Nico

Having spent the past six months after applying for my contributory parent visa in May(2 kids in Oz) reading everyone's posts and waiting for some sign of life from a CO (no, not a squeak so far) I am getting cold feet about coping all alone. I really envy all of you who are still at that stage where you have a future ahead of you, young kids to think about and someone to share it with. As well as leaving my youngest behind (he says he will probably try and come too after a year or so) and all my friends, I'm leaving my OH, who has kids himself that he wouldn't want to leave. I can't talk to him about it because he gets upset, so I have to keep quiet, and the whole business is driving me nuts. I could even do with a good argument about something!! I just spent the last two days trying to sort out old family stuff, like photos of my parents when they were kids and it's breaking my heart. Please someone tell me that it will all be OK if I hang on in there. I've lived abroad before so in principle that doesn't scare me, but going alone to the other side of the world at this age is beginning to seem a bit deranged. I'm hoping there's someone here who's been through the same thing.

Centurion

Your leaving your partner to migrate to Australia ? Must admit I wouldnt want to talk to mine about that either!

Only you can decide what is right for you I'm afraid and the judgement of some strangers on a forum board shouldnt be an issue.

Perhaps ask youself why you are going and make a list. Compare that to what you have now. Migration may sound easy but it isnt for everyone.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

soldierblue

Hi
My mum will be following us out to Australia on her own although she doesnt have a husband to worry about as she is in the process of getting divorced.

She is finding it quite scarey even though she did live out there for 20 years.
Her main fear is that me and my family wont want to stay and come back after she has had to fork out nearly $30000 on her visa but no chance of that. What swung it for her was she wanted to spend what time she has left watching the grandkids grow up not just see them once in a blue moon.

She is coming out for a holiday with us when we fly out to help out getting the kids there(We have 5. 4 of which are under 4). Whilst she is there she is looking into rent costs, pension and generally getting a feel of what she will be letting herself in for.
My wife has a work friend who has just left her partner to move to new Zealand. She does love him but just didnt see a future for herself here. They are still in touch with each other and he is off for a holiday next year. She hopes he will like what he sees and decide to stay.

I agree with centurion make a list of pro's and con's and at the end of the day Im sure you will make the right decision for you.
All the best to you and I hope it all works out for you.

Mark

saoghalbeag

Hi Nico...I am heading back the other way as a single mum - leaving behind all my family in Oz who will miss my daughter terribly to try to raise her alone in Scotland because that's where my dreams are. My ex is Scottish so my daughter will have family over there BUT they've not been that supportive, whereas my family have been great and I've gone through lots of guilty moments thinking that I'm 'deranged' (rather applicable word!) or worse, that I'm selfish for wanting to follow what my family consider a fleeting, impossible, foolish, irresponsible dream. The idea of leaving the sunny Queensland climes to go live amongst a bunch of 'whining poms' (their words!) is unfathomable to them.

I'm also terrified that I'll go over and 'fail' again, as they believe I did last time (coming home with a baby and an ex is not among their ideas of success!!! ), and have to come back (again) with my tail between my legs. However, trying and failing is better than living with a lump of regret for the rest of your life!!!! You can still salvage something from failure. You don't get anything from regret!

And my family, having seen me perservere over the last 18 months with arrangements to go back and also noticing how miserable I have been, trapped here when I want to be somewhere else, are finally coming to terms with our leaving.

At the end of the day, with this whole 'dual country' thing, someone misses out or even gets hurt. You just have to do your best to make it work for you, and for the people you care about. It's not easy though. Good luck with your decision!

kellyjs

I've moved to Oz with my two teenage daughters, left my b/f of 3 years behind and been here two months. Its bloody hard but It would have been harder to stay in the UK and never realise a life long dream. Go for it, just make sure you give yourself at least 6 months before your emotions stabilise as it will take at least that long I reckon. I'm still very wobbly but I dont expect any more of myself, I keep telling myself its normal to feel like this. All the best to everyone brave enough to jump out the box and follow their dreams I say!

you go girl

Been there, done it, got the tee shirt, making the video.....tehe

I am on my own, came out in Jan, loving it in Perth, working fulltime even though 63, son in Sydney, ex daughter in law and 5yr old granddaughter 30 mins drive away. Have made heaps of friends, as Aussie folk are so darned friendly!!!! Like you, on contributory parent visa, and was absolutely terrified. Only remaining family member, other son in UK is coming out early next year hopefully for good. The only thing I really miss in UK are my friends, but the email, skype, texting etc have made the world a smaller place. My TRUE friends said to me, you go girl!!! And I have absolutely no regrets. Feel free to PM me ir you can email me on [email protected]
Life aint a rehearsal, so go for it!

Nico

Thanks all for your advice, have been doing some thinking over the weekend and realise it's the waiting that makes me doubtful. If I could just go now it would be fine.

I probably sounded heartless re OH, but the truth is he is never going to want to change or move, and spending a month in Oz last year had no effect on him. Since we got together 2 1/2 years ago he's always known that I might go, he just somehow thought I'd change my plans without him actually having to make any effort. And I sure as hell don't see myself still living in London ten years from now.

Will PM you, Suzanne, you have given me inspiration!