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Help on how to cope with doubts?

Help on how to cope with doubts?

Old Oct 16th 2003, 8:57 am
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Default Help on how to cope with doubts?

I'm having one of my more down days today, and was wondering how other people felt and coped with their doubts.

Basically, I've always wanted to go to OZ, after looking into house prices and jobs, we (me, hubby and 3 kids) realised that there were plenty of jobs and house prices were better than here and we were gonna go for it. Since then, I've found out that jobs are scarce (hubby's in IT, qualified as CCIE) and the jobs advertised are mostly fake, also that house prices near the city of Melbourne are rather expensive.

I'm not particularly close to my family and haven't a huge social life to miss, but I am really happy here. I love the village that I live in and my house does us fine, I love our family holidays in the Med, ordering my clothes from Next and all other menial things that I take for granted. So, why do I want to go? I thought it would be a better life style, mainly because of the weather and being able to spend more time outdoors, but is that a good enough reason to move my whole family to the other side of the world, or shouldn't I be happy with what I've got? If house prices were better and there were more jobs, I'd go tomorrow. But, the fact is, they aren't and I can't cope with these doubts!!!

Have other people felt like this? Advice please.

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Old Oct 16th 2003, 9:04 am
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we all get these days and would be lying if we said otherwise.

the only advice i can give you is... go for it or you will always wonder what might of been, you can always come back.



 
Old Oct 16th 2003, 9:04 am
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Default Re: Help on how to cope with doubts?

Originally posted by noodle
I'm having one of my more down days today, and was wondering how other people felt and coped with their doubts.

Basically, I've always wanted to go to OZ, after looking into house prices and jobs, we (me, hubby and 3 kids) realised that there were plenty of jobs and house prices were better than here and we were gonna go for it. Since then, I've found out that jobs are scarce (hubby's in IT, qualified as CCIE) and the jobs advertised are mostly fake, also that house prices near the city of Melbourne are rather expensive.

I'm not particularly close to my family and haven't a huge social life to miss, but I am really happy here. I love the village that I live in and my house does us fine, I love our family holidays in the Med, ordering my clothes from Next and all other menial things that I take for granted. So, why do I want to go? I thought it would be a better life style, mainly because of the weather and being able to spend more time outdoors, but is that a good enough reason to move my whole family to the other side of the world, or shouldn't I be happy with what I've got? If house prices were better and there were more jobs, I'd go tomorrow. But, the fact is, they aren't and I can't cope with these doubts!!!

Have other people felt like this? Advice please.

Noodle.x
Melbourne might not be the best place for weather or cheap houses, if thats what put you off, Brisbane and Perth both have much cheaper houses and hotter weather. Brisbanes the one where you wont get too much winter at all. IT's probably bad everywhere, my brother just got laid off in Brighton UK. Perhaps another job is necessary I dont know. Have you been here yet Oz I mean? Might answer a few questions yourself that way. Better go waitng for a update from my now redundant brother in UK!
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Old Oct 16th 2003, 9:05 am
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Hi Noodle

I think we all have the `down` days, i have had a few. But was lifted by the responses my friends made on here. Have no great remedy but i think we all have the same doubts about jobs,houses etc. Have you looked at other areas or are you set on Melbourne?

Over the last few weeks we have spoke more about the move than we have done for a while and have reached some decisions. At the moment i am reserching as much as i can on the important issues such as work and the kids education etc. Looking at the rise of property and looking closely at the areas we want to eventually settle in.

There are no magic words to say except keep your chin up and i hope that it all works out for you in the end.

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Old Oct 16th 2003, 9:11 am
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In my humble opinion..the best way to deal with it is sit back, take a deep breath and ask yourself this... if we go and we dont like it, would we have the funds to come back?

If you do then i would go. Life is for living, and if we never take chances in life, we will stay put and vegetate into old age. Even if its not the place you want to spend the rest of your life, at least you will have exciting memories to look back on and say you gave it a go.
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Old Oct 16th 2003, 9:21 am
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Hi Noodle,

Know what you're going through.

I woke up this morning in a blind panic, just thinking about all the things I'm going to need to buy when we get there, not to mention finding somewhere to live, schools etc.

Have you been out to Australia to have a look before you go? I think thats really important. We were originally heading for Melbourne until we went out there. Although we loved the city itself, we didn't see anywhere we would like to live. We did realise that we wanted to be in Australia, however.

Jim is also in IT. He's freelance, and, to be honest, there aren't that many jobs here either (Jobserve also has lots of fake job adverts). We're also lucky in that it looks like Jim will be able to keep his current job working from Australia. One of his team already lives in Perth. However, there are jobs out there if you have the right skill set. They're just hard to find.

You seem to have a lot going for you here. Have you written out a list of the pros and cons for going? That may be helpful. Personally, I can't see anything that would keep me here. We moved away from a families a long time ago, and here in the South East, house prices have gone through the roof so we can't afford a better property.

Its an enormous thing we're doing and, really you should be more worried if you weren't having doubts. Whatever you decide, you have to do whats best for you and yours. You're all that matters.

Jane
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Old Oct 16th 2003, 9:23 am
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Life is for living, and if we never take chances in life, we will stay put and vegetate into old age. Even if its not the place you want to spend the rest of your life, at least you will have exciting memories to look back on and say you gave it a go.
My thoughts exactly Podgypossum; I had a real morning of doubts yesterday, saying goodbye to all my possessions as they went off to be shipped. I just thought "What am I DOING? I don't want to go" But then you remember all the reasons why you decided to go in the first place. Go and try it, trip of a lifetime, you'll never regret it, and if it doesn't work, come back, and just say "tried it, not for us" and move on.
If you don't go, you will always wonder "what if...."
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Old Oct 16th 2003, 9:33 am
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Default Re: Help on how to cope with doubts?

Thanks for the response.

Firstly, we chose Melbourne mainly because we believe the majority of jobs are in Sydney, then Melbourne, then Brisbane. Don't fancy Sydney, Brisbane's probably too hot and we have some friends who lived in Melbourne and loved it. I don't mind having the seasons Melbourne brings, but I do want a bit more sunshine than the North west of England brings!

Secondly, no, we don't really have the finance to visit or to come back really. We own a 3 bed house worth £120k and if we came back, especially the way house prices are rising, we'd be lucky to get a 2 bed if we came back! It is something I'm prepared to risk, I know if it all goes pear shaped we will have done something a lot of people never get the chance to do and will have learnt a valuable lesson, but it's still soooo scarey.

I suppose I'm worrying because we're playing a waiting game at the mo and I want to be getting on with things, like doing up the house etc, but there's no point if we move. Not knowing whether we're staying or going is rather annoying!! I'll be raring to go again tomorrow, I jus wonder sometimes whether I'm being ungrateful for what I have by wanting something better.

Confused Noodle.x

Last edited by noodle; Oct 16th 2003 at 9:41 am.
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Old Oct 16th 2003, 10:32 am
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Default Re: Help on how to cope with doubts?

Originally posted by noodle
Thanks for the response.

Secondly, no, we don't really have the finance to visit or to come back really. We own a 3 bed house worth £120k and if we came back, especially the way house prices are rising, we'd be lucky to get a 2 bed if we came back! It is something I'm prepared to risk, I know if it all goes pear shaped we will have done something a lot of people never get the chance to do and will have learnt a valuable lesson, but it's still soooo scarey.

Confused Noodle.x
Sounds like me at the moment - although we don't have that much equity in the house. We've been thinking about renting but are really put off by the tax etc., especially if we decide to sell later on. It is scary - I worry that if we can't hold onto the house, we'll end up returning to a dump, if we have to. Well, it doesn't look like we need to make any rash decisions - we've got 9/10 months to wait for DIMIA anyway, but I am feeling less positive these days about Aus. I have always thought that it would be a good thing to enjoy the remainder of our time here, so I should be glad of that!
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looking forward to Pompey meet to see other like minded folks! (The in-laws have been getting to me!)
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Old Oct 16th 2003, 11:00 am
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Hi,
like some of you others i have days when I wonder if we are doing the right thing but I try to remind myself of the reasons we decided to give it ago. My mind is full of what ifs (we cant get jobs etc) but I also know that I dont want to get to a point in my life when its too late and wonder what if we had gone?
They do say you regret more the things you didnt do than those you do.
Debbie (also looking forward to Pompey meetup!)
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Old Oct 16th 2003, 11:11 am
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I still have doubts about going back and I'm a Kiwi! I still fear the 'unknown' - getting a job, settling in, regretting leaving all the good things about the Uk behind.

But for me, the pull of the relatively pristine outdoors, the moutains, and the lack of people are the clinchers.

The density of population in England is not for me. Scotland is more my style, but I don't thing I could handle the short days in winter.
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Old Oct 16th 2003, 11:12 am
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Just to pick up on a point that seems to worry lots of people on here.

Even if you have to come back with less equity, having tried the Aussie life and decided it's not for you, it isn't the end of the world.

When I split up with my husband in 1992, I left with two children aged 7 and 5, some personal bits and pieces and no job or money - the business we owned (and lived above) folded soon afterwards and I got nothing as it was in negative equity.

Admittedly I've had a lot of support from my mum especially in the first few years, but 11 years on I have a good job that I love (been promoted three times from my starting level), a house with about £65k equity and have completed a professional accountancy qualification and (almost) an MBA.

So if you think you might end up having to backtrack slightly IF you decide to return to the UK, don't worry. If you've had the determination to make it this far you can cope with pretty much anything I reckon!

Just a thought...

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Old Oct 16th 2003, 11:21 am
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Default Re: Help on how to cope with doubts?

Originally posted by Larissa
Sounds like me at the moment - although we don't have that much equity in the house. We've been thinking about renting but are really put off by the tax etc., especially if we decide to sell later on. It is scary - I worry that if we can't hold onto the house, we'll end up returning to a dump, if we have to. Well, it doesn't look like we need to make any rash decisions - we've got 9/10 months to wait for DIMIA anyway, but I am feeling less positive these days about Aus. I have always thought that it would be a good thing to enjoy the remainder of our time here, so I should be glad of that!
Confused Larissa
looking forward to Pompey meet to see other like minded folks! (The in-laws have been getting to me!)

Stuiped me! I didn't mean to say we own the house, that's how much it's worth, but we've still got £65k to pay on it. We only bought it 2 1/2 years ago. So, really we'll have £55k to put down in Oz, which ain't alot. I was hoping to buy a nice 4 bed, maybe with a pool, but the average house price in some of the nicer areas are in the late $600k's. Bonkers. I've been advised to rent over there, but it's dead money, isn't it? Where are you going to Larissa?
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Old Oct 16th 2003, 11:59 am
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Default Re: Help on how to cope with doubts?

Originally posted by noodle
Stuiped me! I didn't mean to say we own the house, that's how much it's worth, but we've still got £65k to pay on it. We only bought it 2 1/2 years ago. So, really we'll have £55k to put down in Oz, which ain't alot. I was hoping to buy a nice 4 bed, maybe with a pool, but the average house price in some of the nicer areas are in the late $600k's. Bonkers. I've been advised to rent over there, but it's dead money, isn't it? Where are you going to Larissa?
Perth hopefully... but at the moment I'm reassessing everything! We've got about the same amount in equity, but I'm thinking that it could well get eaten up by the costs etc. I think that renting is much cheaper, where I've looked, so it wouldn't be that bad an idea, plus we'd want to check out areas and possibly go interstate if we can't find somewhere we want to settle.
Hope things work out noodle, plus as Elaine pointed out, money isn't everything - circumstances can change pretty quick. I guess if we do end up coming back, the kids will both be older and I'll be able to get a job - at the moment our youngest is 11 months, so we're on one salary anyway.
Larissa
$600 K sounds alot - maybe they're the swankier burbs.
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Old Oct 16th 2003, 12:10 pm
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£55k may not be a lot but is would be enough to buy a cheap home in a cheap area, at todays exchange rate that is about $133k.

why not buy a home when you arrive, live there untill you find jobs/area you want to live then get a mortgage for your new place and pay your mortgage using the rent from the first house.

or you could always sell the first one and move on?

this is something we have looked into but we have decided to do a self build.

 

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