I have not posted regularly of late due to pc probs but we're hoping to be back online asap.

Just wanted to share our latest 'episode' with you.

Last week I got the dreaded call that my Dad is very ill in the UK. We knew we would have to face this situation at some point, but honestly didn't expect it to be so soon (we only left the UK in December & everyone was in good health as far as we knew). Also, we were several days behind everyone else in finding out as no-one wanted to 'worry us'.

Anyway, after monitoring the situation for a few days, I found out that he was in intensive care and decided to fly back on my own to see him. This was really hard, as I basically had to decide whether to visit now, or later for a possible funeral. This is a horrible decision to have to make to be honest but we have a life to lead in oz and you can't stay away indefinitely from jobs/family etc.

The flight was awful as I didn't know what I would find when I landed but thankfully he is still with us but for how long I don't know. He doesn't even know I'm here.

I really love our new life in Brisbane but at times like these you wonder whether you should have moved away and feel real guilt about not 'being there'.

The cost is another factor in all this as I was charged $2900 for a same day flight. I would have paid anything just to be here so it's irrelevant really but worth bearing in mind.

I don't really know what point I'm trying to make here - I love Australia and can't wait to get back there on Friday but I guess this is just one of the more difficult sides to emigrating.

Dawn

Sorry to hear your news Dawn. This is the situation that we all dread, I'm sure you'll be glad you went.
Take care,
Michaela

Dawn, thats horrible news, I was going to call you last night as I had sent you a pm but hadnt got a response. Now I know why . Hope everything turns out ok, sending good vibes your way, talk to you when you get back.

makes you wonder, it happens to us all.

I've been wondering about planning to go back for my parents. I never worry about my old man's health as he is 72, cycles 20 miles a day - seriously! and has just taken up running. Hasn't been to the doctor since 1983. (Ear infection?)

One day, though, of course, he will go down with something and I will have to go and see what's up. Now my mother, shes 60 and constantly worries about him, but she's the one who's always crook. There's more chance of her going down I reckon.

Best of luck.

BM

Hi

All of us in this place wish you the strength to go through this situation.
Trust me everyone here understands, most of us either has left thier loved ones or will be leaving them soon to get on with the new life in Aus.

Don't think that why I am posting this on the forum. By sharing the pain it will be give you support and strength

All the best

Thanks everyone - I really am glad I came although it has been difficult, your concern is really appreciated.

Mrs D - I tried to send a reply to your msg but it mustn't have got through, I'll send another one.

Families eh? Who'd have em!

Dawn

I really feel for you Dawn, and not least because I know that this is going to happen to me at some point and I'm trying to get my head around it. As you probably know, my mum was diagnosed with advanced breast cancer in Feb. SHe's doing well at the moment and will be around for a bit longer yet, but no one can say how long (2 years? 20 years?). She wants us to go to Oz and start our life there, but there's also this knowledge that this cancer will kill her in the end and at some point I'll have to do the mad scramble back to the UK. So, in addition to the main aussie savings, I've started an emergency flight fund...it's all I can do.

I'm really glad that you have been able to spend some time with your dad - as important to you as it is to him. It's such a hard thing to deal with, especially when something like this happens so suddenly. LIke someone snatching the rug from under your feet and nothing seems quite the same again.

Look after yourself - I'll be thinking of you.

Bundy

Hi Dawn,
Thinking of you; I guess its one of those things that is bound to happen to most of us out here. I remember my mate in Tassie had to fly back twice, both times the parent concerned had passed away before he got there, so I'm really glad you got there to see him.
Chin up, and look after yourself,
Love
Pollyana
xx

Dawn
Sorry to hear about your Dad.

Good luck

i think this is everyone who is leaving older relatives behind worst nightmare

my thought are with you

arlene

And it's not just the older ones - my mum is only 57. Can happen at any time, but you have to get on with life and deal with it when it comes up.

Dawn

I think all of us who read your post will take a few moments to reflect on their own circumstances.
This is something which everyone dreads but I think you made the right decision by flying back to the U.K. now. In times like this money is certainly no object.

You are in my thoughts

Tazzy

Hi Dawn,
Sorry to hear your news re your Dad. I am lucky enough to have my Dad here in Oz.

We (my Brother, Mum & Dad) have been in Oz since 1966 and the 'phone call' doesn't get any easier. I only have a Nanny left over there now - she is 98 in September. Sadly all the rest have gone. I have an Aussie husband and his Aussie family, my brother has an Aussie family too.... time marches on.

I have made many trips 'home' but I love coming home to my husband and girls in Oz.
Mother Bear

This happened to me 7 years ago when my dad got sick. However you have to remind yourself that your presence in either the UK or Australia would not change the outcome. I just try to remember that it is best to never let anything left unsaid so for those who are absent from home, remember to tell the ones you left behind what they mean to you.

At least you have got to see him and you say his doesn't know you are there, but who knows what he can sense.

My father-in law was taken ill last year, a call from the hospital to say that all family should get there asap, hubbie got stuck in traffic on London Bridge (courtesy of that idiot David Blane magician) and never got to say goodbye, including all his brothers and sisters apart from one who got there, ( we only live 1 hour away) so at least you are there for him now, this is the thing when you chase the dream somethings have gotta give, don't beat yourself up about it I bet he wouldn't want you to.