griffinfamily

Hi
Just after a bit of advice we've been in australia since aug 05, we moved to a rural town in victoria to be near my sister and family unfortunately that didn't work out so we moved over to Perth, Port Kennedy! It is lovely here and all settled well except our 15 yr old!

He plays soccer sunday morn trains tues and thurs also has guitar lessons on tues, ok he has better social life than us at he moment but the rest of the time saturdays mainly he lols around the house i keep"nagging" him to make arrangements with his mates but he just shrugs his shoulders and says he had loads of mates in uk and vic.

Please someone tell me it gets better and he will return to the happy boy he once was, any advice would be gratefully received!



Thanks
Nicky

Courtney

I know all about being moved from pillar to post!!!

I was born in Oz and my parents brought me to the Uk when I was nine. I went to boarding school and though I didn't like moving, I was ok. At 14 my dad went back to Oz for a holiday and came back to the UK saying he wanted to go home. So, we up sticks and moved again, though to me it was great, because I was going home.

Well, due to the lack of aviation jobs at the time my dad couldn't get a job as a pilot so he reapplied to the RAF and they said yes. So, at the horrible age of 16 I was taken BACK to the UK. As you can imagine I was distraught. I remember telling them I was going to run away and I do believe I locked myself in the toilet at the airport too. 15 and 16 are such a tender age. I had made my friends in Oz again and the last thing I wanted to do was move all the way back to the UK. I actually cried non stop from Melbourne to Singapore. We were going to stay 2 nights in SIN but due to the fact I was not interested in the sights of SIN in the slightest at that age my mum cganged the flight to just get us back to the UK.

Anyway, I can empathise with your son completely but he will get through it. It will take a while as he has moved around quite a bit and it is hard to make friends initially though ou say he has got mates. He will come around, trust me. Just be there for him and understand what he is going through. I am now 31 and I am on my way back to Oz for good. I have to start all over again and make new friends but hey, I have been there before!!

Things will get better and he will, in time settle down and start to enjoy his new life. If he wants to return to the UK, he can do in a few years, it's not that long.

All the best

Courtney

devonfolk

Hi Nicky,

maybe he's just feeling really unsettled two moves in such a short time must be hard.
we are just getting ready to move over to mandurah with our 15 and 11 year old girls who are excited but also apprehensive. the 15 year old lives for her mates so she will be in the same position i'm sure when we get there.

time is a great thing and once he gets a girlfriend you won't see him for dust
sorry not much help but teenagers not easy anywhere.
by the way where in Devon you from were in Ivybridge?

Anita

Margaret2

Nicky, can really, really sympathise , we are getting ready to move with our teen and 7 year old. Trouble is we started all this when she was 13, never for one minute thinking it would take this long, and she will be 15 when we move

I am getting my courage up to have the 'big talk' with her and i basically will be saying, I know its going to be tough, but you will have to make a go of it when your there, i won't be able to do that for you, its up to you make it or be miserable, but i would advise you to try to make it work for you.

Easy to say i know and don't think i haven't had lots of heart break about it, search my threads, in just about everyone my main concern is my lovely teenage daughter, but I've came round to having a tough frame of mind, she will have to make the best of it herself and try just as hard as we will.

good lucky nicky, also am sure you will be able to get in touch withe teens via this website, have you looked at the youth club bit, you may make contact there, probably if he met other teens in similiar postion it may help (may not , mind you), but its worth a try.

Irish Aussie Teen

Hey nicky
Well im only 13 and found the move hard leaving friends/ family etc but i know i just need to get on with life but that doesnt mean forgetting everyone at home. I have a way better life here more things to do better weather everything! I still miss my mates at home but when we apply for citizen ship i plan to get a dual citizenship so i can go back and forth to irelad and here no problen! It means i could live in ireland for my year after high school and then come back with out any problems with visas etc!
Hope that helped!
If he wants he can chat to me on msn! pm me and i will give u my address if he wants it!
Shannon xxx

cranni

Ditto, I Too was taken back to the UK kicking and screaming, me and my older sister locked ourselves in the airport toilets. This was in the 70s, I always said i would return and it took me to be 45 to get here due to circumstances.
All the very best to you.
Denise

griffinfamily

Hi
Thanks to you all, im sure he will be fine, we've had a look at the youth club area of this site i just need to convince him to put a thread on there!

He done so well in wodonga i thought a move to WA would be fine!

Devonfolk; we lived in Bideford

Irish Aussie Teen; thanks ill pm you his msn, we've explained about him getting citizenship then he can come and go as he wants although i expect his mates will want to come over travelling!

Margaret 2; Good Luck with your teen where are you heading?

Courtney and Cranni; Im sure you've grown into levelheaded adults! Thanks for the info.

Nicky

cranni

Thanks Nicky, by the way, we moved here 18 months ago, 12 yr old hated it, after 2 months he liked it 20 %, after 6 months 50%, now he would be upset if he had to go back, he is very placid and a bit of a loner, but he is ok.
My nearly 20 yr old daughter came out 12 months ago, it took her about 6 months to settle, hard work i tell you, one day i told her i would get her a ticket back as i could not take any more, she really took the p....sss.
Any after that she grew up (a bit), and is off on a adventure to Melbourne in a couple of weeks, and is having a ball. Im sure he will be fine, you are doing all the right things.
Denise

Chef69

Can I suggest to all of you coming over here with teenagers,try and decide what school your going to send them to first. Then contact the school asking them if they can help you with e-mail buddies for children of the same age and sex. The schools are most obliging. I did this for my 17 and 11 yr old . So before they arrived they had been in contact with at least five girls each. When we landed our eldest was in Perth city two days later with her new friends and our younger daughter started school to find her new pals had kept a seat for her beside them. I realise that this means more or less making a decision on where to settle ,but for the sake of a happier child it maybe worth considering.
I'm sorry that I can't suggest anything for the teenager already here. I suppose just grit your teeth and ride the storm. They usually become happier here.



Ps Cranni, I lost you no. can you e-mail it to me so I can give you a call. Thanks for all the comic relief.

VanessaB

Hi
I am haveing simerlar problems with my 16 year old son we are still waiting on the visa but he has now decided he doesnt want to come and leave his friends and family he even ran away at the weekend to his grandmas said he wasnt coming back because he was sick of hearing about Austraila and that we dont listen to him got quite upset about it. We have never pushed the subject with him just thought he was happy about going as we are and our daughter who is 12 cant wait none of us have ever been for a holiday but we have cousins all over and we are going to stay with them in Melbourne when we get there i have just asked them if we can send our son out for a 4 week holiday so he can see what it is like 2 weeks in Melbourne and 2 in Sydney with his other cousins i am hopeing he will change his mind dont think i could go and leave him here to me he is still my baby really dont know what to do
Sorry if i have rambled on (one very unhappy mum )

Vanessa

Thanks

moneypenny20

We seriously considered this, but then realised that there was no way we could decide on schools without actually visiting them first. I did get in contact with one school and they agreed they would get some people to contact my first born, but also warned that it could be even more upsetting if she made friends and we then ended up somewhere completely different, so in the end we didn't go this route and in the end the school were right as we ended up about 30k away from the original school.

However, if you have done a reccie and chosen the school between you all, then the buddy idea is a brilliant one.

My eldest really struggled, was adamant she didn't want to come but has eventually settled well and made friends. Obviously still misses UK friends but chats to them every morning before school and she is OK now.

sj oldfield

He plays soccer sunday morn trains tues and thurs also has guitar lessons on tues, ok he has better social life than us at he moment but the rest of the time saturdays mainly he lols around the house i keep"nagging" him to make arrangements with his mates but he just shrugs his shoulders and says he had loads of mates in uk and vic.

Please someone tell me it gets better and he will return to the happy boy he once was, any advice would be gratefully received!



What about people from soccer, can you perhaps arrange a couple of 'barbie' nights just to encourage stronger friendships.
I also have a 15 year old. he is very happy here in Wa, however that doesnt stop him mooching about with a face like a lump of poo!!!

nightnurse2

Please don't tell me that is what I've got to look forward to LOL