Heartache started again
Jan 11th 2005, 12:10 am
#1
I never gave up trying
Thread Starter
Joined: Nov 2003
Location: Belair, S.A.
Posts: 86
Heartache started again
I'm due to fly out to Oz on my own on Feb 24th...leaving party the week before on the 18th Feb...my family and I are realising that time is moving on so quickly and the heartache of leaving them is building up...Oz seems to appear everywhere now.....tv, papers, adverts?? Dad seems to be looking at me longer these days and quietly sighs to himself....Mum giving me an extra long hug when I'm just going to work?.....I catch the last plane out of Heathrow at 10:15pm - All family coming down to see me off(my request).
How will I cope?
I guess this is the worst part of the process?? The hardest part is when I have to leave them in departures and be on my own during the travel! Family meeting me at the other end, but I know once I'm in Oz I have to kick into action and get things going for myself and get established. Its just the saying of goodbyes and journey out on my own
Soz just on abit of a downer at mo about the thought of leaving them
How will I cope?
I guess this is the worst part of the process?? The hardest part is when I have to leave them in departures and be on my own during the travel! Family meeting me at the other end, but I know once I'm in Oz I have to kick into action and get things going for myself and get established. Its just the saying of goodbyes and journey out on my own
Soz just on abit of a downer at mo about the thought of leaving them
Jan 11th 2005, 12:17 am
#2
part-time Visa Angel!
Joined: Oct 2003
Location: half marathon runner!
Posts: 4,458
Re: Heartache started again
Hi there - you're entitled to be on a downer, it makes you pretty much a normal immigrant I think! I thought I would be in floods of tears at the airport, but I kept it together for my family. I admit, once through passport control I went into the toilets, locked myself into a cubicle and spent a minute or ten trying to compose myself... but thats just between you and me 
It is hard, well I think it is, so dont think its not, but once you get here, and you're a bit settled you can start to plan on their visits across. You'll be building yourself a new life, and email/webcams/phonecards are an immigrants best friend at these times.
Try to keep smiling - you're not alone in how you're feeling I'm sure
It is hard, well I think it is, so dont think its not, but once you get here, and you're a bit settled you can start to plan on their visits across. You'll be building yourself a new life, and email/webcams/phonecards are an immigrants best friend at these times.
Try to keep smiling - you're not alone in how you're feeling I'm sure
Jan 11th 2005, 12:20 am
#3
Madwoman
Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Cranbourne North
Posts: 92
Re: Heartache started again
Originally Posted by gunnercaz
I'm due to fly out to Oz on my own on Feb 24th...leaving party the week before on the 18th Feb...my family and I are realising that time is moving on so quickly and the heartache of leaving them is building up...Oz seems to appear everywhere now.....tv, papers, adverts?? Dad seems to be looking at me longer these days and quietly sighs to himself....Mum giving me an extra long hug when I'm just going to work?.....I catch the last plane out of Heathrow at 10:15pm - All family coming down to see me off(my request).
How will I cope?
I guess this is the worst part of the process?? The hardest part is when I have to leave them in departures and be on my own during the travel! Family meeting me at the other end, but I know once I'm in Oz I have to kick into action and get things going for myself and get established. Its just the saying of goodbyes and journey out on my own Soz just on abit of a downer at mo about the thought of leaving them
How will I cope?
I guess this is the worst part of the process?? The hardest part is when I have to leave them in departures and be on my own during the travel! Family meeting me at the other end, but I know once I'm in Oz I have to kick into action and get things going for myself and get established. Its just the saying of goodbyes and journey out on my own
Soz just on abit of a downer at mo about the thought of leaving themI know how you feel, it took me nearly 4 yrs to finally leave the UK and my hubby's family and it wasn't easy. The hugs goodbye and the tears......we miss them everyday, but realise that we have to live our dreams and our dream was Australia. It is never easy to say goodbye but look at it another way, its not goodbye but see you soon, when they all come to see you over here and its HELLO to a new life and adventure. My best friend dropped us of at the airport and she gave me a pressie....the little book of courage.....i look at that when i feel down, when i am missing everyone and feeling low. Surround yourself with the positive and get a fire burning in your belly for the adventure you are going to undertake, even though the ride may not be smooth once you get here!
Good luck and remember its never goodbye!
Kate
Jan 11th 2005, 12:51 am
#4
Moved out bush!
Joined: Nov 2003
Location: Chittering WA
Posts: 1,093
Re: Heartache started again
Look forward to their holidays over here, you'll be rushed off your feet, dragged all over the place, your home invaded. You may be silently glad when they go back to the UK so you can have a break.
We are looking at the first visit from the in-laws and they have even made their usual 4 weeks 5 for some extra time with us.
I get the niggling feeling after 5 weeks I will need a holiday myself. But thats all part of moving to OZ, endless queues of relatives arriving on holiday, believe me you will never be alone!
Jenny
We are looking at the first visit from the in-laws and they have even made their usual 4 weeks 5 for some extra time with us.
I get the niggling feeling after 5 weeks I will need a holiday myself. But thats all part of moving to OZ, endless queues of relatives arriving on holiday, believe me you will never be alone!
Jenny
Jan 11th 2005, 4:49 am
#5
Forum Regular
Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Airlie Beach
Posts: 130
Re: Heartache started again
I came over in October and the day at the airport will never leave me, but it does get better.
For 3 years since I met my Aussie partner, I was getting my family ready for me to come and live here in Oz. I was the one who kept things together especially in the lead up to going. I always had an answer and a smile to every negative question or point of view my parents would give me. On top of it all my younger sister announces that she is having a baby (due on saturday), the first in our family.
I wouldnt let them see how sad and unhappy I was about leaving, but took every opportunity to subtly spend more time with them all and talk over how much I was in love with this guy etc.
My family throw a huge party for us 4 days before we went and thats when it hit me. Until then it felt like someone elses life and you are too busy organising your visa, shipping etc to think about it too much once the decision has been made.
I kept myself together all day and finally broke down saying goodbye to them all at the departure gate. Seeing the people that I love the most so upset and knowing that it was me that caused it, was heartbreaking. Everyone was crying and the last thing I saw before going through the departure gate was my little sister, 7 mths pregnant, holding onto her belly with one hand and mopping up the tears with the other hand. That is now etched in my memory forever.
I cried most of the way on the flight. I couldnt stop. They had written me cards and letters which I opened, but still havent been able to read properly!
But, as said before, it gets easier and you have to throw yourself into trying settle down in your new country. Theres so much to organise and do this end that it does keep you busy. You need to remind yourself regularily that you have made the move for your own reasons. You have to live your own life.
There are days when I feel myself thinking about it and do get quite sad, but then I ring home or I mail them. At the end of the day, there are far worse things happening in the world than us feeling homesick.
Good luck with the move, and dont think about the negative things too much, think about your new future. Family is more than just some people living in the same house or the same country, its about the unconditional love that is given and felt when you think about them. Its about loving and caring for them always, even if its not in person.
Liz
For 3 years since I met my Aussie partner, I was getting my family ready for me to come and live here in Oz. I was the one who kept things together especially in the lead up to going. I always had an answer and a smile to every negative question or point of view my parents would give me. On top of it all my younger sister announces that she is having a baby (due on saturday), the first in our family.
I wouldnt let them see how sad and unhappy I was about leaving, but took every opportunity to subtly spend more time with them all and talk over how much I was in love with this guy etc.
My family throw a huge party for us 4 days before we went and thats when it hit me. Until then it felt like someone elses life and you are too busy organising your visa, shipping etc to think about it too much once the decision has been made.
I kept myself together all day and finally broke down saying goodbye to them all at the departure gate. Seeing the people that I love the most so upset and knowing that it was me that caused it, was heartbreaking. Everyone was crying and the last thing I saw before going through the departure gate was my little sister, 7 mths pregnant, holding onto her belly with one hand and mopping up the tears with the other hand. That is now etched in my memory forever.
I cried most of the way on the flight. I couldnt stop. They had written me cards and letters which I opened, but still havent been able to read properly!
But, as said before, it gets easier and you have to throw yourself into trying settle down in your new country. Theres so much to organise and do this end that it does keep you busy. You need to remind yourself regularily that you have made the move for your own reasons. You have to live your own life.
There are days when I feel myself thinking about it and do get quite sad, but then I ring home or I mail them. At the end of the day, there are far worse things happening in the world than us feeling homesick.
Good luck with the move, and dont think about the negative things too much, think about your new future. Family is more than just some people living in the same house or the same country, its about the unconditional love that is given and felt when you think about them. Its about loving and caring for them always, even if its not in person.
Liz
Jan 11th 2005, 6:26 am
#6
Dancing Queen
Joined: Jun 2004
Location: Clevehole, Brissyvegas
Posts: 467
Re: Heartache started again
Originally Posted by lizzel
I came over in October and the day at the airport will never leave me, but it does get better.
For 3 years since I met my Aussie partner, I was getting my family ready for me to come and live here in Oz. I was the one who kept things together especially in the lead up to going. I always had an answer and a smile to every negative question or point of view my parents would give me. On top of it all my younger sister announces that she is having a baby (due on saturday), the first in our family.
I wouldnt let them see how sad and unhappy I was about leaving, but took every opportunity to subtly spend more time with them all and talk over how much I was in love with this guy etc.
My family throw a huge party for us 4 days before we went and thats when it hit me. Until then it felt like someone elses life and you are too busy organising your visa, shipping etc to think about it too much once the decision has been made.
I kept myself together all day and finally broke down saying goodbye to them all at the departure gate. Seeing the people that I love the most so upset and knowing that it was me that caused it, was heartbreaking. Everyone was crying and the last thing I saw before going through the departure gate was my little sister, 7 mths pregnant, holding onto her belly with one hand and mopping up the tears with the other hand. That is now etched in my memory forever.
I cried most of the way on the flight. I couldnt stop. They had written me cards and letters which I opened, but still havent been able to read properly!
But, as said before, it gets easier and you have to throw yourself into trying settle down in your new country. Theres so much to organise and do this end that it does keep you busy. You need to remind yourself regularily that you have made the move for your own reasons. You have to live your own life.
There are days when I feel myself thinking about it and do get quite sad, but then I ring home or I mail them. At the end of the day, there are far worse things happening in the world than us feeling homesick.
Good luck with the move, and dont think about the negative things too much, think about your new future. Family is more than just some people living in the same house or the same country, its about the unconditional love that is given and felt when you think about them. Its about loving and caring for them always, even if its not in person.
Liz
For 3 years since I met my Aussie partner, I was getting my family ready for me to come and live here in Oz. I was the one who kept things together especially in the lead up to going. I always had an answer and a smile to every negative question or point of view my parents would give me. On top of it all my younger sister announces that she is having a baby (due on saturday), the first in our family.
I wouldnt let them see how sad and unhappy I was about leaving, but took every opportunity to subtly spend more time with them all and talk over how much I was in love with this guy etc.
My family throw a huge party for us 4 days before we went and thats when it hit me. Until then it felt like someone elses life and you are too busy organising your visa, shipping etc to think about it too much once the decision has been made.
I kept myself together all day and finally broke down saying goodbye to them all at the departure gate. Seeing the people that I love the most so upset and knowing that it was me that caused it, was heartbreaking. Everyone was crying and the last thing I saw before going through the departure gate was my little sister, 7 mths pregnant, holding onto her belly with one hand and mopping up the tears with the other hand. That is now etched in my memory forever.
I cried most of the way on the flight. I couldnt stop. They had written me cards and letters which I opened, but still havent been able to read properly!
But, as said before, it gets easier and you have to throw yourself into trying settle down in your new country. Theres so much to organise and do this end that it does keep you busy. You need to remind yourself regularily that you have made the move for your own reasons. You have to live your own life.
There are days when I feel myself thinking about it and do get quite sad, but then I ring home or I mail them. At the end of the day, there are far worse things happening in the world than us feeling homesick.
Good luck with the move, and dont think about the negative things too much, think about your new future. Family is more than just some people living in the same house or the same country, its about the unconditional love that is given and felt when you think about them. Its about loving and caring for them always, even if its not in person.
Liz
Lucy
Jan 11th 2005, 9:43 am
#7
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Nov 2003
Location: Lower Chittering, Perth
Posts: 4,646
Re: Heartache started again
The 'goodbyes' are not easy, it is a bloody nightmare in fact. You will feel slightly better once the plane has taken off. Just try and be strong (says me who bawls over Lassie!!). You will have down days and you will also have good days. Just take one day at a time.
If anything it does make your relationship with your family better??????
When I speak to mum we both always end the conversation with 'love you loads, miss you to bits', something we never said to each other whilst in the UK.
All the best
If anything it does make your relationship with your family better??????
When I speak to mum we both always end the conversation with 'love you loads, miss you to bits', something we never said to each other whilst in the UK.
All the best
Jan 11th 2005, 10:05 am
#8
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,038
So true.................
lizzel
That was one of the best posts I have read in a while................
I thankyou and a bit of Karma
That was one of the best posts I have read in a while................
I thankyou and a bit of Karma
Jan 11th 2005, 10:34 am
#9
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 6,360
Re: So true.................
When it comes to our time we will go to the airport on our own and say our goodbyes the night before. Cant bear the thought of tears at the departure gate!
Jan 11th 2005, 11:42 am
#10
Anna
Joined: Sep 2004
Location: Was Leicester, now Sydney
Posts: 113
Re: Heartache started again
Originally Posted by gunnercaz
I'm due to fly out to Oz on my own on Feb 24th...leaving party the week before on the 18th Feb...my family and I are realising that time is moving on so quickly and the heartache of leaving them is building up...Oz seems to appear everywhere now.....tv, papers, adverts?? Dad seems to be looking at me longer these days and quietly sighs to himself....Mum giving me an extra long hug when I'm just going to work?.....I catch the last plane out of Heathrow at 10:15pm - All family coming down to see me off(my request).
How will I cope?
I guess this is the worst part of the process?? The hardest part is when I have to leave them in departures and be on my own during the travel! Family meeting me at the other end, but I know once I'm in Oz I have to kick into action and get things going for myself and get established. Its just the saying of goodbyes and journey out on my own Soz just on abit of a downer at mo about the thought of leaving them
How will I cope?
I guess this is the worst part of the process?? The hardest part is when I have to leave them in departures and be on my own during the travel! Family meeting me at the other end, but I know once I'm in Oz I have to kick into action and get things going for myself and get established. Its just the saying of goodbyes and journey out on my own
Soz just on abit of a downer at mo about the thought of leaving them
Jan 11th 2005, 12:07 pm
#11
Cup of tea, Father?
Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Underground, overground, wombling free
Posts: 6,895
Re: So true.................
When hubbie and I go we'll be heading off to the airport on our own. We fly on Sunday 13 Feb and will be saying all our final goodbyes (to rellies - all based in Yorkshire) the weekend before. Then it's the final week of work (we're working right up until Friday 11 Feb), a weekend of being a tourist in London (which I've never done before, despite being based in Oxford and visting London a lot to see friends), before getting to the airport and heading off.
Part of the reason we've planned it this way is to avoid the tears and the upset. Although our families have been incredibly supportive (and I do recognise that we're very, very lucky in that regard - my Dad keeps telling me to go quicker because he would if he could!), I think that there will be some sadness when we say goodbye for the final time (for a while, at least). But then we've got a week to really gear up for a big new adventure! That's how I'm thinking of it; that's what's keeping me positive and meaning I'm excited and constantly walking around grinning moronically!
The going to the airport on your own route obviously isn't for everyone. But I do think that positive thinking can help. A while back I was going through similar thought processes - why am I doing this, why cause all this upset? Like you, I started a new post and the positive replies and support I received made me think of all the plus sides, rather than focusing on the negatives. Remind yourself of what you want from life and why you're going. It might not get rid of the heartache at the thought of leaving, but it could balance it.
Good luck,
GG
Part of the reason we've planned it this way is to avoid the tears and the upset. Although our families have been incredibly supportive (and I do recognise that we're very, very lucky in that regard - my Dad keeps telling me to go quicker because he would if he could!), I think that there will be some sadness when we say goodbye for the final time (for a while, at least). But then we've got a week to really gear up for a big new adventure! That's how I'm thinking of it; that's what's keeping me positive and meaning I'm excited and constantly walking around grinning moronically!
The going to the airport on your own route obviously isn't for everyone. But I do think that positive thinking can help. A while back I was going through similar thought processes - why am I doing this, why cause all this upset? Like you, I started a new post and the positive replies and support I received made me think of all the plus sides, rather than focusing on the negatives. Remind yourself of what you want from life and why you're going. It might not get rid of the heartache at the thought of leaving, but it could balance it.
Good luck,
GG
Jan 11th 2005, 3:57 pm
#12
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Hobart
Posts: 336
Re: So true.................
we have also decided to do our family goodbyes a few days before we actually leave- the last night we are going to spend with some close friends and then we are getting a taxi to take us to the airport- I know there will be a lot of upset and I didnt want it at the airport- I want to remember the day I fly off to my new life as a happy one and I think if all our family were there then I would break down and that day would always be remembered as traumatic.
Nat
Nat
Jan 11th 2005, 6:46 pm
#13
I never gave up trying
Thread Starter
Joined: Nov 2003
Location: Belair, S.A.
Posts: 86
Re: Heartache started again
Thanks for all the comforting words folks - It means alot for me! I've been lgging onto britishexppats since Nov 2003 and its sooooo nice to have other people out there who understand what you are going through and how much your comforting words mean to me simply by relaying them on here at the touch of a button!.
Its only when time grows nearer that you realise how much your family mean to you. As I'm going on my own, I shall have only my close family to see me off...looking forward to the big party on the 18th Feb down our local irish centre.....I have even learned the words to "Waltzing Matilda" by the Pogues to name a few for our party sing song!
Some of my mates in Derby/Nottingham will be in for a big surprise(and sing song) when they get down here!!
Once again...thanks for all your comforting words....feeling abit better now.
Its only when time grows nearer that you realise how much your family mean to you. As I'm going on my own, I shall have only my close family to see me off...looking forward to the big party on the 18th Feb down our local irish centre.....I have even learned the words to "Waltzing Matilda" by the Pogues to name a few for our party sing song!
Some of my mates in Derby/Nottingham will be in for a big surprise(and sing song) when they get down here!!
Once again...thanks for all your comforting words....feeling abit better now.
Jan 11th 2005, 8:40 pm
#14
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 975
Re: Heartache started again
Originally Posted by Lucyemma5
What a fantasic post, I found myself getting a bit teary myself when I read it.
Lucy
Lucy
Never before have I had a day that I cant wait for but dread at the same time.....
Jan 12th 2005, 5:39 am
#15
Forum Regular
Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Airlie Beach
Posts: 130
Re: Heartache started again
Originally Posted by sj oldfield
The 'goodbyes' are not easy, it is a bloody nightmare in fact. You will feel slightly better once the plane has taken off. Just try and be strong (says me who bawls over Lassie!!). You will have down days and you will also have good days. Just take one day at a time.
If anything it does make your relationship with your family better??????
When I speak to mum we both always end the conversation with 'love you loads, miss you to bits', something we never said to each other whilst in the UK.
All the best
If anything it does make your relationship with your family better??????
When I speak to mum we both always end the conversation with 'love you loads, miss you to bits', something we never said to each other whilst in the UK.
All the best
Then my family are coming over in June for my wedding. So we will get to see a bit more of each other. After that though, who knows? I kind of made thing a little easier for us all knowing that I will see them again soon.
However, when I am down and I call home, its very difficult to say to my mum that im feeling down, or I miss them or whatever it is thats making me feel down. I know she is dying to say "I TOLD YOU SO"!! My family were supportive, but not happy about my move and every opportunity she gets she lets me know that "it wouldnt have happened in England" or " see Englands not that bad after all"!
Speaking of my mum, shes texting me as we speak! Must have known that I was talking about her! Karma!