Re: feeling so guilty
 

Could she come and stay with you for extended visits? My Dad (also on his own) is out here for 3 months right now on a tourist visa staying with us.

Buzzy

Re: feeling so guilty
 

Hi there Mrs Kiwi!

About the extended visits....OH (I think) really hopes this will happen, especially as they are coming up to retirement age. FIL wanted to move to NZ years ago (still does, but another story ;)) so sense that he feels this could be the next best thing, if you get what I'm saying.

Back in the summer, MIL says brings up the topic of "what will happen when were old, we won't be able to come and see you then."

No easy answer.

Saw my parents on the weekend (they live in another EU country, so we only see them twice a year normally) and they asked us outright what we would do when people died. Would we come back?

Wow, what can you say? Ummmmm, yeah of course if we can we will!

I think the idea of putting money aside each month is a very sensible one, although my concern is that if we have children and only one of us is bringing in an "average wage" then we may struggle and then those funds may drop.

Oh wow, this is getting harder by the week! Plus am feeling a little weird :confused: as in previous posts have prob mentioned how our relationship has been. Only recently are we getting along like in the beginning.

"The other thing that helps me is to tell people, especially my mum, that I'm not going "forever", necessarily, as forever is too long to think about. That way, I feel less pressure & less sadness and I'm going to take one day at a time in Oz. If that turns into forever then great. If not, well, we gave it a go."

Well, this really sums it up for me. Who knows if we stay a month, year or decade?

Our neighbours told us about someone they knew, who apparently went out to Aus and came immediately back, knowing they couldn't stay. :huh:

Re: feeling so guilty
 

My Aunt's parents still visit once ever 18 months for 3 - 6 months at a time - they are 73 and 76 :)

Re: feeling so guilty
 

"My Aunt's parents still visit once ever 18 months for 3 - 6 months at a time - they are 73 and 76."

That's great Wendy, I think that's what Sparky Hub would like to happen. :)

How's everything in Adelaide? Hope to be landing there soon :)

Re: feeling so guilty
 

It's all good. It's a bit cooler today thank God, it's been so hot! :D

Re: feeling so guilty
 

OK well beat this - my Dad who as I said has just arrived for 3 months, is 80.

Let's have an "I've got the oldest rellie coming to stay" competition!

I also heard about a family who's last remaining relative emigrated to Australia - aged 95!!!

Buzzy

Re: feeling so guilty
 

I'd join but my parents both died.:(

I think it's wonderful and just goes to show that you can do anything you want if you try, no matter how old you are.

Enjoy your Dad's visit :thumbsup:

Re: feeling so guilty
 

LOL Wendy, I keep forgetting that it's summer out there! Glad it's been a bit cooler for you today. :cool:

Well, Buzzy Bee and Wendy...after reading about your relatives it has made me feel a bit better. I guess if you're in reasonable health, then what's the problem? :thumbup:

I know that my nan, who is in her late 80s would love to fly, but is unable to because of poor health. If she could though, she would and often talks about how so and so wants her to go somewhere and how she would love to. Mind you, my grandfather's job involved travelling to lots of places.

"I also heard about a family who's last remaining relative emigrated to Australia - aged 95!!!"

That's amazing!

Re: feeling so guilty
 

I had to leave my 66 yr old Mum on her own too, so i know how you feel. To make it even worse she fell off a ladder and broke her foot and is on a zimmer frame! (it happened in March but seems to be taking forever to heal)

To be honest i dreaded telling her we were moving here. She knew it was coming, but it didn't make it any easier...plus i remember how bad it was when i told her i was moving out of home for the first time (aged 27 lol!!)

But the reality once we got here was fine. We phone each other once a week to catch up and it's fine to be honest. Much better than i thought it would be, so maybe it will work out for you too?

Re: feeling so guilty
 

Good advice, DJ Nee, I think the wrench of leaving my mum will be the worst bit and hopefully daily life in Oz will make me feel a bit more normal.

Buzzy; great to hear from you. Good on your dad coming to stay with your for 3 months at age 80, eh? Can't you work on him and get him to stay permanently?!! Hope you wife and the two little 'uns are doing well.
PS; if your dad is 80 how old does that make you??!!!!!!!!!! Only joking!!

Sparky Wife - things aren't easy eh? Just keep taking one day at time and hopefully everything will work out for you guys, us, and everyone else who is suffering from guilt. I suppose the fact that we feel guilt means that we're decent people.

Keep the "eldest relative to visit" competition going please - in fact I'm going to start another thread on that as I think that was a great idea, Buzzy, and may be an inspiration for my mum and Sparky Wifes in laws if we show it to them!

Re: feeling so guilty
 

Unfortunately the visa you and me are on does not allow us to sponsor other family members :(

38 if you must ask..... :D

Buzzy

Re: feeling so guilty
 

You're just a young whipper snapper! I've got great admiration for your dads spirit and get up and go. He sounds like a great man.

Re: feeling so guilty
 

Yeh probably has more get up and go than me...........

Buzzy