raven

Had our meds last week everything seemed fine just waiting for the police checks to come back then the six week wait. Thing is wife is now having doubts. Going to the sunshine coast Caloundra. Starting to have constant arguments she says we have a good life here. what if we fail. FAMILY and FRIENDS would be waiting so they could say told you so Not as if we havent been and dont know what to expect. Finding myself shouting telling my wife to think positive not negative all the time but family & friends keep putting doubt in her head.She wont put the house up until the visa comes in case it is bad luck but i think now is a good time to sell and we can always pull out. anyone else out there been through all this hassle. constant knot in my stomach at the moment
HELP :scared:

mand8002

It is not unusual to have doubts, it is such a huge move. It is hard to remove yourself from your comfort zone and I am sure the family and friends saying things to make your wife doubt the move is not helping. They obviously don't want you to move but they should be supporting you as well and being positive. Yes you can always return and I would not see that as failing, no one can tell if they will settle or not and if the friends and family would stand there saying I told you so then I would not particularly think they are friends as friends wouldn't do that to someone...........family mind you are a different matter altogether!!

ladywithatorch

Try and chill for a few days - -put Oz to the back of your mind for a few days. Maybe just try and do something together as a couple.

It's normal to have doubts - -god knows I've had a few in recent weeks. :scared:- - I would worry if she didn't have doubts! It's an enormous thing this emigrating lark.

I just tell myself that if it doesn't work then you haven't failed - -you've had an adventure. I couldn't live with the "what if's" if we don't try it.

Millions of people never even have the chance to apply and would do anything for the opportunity. It would be almost selfish not to give it a go when you are one of the few who can.

I agree it is a good time to sell - -ours sold in 10 days. I'd rather we'd sold early(which we have - -gonna be homeless :scared: ) than have the visa and be stuck with the house.

Give your wife a big hug and remind her of all the reasons you decided to apply in the first place.

Good luck.

xRachx

moneypenny20

Join the end of a very very long queue Everyone goes through this several times. It is totally normal. I wouldn't put the house on the market until I had the visa personally but lots do, on the other hand, if you have had meds, the visa is likely not far behind and judging by how long houses are generally taking to sell, it would be an idea to at least get a few agents round to value and go from there.

Easier said than done but try to ignore "helpful" friends and relations. They are either jealous or upset they are going to miss you or both. I am sure the majority of them don't mean to be negative although there will be one or two who do mean it

Try and remember what it was that got you started on this journey. It's not the end of the world if after a year or so you want to go back to the UK but IMO it is a bad thing to not give it ago if you feel deep down you need to try. There is no such thing a failure. Your life is what it is, you have the ability to change things during your life but you can never fail because you will simply be taking a different path not the wrong one.

iPom

Yeah, what she said!

And... I had doubts right up to the final bit. Then I had more doubts within the first three weeks, and now it's 5 weeks and I haven't got any doubts at all.

Don't worry, it's normal.

TeresaG

Everyone has doubts I think. It wouldn't be normal not to when you are in the middle of such a huge move. Try not to let people's comments get to you. It is your life and you need to do what is going to make you happy. This is far easier said than done, I know. We are having a bit of a hard time with my husbands parents but we are trying not to let it get to us. We can't do what they want us to do all the time.

If you don't go, you will probably always wonder what it would have been like. My husband and I have had long discussions about it and have been contemplating it for nearly a year before we decided to go for it. I think we need to give it a try otherwise we will spend the rest of our lives wondering.

Perhaps have a few days without mentioning Oz and try and have some quality time together. Remember why you applied in the first place.

Lord Pom Percy

just don't read all the negative posts on "returning to the UK forum" and you will be alright.

iPom

There are negative posts? About returning to the UK? Well smack me with a kipper!

moneypenny20

Was commenting on that the other evening - how we hadn't seen any kippers or smoked mackerel etc Maybe you should be slapped with a barramundi

majortom

Hi Raven,

We where in exactly the same situation as you, after the visa was granted the uncertainty turned to reality....."this is it were going".

Then the rows began about if we were doing the right thing or not, but it was then that we both decided that if we did'nt go, we may have missed the chance of a lifetime.

Many people want to go to Australia and can't because they won't pass the immigration criteria...........we are the lucky ones.

My wife is now in Adelaide with my young daughter, and Im waiting for the house to sell.

My wife had a good job here and was in the last year of a degree, im in the same job I started in 1979. My wife is 46 and I'm 49, we have 4 children and the 2 eldest girls won't be coming with us.

We only got on the mortgage ladder 7 years ago, so at our age we won't have a chance of getting back on it here in England.

But after weighing up all those risks, and the thought of splitting up our Family, we are still going...........

It's our adventure...........my Mum once said to us "are you sure your doing the right thing" and my wife replied "no, but we will never know unless we try"

I heard a phrase recently (might have been posted on here) and it was something like this "better to live with failure than live with regret".

I don't know what the future holds for us, but when Im sitting in my rocking chair looking back on life I want to be able to think that i tried something rather than think what if !!!!!!

iPom

Yeah, but it's just not the same, is it? I'd not thought about kippers actually. Prob not a lot of mackerel out this way...

http://www.centrafinefoods.com.au/pu...3&path=17,1083

Shows what I know.

Toppa

Going by what I have heard of others experiences I would advise you to rent the house out rather than sell it, just yet. If things don't work out then you have a home to go back to, rather than start all over again. If things do work out then you can decide whether to sell it or keep it as an investment. It never hurts to play safe and hedge your bets. Might also reassure you wife a bit.

Good luck

ladywithatorch

Hi. I take the point but it's not the right thing for everyone - -we have sold for 2 reasons.....if we don't then we can't buy as nice a place as we want over there and part of the reason for moving is the standard of living we can achieve due to property being cheaper and getting alot more for your money.

2....I know there will be tough times whilst we settle and i didn't want to leave a "bolt-hole" here that might make it too easy to return to the UK, too soon without giving it a proper go.

xRachx

Toppa

You can get frozen kippers that are imported from scotland. Check the seafood area of the freezers in your local supermarket (Woolies or Coles more likely to have them. Usually Tullys or Findus from memory).

Downies

Hi Raven

Just a quick note from someone who has emigrated twice already! Once as a child when my father took us to Norway (Yes my family are Vikings!), loved it!

Then we emigrated back to the UK as a teenager (gave him a lot of stick, this was more hormones than anything else). This was to take the huge value Norwegian Kroner and start his own business in the UK - which was very successful!

As an adult my OH and I are going for the big leap across the puddle! He was amazed I didnt put up a lot of obstacles etc but as I said I have done it already so not that scary for me - and I dont have to learn another language again. And it has also shown that it is not impossible to go back if you want to.

My parents have emigrated back to Norway again! I think to get away from four daughters! However Ryan Air have started Newcastle to Oslo mega cheap so doesnt get that much peace.

I agree that you are better off giving it a go that sitting in the UK next winter resenting each other for not trying - just be patient with each other for now.