Homer

So you say

coxfamuk

To have someone clean my house for me would be worth going without some of the materialistic stuff. unfortunately, my husband doesn't see it that way - why would he when he has someone to clean the house for free so he doesn't have to go without.

coxfamuk

I grew up in South Africa where just about every household has a domestic maid. It was a HUGE culture shock to come here and start doing my own cleaning (we always cooked our own meals, but most of my friends didn't). However, 8 years on, and when I go back to South Africa, I don't like the maids cleaning for me. I actually prefer to do it myself. When it is your own house, you take more pride in it. There is a sense of satisfaction gained when you do it yourself. I love the fact that I do my own house - I do feel like a 'proper' wife and mum. I also have appreciation for what the maids do back in SA. I don't necessarily like the housework (who does) and I would like someone to do the ironing - that is one job that never gets done because I hate it - but I do feel like I am achieving something when I have done it.

pitchell

I also grew up in South Africa and struggled when we moved to the UK. I had to do my own housework!!!!! But you do learn to take care of your house yourself and take some pride in it. Tho, having said that, with 6 children, we are now getting a part-time cleaner - My children and husband deserve my time more than the house does

I dont think the original poster asked anything offensive - it was a genuine question IMO and the moral backlash wasnt necessary. Different cultures and countries refer to things differently.

coxfamuk

6 children :scared: ! Yes, I would also get part-time help. As it is, my two generate enough washing already!!!!

It is difficult to make people understand unless you have actually lived in that environment. I have to say, when I first read the OP post, I thought he must be taking the P, but I do know saffas who have brought their maids with them. When you get used to a certain way of life, if you can afford it, sometimes it is difficult to give it up. Believe me, when we first got to the UK, I would have given my right arm to have been able to bring my maid with me. But we couldn't, so we just mucked in and got on with it. I am in favour of a better quality of life though and so would definitely hire a cleaner to help out if we could afford it.

Homer

WOW just think how satisfied you would of felt if you had done it all to begin with

banjo

in a country like South Africa which has such a high unemployment rate....hiring a 'maid' means you are actually helping the economy. Do you think that the more financially sound should just hand out money to those less well off? Surely it's better to give a job and a bit of self-respect rather than turning people into beggars?!

JackTheLad

It really depends on where Alex and his wife are coming from. In HK, it's not considered derogatory to call a domestic helper (the local PC term) a servant or a maid. However "servant" is a more old-fashioned term and many people still use it. "Maid" is very also commonly used. The derogatory Cantonese term there is "Bun Mui" which translates literally to "Philipina girl". It's kind of strange because there are Thai and Indonesian domestic helpers too but they are never called Thai girl or Indonesian girl, just Thai/Indonesian maid/servant.

Slightly off topic here. There are lots of stories of employers mistreating their maids but most employers do treat them with respect. Due to the large number of domestic helpers in HK and people's increasing awareness of how to treat them right, whenever there is an abuse you will hear about it. It's not because the number of abuses is increasing but just because there are more and more foreign domestic helpers. Last I heard there are over 200,000 foreign domestic helpers in HK and more than half of them from the Philippines.

Personally I would give Alex the benefit of the doubt as I don't know him or his wife or their background. They can be just a bit naive, that's all.

Mrs JTL

ACE

Didn't quite undestand your reply

Teri

I am South African on my way to OZ. I can appreciate you needing help with 6 children, but that said, I also know of a well off South African family with 10 children (yes - really) and they do not have any help. They have a well managed chores list where everybody does their little bit to keep the home organised and clean. And I have to tell you that they have the nicest children I have ever met in my lifetime. Every one of their kids are well mannered, kind, organised and do really well at school. Not only that - their mother has numerous degrees and is studying further for other degrees/honours - not quite sure exactly what. She says that she is by no means supermom - but is able to do the extra things because her kids are so great at helping around the house and helping each other and very often leaving her with a lot of free time to spend with them or on her studies.

I am inspired by their example, because I think the children learn a lot from this way of life and it is really good for their character in the long term.

Teri

I really agree with you. We are still in SA on our way to OZ shortly, and I recently arranged for our domestic worker to go to another family, firstly because I wanted to make sure that she was taken care of and secondly because I wanted our family to start getting use to cleaning up after themselves.

What a nightmare! I know realise how bad it was for their character to have somebody cleaning up after them. They struggle to do the smallest tasks - like make your bed, get your school clothes ready for tomorrow, put your sports togs into the washing machine. I feel as though I have been a terrible mother, I have turned them into lazy people. But - determined to turn them into self sufficient young people soon :-)

alexleeson

I didn't mean to cause a great fuss. I was not taking the p*** and I certainly didn't expect five pages of threads on what to me was a simple question!

Thank you for the comments from the SA people (probably the most beautiful country I have been to!) who have experienced the transition from having help to DIY. I am sure it will be hard at first but she will cope fine in the end. She is far from a spoiled person!

Out of the two of us, I am the one that has experienced keeping house. I looked after my father (who was disabled) for five years after my mum died (all cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping, dressing, feeding etc). So helping my wife out is not going to be a problem at all. For the first few months however we will get help for cleaning/laundry - and slowly wean off it!

As for everyone else's comments. I am actually seconded in the Philippines. 'Maid' is the normal word to describe 'domestic helper'. It is is just not so politically correct for some of you. I didn't mean to offend!

Contrary to what people may think about having maids, our two maids are as much part of the family as anything else. We certainly don't have a 'victorian attitude' towards domestic staff.

It is actually a nice life for them - they have their own room, tv, cd, bathroom, every sunday off, with money for eating out and are paid way above the local norm for maids, they don't pay for anything, (even medicines/doctors, hygiene products, toiletries etc) and we even pay their airfare to their provinces for christmas. Compare that to the otherwise poverty they would live in! We are indeed helping not only them, but their families too and the economy.

Having a maid is a privelege but it is a responsibility too, which we have always taken seriously.

Phoenixuk2oz

Now THAT post sounds much more respectful and demonstrates a caring person, unlike your first post

I apologise. Seems I got it wrong. You are not a troll.

In that case, you will be able to find home help of all sorts here in Aus. As for the cost of those services I would imagine they vary depending on what you want, where you live etc. As others have said before, it may be prudent for you to check out the internet sites as these may provide some good indication.

Good luck with your search....and your new life in Aus.

TopCat3

Thank you for being so gracious. I think it is a shame others on here weren't so. I don't think you need to be patronised now either, to make up for the insults. How quickly people rush to judge and show what appears to be self-righteous behaviour when something outside of their experience is presented to them in what, for you, was an entirely natural way.

mary1

All sounds very nice but this didn't happen very often in the days of apartheid.
I'm glad I live in a country with minimum wages and workers rights.