shaun/lor

well we told most of our rellys from day one, lors mum who lives with us at the moment but is going in 3 weeks (hooooorayyyy), went quiet at first but cheered up a bit, then one day during a conversation with a big smile on her face. she blurted out about how her friend had told her we probably couldent go because you needed to have a degree or a trade. and even then it takes years to go through. she went very quite again when we told her that as im an oz citizen it should be fairly quick and painless for us and hopfully we will be gone before xmas. (shes quiet again now).
my mum seems glad to see us go, and my 2 step sisters said during a girly get together with my wife they feel i dont love them enough to stay. but thir husbands are already organising thier itinery for when they visit.
we went for a meal with our best friends at the weekend, and during the sobbing she blurted out how hard she is finding it and that they had already tried to distance themselves from us but shes finding coping with it very hard. we thought we had done somthing wrong. oh were so selfish of course it has nothing to do with the fact that none of these people would be able to live in oz even if they wanted too.
the people that have taken the news best are our friends up the road. but i think that has a lot to do with the fact that thier waiting on thier visa as well ha ha.
all the best to everyone and just remember most people that dont want you to leave dont want you to leave for their benifit not yours shaun, lor, and olly xxxx

sophia

Hi guys,

It's surprising (or not?) that many families seem to be reacting almost exactly the same...some think it's a great idea, others hate it, yet again others think you'll never *really* go through with it....ours are exactly the same, however, I have a cunning plan for handling ours...

I'm going to tell my folks (v,v,Very large family) that it's because I come from such a caring, loving and stable family that I feel confident enough to fly the nest (and at 30 it's getting a bit squashed in that nest now anyway!!)...and that they'll always be with me in my heart whether I live in Leeds or Australia...Surely we don't have to live in the same location in order for us to prove we love them?? (And I actually do mean it)

Anyway, I figure it'll make them all cry (cos I'm going to make it a fantastic speech) and it'll, hopefully, stop the "please don't leave us" and the "how can you take my ONLY grandson away?", oh and I also got "you're not going until I die, are you" speeches we're expecting from them all until we get on the plane because they will be all so bigged up from my speech they will think it's a wonderful idea that we're exploring the world!! Well, i hope they do anyway!!!

I've got visions of mum following us to the airport, clinging onto my leg wailing at us not to leave!! Mind you, it's not like she's not been there, done that and wore the t-shirt....her and my dad went to Australia as £10 poms, they were there for ages until they decided they were homesick, they kept getting letters from the UK saying they wanted to see their 1st grandchild etc...put a real guilt trip on my parents until they caved and came back to England....they've regretted the decision ever since. I've pointed this out to her and she's finally getting her head around the idea...she's not happy though, she nearly lost me to cancer and now feels I'm abandoning her...I can't blooming win!!!

Don't worry guys, when they all finally get out to see you, they'll know why you made the decision you made, I'm sure of it!!! It's wonderful out there and I can't wait to get back!!!

love sophia xx

bsftaylorm

It's a difficult one.

My parents have known that I wanted to go since I met my wife (an Aussie). We have been talking about it for 6 years now. I have been over 3 times and love it.

We told them it was for definite after my wife came back from a holiday with the kids to see her folks in January - probably early 2003 we thought. Mom was outwardly very happy for us, but inwardly devastated (we will be taking her only 2 grandchildren with us). By March she had come round to the idea - at least had accepted it, so we decided to burst her bubble, and tell her that we were expecting another little one at the same time as telling her my visa had been granted in 15 days rather than the expected 6 months. In reply to her "oh you won't be going so soon then" we said "actually, we're going in September". She was horrified, but to be fair to her, she was worried about how we would cope with 3 kids under 3 (she said she would have given up work to nanny for us if we had stayed) rather than for herself.

Anyway, we had all booked a family holiday to Oz in May 2002 (us 4 plus mom, step dad and 2 brothers). By the end of the first week they were looking at property out there. They, like me, fell in love with the place. Now they can totally understand what we are doing, and why, and want to be part of it. They are lucky enough to be in a good financial position, so they won't miss out too much on the kids. The current plan is for them to come out for 3 months next Christmas to experience Brissie at its climatic hottest (?*!£$) and decide whether to apply for a retirement visa themselves.

My dad, who I'm not as close to, is totally supportive, and he and my step mom have already booked us for March 2004!

What little other family I have are very supportive. Obviously Kellys family are delighted (they are all in Oz).

Our friends have known for some time that we would eventaully do it, were suprised by the speed of the decision, but fully support us and to a degree envy us. All have promised to come out - how many will is a different matter. However, we already have planned visits by friends in November 2002 and January 2003.

Just goes to show! I think anyone who has been to Oz can understand it, those who have not are more scared by the journey than anything else.

As for keeping in touch, e-mail is a wonderful thing, as are digital video cameras and internet phones. Failing that, the good old telephone and snail mail will suffice!

The main thing is, we have absolutely no regrets, know it will be best for our increasing number of children, and are looking forward to being warm!

This is how our story went. Best of luck to everyone.

Mark, Kelly & girls

paulap

We haven't even applied for a visa yet, but made the mistake of telling our parents that we were thinking about it. We told them so early so we weren't accused of doing things behind their backs. That sounds a bit strange doesn't it.

My mum's reaction was 'how will you manage when you rely on me so much to babysit when you're both at work & it'll be the biggest mistake you've ever made.'

Dad was better, 'if you go I'll be absoloutely gutted'.

Sam's mum & dad said, ' you'll have exactly the same problems over there & you shouldn't be so selfish.'

Our brothers haven't really said anything, we didn't tell them the parents did, but I think they'd be happy for us.

We haven't told friends yet. I think we'll leave that until we're a bit further down the line.

I think like other people it isn't me or Sam going, it's the 2 grandchildren we're taking with us.

Hopefully they'll come round.
Paula

rday

just a thought that may help some of u.

what we will be telling rellys is a mixture of bull and fact.
us and the kids are going to get an oz working visa,and r going to spend a couple of years living,working and traveling around oz,then we r coming back.
(no mention of pr at all.)

that way instead of peoples reactions being u foolish selfish idiot.
it will be wow what an adventurer,i envy u.
rday
by the way, we are going to sell up everything for xtra funds,and buy a bigger house when we come back

Anniexx

This thread makes me chuckle,only because alot of people that are emigrating,tell their parents and they are horified that they could be doing such a thing.Taking the grandkids away blah blah.
We have the opposite problem,my parents want to go to live in NZ(at the grand age of 72 & 71) and everything is holding them back at the moment.The only way for them to get out there seems to be if we can get there first,live there for 3yrs then sponsor them over.They are so keen for us all to go and live there,i have 3 sisters and we're all married with children and we're keen to go also.Just hope it can happen.

joh117

All the family and friends have been fantastic. We told both sets of parents but everyone else found out inside our wedding invitations as we said we did not have a wedding list due to emmigrating to Oz.

Everyone is excited for us and keeps asking have we heard. But I know my mum is a little unhappy about it though she would never say so to me. I know she is worried about not getting to see the grandkids (not got kids yet).

We were thinking of having a child before we go but mum said don't you dare!!

We have bought a camcorder and digi camera so we will be able to send photos through to them.

I am also lucky in the fact that our families can afford to come over and visit. I keep saying to mum she will get to spend 3 months quality time with the grandkids when she has retired more than she would see them in the UK. (Shami doesn't know that his mum in law could come over for a 3 month visit!!!!!!!!!!!)

At the end of the day it is our decision and I know they understand our reasons why and in this day and age the world is a small place!

Jo

andie

families!!! aaarrrrhhhhhhhhhh :scared:
we told ours from the beginning, 2 years later its finally happening, we go in 6 weeks, for 2 years no one has spoken about it, the dreaded "A" WORD. australia has been banned until now. the tickets are booked, so finally they believe us. my mom and sister have always changed the subject, until now, its you cant go, it,l be like another death in the family. what are we going to do without you? you are abandoning us.......

andie

families!!! aaarrrrhhhhhhhhhh :scared:
we told ours from the beginning, 2 years later its finally happening, we go in 6 weeks, for 2 years no one has spoken about it, the dreaded "A" WORD. australia has been banned until now. the tickets are booked, so finally they believe us. my mom and sister have always changed the subject, until now, its you cant go, it,l be like another death in the family. what are we going to do without you? you are abandoning us....... my brother couldnt care less, free holidays. woopee! andies mom and dad, are the opposite to my family, they really dont give a sh##, that we are taking their 4 grandkids the other side of the world, its, oh ok, see ya.
so its mixed feelings with our families, i dont know which is worse, either way we feel guilty for going, but if we dont go we will never know. so heres to emigrating, good luck to you all. brissy here we come, 1st june, cant wait. :PARTY:

Mandyisere

My family and friends have finally accepted the decision that i'm going, and are planning the usual visits and helping me sort out things in the uk, so thats no problem.
What is a problem though is when i go to bed at night and think of saying goodbye to my dad it really hurts and i have to push the thought to the back of my mind, but soon i will have to do it for real!!!
How do you cope??

Mandy

karen and andy

I think the only way of coping is to be totally selfish and think of yourselves.
When we told my parents they said do not let anyone influence
your decision just think of your family unit, no-one else matters.

Hope this helps, after all you will only be a plane ride away.

Cheers
Karen

bored_bean

Well Mum & Dad left the island a couple of years ago. A plane flight is a plane flight. I told them ages ago and they fully understood, a chance for a better life, you get nothing if you don't gamble. The in-laws were mostly OK but they want us to spend a week with each of them before we go. Not enough time to do that. What we are intending is to build a guest cabin in the garden for long stay visits. I love my mother but I wouldn't want her in the house for any length of time, and don't even start on the mother-in-law!
(eh you don't talk about my mum like that - ed)

jockney

When we went to tell my dad that we had applied for oz he had a strange view.He said he used to work for an australian and he was a right bastard.Even after I pointed out that I had worked for several scottish bastards (among other nationalities)it made no difference his mind was made up about australians.Unfortunate attitude ,but luckily we have decided to be selfish and think of what we want!!!

mika24me

We told our parents before sending in our TRA application. At the time they were all fine (my mum even gave us a suitcase!)

Now that we have had our request for medicals things have changed slightly. My in-laws can't wait to visit, which is great.

My Dad keep's pointing out the poor exchange rate for if I ever want to come back in a vain attempt to get me to stay without actually saying "please don't go".

And my Mum keeps saying "I'm so happy for you", whilst at the same time sounding as if her cat has just died. I feel like I am breaking her heart.

Most of our friends are very supportive though. I think that fact that we have been talking about this for two years has helped them get used to the idea.

Mel

footie chick

Hmm families started off great apart from in laws and my dad moaning and it just continually gets worse. Partners family are the worst all the stirring is just mind blowing and nothing is final yet.

Good thing though neither of us are close to family so we will do what is best for us.

Good luck to you all

footie chick