Hi,
Difficult subject I know but my mum is very ill and is not expected to last much longer, days rather than weeks, maybe hours. This has been expected for a while so it's not a surprise but is still not easy.

Does anyone know the amount of time to arrange a funeral in the UK? I'm planning to be there but for very complicated reasons may not be able to get there until about 2-3 weeks after she dies. My thought is to plan the funeral from here, we have friends back home who can help, and arrive a couple of days before.

Has anyone had experience of this?

Thanks,

Firstly, I'm sorry about your mum. It's never easy losing a loved one.

While I don't have experience of planning a funeral from overseas, I did plan my son's last year. I had to sign a few papers to do it, but I'm sure that the funeral home would be able to email/fax it to you? Something to ask your chosen provider. With my son we delayed the funeral for 12 days for a couple of reasons, including my ex's partner being overseas and having to arrange to get back. I would think 2 weeks shouldn't be too big a problem for them.

Perhaps find a funeral home and contact them now to work out the details? Best of luck organising things.

I would speak to a couple of funeral homes. I know people who have had to delay funerals it can be done. They should have appropriate storage facilities, but not all places will do this for you.

It is the thing we all dread, but part of the ‘package’ for migrants.
On a better note I recently had to make an unexpected trip to the UK at a weeks notice and the flight prices were just as good as those booked well in advance!

Sorry to hear about your mother. Would it be worth checking if she has already made the arrangements herself? I know my grandparents have already arranged everything themselves so it would be just a case of ringing the funeral home and letting them know. The death will need to be registered beforehand though.

https://www.gov.uk/after-a-death

Hi

Sorry about your mum.

I had to do similar back in 2013. Mum passed away the day I left to go to the UK to visit her, so ended up having to plan the funeral instead of taking her on trips out.

There was a delay of nearly 3 weeks for the funeral, because it was a busy time of year. She passed away on the 15th November, her funeral was 3 December. This was the earliest date they could give us. I had to fly back home on 6th, so it was the only date we could have.

The funeral directors were very accommodating, but timing will also depend on whether she is having a burial or cremation, church service or crematorium.

Someone, usually Next of Kin, has to register the death. I'm not sure if that is something that can be done from overseas.

Also, think about the eulogy. Would it be possible for your mum to write down, or tell someone, if she has any specific wishes, such as hymns, songs etc? That will make organising the service easier as you just need to let the funeral directors know her wishes. Order of Service etc, photographs, eulogy, flowers, where to hold the wake, catering for the wake etc. These are all things the funeral directors should be able to assist with either directly, or by putting you in touch with companies they use.

It was a huge learning curve for me, having never planned a funeral, and having to do it in a very short timescale, while also visiting other family and friends while I was there.

If you are going to have friends help, I would suggest being very precise and exact in any instructions - use email to support any phone conversations so they have the information in writing - it's amazing what can be lost in translation during a phone call.

Try to get an up to date contact list of all family and friends, so they can be informed. My mum had so many different address books, it was really hard to determine what was the up to date information and also, who was still alive!! Make sure any specific instructions are on the invitations - ie my mum hated black, so all mourners were asked to wear bright colours - flowers, where they are to be delivered (usually the funeral home) or donations to charity. Will there be a piece in the obituary page of the local paper? If so, what will it say?

And don't forget thank you notes/cards, for those who come to the service. We did something along the lines of 'thank you for attending, mum would have been so humbled at how many people came and the distances that were travelled etc, etc. It was lovely to see you, albeit for such a sad occasion but the family thank you for coming and your heartfelt condolences'

Good luck, it's an unenviable task.

Sorry to hear about your mum.

My m-i-l died in July 2016. The funeral was about 3 weeks later and that was only because we pushed hard for it to be that early. A friend died in early December last year; the funeral was 9 January. There is a chronic shortage of crematoria in the UK and at this time of year, I suspect you'd be lucky for the funeral to be within 4 weeks.

So sorry to hear about your mum. I think timings depend very much on where you are, the type of funeral you want and the demand for the facilities. Around here the pressure on the Crem can easily mean a 3-4 week wait. A woodland burial for my mum last Year was 22 days but we could have scrambled about and just squeaked it in to 15 if we’d been desperate. A friend, a few years ago died 2 days before Christmas and they couldn’t get a Crem spot until 31 Jan which was much too long.

It’s going to be a tough time so look after yourself and all the best!

Yes recently. Death on 28 oct funeral nov 24. This would have been Earlier if it had been cremation not burial. Weather in winter can also cause further delay. I was surprised at the time frame but many factors involved.

Thanks for the info and kind wishes everyone.

Incredibly difficult and sad time for you and all your family.
I hope you manage to sort everything as you would wish it to be.


One of my great pals & husband's cousin.Passed away 9th November. Buried 22nd December.

Had the same in 2013. Had a call from my brother to say the Mother wasn't well. Booked flights for a couple of days later with the return a week later. Just leaving for the airport and got a call to say she'd died. We landed on Easter Friday and we managed by a lot of discussion to get the funeral for the following Thursday so we wouldn't have to change our flights. We were originally told it could be no quicker than three weeks but they found a space. I don't understand why the UK take so long to cremate/bury, it's appalling and there's no real reason.

If you need a certain date for flight or other reasons, hold out for it.

Sympathies, it's a horrible thing to go through when you should only be dealing with the loss of a loved one.