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Have you made a t*t of yourself?
If there's one thing that us brits are good at - it's being able to laugh at ourselves.
With that in mind, how many of us have made a tit of ourselves recently? I'll kick off... Currently work freelance but am starting a full-time role on Monday. With a bit of free time on my hands yesterday I decided that I would drop Sam off at her school and carry on down the M1 to the Gold Coast to practise my body-boarding. Thought I'd take the advice of a sales assistant in Brothers Nielson who suggested that Burleigh Heads was a good spot to catch some waves. Set out from the beach on numerous occasions, battling against the onslaught of the waves. Was enjoyable though and did manage to catch my first 'real' big wave. Got out and had a bite to eat up on the hill over-looking other surfers. Whilst eating I noticed that some surfers were scrambling over the rocks beneath me to get out at a further point (cutting out a few hundred yards of swimming against the waves from the beach). Slowly but surely they managed it and carried on out to sea. Now...Sam's advice to me earlier that morning was to not get washed up on the rocks, but here were some guys who were saving themselves a whole lot of energy by scrambling over the rocks to get out to the decent waves. It didn't take me long to figure that if Sam had been with me she wouldn't have let me attempt it (I'm not under the thumb - honest :D ). So... 10 minutes later, with a few dozen people watching from where I had previously been sitting, I was stood on a bolder 3/4 of the way out to the further-most rock, board in one hand and fins (flippers) in the other. ;) Chuffed at getting out this far I then realised that I had done the easy part. Sam's words resounding in my head I figured that I should get prepared to dive in and swim away from the rocks. Trying to get a feel for the strength of the waves sweeping past my ankles I thought now would be a good time to crouch down with my back to a large rock and get my fins on. My thinking was that even if a big wave was to come my way, I'd just be pinned against the rock I was leaning on...ooops :o Said wave came along and rather than be pinned against the rock, I was pushed up and over it! :eek: Looking like a bit of a tool with one fin in the air and trying to regain my balance I ended up flat on my ass with a few cuts to my legs and hands whilst I could hear a few 'gasps' from onlookers. Thankfully I was lucky and got straight up trying to regain my 'cool' :D Needless to say I started to trudge back towards the safety of the grass verge with the sea water exagerating my cuts, making me look like my legs had been savaged by a shark! I didn't look up once and proceeded to sulk back at the car, contemplating what a pillock I looked! It was, however, only my pride that took a battering. My grazes don't look too bad today. I was heartened to see later in the day (having got changed and cleaned up) another surfer try the same thing. He too came a cropper and went, tail between legs, back to the beach. I chuckled and thought that my fall would have looked far more graceful than his!! :p Rob |
Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
lmao I wish I had been one of the onlookers hehe!!!! bet it was well funny to watch, on saying that am glad u r ok :)
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Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
I was once flying my paraglider at Newhaven cliffs, attempting the run to Brighton and back. Someone told me the tide was going out. Anyway I was heading off to Brighton when I started running out of lift. I ended up having to land in a little bay, cut off by the waves.
It quickly dawned that the tide was coming in so I had to wade back from bay to bay in chest high water, getting pummeled by waves and walking in to rocks before I made it back to the beach at Newhaven. I felt like a right prat and decided never to believe anyone about the tide unless I'd read the tide tables myself. Another paraglider story, it was my first ever "big" flight at Stanwell Tops in NSW, sort of Sydney's equivalent of Beachy Head. Naturally I was shitting myself, anyway to cut a long story short I was told I had to land on what looked like a tiny pocket hanky of grass in the town below. In the end, my lack of experience meant I landed at speed, down wind in front of a bevvy of beach beauties playing volleyball who all had a good laugh. Next the lifesaver came up to me on a quad bike and bollocked me in front of the bikini clad sheilas. I felt a right plonker. |
Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
I've got a season ticket for Spurs
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Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
Originally Posted by samnrob2
If there's one thing that us brits are good at - it's being able to laugh at ourselves.
With that in mind, how many of us have made a tit of ourselves recently? I'll kick off... Currently work freelance but am starting a full-time role on Monday. With a bit of free time on my hands yesterday I decided that I would drop Sam off at her school and carry on down the M1 to the Gold Coast to practise my body-boarding. Thought I'd take the advice of a sales assistant in Brothers Nielson who suggested that Burleigh Heads was a good spot to catch some waves. Set out from the beach on numerous occasions, battling against the onslaught of the waves. Was enjoyable though and did manage to catch my first 'real' big wave. Got out and had a bite to eat up on the hill over-looking other surfers. Whilst eating I noticed that some surfers were scrambling over the rocks beneath me to get out at a further point (cutting out a few hundred yards of swimming against the waves from the beach). Slowly but surely they managed it and carried on out to sea. Now...Sam's advice to me earlier that morning was to not get washed up on the rocks, but here were some guys who were saving themselves a whole lot of energy by scrambling over the rocks to get out to the decent waves. It didn't take me long to figure that if Sam had been with me she wouldn't have let me attempt it (I'm not under the thumb - honest :D ). So... 10 minutes later, with a few dozen people watching from where I had previously been sitting, I was stood on a bolder 3/4 of the way out to the further-most rock, board in one hand and fins (flippers) in the other. ;) Chuffed at getting out this far I then realised that I had done the easy part. Sam's words resounding in my head I figured that I should get prepared to dive in and swim away from the rocks. Trying to get a feel for the strength of the waves sweeping past my ankles I thought now would be a good time to crouch down with my back to a large rock and get my fins on. My thinking was that even if a big wave was to come my way, I'd just be pinned against the rock I was leaning on...ooops :o Said wave came along and rather than be pinned against the rock, I was pushed up and over it! :eek: Looking like a bit of a tool with one fin in the air and trying to regain my balance I ended up flat on my ass with a few cuts to my legs and hands whilst I could hear a few 'gasps' from onlookers. Thankfully I was lucky and got straight up trying to regain my 'cool' :D Needless to say I started to trudge back towards the safety of the grass verge with the sea water exagerating my cuts, making me look like my legs had been savaged by a shark! I didn't look up once and proceeded to sulk back at the car, contemplating what a pillock I looked! It was, however, only my pride that took a battering. My grazes don't look too bad today. I was heartened to see later in the day (having got changed and cleaned up) another surfer try the same thing. He too came a cropper and went, tail between legs, back to the beach. I chuckled and thought that my fall would have looked far more graceful than his!! :p Rob My classic was when a shop assistant asked me if I knew where Manchester was (I'd asked where oven gloves where) When I replied that indeed I did know where Manchester was, but my accent was Liverpudlian, but I was impressed she had detected the northern twang - she just walked off. Jill |
Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
Originally Posted by RichS
I've got a season ticket for Spurs
From a fellow sufferer... |
Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
Originally Posted by renth
I was once flying my paraglider at Newhaven cliffs, attempting the run to Brighton and back. Someone told me the tide was going out. Anyway I was heading off to Brighton when I started running out of lift. I ended up having to land in a little bay, cut off by the waves.
It quickly dawned that the tide was coming in so I had to wade back from bay to bay in chest high water, getting pummeled by waves and walking in to rocks before I made it back to the beach at Newhaven. I felt like a right prat and decided never to believe anyone about the tide unless I'd read the tide tables myself. Another paraglider story, it was my first ever "big" flight at Stanwell Tops in NSW, sort of Sydney's equivalent of Beachy Head. Naturally I was shitting myself, anyway to cut a long story short I was told I had to land on what looked like a tiny pocket hanky of grass in the town below. In the end, my lack of experience meant I landed at speed, down wind in front of a bevvy of beach beauties playing volleyball who all had a good laugh. Next the lifesaver came up to me on a quad bike and bollocked me in front of the bikini clad sheilas. I felt a right plonker. You see if it wasn't for things like this and the british mentality towards humour we wouldn't have such classic series as Fawlty Towers, Monty Python, The Office, etc! Oh - also to top my story off - when I picked Sam up (having got lost on the way back and taking a 2 hour detour! :mad: ) I told her what had happened and she went into teacher mode... "What did you do that for?" To which I retorted: "Well the other guys were doing it..." Sam: "well, I suppose if they were all jumping off cliffs you'd do that too would you?" And there was me thinking I'd get some sympathy :D Well children...the moral of the story is.... If you mum, girlfriend, sister, wife...or any woman for that matter tells you not to do something, wait until they're not looking or with you and do it anyway :D R |
Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
Originally Posted by RichS
I've got a season ticket for Spurs
No one wants to sign a contract at Leicester :o R |
Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
That would be so funny, but I can see it would be the sort of thing I'd do.
You done well to walk away first time, I'm not sure my pride would have let me. I saw a similar thing at Freshie, where a surfer scrambled across the rocks so he could could get out the back quicker, but timed his jump wrong and ended up being dumped back on land, board in two pieces! |
Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
I recently made the mistake of fussing over someone who I thought was pregnant, but wasn't (two women in the toddler group are preggers, but not this one!). I felt awful, she isn't even podgy... was just wearing slightly baggy clothes.
I will shut my trap in future. :o |
Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
Last summer I was out on my mountain-bike and the weather was so nice I thought I'd take my t-shirt off and get some rays on my back. So I pulled over, took it off, draped it over the handle-bars and carried on. About five minute later, just as the cycle path emerged in front of a small factory (where the staff were eating their lunchtime sarnies), the t-shirt slipped inbetween the wheel and the brakes stopping the bike instantly and sending me cart-wheeling over the hanlde-bars before landing on gravel and shredding my back. Bike was ok, t-shirt was a right-off and I looked a right idiot.
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Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
Don't worry Rob, we've all done it at some time or other. My party trick is to fall over fresh air. You think I'm kidding, I bet. I get so involved in "Sarah's World" that I either don't see things or think I see them and fall over anyway.
Andrew thinks I'm mad and walks away from me when I'm scrambling to get up, he gets more embarrassed than I do, lol. Just remember, 'don't do it again'. :p Sarah |
Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
"Groan"
All this reminds me of a day a few years back when we were driving an old VW kombi around Australia. We stopped off at Robe and after a quick look at the Rough Guide headed to long beach for a swim to cool off and a chill on the beach. I was a little took aback to see a sign saying that if you take your car on the beach to stick to the "hard" sand. YOU CAN TAKE YOUR CAR.......ON THE BEACH! I'll have some of that I thought. Especially as Long Beach is, well, really long. Driving onto the beach with the sound advice from the sign in mind I headed for some "hard sand". Only to be faced with some wet sand where the water was lapping and some dry sand with tyre tracks in it. Can you guess which I went for? Drawing on my years of non beach driving I went for the dry stuff with tracks in it and after a few hundred yards I gradually slowed to a stop and burried my heavily laden, 2wd kombi upto its axels in sand. With no other person in sight I tried to think what Ray Mears would have done and spent about an hour and half trying to digging it out only to re-bury it a few yards on. On the point of exaustion and tears at the thought of my beloved kombi being taken by the ocean a local Ausy guy and his wife tootled down the beach on the hard WET sand and gave us a hand to get it out. He didn't really say anything. He didn't have to, his face said it all. Humiliated, I drove back to the car park. Not to be defeated, Claire (my wife) suggested we saved the day and should still go to the beach to recover, cool down and wash off the sweat and sand. We did and the water was great. I thought to my self I'd have a go at body surfing only to be jacked up by a great big wave and deposited head first in the bloody sand. I spent the next week of our trip in the passenger seat in agony as I couldnt turn my head. Not even to look out of the window. Sorry to drone on but I think I've used this post a therapy for what is a very sore subject. Scotty. A Pommy Tw*t that hates sand. :o |
Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
Don't want to come across as a complete tool but Sam has just reminded me of another of my faux pas' :o
I now know that when an Australian asks you: "How you going?" you go into auto pilot with the response: "Good thanks, you?" The second day in Oz I was asked the above question by a female shop assistant. I thought she genuinely would want to know that I was boiling my knackers off so I replied... "I'm feeling pretty hot today..." Sam mentioned when we were out of the shop that here in Oz the phrase 'to be hot' is commonly meant as 'to be sexy'. I wondered why the girl gave me a strange look when I told her I was feeling pretty sexy today..." - doh! :o R |
Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
Complete T*ts
We spoke to our cousins nr Melbourne to ask which school there kids goto so we can put ours in the same to make it easier, they told us Churchill primary school so we found there email and asked could the kids start in June, we were very pleasanty supprised when the headmaster emailed us back to say YES great but could the kids at the school start talking and making friends via email so that the kids would settle in ok and have friends to goto, "Brilliant" so lots of emails later, i noticed that none of my cousins kids had email through the school??? so i called them to ask why............cos its the wrong BLOODY school.....hahahahahahahahah, their kids goto churchill north. hahahahahahahahahahaha Good job ive not got a visa on my ability to spell.... |
Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
Great thread! Many moons ago when i was in the RAF working as a caterer, there was a very unfortunate incident where one of the red arrows aircraft based at my unit (Scampton, Lincs) had a malfunction and the pilot had to abandon the aircraft. The pilot was an extremely brave guy because he stayed with the aircraft and steered it away from a village next to the camp (welton) before he ejected from the aircraft.
Although he did an amazing job the aircraft did still hit the roof of one house and the whole front of the house collapsed before the aircraft dumped in a field closeby. When this sort of thing happens at an RAF base there is an ALL SECTIONS emergency tannoy to warn of the incident and respective emergency services can react instantly. (sorry if this is long but its funny honest!) i was working away in the kitchen not long after the tannoy and one of our civilian mess hands came running through the kitchen, her name was Mary. As she ran through the kitchen i shouted "eh up Mary are you going to see if your house is still there" Even as the words came out of my tunnel sized gob i knew i had made one of the biggest mistakes of my life. It was indeed mary's house that had been hit and some of you may even remember the SUN (scum!!) newspaper the next day ran a cartoon of mary's husband running naked down the street, as he was in the bath at the time the aircraft hit their house and he ACTUALY floated down the rubble of the front of his house as it fell still sat in his bath! :scared: Needless to say i was totaly mortified, but i can laugh about it now. Nev. :) |
Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
Originally Posted by redlion
Great thread! Many moons ago when i was in the RAF working as a caterer, there was a very unfortunate incident where one of the red arrows aircraft based at my unit (Scampton, Lincs) had a malfunction and the pilot had to abandon the aircraft. The pilot was an extremely brave guy because he stayed with the aircraft and steered it away from a village next to the camp (welton) before he ejected from the aircraft.
Although he did an amazing job the aircraft did still hit the roof of one house and the whole front of the house collapsed before the aircraft dumped in a field closeby. When this sort of thing happens at an RAF base there is an ALL SECTIONS emergency tannoy to warn of the incident and respective emergency services can react instantly. (sorry if this is long but its funny honest!) i was working away in the kitchen not long after the tannoy and one of our civilian mess hands came running through the kitchen, her name was Mary. As she ran through the kitchen i shouted "eh up Mary are you going to see if your house is still there" Even as the words came out of my tunnel sized gob i knew i had made one of the biggest mistakes of my life. It was indeed mary's house that had been hit and some of you may even remember the SUN (scum!!) newspaper the next day ran a cartoon of mary's husband running naked down the street, as he was in the bath at the time the aircraft hit their house and he ACTUALY floated down the rubble of the front of his house as it fell still sat in his bath! :scared: Needless to say i was totaly mortified, but i can laugh about it now. Nev. :) Classic!!! Never laughed so much in ages! :D R |
Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
Originally Posted by samnrob2
If there's one thing that us brits are good at - it's being able to laugh at ourselves.
With that in mind, how many of us have made a tit of ourselves recently? I'll kick off... Currently work freelance but am starting a full-time role on Monday. With a bit of free time on my hands yesterday I decided that I would drop Sam off at her school and carry on down the M1 to the Gold Coast to practise my body-boarding. Thought I'd take the advice of a sales assistant in Brothers Nielson who suggested that Burleigh Heads was a good spot to catch some waves. Set out from the beach on numerous occasions, battling against the onslaught of the waves. Was enjoyable though and did manage to catch my first 'real' big wave. Got out and had a bite to eat up on the hill over-looking other surfers. Whilst eating I noticed that some surfers were scrambling over the rocks beneath me to get out at a further point (cutting out a few hundred yards of swimming against the waves from the beach). Slowly but surely they managed it and carried on out to sea. Now...Sam's advice to me earlier that morning was to not get washed up on the rocks, but here were some guys who were saving themselves a whole lot of energy by scrambling over the rocks to get out to the decent waves. It didn't take me long to figure that if Sam had been with me she wouldn't have let me attempt it (I'm not under the thumb - honest :D ). So... 10 minutes later, with a few dozen people watching from where I had previously been sitting, I was stood on a bolder 3/4 of the way out to the further-most rock, board in one hand and fins (flippers) in the other. ;) Chuffed at getting out this far I then realised that I had done the easy part. Sam's words resounding in my head I figured that I should get prepared to dive in and swim away from the rocks. Trying to get a feel for the strength of the waves sweeping past my ankles I thought now would be a good time to crouch down with my back to a large rock and get my fins on. My thinking was that even if a big wave was to come my way, I'd just be pinned against the rock I was leaning on...ooops :o Said wave came along and rather than be pinned against the rock, I was pushed up and over it! :eek: Looking like a bit of a tool with one fin in the air and trying to regain my balance I ended up flat on my ass with a few cuts to my legs and hands whilst I could hear a few 'gasps' from onlookers. Thankfully I was lucky and got straight up trying to regain my 'cool' :D Needless to say I started to trudge back towards the safety of the grass verge with the sea water exagerating my cuts, making me look like my legs had been savaged by a shark! I didn't look up once and proceeded to sulk back at the car, contemplating what a pillock I looked! It was, however, only my pride that took a battering. My grazes don't look too bad today. I was heartened to see later in the day (having got changed and cleaned up) another surfer try the same thing. He too came a cropper and went, tail between legs, back to the beach. I chuckled and thought that my fall would have looked far more graceful than his!! :p Rob Thank you for making me laugh and I hope you are ok ha ha ha Julie |
Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
Originally Posted by redlion
Great thread! Many moons ago when i was in the RAF working as a caterer, there was a very unfortunate incident where one of the red arrows aircraft based at my unit (Scampton, Lincs) had a malfunction and the pilot had to abandon the aircraft. The pilot was an extremely brave guy because he stayed with the aircraft and steered it away from a village next to the camp (welton) before he ejected from the aircraft.
Although he did an amazing job the aircraft did still hit the roof of one house and the whole front of the house collapsed before the aircraft dumped in a field closeby. When this sort of thing happens at an RAF base there is an ALL SECTIONS emergency tannoy to warn of the incident and respective emergency services can react instantly. (sorry if this is long but its funny honest!) i was working away in the kitchen not long after the tannoy and one of our civilian mess hands came running through the kitchen, her name was Mary. As she ran through the kitchen i shouted "eh up Mary are you going to see if your house is still there" Even as the words came out of my tunnel sized gob i knew i had made one of the biggest mistakes of my life. It was indeed mary's house that had been hit and some of you may even remember the SUN (scum!!) newspaper the next day ran a cartoon of mary's husband running naked down the street, as he was in the bath at the time the aircraft hit their house and he ACTUALY floated down the rubble of the front of his house as it fell still sat in his bath! :scared: Needless to say i was totaly mortified, but i can laugh about it now. Nev. :) I've just spat my cuppa all over the screen. CLASS! Scotty. |
Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
We were having a meal straight after my grandmas funeral with my family (including my mother the original ice queen) when the waitress asked my husband how he wanted his steak to which he replied 'cremated' oooooppps
he needed surgery to get his foot out of his mouth!!!!!!! :D |
Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
Originally Posted by RichS
I've got a season ticket for Spurs
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Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
Only a couple of weeks ago I booked a cheap ticket to france with friends on the Eurostar for first thing thurs morning. Leaving wednesday, I finished work in the midlands , drove down happy as larry for a few days rest, turned up in London at friends house, watching Desperate houswives (the prog) then twigged that I should actually double check check my personal bag.
With the feeling of a ton of bricks hitting my chest Id realised Id left my passport back at home 2 odd hours away. This was at 11pm. Train depart at 8am! So with a tear I asked a friend to come back up with me. we set off for M25 only to be closed, ended up in wales, got back to cov at 1am, forgot to mention to my house mate of my plans, rummaged around for my passport, woke him up & was then challenged by a half asleep lanky streek of p*** in a pair of boxer shorts & golf club in his hand. Before he took my head off I managed to explain who I was (his house mate!). Then set off back to London v. pi**ed off. Realised I had a slow pucture in one of the back tyres, only spare I had looked like a BMX wheel so that had to do. Spent the rest of the journey back with me about 3 foot lower then my mate in the passenger seat. Made it back, got 1 hours kip & made it onto the train much to the amusement of the others. Still getting test saying what a clown I am now. |
Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
Originally Posted by teach
Don't worry Rob, we've all done it at some time or other. My party trick is to fall over fresh air. You think I'm kidding, I bet. I get so involved in "Sarah's World" that I either don't see things or think I see them and fall over anyway.
Andrew thinks I'm mad and walks away from me when I'm scrambling to get up, he gets more embarrassed than I do, lol. Just remember, 'don't do it again'. :p Sarah Jumped up and brushed myself off quickly (it was a soft landing as I'm well padded around the posterior ;) ) then carried on without so much as a glance around, just in case any of the neighbours saw me! It would have to be the front lawn too; although there's nothing to fall over on my back lawn, unless you count my own two feet..... Elaine M :D |
Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
Let me count the ways I've managed to make a fool of myself -
In Homebase on Sun, looking at the paint, thinking the Other Half was standing behind me and having a general whinge at him about his being a bloody lazy git and he could bloody help with the painting this time (you get the picture, I'm sure.....only to look round and discover it's not the Other Half but a very amused bloke and his missus - whilst the Other Half is stood canning himself further down the aisle. Or (my usual party piece) wheeling off someone elses trolley in the supermarket (usually manage this one every couple of months or so) Or (the most worst one) last year at a posh work do, feeling really nervous, talking to one of the Other Halfs Big Bosses, took a huge glug of wine, missed my mouth and spilt it all down my front! So, so many ways!!! Nicky |
Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
You guys are great, Ive been crying with laughter all day. My colleagues think I've gone potty!!
:D :D |
Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
Originally Posted by Anastasia Beaverhausen
You guys are great, Ive been crying with laughter all day. My colleagues think I've gone potty!!
:D :D |
Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
Once again the daughters were playing up nothing really naughty but I was at the end of my tether. I was telling one of them "now if you carry on you are really donna get it", while trying my hardeest to grab her I thought she was behind my back.
We were in a crowded club at the time. I carried on groping and pulling and finally realised she was in front of me, woops I thought. I turned round to see a red faced women that I had been groping between the legs, I could have died that day ! To cap it the wife had seen me when she had had a drink. She had her revenge the next day by making me a excellent pedegree chum pie complete with flacky pastry that was very nice ! |
Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
Originally Posted by Nicky & Dave
Let me count the ways I've managed to make a fool of myself -
In Homebase on Sun, looking at the paint, thinking the Other Half was standing behind me and having a general whinge at him about his being a bloody lazy git and he could bloody help with the painting this time (you get the picture, I'm sure.....only to look round and discover it's not the Other Half but a very amused bloke and his missus - whilst the Other Half is stood canning himself further down the aisle. Nicky when my hubby ( then boyfriend) came home from travelling round oz I decided to surprise him by meeting his flight at heathrow -- I travelled on a coach through the night from liverpool and duly waited for him on flight number blah blah -- then waited and waited and waited --- you get the picture ...anyway no sign so I went to the flight desk to see if he'd been on the plane but they could'nt give that type of info out ..I was really upset inside and simply started blubbing in front of the staff.. they tried to keep a straight face but one of them could'nt help a nervous grin spreading accross her face .. I spent the next couple of hours ringing hubbys mum to see if she had any news but with no luck ..then she rings to say he had been on the flight but had got a long shower when he came off and thats how I missed him (blubbed again)..so I went to the bus station ..only to have missed the coach and had to wait another 3 hours for one (blubbed again)...when I got home HE met Me off the coach and I had totally missed the welcome home party!!! :( |
Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
My most embarrassing moment was a few years ago (before I was married)
I was at a nightclub, strutting around thinking I was gods gift. The ladies all seemed to be giving me the eye...... until some kind soul pointed out I had 10 feet of toilet paper stuck to my shoe! :D |
Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
Fantastic Thread!
Ok here goes: Last Sunday I was having a lovely lazey day around the house. Usual girlie thing, slouching about in trackies and T shirt! Anyway I pop out to the garage to nag hubby (all very usual so far!) and then as I walk away he decides to do HIS usual trick of trying to pull my trackies down! Now normally I would have them tied at the waist etc etc! Anyway on this occassion they were not tied and as I had been very lazy that day I hadn't bothered with underwear!! :scared: What a sight! There I was stood in the back garden (very communal back garden at that!) with trollies down to my knees and no knickers on. Needless to say hubby couldn't speak for laughing!! LOL :D |
Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
Originally Posted by tygwyn
Fantastic Thread!
Ok here goes: Last Sunday I was having a lovely lazey day around the house. Usual girlie thing, slouching about in trackies and T shirt! Anyway I pop out to the garage to nag hubby (all very usual so far!) and then as I walk away he decides to do HIS usual trick of trying to pull my trackies down! Now normally I would have them tied at the waist etc etc! Anyway on this occassion they were not tied and as I had been very lazy that day I hadn't bothered with underwear!! :scared: What a sight! There I was stood in the back garden (very communal back garden at that!) with trollies down to my knees and no knickers on. Needless to say hubby couldn't speak for laughing!! LOL :D R |
Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
A few years back I was travelling in a tour bus through the countryside. Having quenched my thirst with about a 2L of Coke for lunch, I began to realise my bladder was beginning to take strain... so I smiled politely and tried desperately to continue conversation, hoping that we'd be stopping somewhere soonish...
An hour later... I was busting... and trying to smile or hold a conversation was beginning to be impossible... the bus was bound to be stopping soon... Two hours later I knew I was going to explode, so to in desperation I made it to the front of the bus and pleaded with the driver to pull over somewhere or risk the consequences. Amazingly he complied readily. As the bus screeched to a halt, everyone stopped their conversations and peered forward to see what was going on, just in time to see me frantically dive from the bus. Now aware I had a 60 strong audience, I decided to move as far from the bus as possible. I jumped over the fence and ran across the field toward the only visible tree... Oomph!!! and fell headlong into a 6-foot deep trench. So, figuring it couldn't possibly get any worse than this, I did my business at the bottom of this trench, zipped up and climbed up and out... Just in time to hear the barking and growling of at least 3 dogs approaching fast. Realising I was on their turf, I hightailed it back to the fence, leapt over it and was at the door to the bus in seconds. The doors swung open, I stepped in and received a standing ovation from the highly amused 60 strong audience! :o |
Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
On saturday I was booked in to get my hair coloured. Im usually quite blonde but decided to go darker as we are away on holiday in a few weeks and it always goes lighter in the sun.
So im sitting in the hairdressers getting the 2 dark, 2 blonde highlights in the hair and thinking how nice im going to look when its finished. Yep im going to look brilliant. Three and a half hours later i have a full head colour and a cut. Hairdressers asks do u want that dried off???, no its fine i reply im off to have a drink at the pub and wait to be picked up. Hand over the £94.50 for hair and £5.50 tip and leave. Get home and hair is nearly dry. I look in the mirror and im shocked, the fear starts setting in. I jumped straight in the shower and wash the hair about 3 times and feeling a bit better as dye is washing off. I come out, dry it then straighten it. Right away im sobbing im so shocked the brown highlights look black, i cant believe it. My little boy is worried and asking me if im okay. Stop crying and feel sick the rest of the night. I make an appt for tuesday vowing that they better fix it. By this time i have washed it about 20 times so is definately lighter. Get to the hairdressers and he explains that to lighten it he will have to use bleach and it wont be the colour of the other blonde and when i go on holiday it will look white. Yet again start crying in hairdressers with about 3 of them round me. Decided to leave it (actually getting used to it) and getting it done for free after my holiday - result... I know this is a long pathetic story about hair but our hair is very important to us ladies :) |
Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
While in visiting perth we the four of us my partner and 2 kids did a swimming with dolphins trip from Rockingham. It was great very exciting everybody dressed in wet suits all looked the same. Well we had been on the boat for about an hour or so and
part of the group were in the water with the dolphins the rest of us looking on, you get the picture. I put my arms around my partners neck who was looking out to sea so had his back to me and must have been stood there for at least 30 seconds, when I turned my head and saw my patner stood next to me, he just looked and cracked up. I went into shock as the guy I had my arms arround then made eye contact with me :scared: (about 2inches appart were out faces) we kind of just leapt off each other. It was soooooooo funny still laughing now. I apologised and he did not seem to mind but I was realy embassarassed. He was in his twentys and French so did not say alot I probably looked rather old to him. :D :D |
Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
Where do I start?? As my username sugests I am constantly making a total idiot of myself.
Biggest recent one was a shocker. I had got up in a hurry and being a mild day I decided to wear my zip up cardigan as a top rather than layered over something else. Part way through the day I'm standing talking to a collegue and think "hmm I'm a bit hot" so I proceed to unzip my cardigan (forgetting I only had a bra underneath :scared: ) Poor collegue doesn't know where to look and I go the colour of a tomato. :o Other recent Un-Co moments included nearly disloctating my shoulder in the bank by walking away still holding the pen which was attached to the bank counter :o , walking smack into the automatic door which hadn't opened :o :o (to be fair on me the damn things were broken and had been fine that morning) Oh and telling my other half a dirty joke only to turn around and see a Nun was standing behind me!!! :o Other half calls me a S**t vortex. |
Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
Some amusing stories in here. :)
I decided to give Karma to some of those posted, rather than embarrass myself with my own stories :D More karma to follow when I have more available :) |
Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
I took a new job once and a girl in the office decided she knew me from somewhere and we started talking about places we visited/people we might have in common. She mentioned a girl she didn't particularly like and I said 'oh I know her she used to hate me as she reckoned I had a thing for her (at the time) bloke Paul Jones' (names changed to protect the innocent). I then launched into an attack on Paul Jones saying who did he think he was with his stupid bouffant hair and his 80's pencil moustache. She went quiet and told me that she now lived with Paul Jones. I wanted to die.
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Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
Am pretty worried that i have alot of stories about this subject ie me acting the goat all the time
one funny story was at my time at Univerity a few years back in the lovely city of Liverpool. Myself & fellow hardworking (yer right) student friends decided to see how long we could drink for. This lasted for quite a while. On the way back home from such experiment we decided in our wisdom to go home, strip off naked (honestly everything) leave the house & stop the traffic on the main road & have a 100m sprint to the end. All went fine 4 of us stopped the traffic on a crossing, smiled & decided to run (was approx 9pm getting dark). Problem was we split into two groups, one group decided to go down a quiet road & run into a bush (as a group of girls were coming the other way). The others carried on down the road onto the the cross road, then BANG of the guys hit the side of a car & skidded onto his backside for about 10 meters. We all heard the impact & came running. Realising the current state of us we managed to grab parts of bush to cover us & ran to the scene. My pal had literally taken the skin off his backside (not nice view) & Police & ambulance were called. Then we decided to go back home & change into our gear. Big Problem, as we had no pockets & were fairly drunk we forgot the house keys. Friendly people gave us garments to cover us, Police came questioned us, realised it was a prank & wasent intended, laughed it off (typical students) & broke into the house for us. My friend went to hospital, was bandaged up, didnt sit down for 2 weeks & walked like john Wayne, whilst we were embarressed every time we left the house as all the neighbours had witnessed it! There are plenty more that Im trying to remember too.....This is worrying"! |
Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
Originally Posted by angel17796
On saturday I was booked in to get my hair coloured. Im usually quite blonde but decided to go darker as we are away on holiday in a few weeks and it always goes lighter in the sun.
So im sitting in the hairdressers getting the 2 dark, 2 blonde highlights in the hair and thinking how nice im going to look when its finished. Yep im going to look brilliant. Three and a half hours later i have a full head colour and a cut. Hairdressers asks do u want that dried off???, no its fine i reply im off to have a drink at the pub and wait to be picked up. Hand over the £94.50 for hair and £5.50 tip and leave. Get home and hair is nearly dry. I look in the mirror and im shocked, the fear starts setting in. I jumped straight in the shower and wash the hair about 3 times and feeling a bit better as dye is washing off. I come out, dry it then straighten it. Right away im sobbing im so shocked the brown highlights look black, i cant believe it. My little boy is worried and asking me if im okay. Stop crying and feel sick the rest of the night. I make an appt for tuesday vowing that they better fix it. By this time i have washed it about 20 times so is definately lighter. Get to the hairdressers and he explains that to lighten it he will have to use bleach and it wont be the colour of the other blonde and when i go on holiday it will look white. Yet again start crying in hairdressers with about 3 of them round me. Decided to leave it (actually getting used to it) and getting it done for free after my holiday - result... I know this is a long pathetic story about hair but our hair is very important to us ladies :) |
Re: Have you made a t*t of yourself?
I`ve a habit of making an idiot of myself (happens rather a lot!!) One time I was woken up at 3am by a noise in the back garden, I looked out and couldn`t see anything so went back to bed, 10 mins later I could hear someone talking. I again looked out the window and this time there was a bloke standing in my back garden obviously up to no good talking to someone on the other side of the fence. I opened the bedroom window and leaned out yelling very loudly "Please go away you naughty man" *(or words to that affect :D ) and could not understand why the guy just stood there looking up at me. He eventually jumps over the fence in to next doors garden and slips (banging his head on their clothes line) to which I shout "hope that hurt" (may have been more swearing involved though). At this point my hubby wakes up and asks why Im leaning out the bedroom window stark naked!!! Never did catch the guy!!
There was also the time I was working as a cleaner in a school and I got locked in and had to be let out by the police - very embarressing :D |
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