Feeling Low in Perth
 

After all the excitment of coming here, having been here three weeks, I am feeling low.....really low in a really odd way. I can't say I don't feel at home here, as I do, I cant say I feel out of place in my new job as I feel like I have been here forever......maybe thats where the problem is.

Maybe its as I arrived on Friday night, started work on that Monday.....that I found my apartment on a lunchbreak, that I haven't had time to organise my medicare card, my cable, my broadband, my life. I haven't seen anywhere and I have been stuck, straight in at the deep end and I feel just totally exposed. I keep getting emails from a colleague who looks after our timesheet system snipping at me as I filled it in incorrectly and I just want to shout GIVE ME A BREAK, IVE JUST ARRIVED AND HAVENT EVEN BEGUN ADJUSTING AS I HAVENT HAD TIME TO BREAK WIND!!!

I presume its normal, people always tell me that its hard, wasnt sure how it would be hard for me as I was glad to see the back of the UK and my job....well this is my job and I do love it.....I just feel very raw I guess.

Is it normal? I know I havent made any friends yet, but I know its not loneliness as I am quite happy in my own company.....but I just feel....well odd.

Anyone know what the hell I am talking about or am I sounding like a manic?

:scared:

Re: Feeling Low in Perth
 

hello! are you on your own or family with you?
We have been here 5 months nearly and we are still in the settling in period. People tell us it will take 2 years or more to feel at home :eek:
I know what you mean about feeling down. I have my good days and bad days.
I think what it is with some of us why we feel down is because our expectations are not met upon arrival of Perth. I thought i would be morgage free, big house etc....complete opposite infact, so that gets me down. Money problems- which we never had in UK

The simple small things get you down, it is hard work in Perth to get anywhere as it isn't called WA for nothing (wait awhile)

Obviously it is very early days for you and like many on here you will struggle at first, but eventually things will calm down.

Where in Perth are you staying?

Re: Feeling Low in Perth
 

Hi Amanda
You don't sound like a maniac and I know exactly how you feel and what you're talking about. Pretty much everyone here will do too.

I think that leaving the UK is a big job, and even when you've arrived here, you're still leaving there! Things like sorting bank accounts or transferring money or filling in time sheets or whatever, keep you inextricably 'linked' to the UK or wherever people have come from.
There are huge expectations and hopes from everyone you know, you're meant to be keeping in touch, you need somewhere to stay and you have to tell everyone your new address, your parents worry, you get emails from people at 'home' wondering how you are and the pressure is on, to keep up and appear like a responsible adult, whilst only just recovering the jet lag, orientating yourself in an entirely new country and area, making friends, starting work, finding your way around the shops.... It's all HUGE!

My only advice to you is really think about why you came here... because I guess that part of that reason would have been to change your way of life a little... It seems hard to be able to focus on that in the first 6 weeks of being here, because it does zip by in a rush of organisation, but whilst this is all happening, time for yourself goes down the pan.
I think you need a break, so how about a walk on the beach or in the bush, a trip somewhere this weekend, a nice drink with whoever, a good dinner out, slow down the pace and remember to do something really good for yourself.
Medicare can wait, emails can wait, change of address can wait, phone calls can wait....
Just let it all go for the weekend and take some time to really just take stock of where you are and what you're doing. Take a look at this beautiful place and enjoy the smells, sights and sounds of where you are...

It will get better and before you know it, you'll be right at home.

x

Re: Feeling Low in Perth
 

Thanks guys,

I am here on my own, which isn't so bad as I am rather happy in my own company but iPom you are so right, the finding some time to see the reason I came here, to walk along the beach, buy a bike so I can explore, visit Kings Park, go scuba diving on a whim instead of organising a two week holiday to do it.

I got a cute apartment straight opposite Harbour Town which is so handy, but being Harbour Town is the only thing I have seen so far....guess part of that is why I feel the grumps and hopefully the rest is just natural adaptation.

I guess a combination of being thrown in at the deep end at work where I have had such a hectic schedule, the pressure is high and then not actually being able to 'move in' to my new house and get settled, not able to get out and about....so this weekend, I am going to make my wekeend, to go to the beach, to go to the aquarium and zoo if I feel like.

I guess so far I have only seen the downs...trying to find decent fruit and veg (anyone have any clues where to get sugar snap peas that arent frozen?) trying to find somewhere to buy a pint of milk in an evening or weekend morning......all the downs of when you move, trying ot get anywhere, trying to buy things, trying to find a supermarket that isnt a million miles away.

I guess yes, we are sold the fairytale to get us here as professionals. I remember it was shorter days, very laid back attitudes and a much better quality of life, that if something cost 3 pound in the UK it would cost 3 dollars here.....all the myths....then here the food is more expensive than the UK, the houses are slightly cheaper but my salary is less than half converted......however, I dont want to go home and I want to be here, but I think I just havent had the time to see the good bits and enjoy myself.

Long weekend this weekend though.........so glad to hear that I havent gone mad, its not actually a state of mind I do (the grumps), so it is a little odd.

Thanks so much for replying.........I guess I needed to know it wasnt as I actually hate it here...as I knew in my heart I didnt

Re: Feeling Low in Perth
 

I'm on the other side to you Amanda, so I don't know Perth very well, but this side, fruit and veg tend to be got from fruit and veg places, rather than a supermarket...Service stations are good for emergency supplies, like milk, just like the UK... then some supermarkets are open until later too... Check them out on the internet first if you're not sure of your local store's opening times.
Maybe spend a day exploring a bit more further afield this weekend. Also, ask your neighbours where they shop for such stuff. If I'm stuck I always ask, and Aussies are such a nice lot, they'll soon help you out. Don't be shy. :)
I haven't found a great difference in the food prices between the UK and here, but then I don't buy a lot of processed foods, so I can't tell on those things. I don't think it's more expensive here, but then I have had time to find good suppliers and to really shop around for the best offers... You'll get into the swing real soon.

I hope you have a lovely weekend. Stick around and if you need help, there are loads of Westies on here. ;)

Be kind to yourself... x

Re: Feeling Low in Perth
 

Thanks iPom (about the best name ever I have to say). Its funny one of the girls here on reception had noticed I hadn't stopped since arriving from not only finding my apartment in a half hour break in my schedule, to moving in in a half hour break in my schedule....to rushing to the dentist for root canal (sore tooth last week....yuk), to letting a Brit girl who I flew over with crash in my spare room for 8 weeks whilst she is in Perth as she hated the hostel at Northbridge etc etc etc........I think I need a rest!!

The funny thing is, I have moved to a great little apartment with a swimming pool, jacuzzi, gym etc etc and I have used none of them....albeit nor has anyone else as the weather hasnt really been apt.

Have a fabulous weekend and thanks so much......I dont feel like Glenn Close anymore :beer:

Re: Feeling Low in Perth
 

its called immolag

(jetlag for immigrants)

Give it time, the first 3 months there is much too do, the next 3 months after you will feel more into a routine and start to enjoy your new life.

Plenty of BE members that side - hope they will start posting inviting you to a weekend meetup.

Best wishes

Kiwi :)

Re: Feeling Low in Perth
 

Oh that would be fab, hope I get invites too :beer:

A life would be a start

Re: Feeling Low in Perth
 

Hi Amanda,

We only arrived in Oz a week ago so wanted to say hi, we flew in to Perth but are currently in Sydney sorting out a car we have brought here.

Sounds like you have had a mad time of it, I can't imagine landing here on the Fri and then starting work on the Monday, no wonder you head is in a whirl. Try and give yourself a bit of me time over the weekend to take stock, the whole emigration thing is scary enough without being expected to jump straight into a busy job and know exactly what you are doing.

We are not sure where we will settle but we love Perth and ideally will end up back there, will look you up when we do get back as we'll definitely be up for a few meet ups. :D

Cheers
Jo & Stu)

Re: Feeling Low in Perth
 

Maybe the perthies should organise a 'night out' or something :) Of course, if you do....you have to have one in November when I arrive! :D

Amanda - try and take some time out....even an afternoon on the weekend, to explore! Opposite Harbour town sounds great :)

Re: Feeling Low in Perth
 

We def be up for a night out :D , me 42 and daughter 19, :D

Re: Feeling Low in Perth
 

Fabulous, that would be great.

I guess it doesnt help that I ended up with toothache last week and popped to the dentist who did root canal instantly (didnt expect that at all!!!, was expecting antibiotics and an x ray at best and an appointment in two or three years).....then yesterday, bitten by some nasty mozzie I think which is looking all yukky....so generally run down I think.

I am going to pamper myself this weekend, weather permitting a trip to the beach, to the aquarium and the zoo.

Re: Feeling Low in Perth
 

Hi Amanda,
What you're feeling is perfectly normal.
Where I work, contractors are constantly passing through, often being dumped in Perth for many months (or for good) with virtually no notice. Most also end up in West Perth/Subi apartments. They all seem to gradually meet other folks doing the same and to develop a social routine.
If you keep posting on BE you'll make plenty of friends and I'm sure will be invited along to a get together before too long.
You'll find getting out in the sunshine in view of the sea is the best therapy for any regrets about the move.

Re: Feeling Low in Perth
 

HI PM me aND WE CAN MEET UP DOLLYX

Re: Feeling Low in Perth
 

Have pm'd you with my number, would love to meet.
Nicola

Re: Feeling Low in Perth
 

Good on ya Nicola and Dolly :)

Re: Feeling Low in Perth
 

Hi Amanda,

I got my visa approved on Friday and will be flying out to Perth in the next couple of weeks, so if you'd like to meet up for a :beer: or just for a chat, let me know. It sure would be nice to meet up with people who've been in the same situation before!

I'll PM you my contact details.

Thanks,
Ed

Re: Feeling Low in Perth
 

Ahhh welcome to Dullsville. Home of gayFL, a type of people not willing to change (ie daylight saving, extended hours, desperate need for a pipeline from up north etc....) and the obession to cut down or prune trees every few weeks!!! :D

Re: Feeling Low in Perth
 

Hi there mate
I'm on the other side to you (Qld) and am just starting my 4th week here. Today was the worst yet and I found myself wandering through Southbank in Brisbane half crying and wondering what the hell I have done. I haven't started work yet and I think maybe thats the problem as I only have my two teenage daughters for company. I am trying to claw back a bit of self confidence and get myself out there and looking for work. It doesn't help that people are still ringing, texting and emailing every day from the UK. I even got a picture message from my best mate who was at a Will Young concert last night and took a pic and sent it to me from the concert :-(
I had loads of mates back in the UK, no family and I thought that would mean I would settle better than others. I know its only early days and I need to keep going, I just hope that there aren't too many days like today that's all. So many of us will reply to your message and tell you similiar stories as I think its all part of the migration process, something you can't really tell others about until they have experienced it themselves. Like everyone else said, get yourself out there and remember why you came over in the first place :)
All the best
Kelly x

Re: Feeling Low in Perth
 

Hi Amanda,

What you feel is pretty in much what any migrant will feel the first couple of months, never mind where you go.

I for example, lived all my life in warm South Africa.
I quit my job on Thursday to start my new job is Madison, Wisconsin, USA on Monday.
Thursday was hectic to pack the little I have in 2 big suitcases.
Friday jumped on 3 aircraft to arrive in Madison on Saturday afternoon.
It was late Nov. so SA was warm with 25-32 degrees C, and arriving in cold Madison with temps -1 to -10.
That Saturday evening it started snowing in Madison, the first time I saw and experienced snow!
The Sunday I spend at least 2 hours in the supermarket trying to figure out what food to buy for the week.
All the brands are different. I got "sticker" shock of the prices as I am still converting between currencies.
Where is the full cream milk?
After reading the labels, I figured that "Vitamin D" milk is what we called "full cream" in SA.
In the US all measurements are in standard, and I am used to the metric system, so I am constantly in the need to convert to just figure out what size I want and what the weather will be like, or how far I need to go.
After 4 years in the US, I still have troubles with the standard system.

Even crossing the road was a safety hazard, I felt like I need to re-learn how to cross the street, because Americans drive on the right and SA drive on the left. Luckily I did not need to drive anywhere in the first year and took the bus or relied on others to take me.

The 1st 2 weeks were horrible, with lots of paperwork to do, looking for an apartment, looking for furniture/utensils, learning the ropes at the new job, and almost re-learning everything I used to know.

Being in customer/tech support I dealt with many Americans, and since I had a British English accent, where we drop the "R" in many words when we pronounce it, the Americans had many times problems understanding what I was saying.
This is no good for tech support when someone else is relying on what you are saying.
So alas, I also had to re-learn the English language to pronounce the "R" if it is in the word, now the Americans understand me, but they think I am Russian with my trilling Afrikaans "R"s.

When people talk sport, I had NO clue what they are talking about, in SA we had rugby and cricket, here they have American football and baseball, and basket ball.

These are just some of the things a migrant can expect to go through.
It is not a summer vacation, it is a CHANGE in LIFE.
The first months will be rough, but it will be better later.

Here are some tips:
If you know someone in the area you are moving to, ask them to help you getting some of these sorted out and oriented.
They can help you with the shopping, show you the different areas, recommend banks and health care providers, help you find a place to stay, etc.

Take your time after work and over week-ends to explore and settle in.
This means drive through different neighbourhoods, visit different shops and making notes of where you can buy/get what. Read up on area and local culture/customs. Study some maps.
But above all make sure you enjoy your new setting and relax, pretend it is a vacation.

When I am down, I like to take a stroll or go to church, it lifts my mood. Australia is a beautiful country, take advantage of that.
Just be in nature and let go all those worries and problems.
Even if you are not religious, go to church.
It is the only place were you will get spiritual upliftment, fellowship and hopefully help. Jesus loves us all, never mind where we came from or what we did. We were commanded to love and help one another, and that you will only experience from a true believer, who you will find in church.

Keep in mind that you ARE making a NEW start in a total different country!
Your life is NOT merely a continuation of the old one.
You are casting away the past and making a new start.
Now is the time for change.
So expect things to be different, be open to learn and experience the new things and accept the things you like.
Don't look to the past or yearn for it, but rather learn from it and change the future.
Try not to compare the one country against the other or one culture for the other. Doing this will only keep you from adapting to the new culture and country you have to accept, in order to adapt to it.
Otherwise you will always be yearning for the past life and country or be frustrated/annoyed by the new experiences.
And in the end you go back to the old life in the old country.

When you start questioning why you came to the new country, remind yourself of the things you did not like in the old country and the reasons you moved.
Evaluate if these reasons are still true.
Look at the good things or opportunities the new country brings.
Was it all madness or in vain? Hopefully the answer is NO.

Start making friends.
Go out with work colleagues or fellow believers in church.
I am sure they are just dieing to hear about where you came from and what it is like in the new country.
I am also sure they will be likewise willing to show you around or tell you long stories about their life in the new country.

Well I am wishing you all the best to come, that you will settle in, and ENJOY your new life and environment.
I am working on my Australian PR visa and hopefully by Jan 07, I will do this all over again, moving to sunny Australia!

Re: Feeling Low in Perth
 

You may well find that jetlag, plus the trauma of moving 12000 miles to a completely foreign place, takes quite a few months to get over: don't worry - it's normal!

If you haven't come down with an Aussie cold within the first week - you're actually ahead of the game, even if you don't feel it.

Just give it time - summer's coming!

Re: Feeling Low in Perth
 

Thats so funny, I been threatening a cold since I got here! :-) Didn't know it was all part of the fun!

Re: Feeling Low in Perth
 

It happens to a surprising number of people and just adds to the sense of achievement!

Re: Feeling Low in Perth
 

I haven't felt better for years and haven't had one cold since coming here... Vitamin D rocks!

Re: Feeling Low in Perth
 

Too dam' cold for the bugs up there <g>

Re: Feeling Low in Perth
 

Ha! ;) Only in the Winter.

Re: Feeling Low in Perth
 

Hi Amanda,
Just wondering how you are feeling now and if you had a good weekend?
Hope you managed to get out and about and get a 'feel' for the place.
Good luck, let us know how you're getting on.
Tracey

Re: Feeling Low in Perth
 

Hi guys,

I kind of realised what one of my issues was. I actually had let a girl I met on the plane stay with me as she was travelling, staying here for a couple of months, then going off travelling. She really hated the hostel.....so said as I had a spare room, she could stay there until she went off travelling.

I don't really think that has helped me as she has been quite negative and miserable since being here. I have a fabulous job with fabulous people, I have a gorgeous apartment which is like a spot of heaven, a five star spa and yes, I am going to be adjusting, but then I realised that this girl who was staying with me was constantly complaining and moaning about Perth, about my apartment (she screamed how she hated the bathroom the other day as the mirror made her look ugly), she equally complained she didnt like my drinking glasses so wanted to go out and buy some etc etc....so think that made me feel better when I realised it was actually her negativity that was making me feel weird.

I spoke to her and said she didnt seem happy and as she was a traveller maybe she should move on, as obviously I am making a life in Perth, but she is visiting (I know before anyone tells me, she deserved a foot up her behind.....I am not soft, but do think she is very miserable and maybe a touch homesick so dont want to be too hard on her). So hopefully she will be off travelling in a week so I can feel settled myself.

A few of you have messaged to invite me places, which is sooooo appreciated......it would be great to have some drinking buddies here so Saturday nights wont be eating my weight in chocolate whilst watching a drab movie for too much longer.

I do feel good about being here, I knew I always did really, there was just something and it was half that settling in feeling and half other persons negativity

Re: Feeling Low in Perth
 

I was bitten by something a few times and felt like poop for about 36 hours....apart from that had a few close encounters of the cold kind but not a full on one yet.

Re: Feeling Low in Perth
 

I got a spider bite which did the same for me Amanda... I wonder which bug bit you?

Good to hear that your flatmate has been re-bitten by the travel bug... Other people's negativity can really bring you down.

Re: Feeling Low in Perth
 

A one that obviously liked me a lot !!! I felt all whizzy and slept like a dog for a couple of days. Yeh, I popped home for lunch and made sure she headed down to the travel agent and gee'd her up a bit with 'bet your really excited about going off travelling' kind of pep talk.......I guess as I should have realised years ago...never do anyone a favour, it will always come back to bite you on the bum.

Re: Feeling Low in Perth
 

You're better off with the biting bugs than the negative people, you can get over a bite (well usually) but negative whingers can be the difference between you making a great new life or being thoroughly miserable.

Next time you hear the slightest murmer of negativity turn round and run a mile, oh and vitamin B1 is good for keeping the biting things at bay.

Lynn

Re: Feeling Low in Perth
 

Yup, even going to throw a housewarming in a couple of weeks........although it will at this stage be only work colelagues, I am hoping by that point she will have gone on with her travels rather than me having to ask her to leave.

Re: Feeling Low in Perth
 

Have you seen the film single white female LOL:scared:

If she hasnt moved out, then tell her that one of your friends is coming over for a month or so and give the big hint.

Good luck in settlling, youve got the right attitude.

al.x

Re: Feeling Low in Perth
 

Hi Amanda,

Glad you got to the root of your sadness - it doesn't help when those around you are negative! Anway, will be arriving in Perth on Thurs afternoon, so can't wait! Been real busy packing over the past week, so I've been missing out on here. Going Sailing on Saturday afternoon with a group of friends too; can't wait! I'll call you when I land.

Regards,
Ed

Re: Feeling Low in Perth
 

Wow, bet your so so so excited.......I had lost the buzz as my visa took longer than expected which was a hsame, hope yours is still there.

Speak to you when you get here..... :beer:

Re: Feeling Low in Perth
 

Yes my new boss kind of said the same thing as you :scared:

Especially when I approached the subject of her clearly not being happy here and whilst I am she was killing my mojo to say the least......she said she loved it here and then later that day started talking about SIX MONTHS........how she would be over the moon to have somewhere like this to stay for SIX MONTHS......she was only supposed to be here a couple before moving on travelling.

Single white female.....yup....but one I dont charge rent to.

No good deed goes unpunished as some really smart person once said

:cool:

Re: Feeling Low in Perth
 

You want a friendly word of advice? - get rid of her!

There are some people who consider the world owes them a living: you seem to have picked one up. It is one thing to be invited to spend a night with someone while you find somewhere but when you are imposed upon indefinitely it is definitely antisocial at best.

Re: Feeling Low in Perth
 

Yep, tell her that your dad is coming to stay and that you need the room!

Re: Feeling Low in Perth
 

You really don't need someone like that taking advantage... from what you have said, she is staying rent free in a nice house, probably being fed for free and still she moans and makes your life miserable... i would definetly follow this advice and say someone is comign to stay and you need the room, not an unusual occurance for someone having just moved to Perth... either that or find out what her worst phobia is and make her life a nightmare until she bogs of and makes someones elses life a misery, moving to the other side of the world is stressful enough without having a sponging moaning annoying cheeky freeloader taking advantage.