Timber Floor Au

Was at work today, and Debs calls me...

She is whispering, and im in a crap signal area...

I lose my temper, and tell her speak up, as im hanging off a ladder, fag in me gob, fone in nape of neck, and 60 kilo aircon balancing on my Didgereedont. ! lol
She yells " THERES A F*****G SNAKE JUST SLITHERED UP THE HALL !! YOU TERWATTT !!!"

silence .... ..... you still there, she whispers...

Yer , I am lol, was it big... WAS !!!!! SHE SCREAMS you mean I S !

Ive locked myself in my office, and its heading towards your office and kids rooms... im phoning the snakeman !!!

Luckily, when webought the house, previous owners gave us details of water tank ppl, plumber, lawn man, and a snakeman !

For 2 hrs I couldnt, call her as I have no credit on my crappy mobile.. i have a brainwave, use my mates fone !! im a geniarse !!

I call her, and snakeman has been, but found nothing. Said it sounds like a green tree snake, and they are pretty harmless, no venom, but can bite, and secrete a wet fart if provoked.

I arrive home from work, and shes still locked in her office.

I have a scout around, and to cut long story short, we find the snake curled up behind sons bookcase in his bedroom. Its a BIGGUN !!

I shout debs to get me some, barbecue tongs !!

She yells back, what ya gonna do with them, !!!

I yell back, cook us a fuc*** barby ya daft cow !!! ( in sarcky angry monotone )

Terwattt she yells back, and scurries in with small bbq tongs ! and some palmolive marigold glovs , hurls them at me and skidaddles !!!

I try in vain to grab the snake, it is a green tree snake, the bugger is to strong for my Bunnings BBQ tongs. I yell to debs, get me a hook and a mop stick...

Keeping a beedy eye on the snake, who im getting to like, i create this blue peter snake catcher thingy.

I test it, its crap.

The snake, is about 1.2 metres long, and at his fattest about babies leg thickness. Bright olive green, and a yellow head, with huge forked tongue.

He clambers up the window, and perches himself atop my sons, curtain pole.

Debs calls the snakeman, who inbetween coming around earlier, and now, has been having a few drinks with his mates.

She goes and picks him up. This is no bullshit, i swear !!!

They arrive back 10 mins later, and I for the 1st time, meet our SNAKEMAN !

Hes about 50-55, weighing 50 kilos wringing wet, covered in tattoos, no teeth, a snake hook, a snake bag and only one arm

YES ONE ARM !!!!

Was like the fella outta robins nest !!!

He clambers on chair, bag in teeth, and grabs the snake, lobs it in the bag, and says THERE YA GO !!!

Well Debs was so pleased, she yelled YIPPEEE , I was gonna shake his hand, but got confused, so didnt, and said thanks...

He left !!

donna

Bloody classic,it could be a TV sketch.

Seacaptain

I shouldn't laugh at your scary event, but your description made us laugh out loud so we thank you for sending us to work with a smile!

Glad to hear it all ended well!

renth

Classic!

Sue2

PMSL

How the hell did it get in :scared: or are you brave and leave all ya doors and windows open :scared:Me.... I'm obsessed with the old fly screens

Sue

hilary6

Bloody hell :scared:
Just wondering if you keep a diary Steve?
I love reading your tales
Hilary

wanderingwombat

Did you know that under QLD law if you had hurt it you would have had to give it mouth to mouth!

My BIL was driving out of the bush behind Canberra when they came across a bloke stopped on the side of the road with the car boot up. Doing the right the BIL stops and asks the bloke if he needs help.

"I've just run over a snake".

"No worries then" BIL

"I put it in the boot"

BIL goes to have a look and it's a big red belly black with a serious attitude, having just been stirred up a bit... :scared: :scared:

"I was going to take it to a vet to have it checked".

BIL saved him some money.

WW

ohippy

OMG I feel sick now - I'd die if I found that in my house !

donna

Renth.Is that frank zappa ?
donna,

Anastasia Beaverhausen

LMAO, I love your stories. Brilliant

Anastasia Beaverhausen

It certainly is. Nice pic renth

movetoperth

It would have made a lovely handbag though

Did you the snake man from Robins nest how he lost his arm???

Thanks for brightening my afternoon

Lynn

Nicky & Dave

Think the snake bloke sounds more scary than the snake ..... and I'd be trifle concerned if a snake-catcher rocks up with only one arm!

Nicky

renth

Yes, are you a fan too?

donna

A bit of one,i particulary like bobby brown,hubby is a massive fan,we had serious mourning when he died.Trying to recoup the music collection at the moment as i gave away his vinyl before we came(yes i know)but its all imports now.
donna