, i live in a village and barterings the norm
the width is about 3 ft and the thickness is about 10 inches (O ER MISSIS)
you would need a hgv to collect it, and a crane, it took 4 of us and a big furniture moving trolley to move our one 10 yards!
Its wrapped in carpet outside my lounge window at the mo, don't quite know what to do with it next.
Our nieh=ghbour has one and the other 2 were taken by the tree feller who kindly "pruned" several other trees out of quote for us in retuern!
look mate, i live in a village and barterings the norm
the width is about 3 ft and the thickness is about 10 inches (O ER MISSIS)
you would need a hgv to collect it, and a crane, it took 4 of us and a big furniture moving trolley to move our one 10 yards!
Its wrapped in carpet outside my lounge window at the mo, don't quite know what to do with it next.
Our nieh=ghbour has one and the other 2 were taken by the tree feller who kindly "pruned" several other trees out of quote for us in retuern!
Sounds like it will need a trailer to collect. I haven't got one of those.... yet. Hmmmm..... Do you have anywhere under cover to stack these, so they can season straight?
(Yeah, I KNOW I'm a cheeky bastard. Mrs DUP tells me that all the time. But hey - you don't ask, you don't get!! )
#10
High in the Dandenongs
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Joined: Apr 2003
Location: Listening to Puffing Billy
Posts: 9,183
the wood chopper man said to leave it out on a flat surface so that it gets weathered in the weather. Apparently i have to water it if it doesn't rain after a week!
Is that not the norm then?
PS> if i had a spare you could be first in line, but we don't. sorry
Is that not the norm then?
PS> if i had a spare you could be first in line, but we don't. sorry
#11
Just read the second part of your reply - I'm not surprised the tree feller took two slabs as payment - they're almost impossible to get in that size. Once they're properly seasoned and finished, they're pretty unique. If anyone was daft enough to sell a completed top it'd be worth a fortune.
(I like woodworking - it's one of my hobbies.)
(I like woodworking - it's one of my hobbies.)
#12
Originally posted by hevs
the wood chopper man said to leave it out on a flat surface so that it gets weathered in the weather. Apparently i have to water it if it doesn't rain after a week!
Is that not the norm then?
PS> if i had a spare you could be first in line, but we don't. sorry
the wood chopper man said to leave it out on a flat surface so that it gets weathered in the weather. Apparently i have to water it if it doesn't rain after a week!
Is that not the norm then?
PS> if i had a spare you could be first in line, but we don't. sorry
Seasoning - I'd say check the web. the Yanks do a lot of that sort of thing. As Melbourne has a pretty damp climate (according to the whingers!) you should be alright. But DAMP - not SOAKED. Put it on some flat planks, to keep it off the ground, and then cover it over (shed affair). That allows the air to circulate, and if you put some more planks on top (across the grain) and then weight those down the slab will season flat and straight.
Then, once it's done, (6-12 months) refuse to accept less than $1000 for it!
#13
High in the Dandenongs
Thread Starter
Joined: Apr 2003
Location: Listening to Puffing Billy
Posts: 9,183
ok!
so how do i do it, properly, so it look the best then??
so how do i do it, properly, so it look the best then??
#14
High in the Dandenongs
Thread Starter
Joined: Apr 2003
Location: Listening to Puffing Billy
Posts: 9,183
ok thanks. Just one more question.... How the *&%$ do i get it into my shed, remember i have a huntsman guarding the door!!!:scared:
#15
Originally posted by hevs
ok thanks. Just one more question.... How the *&%$ do i get it into my shed, remember i have a huntsman guarding the door!!!:scared:
ok thanks. Just one more question.... How the *&%$ do i get it into my shed, remember i have a huntsman guarding the door!!!:scared:
Lift the shed off. Put the slab in place. Put the shed back. What's the problem?
BTW, I've seen tables here in Sydney which are recycled floorboards, (i.e. joined together to form a top, NOT a single slab) going for $7K and UP. That slab, properly seasoned, prepared and supported on a well made base, will fetch $10K without even trying. :lecture:
P.S. that's a point - put some of the rest of the wood with the slab (separated by planks) and season it all together. A complete table made from the same wood will be worth a bloody fortune!
Last edited by downunderpom; Feb 23rd 2004 at 11:01 pm.