Friday 13th-Can the day get any worse?
May 14th 2005, 9:41 am
#46
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Mona Vale, Northern Beaches, Sydney
Posts: 1,076
Re: Friday 13th-Can the day get any worse?
Originally Posted by Dawn
Hi Donna and gang, maybe you can give me some advice too.
I have a daughter who will be 18 next week and a complete angel and a 4 year old who thinks shes 20! which is funny at the moment, but its my 16 year old who causing me all the problems...I think its typical stuff but hubby (not my daughters father) who thinks I should either keep her under lock and key or kick her out!!!
She speaks to me like C***p most of the time, if I ground her she gets ready to go out anyway and if I say I will lock the door she says "go on then"...shes rude to everyone in the house and the atmosphere in the house when shes home makes me so tense I feel like running away or crying.
Ive tried talking to her, then she calms down however never shows that she is sorry and just dosnt seem to care, then 5 mins later does it all again.
Thing is we are hoping to be in Aus early 2006 and shes really excited now my husband says he dosnt think he can live with her much longer because of the respect thing???
Anyway, sorry to bore you all....ive been looking for advice via parentline ect, however dont feel there helping much...just keeps saying sit and listen, stay calm and be incontrol!
This isnt easy when shes shouting, calling us names and slamming doors (i took her room door of last week and told her if she continues to slam things she wont get if back!
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Thanks for listerning, at the moment I cant believe I even gave birth to her and my 4 year old has started copying her!, and my 18 year old feels like staying at friends every night because of atmosphere.
Help.
Dawn xxx
I have a daughter who will be 18 next week and a complete angel and a 4 year old who thinks shes 20! which is funny at the moment, but its my 16 year old who causing me all the problems...I think its typical stuff but hubby (not my daughters father) who thinks I should either keep her under lock and key or kick her out!!!
She speaks to me like C***p most of the time, if I ground her she gets ready to go out anyway and if I say I will lock the door she says "go on then"...shes rude to everyone in the house and the atmosphere in the house when shes home makes me so tense I feel like running away or crying.
Ive tried talking to her, then she calms down however never shows that she is sorry and just dosnt seem to care, then 5 mins later does it all again.
Thing is we are hoping to be in Aus early 2006 and shes really excited now my husband says he dosnt think he can live with her much longer because of the respect thing???
Anyway, sorry to bore you all....ive been looking for advice via parentline ect, however dont feel there helping much...just keeps saying sit and listen, stay calm and be incontrol!
This isnt easy when shes shouting, calling us names and slamming doors (i took her room door of last week and told her if she continues to slam things she wont get if back!
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Thanks for listerning, at the moment I cant believe I even gave birth to her and my 4 year old has started copying her!, and my 18 year old feels like staying at friends every night because of atmosphere.
Help.
Dawn xxx
I hope this moody stage will pass soon, keep reminding your partner about her good qualities and that it is a stage in life that most teenage girls go through, however don't let her get away with treating him like crap, we have the same issues in our house but without the 4 year old,
yesterday was a good day, who knows how today will be?
I have also noticed that our 16 year old is particularly volatile at the moment and I think it is the pressures at school (GCSE year!)
Best wishes Tara
May 14th 2005, 9:47 am
#47
Arrived Perth June 2006
Joined: Mar 2005
Location: Currambine, NOR, Perth.
Posts: 834
Re: Friday 13th-Can the day get any worse?
Thank you,What I find difficult too is the disapline side of things!!!! she dosnt seem to care if I take any of her things away and if I ground her she wont stary in! any ideas on punishments??? 
May 14th 2005, 9:53 am
#48
Forum Regular
Joined: Feb 2005
Location: Queensland
Posts: 46
Re: Friday 13th-Can the day get any worse?
Originally Posted by Dawn
Hi Donna and gang, maybe you can give me some advice too.
I have a daughter who will be 18 next week and a complete angel and a 4 year old who thinks shes 20! which is funny at the moment, but its my 16 year old who causing me all the problems...I think its typical stuff but hubby (not my daughters father) who thinks I should either keep her under lock and key or kick her out!!!
She speaks to me like C***p most of the time, if I ground her she gets ready to go out anyway and if I say I will lock the door she says "go on then"...shes rude to everyone in the house and the atmosphere in the house when shes home makes me so tense I feel like running away or crying.
Ive tried talking to her, then she calms down however never shows that she is sorry and just dosnt seem to care, then 5 mins later does it all again.
Thing is we are hoping to be in Aus early 2006 and shes really excited now my husband says he dosnt think he can live with her much longer because of the respect thing???
Anyway, sorry to bore you all....ive been looking for advice via parentline ect, however dont feel there helping much...just keeps saying sit and listen, stay calm and be incontrol!
This isnt easy when shes shouting, calling us names and slamming doors (i took her room door of last week and told her if she continues to slam things she wont get if back!
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Thanks for listerning, at the moment I cant believe I even gave birth to her and my 4 year old has started copying her!, and my 18 year old feels like staying at friends every night because of atmosphere.
Help.
Dawn xxx
I have a daughter who will be 18 next week and a complete angel and a 4 year old who thinks shes 20! which is funny at the moment, but its my 16 year old who causing me all the problems...I think its typical stuff but hubby (not my daughters father) who thinks I should either keep her under lock and key or kick her out!!!
She speaks to me like C***p most of the time, if I ground her she gets ready to go out anyway and if I say I will lock the door she says "go on then"...shes rude to everyone in the house and the atmosphere in the house when shes home makes me so tense I feel like running away or crying.
Ive tried talking to her, then she calms down however never shows that she is sorry and just dosnt seem to care, then 5 mins later does it all again.
Thing is we are hoping to be in Aus early 2006 and shes really excited now my husband says he dosnt think he can live with her much longer because of the respect thing???
Anyway, sorry to bore you all....ive been looking for advice via parentline ect, however dont feel there helping much...just keeps saying sit and listen, stay calm and be incontrol!
This isnt easy when shes shouting, calling us names and slamming doors (i took her room door of last week and told her if she continues to slam things she wont get if back!
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Thanks for listerning, at the moment I cant believe I even gave birth to her and my 4 year old has started copying her!, and my 18 year old feels like staying at friends every night because of atmosphere.
Help.
Dawn xxx
Dawn,
For what my advice is worth (& I truly don't intend to across as patronising :scared: ) the advice you got from parentline is good. You really have to be the one in control or your a gonna. At the moment it looks like she rules the roost. She really sounds as if she has some major issues in her life right now. Good luck and try and not stress out too much.
May 14th 2005, 9:53 am
#49
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Mona Vale, Northern Beaches, Sydney
Posts: 1,076
Re: Friday 13th-Can the day get any worse?
Originally Posted by Dawn
Thank you,What I find difficult too is the disapline side of things!!!! she dosnt seem to care if I take any of her things away and if I ground her she wont stary in! any ideas on punishments???
'sometimes you have to let her win'
I try to remember this as relentlessly take battle with her, sometimes it is just easier to let her have the last word (even though want to give her a good thump, although she is 5" taller than me and far more punchy!)
Just remember all parents go through this, you just have to take it a day at a time, does she have a grandparent she can stay with. This threat gets us a little way with our daughter because she knows she can't get away with talking to her nan in the way she talks to us.
Only smarties have the answer
Tara
x
May 14th 2005, 9:57 am
#50
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Mona Vale, Northern Beaches, Sydney
Posts: 1,076
Re: Friday 13th-Can the day get any worse?
Originally Posted by achish
Dawn,
For what my advice is worth (& I truly don't intend to across as patronising :scared: ) the advice you got from parentline is good. You really have to be the one in control or your a gonna. At the moment it looks like she rules the roost. She really sounds as if she has some major issues in her life right now. Good luck and try and not stress out too much.
For what my advice is worth (& I truly don't intend to across as patronising :scared: ) the advice you got from parentline is good. You really have to be the one in control or your a gonna. At the moment it looks like she rules the roost. She really sounds as if she has some major issues in her life right now. Good luck and try and not stress out too much.
Stress, uncertainty in the world etc.
Don't forget that most teenagers spend a great deal of time with other teenagers (most of who are all acting irrationally)
Can you imagine going through life with other teenagers?
I am not on the side of a badly behaved teenager but I think it is important to try and see things from their point of view.
Do you remember how hard it was being 15???
Tara
May 14th 2005, 10:18 am
#51
Forum Regular
Joined: Feb 2005
Location: Queensland
Posts: 46
Re: Friday 13th-Can the day get any worse?
[QUOTE=ali south]I agree with this to a certain extent, I think that bad behaviour comes for a reason, not just for the hell of it.
Stress, uncertainty in the world etc.
Don't forget that most teenagers spend a great deal of time with other teenagers (most of who are all acting irrationally)
Can you imagine going through life with other teenagers?
I am not on the side of a badly behaved teenager but I think it is important to try and see things from their point of view.
Do you remember how hard it was being 15???
Tara[/QUOTe
I don't quite understand your drift. My kids aren't that old enough for me to forget what teenage years are all about. My three are 24,23 & 20. I think it is important to see things from their point of view as well. Every generation has their problems...that excuse is a cop out.
Stress, uncertainty in the world etc.
Don't forget that most teenagers spend a great deal of time with other teenagers (most of who are all acting irrationally)
Can you imagine going through life with other teenagers?
I am not on the side of a badly behaved teenager but I think it is important to try and see things from their point of view.
Do you remember how hard it was being 15???
Tara[/QUOTe
I don't quite understand your drift. My kids aren't that old enough for me to forget what teenage years are all about. My three are 24,23 & 20. I think it is important to see things from their point of view as well. Every generation has their problems...that excuse is a cop out.
May 14th 2005, 1:32 pm
#52
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Mona Vale, Northern Beaches, Sydney
Posts: 1,076
Re: Friday 13th-Can the day get any worse?
it is a cop out to a certain extent, the other thing I try to remember is that it is my job to continually educate them my teenager) despite the fact they think they know it all) what is right and wrong, sometimes I feel I need my mum still to do this for me now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
