clandfam

A guy goes for a job as a blacksmith.

Blacksmith "tell me, have you ever shoed a horse before?"

Employee "No, but i've told a donkey to **** off"

Boom Boom!!

mick n cheryl

When Nuns are admitted to Heaven they go through a special gate and
are expected to make one last confession before they become angels.

Several nuns are lined up at this gate waiting to be absolved of their last
sins before they are made holy.

"And so," says St. Peter, "have you ever had any contact with a penis?"

"Well," says the first Nun in line, "I did once just touch the tip of one
with
the tip of my finger."

"OK" says St. Peter, "Dip your finger in the holy water and pass on into
heaven."

The next Nun admits that "Well, yes, I did once get carried away and I,
you know, sort of massaged one a bit."

"OK" says St. Peter, "Rinse your hand in the holy water and pass on into
heaven."

Suddenly there is some jostling in the line and one of the nuns is trying
to cut in front.

"Well now, what's going on here?" says St. Peter.

"Well, your excellency," says the Nun who is trying to improve her
position in line, "If I'm going to have to gargle that stuff, I want to do
it
before Sister Mary Thomas washes her arse."

Mick (a good catholic boy)

mick n cheryl

And Another

Subject: Black and Pink

A couple attending an art exhibition at the national Gallery were staring at
a portrait that had them completely confused. The painting depicted three
very black and totally naked men sitting on a bench. Two of the figures had
black penises, but the one in the middle had a pink penis.
The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble
interpreting the painting and offered his assessment. He went on for half an
hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of African-Americans
in a predominantly white patriarchal society. " In fact," he pointed out, "
some serious critics believe that the pink penis also reflects the cultural
and sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society."
After the curator left, a Scottish man approached the couple and said "Would
you like to know what the painting is really about?" " Now why would you
claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the gallery ?" asked the
couple. " Because I'm the guy who painted it", he replied. "In fact, there
are no African-Americans depicted at all. They're just three Scottish
coal-miners. The guy in the middle went home for lunch."