debbiemc

hello folks,

i'm sure this has been asked before but i can't find any threads.

After lengthy discussions with my ex husband, he has now decided he won't sign the declaration to let me take the kids to oz. i know this is an emotive subject and would like to inform you that this has been going on for over a year now and not once have either of our kids say they don't want to come, quite the opposite, my daughter is looking at further education and my son travelling for a few months before starting work.

they have told their dad on numerous occasions and also that they don't want to have to go to court. He does not have a close relationship with our daughter of 15 and rarely sees her, through no fault of hers. she's disgusted with him that he won't let her go and is dreading the thought she will have to go to court.

i explained that he can visit whenever and she can travel to see him once a year if she wishes.By then she will be 16 and our son 18. i have re married and have full custody of both children and my ex does not pay me maintainence, not that this takes away his rights as their dad. The kids are of an age that thay are gillick competent and at 15 and 17 both know their own mind, evn though their dad says i'm brainwashing them into moving to oz.

what i would like to know is from those of you who have had similar experiences is, from getting a solicitor and going to court to try for a court order, how long and approximately how much?

many thanks

debbie

andrew63

Debbie
Unfortunately I have had to go through virtually the same thing with my daughter (13/14 at the time).
It took me 12 months and close to £10k as we went from Family Court to High Court as each time my ex lost she appealed. Ironically, from day one, the judge, my solicitor and even her solicitor agreed she would not win and it was simply a matter of time and money (my money, she was on legal aid) before I won.
I did have hiccups with changing solicitors and my ex threw every delaying tactic there was too. Getting Court dates is also hard so the one bit of advice I would say is to get your solicitor to book a Court date immediately, even High Court in case you are dragged all the way too. It can take 3 - 4 months to get a Court date and they prefer to wait to book until you know for sure you will need to go.
Good luck and if there is anything else, let me know. Suggest PM to prevent the "I know best brigade" from interfering

Andrew

JAJ

First thing you should ask a good solicitor (family law specialist) is whether you'll *need* a court order once the younger daughter turns 16. The Children Act does technically apply up to age 18, however with 16 and 17 year olds as far as I know the courts are reluctant to get involved other than in exceptional cases.

You definitely won't need any kind of order once the older one is 18.

Child custody criteria are decided by DIMIA as of date of decision, so you may want to move on your application at the same time. However you'll probably need a good agent who understands DIMIA's child custody provisions (not all agents do).


Jeremy

debbiemc

many thanks andrew, will pm you later. i feel sick at the thought of taking the kids through the courts.

thank you also jeremy for your advice, could you recommend an agent who specialises please?

debbie

JAJ

I suggest you could ask the question on the immigration forum, some of the agents who post there never look at this forum.



Jeremy

Siren & Brian

Have sent you a PM, Hun.

Siren

meelie

This issue has been visited before. I had the same problem with my ex not giving permission for me to take my daughter. Just an idea, if he doesn't pay you any child support you could threaten him with CSA. They sort it out really quickly. I'm sure he would rather give permission than have to pay out financially. My ex was made to realise that if my daughter went to Oz he didn't have to pay the 200 quid a month in child support anymore. No problems getting permission from him once he knew that. Good luck!

CadburysFingers

Sounds to me, like he is very jealous of the new life you can offer your children, that he cant, stick with it and I am sure it will all work out, alternatively forge his signature That should do the trick.

debbiemc

if only it was that easy eh!!!!!

i'm going to speak with him again today, both kids are really upset at the prospect of court and so i need to get that through to him.

will keep you all posted.

BobbyDazzler

This is interesting

Are you saying that if the kids move to Oz then the ex-father is not legally obliged to support his children financially whether that is via maintenance like he pays now (which is enforced by a court order) or (as a last resort) the CSA?

Rgds

BD

tinaj

Maintenance orders served in the Uk are not enforced in Australia or any where else I am aware of .So unless you have a compliant ex partner bank on the money stopping pretty much straight away. After all who is going to force them to pay?


Debbie, You can go straight to the court and apply for a hearing yourself. Go to your nearest family court and it will cost you around 80 pounds to apply for the hearing. You can represent yourself, there is no need for a solicitor as they are very informal.

If your ex does not attend then the case will probably go against him as it would show he is not that bothered. As your kids are older I would imagine the magistrate will take that into account and sort it out for you. You may need to show evidence of work, housing etc and how you will support your children in Oz.

Hope it all goes well, and don't be afraid of the court it is just a judge/magistrate in a small room and you talk to him over a table - no big deal really.

tinaj

Been there done that and got the Visa

I remember the hassles now, but they are all distant dim memories.

wildmark

I know it's not right but have you considered offering him cash????

BobbyDazzler

The plot thickens!

Are these stories of £10k and 3 years to achieve the granting of a court order realistic or is it not quite as expensive and time consuming as we are led to believe?

Also, if the case was to go to court, who would be liable for the fees? I read somewhere that the 'defendant' (for want of a better word) would be liable??

Rgds

BD

BobbyDazzler

It isn't right. I agree

However, is walking away from your parental responsibilities and then trying to deprive the children of a fantastic opportunity right either?

The moral highground does not always reside with the father!

Cheers

BD