Have you made a t*t of yourself?
May 18th 2005, 10:02 am
#16
redlion
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: Livin it large in the lovely Perth!!!
Posts: 1,743
Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
Great thread! Many moons ago when i was in the RAF working as a caterer, there was a very unfortunate incident where one of the red arrows aircraft based at my unit (Scampton, Lincs) had a malfunction and the pilot had to abandon the aircraft. The pilot was an extremely brave guy because he stayed with the aircraft and steered it away from a village next to the camp (welton) before he ejected from the aircraft.
Although he did an amazing job the aircraft did still hit the roof of one house and the whole front of the house collapsed before the aircraft dumped in a field closeby. When this sort of thing happens at an RAF base there is an ALL SECTIONS emergency tannoy to warn of the incident and respective emergency services can react instantly.
(sorry if this is long but its funny honest!) i was working away in the kitchen not long after the tannoy and one of our civilian mess hands came running through the kitchen, her name was Mary.
As she ran through the kitchen i shouted "eh up Mary are you going to see if your house is still there" Even as the words came out of my tunnel sized gob i knew i had made one of the biggest mistakes of my life. It was indeed mary's house that had been hit and some of you may even remember the SUN (scum!!) newspaper the next day ran a cartoon of mary's husband running naked down the street, as he was in the bath at the time the aircraft hit their house and he ACTUALY floated down the rubble of the front of his house as it fell still sat in his bath! :scared:
Needless to say i was totaly mortified, but i can laugh about it now.
Nev.
Although he did an amazing job the aircraft did still hit the roof of one house and the whole front of the house collapsed before the aircraft dumped in a field closeby. When this sort of thing happens at an RAF base there is an ALL SECTIONS emergency tannoy to warn of the incident and respective emergency services can react instantly.
(sorry if this is long but its funny honest!) i was working away in the kitchen not long after the tannoy and one of our civilian mess hands came running through the kitchen, her name was Mary.
As she ran through the kitchen i shouted "eh up Mary are you going to see if your house is still there" Even as the words came out of my tunnel sized gob i knew i had made one of the biggest mistakes of my life. It was indeed mary's house that had been hit and some of you may even remember the SUN (scum!!) newspaper the next day ran a cartoon of mary's husband running naked down the street, as he was in the bath at the time the aircraft hit their house and he ACTUALY floated down the rubble of the front of his house as it fell still sat in his bath! :scared:
Needless to say i was totaly mortified, but i can laugh about it now.
Nev.
May 18th 2005, 10:09 am
#17
Prisoner of Her Majesty
Thread Starter
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: Chapel Hill, Brisbane
Posts: 838
Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
Originally Posted by redlion
Great thread! Many moons ago when i was in the RAF working as a caterer, there was a very unfortunate incident where one of the red arrows aircraft based at my unit (Scampton, Lincs) had a malfunction and the pilot had to abandon the aircraft. The pilot was an extremely brave guy because he stayed with the aircraft and steered it away from a village next to the camp (welton) before he ejected from the aircraft.
Although he did an amazing job the aircraft did still hit the roof of one house and the whole front of the house collapsed before the aircraft dumped in a field closeby. When this sort of thing happens at an RAF base there is an ALL SECTIONS emergency tannoy to warn of the incident and respective emergency services can react instantly.
(sorry if this is long but its funny honest!) i was working away in the kitchen not long after the tannoy and one of our civilian mess hands came running through the kitchen, her name was Mary.
As she ran through the kitchen i shouted "eh up Mary are you going to see if your house is still there" Even as the words came out of my tunnel sized gob i knew i had made one of the biggest mistakes of my life. It was indeed mary's house that had been hit and some of you may even remember the SUN (scum!!) newspaper the next day ran a cartoon of mary's husband running naked down the street, as he was in the bath at the time the aircraft hit their house and he ACTUALY floated down the rubble of the front of his house as it fell still sat in his bath! :scared:
Needless to say i was totaly mortified, but i can laugh about it now.
Nev.
Although he did an amazing job the aircraft did still hit the roof of one house and the whole front of the house collapsed before the aircraft dumped in a field closeby. When this sort of thing happens at an RAF base there is an ALL SECTIONS emergency tannoy to warn of the incident and respective emergency services can react instantly.
(sorry if this is long but its funny honest!) i was working away in the kitchen not long after the tannoy and one of our civilian mess hands came running through the kitchen, her name was Mary.
As she ran through the kitchen i shouted "eh up Mary are you going to see if your house is still there" Even as the words came out of my tunnel sized gob i knew i had made one of the biggest mistakes of my life. It was indeed mary's house that had been hit and some of you may even remember the SUN (scum!!) newspaper the next day ran a cartoon of mary's husband running naked down the street, as he was in the bath at the time the aircraft hit their house and he ACTUALY floated down the rubble of the front of his house as it fell still sat in his bath! :scared:
Needless to say i was totaly mortified, but i can laugh about it now.
Nev.
Classic!!! Never laughed so much in ages!
R
May 18th 2005, 10:35 am
#18
crazy, sexy,cool member
Joined: Apr 2005
Location: in my new big house
Posts: 1,527
Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
Originally Posted by samnrob2
If there's one thing that us brits are good at - it's being able to laugh at ourselves.
With that in mind, how many of us have made a tit of ourselves recently?
I'll kick off...
Currently work freelance but am starting a full-time role on Monday. With a bit of free time on my hands yesterday I decided that I would drop Sam off at her school and carry on down the M1 to the Gold Coast to practise my body-boarding.
Thought I'd take the advice of a sales assistant in Brothers Nielson who suggested that Burleigh Heads was a good spot to catch some waves.
Set out from the beach on numerous occasions, battling against the onslaught of the waves. Was enjoyable though and did manage to catch my first 'real' big wave.
Got out and had a bite to eat up on the hill over-looking other surfers. Whilst eating I noticed that some surfers were scrambling over the rocks beneath me to get out at a further point (cutting out a few hundred yards of swimming against the waves from the beach).
Slowly but surely they managed it and carried on out to sea.
Now...Sam's advice to me earlier that morning was to not get washed up on the rocks, but here were some guys who were saving themselves a whole lot of energy by scrambling over the rocks to get out to the decent waves.
It didn't take me long to figure that if Sam had been with me she wouldn't have let me attempt it (I'm not under the thumb - honest ). So...
10 minutes later, with a few dozen people watching from where I had previously been sitting, I was stood on a bolder 3/4 of the way out to the further-most rock, board in one hand and fins (flippers) in the other.
Chuffed at getting out this far I then realised that I had done the easy part. Sam's words resounding in my head I figured that I should get prepared to dive in and swim away from the rocks.
Trying to get a feel for the strength of the waves sweeping past my ankles I thought now would be a good time to crouch down with my back to a large rock and get my fins on.
My thinking was that even if a big wave was to come my way, I'd just be pinned against the rock I was leaning on...ooops
Said wave came along and rather than be pinned against the rock, I was pushed up and over it!
Looking like a bit of a tool with one fin in the air and trying to regain my balance I ended up flat on my ass with a few cuts to my legs and hands whilst I could hear a few 'gasps' from onlookers.
Thankfully I was lucky and got straight up trying to regain my 'cool'
Needless to say I started to trudge back towards the safety of the grass verge with the sea water exagerating my cuts, making me look like my legs had been savaged by a shark!
I didn't look up once and proceeded to sulk back at the car, contemplating what a pillock I looked!
It was, however, only my pride that took a battering. My grazes don't look too bad today.
I was heartened to see later in the day (having got changed and cleaned up) another surfer try the same thing. He too came a cropper and went, tail between legs, back to the beach. I chuckled and thought that my fall would have looked far more graceful than his!!
Rob
With that in mind, how many of us have made a tit of ourselves recently?
I'll kick off...
Currently work freelance but am starting a full-time role on Monday. With a bit of free time on my hands yesterday I decided that I would drop Sam off at her school and carry on down the M1 to the Gold Coast to practise my body-boarding.
Thought I'd take the advice of a sales assistant in Brothers Nielson who suggested that Burleigh Heads was a good spot to catch some waves.
Set out from the beach on numerous occasions, battling against the onslaught of the waves. Was enjoyable though and did manage to catch my first 'real' big wave.
Got out and had a bite to eat up on the hill over-looking other surfers. Whilst eating I noticed that some surfers were scrambling over the rocks beneath me to get out at a further point (cutting out a few hundred yards of swimming against the waves from the beach).
Slowly but surely they managed it and carried on out to sea.
Now...Sam's advice to me earlier that morning was to not get washed up on the rocks, but here were some guys who were saving themselves a whole lot of energy by scrambling over the rocks to get out to the decent waves.
It didn't take me long to figure that if Sam had been with me she wouldn't have let me attempt it (I'm not under the thumb - honest
). So...10 minutes later, with a few dozen people watching from where I had previously been sitting, I was stood on a bolder 3/4 of the way out to the further-most rock, board in one hand and fins (flippers) in the other.
Chuffed at getting out this far I then realised that I had done the easy part. Sam's words resounding in my head I figured that I should get prepared to dive in and swim away from the rocks.
Trying to get a feel for the strength of the waves sweeping past my ankles I thought now would be a good time to crouch down with my back to a large rock and get my fins on.
My thinking was that even if a big wave was to come my way, I'd just be pinned against the rock I was leaning on...ooops
Said wave came along and rather than be pinned against the rock, I was pushed up and over it!
Looking like a bit of a tool with one fin in the air and trying to regain my balance I ended up flat on my ass with a few cuts to my legs and hands whilst I could hear a few 'gasps' from onlookers.
Thankfully I was lucky and got straight up trying to regain my 'cool'
Needless to say I started to trudge back towards the safety of the grass verge with the sea water exagerating my cuts, making me look like my legs had been savaged by a shark!
I didn't look up once and proceeded to sulk back at the car, contemplating what a pillock I looked!
It was, however, only my pride that took a battering. My grazes don't look too bad today.
I was heartened to see later in the day (having got changed and cleaned up) another surfer try the same thing. He too came a cropper and went, tail between legs, back to the beach. I chuckled and thought that my fall would have looked far more graceful than his!!
Rob
Thank you for making me laugh and I hope you are ok ha ha ha
Julie
May 18th 2005, 10:43 am
#19
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 406
Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
Originally Posted by redlion
Great thread! Many moons ago when i was in the RAF working as a caterer, there was a very unfortunate incident where one of the red arrows aircraft based at my unit (Scampton, Lincs) had a malfunction and the pilot had to abandon the aircraft. The pilot was an extremely brave guy because he stayed with the aircraft and steered it away from a village next to the camp (welton) before he ejected from the aircraft.
Although he did an amazing job the aircraft did still hit the roof of one house and the whole front of the house collapsed before the aircraft dumped in a field closeby. When this sort of thing happens at an RAF base there is an ALL SECTIONS emergency tannoy to warn of the incident and respective emergency services can react instantly.
(sorry if this is long but its funny honest!) i was working away in the kitchen not long after the tannoy and one of our civilian mess hands came running through the kitchen, her name was Mary.
As she ran through the kitchen i shouted "eh up Mary are you going to see if your house is still there" Even as the words came out of my tunnel sized gob i knew i had made one of the biggest mistakes of my life. It was indeed mary's house that had been hit and some of you may even remember the SUN (scum!!) newspaper the next day ran a cartoon of mary's husband running naked down the street, as he was in the bath at the time the aircraft hit their house and he ACTUALY floated down the rubble of the front of his house as it fell still sat in his bath! :scared:
Needless to say i was totaly mortified, but i can laugh about it now.
Nev.
Although he did an amazing job the aircraft did still hit the roof of one house and the whole front of the house collapsed before the aircraft dumped in a field closeby. When this sort of thing happens at an RAF base there is an ALL SECTIONS emergency tannoy to warn of the incident and respective emergency services can react instantly.
(sorry if this is long but its funny honest!) i was working away in the kitchen not long after the tannoy and one of our civilian mess hands came running through the kitchen, her name was Mary.
As she ran through the kitchen i shouted "eh up Mary are you going to see if your house is still there" Even as the words came out of my tunnel sized gob i knew i had made one of the biggest mistakes of my life. It was indeed mary's house that had been hit and some of you may even remember the SUN (scum!!) newspaper the next day ran a cartoon of mary's husband running naked down the street, as he was in the bath at the time the aircraft hit their house and he ACTUALY floated down the rubble of the front of his house as it fell still sat in his bath! :scared:
Needless to say i was totaly mortified, but i can laugh about it now.
Nev.
I've just spat my cuppa all over the screen.
CLASS!
Scotty.
May 18th 2005, 11:29 am
#20
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 1,672
Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
We were having a meal straight after my grandmas funeral with my family (including my mother the original ice queen) when the waitress asked my husband how he wanted his steak to which he replied 'cremated' oooooppps
he needed surgery to get his foot out of his mouth!!!!!!!
he needed surgery to get his foot out of his mouth!!!!!!!
May 18th 2005, 11:31 am
#21
Account Closed
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 8,441
Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
Originally Posted by RichS
I've got a season ticket for Spurs
May 18th 2005, 1:23 pm
#22
Forum Regular
Joined: Jun 2004
Location: Sydney, Australia
Posts: 169
Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
Only a couple of weeks ago I booked a cheap ticket to france with friends on the Eurostar for first thing thurs morning. Leaving wednesday, I finished work in the midlands , drove down happy as larry for a few days rest, turned up in London at friends house, watching Desperate houswives (the prog) then twigged that I should actually double check check my personal bag.
With the feeling of a ton of bricks hitting my chest Id realised Id left my passport back at home 2 odd hours away. This was at 11pm. Train depart at 8am! So with a tear I asked a friend to come back up with me. we set off for M25 only to be closed, ended up in wales, got back to cov at 1am, forgot to mention to my house mate of my plans, rummaged around for my passport, woke him up & was then challenged by a half asleep lanky streek of p*** in a pair of boxer shorts & golf club in his hand. Before he took my head off I managed to explain who I was (his house mate!). Then set off back to London v. pi**ed off. Realised I had a slow pucture in one of the back tyres, only spare I had looked like a BMX wheel so that had to do. Spent the rest of the journey back with me about 3 foot lower then my mate in the passenger seat. Made it back, got 1 hours kip & made it onto the train much to the amusement of the others. Still getting test saying what a clown I am now.
With the feeling of a ton of bricks hitting my chest Id realised Id left my passport back at home 2 odd hours away. This was at 11pm. Train depart at 8am! So with a tear I asked a friend to come back up with me. we set off for M25 only to be closed, ended up in wales, got back to cov at 1am, forgot to mention to my house mate of my plans, rummaged around for my passport, woke him up & was then challenged by a half asleep lanky streek of p*** in a pair of boxer shorts & golf club in his hand. Before he took my head off I managed to explain who I was (his house mate!). Then set off back to London v. pi**ed off. Realised I had a slow pucture in one of the back tyres, only spare I had looked like a BMX wheel so that had to do. Spent the rest of the journey back with me about 3 foot lower then my mate in the passenger seat. Made it back, got 1 hours kip & made it onto the train much to the amusement of the others. Still getting test saying what a clown I am now.
May 18th 2005, 1:43 pm
#23
Joined: Jun 2003
Location: Adelaide
Posts: 597
Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
Originally Posted by teach
Don't worry Rob, we've all done it at some time or other. My party trick is to fall over fresh air. You think I'm kidding, I bet. I get so involved in "Sarah's World" that I either don't see things or think I see them and fall over anyway.
Andrew thinks I'm mad and walks away from me when I'm scrambling to get up, he gets more embarrassed than I do, lol.
Just remember, 'don't do it again'.
Sarah
Andrew thinks I'm mad and walks away from me when I'm scrambling to get up, he gets more embarrassed than I do, lol.
Just remember, 'don't do it again'.
Sarah
Jumped up and brushed myself off quickly (it was a soft landing as I'm well padded around the posterior
) then carried on without so much as a glance around, just in case any of the neighbours saw me! It would have to be the front lawn too; although there's nothing to fall over on my back lawn, unless you count my own two feet.....Elaine M
May 18th 2005, 3:50 pm
#24
In my own little world!
Joined: Mar 2005
Location: Sydney
Posts: 2,062
Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
Let me count the ways I've managed to make a fool of myself -
In Homebase on Sun, looking at the paint, thinking the Other Half was standing behind me and having a general whinge at him about his being a bloody lazy git and he could bloody help with the painting this time (you get the picture, I'm sure.....only to look round and discover it's not the Other Half but a very amused bloke and his missus - whilst the Other Half is stood canning himself further down the aisle.
Or (my usual party piece) wheeling off someone elses trolley in the supermarket (usually manage this one every couple of months or so)
Or (the most worst one) last year at a posh work do, feeling really nervous, talking to one of the Other Halfs Big Bosses, took a huge glug of wine, missed my mouth and spilt it all down my front!
So, so many ways!!!
Nicky
In Homebase on Sun, looking at the paint, thinking the Other Half was standing behind me and having a general whinge at him about his being a bloody lazy git and he could bloody help with the painting this time (you get the picture, I'm sure.....only to look round and discover it's not the Other Half but a very amused bloke and his missus - whilst the Other Half is stood canning himself further down the aisle.
Or (my usual party piece) wheeling off someone elses trolley in the supermarket (usually manage this one every couple of months or so)
Or (the most worst one) last year at a posh work do, feeling really nervous, talking to one of the Other Halfs Big Bosses, took a huge glug of wine, missed my mouth and spilt it all down my front!
So, so many ways!!!
Nicky
May 18th 2005, 4:10 pm
#25
Is it the weekend yet?
Joined: Feb 2005
Location: Thirroul, NSW
Posts: 1,619
Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
You guys are great, Ive been crying with laughter all day. My colleagues think I've gone potty!!
May 18th 2005, 6:26 pm
#26
Jammy Dodger
Joined: Mar 2005
Location: Not where I'd like to be
Posts: 316
Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
Originally Posted by Anastasia Beaverhausen
You guys are great, Ive been crying with laughter all day. My colleagues think I've gone potty!!
Ditto - didn't think anything could make me chuckle at the moment (bad time - scary health issues) but I underestimated you guys.... and AliMay on her "4 month blues" post yesterday, with her disappearing real estate viewer... been spluttering insanely all day, much to everyone's bemusement. Thank you all and can we have more, please xxxxxx
May 18th 2005, 6:34 pm
#27
Oxygen Pig
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 54
Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
Once again the daughters were playing up nothing really naughty but I was at the end of my tether. I was telling one of them "now if you carry on you are really donna get it", while trying my hardeest to grab her I thought she was behind my back.
We were in a crowded club at the time.
I carried on groping and pulling and finally realised she was in front of me, woops I thought.
I turned round to see a red faced women that I had been groping between the legs, I could have died that day !
To cap it the wife had seen me when she had had a drink. She had her revenge the next day by making me a excellent pedegree chum pie complete with flacky pastry that was very nice !
We were in a crowded club at the time.
I carried on groping and pulling and finally realised she was in front of me, woops I thought.
I turned round to see a red faced women that I had been groping between the legs, I could have died that day !
To cap it the wife had seen me when she had had a drink. She had her revenge the next day by making me a excellent pedegree chum pie complete with flacky pastry that was very nice !
May 18th 2005, 6:43 pm
#28
Forum Regular
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 59
Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
Originally Posted by Nicky & Dave
Let me count the ways I've managed to make a fool of myself -
In Homebase on Sun, looking at the paint, thinking the Other Half was standing behind me and having a general whinge at him about his being a bloody lazy git and he could bloody help with the painting this time (you get the picture, I'm sure.....only to look round and discover it's not the Other Half but a very amused bloke and his missus - whilst the Other Half is stood canning himself further down the aisle.
Nicky
In Homebase on Sun, looking at the paint, thinking the Other Half was standing behind me and having a general whinge at him about his being a bloody lazy git and he could bloody help with the painting this time (you get the picture, I'm sure.....only to look round and discover it's not the Other Half but a very amused bloke and his missus - whilst the Other Half is stood canning himself further down the aisle.
Nicky
PMSLwhen my hubby ( then boyfriend) came home from travelling round oz I decided to surprise him by meeting his flight at heathrow -- I travelled on a coach through the night from liverpool and duly waited for him on flight number blah blah -- then waited and waited and waited --- you get the picture ...anyway no sign so I went to the flight desk to see if he'd been on the plane but they could'nt give that type of info out ..I was really upset inside and simply started blubbing in front of the staff.. they tried to keep a straight face but one of them could'nt help a nervous grin spreading accross her face .. I spent the next couple of hours ringing hubbys mum to see if she had any news but with no luck ..then she rings to say he had been on the flight but had got a long shower when he came off and thats how I missed him (blubbed again)..so I went to the bus station ..only to have missed the coach and had to wait another 3 hours for one (blubbed again)...when I got home HE met Me off the coach and I had totally missed the welcome home party!!!
May 18th 2005, 6:53 pm
#29
Banned
Joined: Feb 2004
Location: Somerly,Perth
Posts: 545
Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
My most embarrassing moment was a few years ago (before I was married)
I was at a nightclub, strutting around thinking I was gods gift. The ladies all seemed to be giving me the eye...... until some kind soul pointed out I had 10 feet of toilet paper stuck to my shoe!
I was at a nightclub, strutting around thinking I was gods gift. The ladies all seemed to be giving me the eye...... until some kind soul pointed out I had 10 feet of toilet paper stuck to my shoe!
May 18th 2005, 6:56 pm
#30
On the Dark Side :-)
Joined: Apr 2004
Location: South Wales to New South Wales!
Posts: 3,065
Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
Fantastic Thread!
Ok here goes:
Last Sunday I was having a lovely lazey day around the house. Usual girlie thing, slouching about in trackies and T shirt! Anyway I pop out to the garage to nag hubby (all very usual so far!) and then as I walk away he decides to do HIS usual trick of trying to pull my trackies down! Now normally I would have them tied at the waist etc etc! Anyway on this occassion they were not tied and as I had been very lazy that day I hadn't bothered with underwear!! :scared: What a sight! There I was stood in the back garden (very communal back garden at that!) with trollies down to my knees and no knickers on. Needless to say hubby couldn't speak for laughing!! LOL
Ok here goes:
Last Sunday I was having a lovely lazey day around the house. Usual girlie thing, slouching about in trackies and T shirt! Anyway I pop out to the garage to nag hubby (all very usual so far!) and then as I walk away he decides to do HIS usual trick of trying to pull my trackies down! Now normally I would have them tied at the waist etc etc! Anyway on this occassion they were not tied and as I had been very lazy that day I hadn't bothered with underwear!! :scared: What a sight! There I was stood in the back garden (very communal back garden at that!) with trollies down to my knees and no knickers on. Needless to say hubby couldn't speak for laughing!! LOL