|
Re: The dream is over...
Originally Posted by kevinbloomfield
Dump him and meet someone who has a bit of get up and go in them
Bloke sounds like a no hope loser to me Nice balanced view there, Kevin ... ;) |
Re: The dream is over...
I'm really sorry to hear this. I really hope it works out for you.
My husband and I took ages to decide whether to go or not and we discussed ot for nearly a year before we decided to go for it. We are applying under him and the skills assessment etc is all down to him and he is beginning to feel the pressure a bit I think. We have an agreement though that we will go and we will stay for at least 2 years as we think this will give us a good chance to decide if we like it enough or not. We have decided to move to Brisbane but have also decided between us that if one of us doesn't like then we will try a different place before we just up and come home. Another area may be much better. We both know that if we don't go we will regret it. We will always wonder what it would have been like. If we go and give it a try, at least we know we gave it our best shot even if we end up coming home. If you haven't already validated your visa's then I think you ought to go out there for a holiday and do that. It will at least give you a bit more time and he may come round when he see's it again. Also you have worked so hard for this and it sounds as though you really want to go and give it a try. Yes it is a big risk but it is one that hundreds of us take and for the majority it seems to work out brilliantly and they have no regrets. You've been through so much and worked so hard that I think he should give it a try. I want to wish you good luck for the future. |
Re: The dream is over...
You appear to be the one to change your life and goals to meet Aus whilst he has sat back and waited (sorry if that's wrong) it sounds a bit like pregnancy - it's very hard for the guy to get fully involved until the end. Everyone gets slight cold feet when it's finally happening, but I have to say he appears to being slightly selfish. Perhaps if he were the one to get the visa, you may be the one to say no.
But at the end of the day, it doesn't have to be forever. You've sold the house which is the biggy in my book. Suggest you come out and give it a go, as others have said all the risks have been taken, the final bit of getting on the plane is relatively easy after what you've been through. If you decide to stay, you would have to be a much stronger person than me to never bring up "Aus" in an argument. Good luck though with whatever you do. |
Re: The dream is over...
Originally Posted by LouiseG
This will be my last post no doubt...
After getting married in Sydney 2002, the other half and I fell in love with the Aussie way of life, weather etc. etc. and decided (and agreed) that we wanted to make new lives down under. So....... I spent 3 gruelling years qualifying as an Accountant and a further year + clocking up some relevant and meaningful work experience. After all this and:- Significant financial outlay; Preparing friends and family; Applying for and getting a Permanent Residents Visa (MODL); More research than you can shake a stick at; Doing the house up and putting it on the market; Accepting an offer on the house. During our rekkie trip to Melbourne my hubby tells me he doesn't want to emigrate now as he thinks it's too big a 'risk' to take. I am devastated, crushed and bewildered but we always said that if one of us changed our minds we wouldn't go, so we are NOT going. Just a word of warning to all you couples out there. Make sure it's what you BOTH want at every point of the process. People's lives change during the application process and so do people's minds. I'm sorry you're so disappointed at the mo. however, you did agree that if one person didn't feel right about the move it would not happen with both of you. That's sensible. I moved overseas not really wanting to and it only set us up for a lot of heartache so maybe it's for the best ...... or you coudl go alone or just come for a year or two and then go back? |
Re: The dream is over...
Originally Posted by LouiseG
Thanks for your kind words all.
We have validated but he won't change his mind - who know's what will happen. I feel so bad for you, the whole process is gruelling and to have the rug pulled out at the last minutes, must be heartbreaking. Only wish I could say something helpful, but cant, so I just want to wish you the best and I hope you and your hubby come to some sort of agreement about Aus. Its seems a bit unfair that he says no and thats that. All the best, just remember its your life too. |
Re: The dream is over...
I love British Expats! You get loads of support and are always assured of a variety of opinions...thanks guys!
We have only been back from our rekkie (and validation) trip 1 day so it's still early days so I can't really say what the future holds. |
Re: The dream is over...
Originally Posted by LouiseG
We have only been back from our rekkie (and validation) trip 1 day so it's still early days so I can't really say what the future holds. So he's still jetlagged? Hang in there, he could just be having a 'down' moment. :o |
Re: The dream is over...
Originally Posted by iPom
So he's still jetlagged? Hang in there, he could just be having a 'down' moment. :o
Let us all know, this is nerve-racking stuff! Nico |
Re: The dream is over...
Originally Posted by iPom
So he's still jetlagged? Hang in there, he could just be having a 'down' moment. :o
|
Re: The dream is over...
Originally Posted by LouiseG
This will be my last post no doubt...
After getting married in Sydney 2002, the other half and I fell in love with the Aussie way of life, weather etc. etc. and decided (and agreed) that we wanted to make new lives down under. So....... I spent 3 gruelling years qualifying as an Accountant and a further year + clocking up some relevant and meaningful work experience. After all this and:- Significant financial outlay; Preparing friends and family; Applying for and getting a Permanent Residents Visa (MODL); More research than you can shake a stick at; Doing the house up and putting it on the market; Accepting an offer on the house. During our rekkie trip to Melbourne my hubby tells me he doesn't want to emigrate now as he thinks it's too big a 'risk' to take. I am devastated, crushed and bewildered but we always said that if one of us changed our minds we wouldn't go, so we are NOT going. Just a word of warning to all you couples out there. Make sure it's what you BOTH want at every point of the process. People's lives change during the application process and so do people's minds. So very sorry for you. |
Re: The dream is over...
Folks know I'm one of the biggest advocates for Oz on these forums, but we too have an agreement in the family (me, my wife and, yes, my five year old son) that if any of us don't like it, we can come back. I wouldn't force someone to stay somewhere they don't like - I certainly wouldn't jeopardise my marriage and the security of my son over it. I've spent plenty of time in Oz and know what to expect, but my wife hasn't, and she's the one leaving family and friends behind in the UK - if she wanted to come back, after we'd given things a good go (say, a couple of years), then back we'd come. Simple as that. That said, as Shellfish said, perhaps it is better that he's said all this now - must hurt like hell to have gone through so much to get that far - but it's surely better than selling up and shipping out and then discovering the truth a month after you arrive. Maybe he'll come round once he's had a bit of time to think about it. Best of luck to you, whatever happens. :)
|
Re: The dream is over...
....or maybe not.
I am reviving this thread because there have been developments. Hubby is starting to get a little 'twitchy' after we decided back in June that we wouldn't move down under after all because he thought the risk was too great. I was totally devestated at the time because I'd set my heart on going (we've got the visa - that's the hard bit!!!). We had a buyer for the house and I felt really bad for them when we pulled out of the sale. However I love him dearly and decided that our relationship was more important than aus. Now we've settled back into life here Dave is starting to appreciate the reasons we applied for a visa in the first place. He is slowly starting to change his mind about going now. I'll keep u posted on what happens. Who knows.....maybe the dream ain't over!!!!!! :eek: |
Re: The dream is over...
Originally Posted by LouiseG
....or maybe not.
I am reviving this thread because there have been developments. Hubby is starting to get a little 'twitchy' after we decided back in June that we wouldn't move down under after all because he thought the risk was too great. I was totally devestated at the time because I'd set my heart on going (we've got the visa - that's the hard bit!!!). We had a buyer for the house and I felt really bad for them when we pulled out of the sale. However I love him dearly and decided that our relationship was more important than aus. Now we've settled back into life here Dave is starting to appreciate the reasons we applied for a visa in the first place. He is slowly starting to change his mind about going now. I'll keep u posted on what happens. Who knows.....maybe the dream ain't over!!!!!! :eek: Ann :) |
Re: The dream is over...
Originally Posted by LouiseG
....or maybe not.
I am reviving this thread because there have been developments. Hubby is starting to get a little 'twitchy' after we decided back in June that we wouldn't move down under after all because he thought the risk was too great. I was totally devestated at the time because I'd set my heart on going (we've got the visa - that's the hard bit!!!). We had a buyer for the house and I felt really bad for them when we pulled out of the sale. However I love him dearly and decided that our relationship was more important than aus. Now we've settled back into life here Dave is starting to appreciate the reasons we applied for a visa in the first place. He is slowly starting to change his mind about going now. I'll keep u posted on what happens. Who knows.....maybe the dream ain't over!!!!!! :eek: |
Re: The dream is over...
Originally Posted by LouiseG
....or maybe not.
I am reviving this thread because there have been developments. Hubby is starting to get a little 'twitchy' after we decided back in June that we wouldn't move down under after all because he thought the risk was too great. I was totally devestated at the time because I'd set my heart on going (we've got the visa - that's the hard bit!!!). We had a buyer for the house and I felt really bad for them when we pulled out of the sale. However I love him dearly and decided that our relationship was more important than aus. Now we've settled back into life here Dave is starting to appreciate the reasons we applied for a visa in the first place. He is slowly starting to change his mind about going now. I'll keep u posted on what happens. Who knows.....maybe the dream ain't over!!!!!! :eek: Good luck and let us know :D Niki |
| All times are GMT -12. The time now is 9:03 am. |
Powered by vBulletin: ©2000 - 2026, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright © 2026 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.