shazza2003

hi there everybody, bit of a dilema for me, hope i don't waffle too much but would apprecialte advice on this. myself, my husband and my 4 boys aged from 10 to 14 went to oz a year and half ago to spend 4 weeks with family, loved it!!! we came back and felt like we wanted to emigrate and have a better life, we told the family and friends which didn't go down too well at all with my side anyway and i have had tears and all sorts making me feel really guilty, my husbands side were quite good and said they could understand why, a year down the the line has left me feeling really unsettled and i seem to be coming up with every reason not to go i.e work, my husband is a painter and decorater, if he could get work before we got there i would feel better, the price of houses going up out there, lots of things, i also have lots of reasons for going but seem to be putting them to the back of my mind, i daren't do it but no if i don't i will regret it. My husband is really up for going and is always on the internet looking at houses and trying to convince me. HELP wot do i do.
hope somebody out there has got some answers. thanx

Troood

Hiya

You could spend all your life thinking "what if" etc. You only have one life - so live it. It's a rollercoaster ride of emotions, some good, some bad once you decide to give it a go - but wouldn't it be better to at least try it rather than ending up in your old age regretting it.

Loads of us have gone through the same questions as you have - and we're still in the dark as to whether it will work out for us. BUT, I couldn't stand not knowing - that would be much worse.

Lots of people think we're mad - we've sold a fantastic home, giving up good jobs, leaving family behind and have never set foot in Oz. We are looking at it as an adventure. We want more children and a less stressful existance. Whilst we are under no illusions that it will be a big step for us all we want to give it a try.

Once you've made your decision, stay focussed. If all else fails you can always come home.

Good Luck Matey

ANA123

Dont know if its right for you Shazza but the wobbles are definately normal!!!

Good luck with whatever you decide

walaj

first of all do you qualify for a visa - if you don't then you have an answer - look at plabs FAQs of where to get started.

if the visa is no problem some of the issues you need to think about (& this is by no means complete list and is in no particular order)

- do a pro/con list of moving - then research, research, research (3Rs here ) Eg read returning to UK forum, speak to your cousins, to question if you assumptions/reasons have foundation.

- cost - to apply, emigrate, option to return if you don't like it. Would you be happy to return to a smaller property if the currency/property market work against you?

- do you have a strong relationship with your husband? - it is a stressful process which you will need the support of each other

- the timing on your sons education, especially those nearing exams

- Are you adaptable to change - eg cope without the family close by

- job opportunities - no good having that dream house if you need a job to pay for the other expenses in life

- how do you cope with hot weather is Perth/Darwin/Brisbane going to be too hot?

Everyone has doubts along the emigration path qestioning if what they are doing is the right thing, afterall we are all more comfortable with familiarity.

No one can tell you to go or to stay - that is a decision that you and your immediate family need to make.

All the best with which ever decision you make

shazza2003

wot lovely replies, thanx for that,it definately makes you feel more positive talking to people in the same position as all my friends just don't understand, maybe i should put the forms in and go for it, does anybody know of anybody getting work before they get there

Brian & Lou

I think it is normal to feel uncertain, especially if family are against it, but you won't know how you feel unless you try it. Have you thought about renting out your property here rather than selling so that if you don't like it then you can come back? I have never been either but am looking at it as a huge adventure and know that if we didn't try it then a few years down the line there will be massive 'what if's'. How do your children feel about the whole thing? If they are up for it too then I would say to at least give it a go. Have you applied for a Visa yet? How far down the application line are you? Its a stressful process but according to most people on here its well worth it. Good luck with your decision!

shazza2003

we should be able to apply for a desiganted area visa, i have spent so long researching, we also at one point got all my husbands forms and things together to send off for the tra, but just never did it due to me, we do have a really strong realtionship and i no that wouldn't be a problem, as far as the kids my eldest is 14 this year so if we are going to, we need to do it now, i've tried to push it out of my head and have forgot how close we were to just sending it all off, everybody is just waiting on me, the kids really want to go too thanx again the support really helps

Pheobe

Hi there
We've never been to Oz before.
Husband is a nurse and has actually been offered a job in Melbourne.
I think most people have anxieties about what it will be like, but like some of the others we have looked at it as a "big adventure".
We said now or never (would always look back and say 'what if', if we didn't take the plunge).
Hope you can get all your pros and cons together and that you can come up with the best solution for you.
All the best

brijacq

Our family are in smae situation, but only this time it is my husband who is having the doubts and I am all for it.
We have two young sons aged 9 & 6 and I wouldn't like to get to the ripe old age of 80 and wonder what my life could hve been like down under. If it doesn't work out then my thoughts are, we can always come back but at least we have given it a go. Maybe a bit worse of money wise but it would be something to tell the grandchildren.
My husband is an electrician and we just in the process of gathering the info needed to send to TRA and I sometimes think is it all gonna be worth it, but hey anywhere is better than miserable grey & cold Britian and the moment.

soapy©

we were most of the way down the line before we told anyone. we gave them 8 weeks warning that we were leaving. it shocked them all. but we started cutting ties with most people months before that. they didnt know. but it gave us an idea what it would be like without them. i have a large family 5 brothers and 4 sisters who relied on me more than most. so it was really hard for them and me when i broke the news. but u need to live your life for u and your kids. look at it this way. when your kids get old enough, they might up and leave you for Oz and it might be too late for u then.
im only here a few weeks and i still ask myself if ive done the right thing bringing 3 teenagers away from everything they know.
but i know i have, because one day i might go back. i wont have faild,just had a long long holiday. and i have opened my kids eyes to a whole new world and way of thinking.

soapy

shazza2003

i no, i will regret it all if i don't, but its scary and my kids are so keen, soapy how have your kids settled and how old are they i have 1 teenager nearly 14, why can't people just be happy for you, i've turned out to be the only friend that everybody can't cope without, doesn't help, my mum said to me that she'll be alright and that her friends daughter lived abroad when she died, i really don't need that thanx again everybody this really helps

soapy©

our lot are , lad 19 loves it. he should have work by the begining of the week. 2 daughters 14 and 16 years old.
our 14 year old was a bit weary about moving she had a lot of pals back home. and really started to miss them the day after the leaving party lol. but she has settled really well. she has found a big group of pals already and she has only been at school for just over a week. the 16 year old thinks kids here are a lot nicer to each other than back in the uk. she is very quiet, but has already started to make friends.
once family got over the fact that we were going they were happy for us. its a big shock to them. but your not dead ! your only 24 hours away. we set up the internet as soon as wee got a house. before that the kids used internet cafes to keep in touch with their pals in the uk. my father is 74 and i thaught him how to use the pc before i left. he emails me most days. we can send photos too. its not like the old days. we are in contact more now than we were before we left lol.
a lot of family and friends claim they cant live without u. but if they are true friends they will contact u by phone or email.
as for your mum. i had something like that with my dad. he started leaving the gas on and stuff, but it was only when he knew i was gonna visit lol. its their way of trying to make u change your mind. if u asked them if they wanted u to be unhappy for the rest of your life because they didnt want u to go. what answer do u think they would get?
its really good to have doubts it helps u see the whole picture. the replies u have had to your post are great. ask your family and friends why they dont want u to go. and if youve already done your pros and cons, u can give them all the answers.
by the way, when i did my pros and con. i got 3 cons and loads of pros. so it wasnt too hard to answer peoples fears about us leaving.

soapy

friends

Go for it. You will live with regrets if you dont. Lots of older people you talk to back in the uk say we thought about living abroad and did not and now regret it. They will never no. If you qualify for a visa why not try. If you dont like it here after a time at least you have had an adventure and tried. You will have memories of it and you can say you did it rather than i wanted to and did not. One piece of advice is to rent here and not sell your uk home until you have been here a year or so.It is a wonderful place and great lifestyle but you may miss your family at home to much and want to return. Dont cut all ties. Come with an open mind and dont expect to much. It takes years to make the friendships you have in the uk. It will take that here to. Alot of people do not think that side if things matter but at times you will feel lonely and crave your uk life and friends. See it as two years away and trying something new.

janeyray

This sounds just like us!!! We to had a good home, good jobs and left close family behind. We had (well hubby) had never set foot in OZ before. We also want mor echildren and are from Nottingham!!

It has been an adventure, a big one and an expensive one. You're right, if you don't like it you can always go back!!

Happy days and good luck!

shazza2003

thanx for all the posts, you all are right i know you are and i have found myself nodding and smiling all the time i've been reading, i wish i had put this post on a long time ago, i have told my friends about the internet and my sis who just keeps telling everybody i'm not going and answering for me everytime somebody questions me on it, but i just get, not the same as nipping in for a cuppa, i've said you can come and see me and i just get couldn't fly that far so won't be able to, i can only give so may answers, its hard enough think about change in my life without trying to organise everybody else, i do love them all dearly!!! its true about you talk to people more, we speak to are cousins in oz once a week which is more than i talk to my family and friends here, keep um coming this great thanx