Does saying goodbye get any easier???
Sep 16th 2012, 8:07 pm
#1
Planning for the future
Thread Starter
Joined: Dec 2011
Location: Soon to be Brisbane :D
Posts: 231
Does saying goodbye get any easier???
Hiya
Just going through the goodbyes process at the mo as leaving next Monday.
Went and saw my mum last weekend to spend ur last quality face to face time together as she lives a fair way from us, did the same thing with my dad yesterday and today and a very good friend and have just been a blubbering mess today. Still got the party next weekend and the in laws next Sunday.
When you come back to visit are the good byes still as heart wrenching or does it get a little easier for the fact you know what you're going home to n Aus???
I think f it's going to be like this I won't be coming back very often
Just going through the goodbyes process at the mo as leaving next Monday.
Went and saw my mum last weekend to spend ur last quality face to face time together as she lives a fair way from us, did the same thing with my dad yesterday and today and a very good friend and have just been a blubbering mess today. Still got the party next weekend and the in laws next Sunday.
When you come back to visit are the good byes still as heart wrenching or does it get a little easier for the fact you know what you're going home to n Aus???
I think f it's going to be like this I won't be coming back very often
Sep 16th 2012, 8:24 pm
#2
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Mar 2008
Location: Sydney, NSW
Posts: 7,580
Re: Does saying goodbye get any easier???
Ummmm......in some cases, yes, but in others there is the awful feeling that this will be the last time you ever see them, which is a horrid way to say goodbye.
Sorry not to be more positive.
Sorry not to be more positive.
Sep 16th 2012, 9:06 pm
#3
Planning for the future
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Joined: Dec 2011
Location: Soon to be Brisbane :D
Posts: 231
Re: Does saying goodbye get any easier???
Sep 16th 2012, 9:15 pm
#4
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Sep 2007
Location: Canberra
Posts: 8,378
Re: Does saying goodbye get any easier???
Nope, sorry, got worse the older the olds got. Once they got over 80, leaving was almost intolerable every time it would be "is this the last time???" I did it on average every 9 months for the last 10 years or so just because they were getting old and I needed to be back where I belonged for my sanity. Didnt have any issues with the goodbyes until then really, there was always the assumption that there would be a next time. Thank heavens I dont have to go back to Australia for a while yet - not planning on leaving again until the olds pop their clogs.
Sep 16th 2012, 9:27 pm
#5
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Feb 2009
Location: UK
Posts: 14,284
Re: Does saying goodbye get any easier???
I have to wonder, if it is this bad why are you leaving? 
Sep 16th 2012, 9:47 pm
#6
Planning for the future
Thread Starter
Joined: Dec 2011
Location: Soon to be Brisbane :D
Posts: 231
Re: Does saying goodbye get any easier???
There are many reasons, all good. Just hate goodbyes, never have liked them, I always say see you soon or see you later, but I know it won't be soon. I think it's also cos I know they don't want me to go and I know they're upset about it
On the plus Ive set them all up on Skype n they've started to use it
On the plus Ive set them all up on Skype n they've started to use it
Sep 16th 2012, 9:56 pm
#7
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 14,040
Re: Does saying goodbye get any easier???
I've lived in different countries than my parents for nearly 20 years. My mum still cries everytime I leave after a visit.
Sep 17th 2012, 12:27 am
#8
Jan4kids
Joined: Apr 2004
Location: Hertfordshire - Adelaide - now Gold Coast.
Posts: 1,156
Re: Does saying goodbye get any easier???
No it doesn't get any easier.....I still get choked up when I see the point in Brisbane Airport where I last saw my Mum alive By far the hardest bit about emigrating....sorry
By far the hardest bit about emigrating....sorry
Sep 17th 2012, 11:07 am
#9
Social Grenade Thrower
Joined: Jan 2008
Location: South Coast, NSW
Posts: 3,625
Re: Does saying goodbye get any easier???
Generally....for guys yes, for women no! Its the Mars versus Venus thing and the sensitivities that you ladies have (its all a mystery to me!).
If you are an emotional person who is close to family and very tight with your friends then the 'loss' of them, albeit loss by distance rather than any permanency, will impact you greatly.
My better half felt it most when we first left the UK as her Grandmother was not in the best of health, but her Grandmother told her, "Go, its a new opportunity for you, your family and you will make new friends who will be good for you. Don't come back for me, don't come back for my funeral as I only would wish you come back with a smile in your heart and with good reasons to see everyone."
She was a wise old bird and when she passed away my wife did initially want to come back for her funeral, I of course supported her, but her Mum reminded her what her Nan had said and eventually she relented and stayed here. We eventually went back about 4 months afterwards for a holiday and it was great, she was happy, she met all her old friends and enjoyed being with her family......but......what it really brought home to her was that as much as she was glad to see them all, Australia was now our home and it was the best thing we could of done.
We all have differing stories and all have different emotions, only we know ourselves how we will cope. Good luck with your goodbyes but keep in your mind the reason WHY you are saying goodbye.
If you are an emotional person who is close to family and very tight with your friends then the 'loss' of them, albeit loss by distance rather than any permanency, will impact you greatly.
My better half felt it most when we first left the UK as her Grandmother was not in the best of health, but her Grandmother told her, "Go, its a new opportunity for you, your family and you will make new friends who will be good for you. Don't come back for me, don't come back for my funeral as I only would wish you come back with a smile in your heart and with good reasons to see everyone."
She was a wise old bird and when she passed away my wife did initially want to come back for her funeral, I of course supported her, but her Mum reminded her what her Nan had said and eventually she relented and stayed here. We eventually went back about 4 months afterwards for a holiday and it was great, she was happy, she met all her old friends and enjoyed being with her family......but......what it really brought home to her was that as much as she was glad to see them all, Australia was now our home and it was the best thing we could of done.
We all have differing stories and all have different emotions, only we know ourselves how we will cope. Good luck with your goodbyes but keep in your mind the reason WHY you are saying goodbye.
Sep 17th 2012, 11:16 am
#10
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,253
Re: Does saying goodbye get any easier???
No it never gets any easier, and I disagree that is affects us blokes less, it kills me every time I say goodbye. Maybe we just talk about it less and don't show it, I know I bottle it all up.
My parents came to see us off at the train station last year (got the airport train) and it was the worst decision of the whole process.
The sight of my mother stood on the platform whist we were on the train waiting to leave will say with me unfortunately. She was in tears and broke down, my Dad had to hold her, he was choking up and my Sister was also in tears. My 3 year old son thought we were just going on a day trip and was smiling and waving at them, and then the train moved away and left me with such a numb feeling, felt like I was going to be sick. This feeling lasted until at least 4 days after our arrival in Sydney.
Then I started work, started Skyping and generally getting on with life, the sadness doesn't go away but you learn to deal with it.
My parents are coming over for Christmas and will be staying until mid Feb, can't wait to see them but I do worry about saying goodbye again, won't be going to the airport, will probably just go straight to work and get on with things.
In an effort to make things a bit easier we will be thinking about arranging our holiday back to the UK when my parents are here. That way it won't be so much of a goodbye, we will know exactly when we will be seeing them again and the countdown will have started to that, I don't know how else to deal with it.
Wish I never read this thread actually.
My parents came to see us off at the train station last year (got the airport train) and it was the worst decision of the whole process.
The sight of my mother stood on the platform whist we were on the train waiting to leave will say with me unfortunately. She was in tears and broke down, my Dad had to hold her, he was choking up and my Sister was also in tears. My 3 year old son thought we were just going on a day trip and was smiling and waving at them, and then the train moved away and left me with such a numb feeling, felt like I was going to be sick. This feeling lasted until at least 4 days after our arrival in Sydney.
Then I started work, started Skyping and generally getting on with life, the sadness doesn't go away but you learn to deal with it.
My parents are coming over for Christmas and will be staying until mid Feb, can't wait to see them but I do worry about saying goodbye again, won't be going to the airport, will probably just go straight to work and get on with things.
In an effort to make things a bit easier we will be thinking about arranging our holiday back to the UK when my parents are here. That way it won't be so much of a goodbye, we will know exactly when we will be seeing them again and the countdown will have started to that, I don't know how else to deal with it.
Wish I never read this thread actually.
Last edited by Jon77; Sep 17th 2012 at 11:19 am.
Sep 17th 2012, 11:47 am
#11
Social Grenade Thrower
Joined: Jan 2008
Location: South Coast, NSW
Posts: 3,625
Re: Does saying goodbye get any easier???
Thats a fair call...but I did say GENERALLY!!! But then again I do have a black godless heart!!
But then again I do have a black godless heart!!
Sep 17th 2012, 12:01 pm
#12
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Feb 2009
Location: UK
Posts: 14,284
Re: Does saying goodbye get any easier???
Yes it might generally be easier for men, but mainly I think it depends on how independent the individual is. I think one of the factors to a successful emigration is being independent and that is why I honestly wonder why people that are so emotional about leaving their families would consider it. Mr BS and I did not shed a single tear between us. 
Sep 17th 2012, 12:09 pm
#13
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Joined: Jun 2005
Location: Limerick-Shropshire- Perth.
Posts: 3,215
Re: Does saying goodbye get any easier???
No it never gets any easier, and I disagree that is affects us blokes less, it kills me every time I say goodbye. Maybe we just talk about it less and don't show it, I know I bottle it all up.
My parents came to see us off at the train station last year (got the airport train) and it was the worst decision of the whole process.
The sight of my mother stood on the platform whist we were on the train waiting to leave will say with me unfortunately. She was in tears and broke down, my Dad had to hold her, he was choking up and my Sister was also in tears. My 3 year old son thought we were just going on a day trip and was smiling and waving at them, and then the train moved away and left me with such a numb feeling, felt like I was going to be sick. This feeling lasted until at least 4 days after our arrival in Sydney.
Then I started work, started Skyping and generally getting on with life, the sadness doesn't go away but you learn to deal with it.
My parents are coming over for Christmas and will be staying until mid Feb, can't wait to see them but I do worry about saying goodbye again, won't be going to the airport, will probably just go straight to work and get on with things.
In an effort to make things a bit easier we will be thinking about arranging our holiday back to the UK when my parents are here. That way it won't be so much of a goodbye, we will know exactly when we will be seeing them again and the countdown will have started to that, I don't know how else to deal with it.
Wish I never read this thread actually.
My parents came to see us off at the train station last year (got the airport train) and it was the worst decision of the whole process.
The sight of my mother stood on the platform whist we were on the train waiting to leave will say with me unfortunately. She was in tears and broke down, my Dad had to hold her, he was choking up and my Sister was also in tears. My 3 year old son thought we were just going on a day trip and was smiling and waving at them, and then the train moved away and left me with such a numb feeling, felt like I was going to be sick. This feeling lasted until at least 4 days after our arrival in Sydney.
Then I started work, started Skyping and generally getting on with life, the sadness doesn't go away but you learn to deal with it.
My parents are coming over for Christmas and will be staying until mid Feb, can't wait to see them but I do worry about saying goodbye again, won't be going to the airport, will probably just go straight to work and get on with things.
In an effort to make things a bit easier we will be thinking about arranging our holiday back to the UK when my parents are here. That way it won't be so much of a goodbye, we will know exactly when we will be seeing them again and the countdown will have started to that, I don't know how else to deal with it.
Wish I never read this thread actually.
Sep 17th 2012, 12:21 pm
#14
Social Grenade Thrower
Joined: Jan 2008
Location: South Coast, NSW
Posts: 3,625
Re: Does saying goodbye get any easier???
Yes it might generally be easier for men, but mainly I think it depends on how independent the individual is. I think one of the factors to a successful emigration is being independent and that is why I honestly wonder why people that are so emotional about leaving their families would consider it. Mr BS and I did not shed a single tear between us.
We said our goodbyes at the hotel to my wifes parents, everyone felt it was best that way. No tears, just smiles and waves.
I suppose that being in the Navy and spending so much time away I don't have the 'leaving is such sweet sorrow' gene in me! I called my own parents a week before we left to say goodbye!
Sep 17th 2012, 12:40 pm
#15
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,253
Re: Does saying goodbye get any easier???
lol.....very true.
We said our goodbyes at the hotel to my wifes parents, everyone felt it was best that way. No tears, just smiles and waves.
I suppose that being in the Navy and spending so much time away I don't have the 'leaving is such sweet sorrow' gene in me! I called my own parents a week before we left to say goodbye!
We said our goodbyes at the hotel to my wifes parents, everyone felt it was best that way. No tears, just smiles and waves.
I suppose that being in the Navy and spending so much time away I don't have the 'leaving is such sweet sorrow' gene in me! I called my own parents a week before we left to say goodbye!