Complete Newbie
 

Hi there. I'm here looking for a little advice.

My hubby and I have often talked about moving out to Oz, but usually when life's getting us down, or it's raining so heavily you feel the roof just might cave in over your head!
But now we seem to be taking things really seriously. So maybe this will seem too early to some of you for me to be here!

My husband visited Australia when he was around 21, he fell in love with the whole country and drools over the prospect of living there, his mind is made up, which does put me under some pressure to hurry and make my own decision (this is entirely my own feeling, he's completely willing to wait for me to be sure and isn't pushing!!! :) ). I am from a large family who have their problems, but when push comes to shove, we are always there for one another. My question is one which undoubtedly many of you will have faced during your own decision making stages: how do you make that final choice? Maybe that's impossible to answer! But I wouldn't mind knowing what gave you the final push, so to speak! I really only have one big issue going round in my head holding me back. My Nana, she's well into her 80's, and without ending up crying again I hope you can read between the lines to those implications on leaving! :unsure:

Also, I should add that I have never been to Oz!! And the possibility of visiting isn't really there (money issues!), has anyone made a decision to leave ol' blighty without seeing where they're headed? I would purely have to take my mans' word for the place, and though I trust him (of course) this IS a life-changing decision!

I would really appreciate anyone leaving their thoughts for me!

Re: Complete Newbie
 

Hi and welcome to BE.............

We are off to Aus shortly and although my OH doesnt have much family to leave behind I do!! My dad is 70 this year and unable to fly short or longhaul so we will only get to see him on return visits to the UK :( This has been a hard decision to make believe me BUT you have to do what you think is right for your own little family at the end of the day dont you.

Grab whatever oppotunities come your way as you never know when or if they will come along again!!! ;)

Good Luck C x

Re: Complete Newbie
 

Just wanted to back up what Shiels said really. You have to think of your own family, whats best for your kids. We have been thinking about it for the last 4yrs and finally taken the plunge. Life is too short as they say. A friend of mine died of a heart attack at the age of 34 and thats what made my mind up. You can always come back if it doesn't work out, but at least you tried it, instead of thinking "what if".
Thousands migrate without visiting oz first . As we have teenage kids we thought its only fair on them to have a visit first, fortunately they loved it there.

Re: Complete Newbie
 

Thanks! It's good to know I'm not alone in not being able to visit first! My sister, sister-in-law and several friends have been lucky enough to visit and have all come back in love with the country, so I'm not really too worried about falling in love with it too! I know you have to think of yourself in all decisions, after all, I have to live with the outcome! I just feel so selfish! I take it that's common too?!

Re: Complete Newbie
 

But you are not thinking of just yourself, you are thinking of the future of your close family. I'm lucky in a way compared to my wife as both my parents have passed away, but my wife has a large close family. We live 300 miles away from them, but when they visit for a couple of weeks at a time it's quality time. When we lived around the corner it was a case of in and out in minutes and using them for babysitting purposes. You are at the very start of the process, your emotions will be like a rollercoaster.

Re: Complete Newbie
 

No kidding! I've gone through more tissues this week than I can keep track of, and yet I'm completely exhilerated by the idea of a new start!

Re: Complete Newbie
 

Hi,
my OH and myself have recently like yourselves' have decided to 'bail out' of the UK and seek a better life in Australia.
The decision was one we had joked about a few years ago; if we haven't started a family by the time my OH was 35 ish, etc,etc.
We now have a little boy who is 2 years 2 months old and it is the thought of what the UK is going to be like when he is growing up scared us.
Other reasons include overcrowding, immigration ( or the lack of it in the UK ), a new start, better ( hopefully ) prospects, change in way of life, weather, lifestyle, the UK going to the dogs, getting too expensive here, UK stealth taxes. generally fed up, etc,etc. All these reasons i have seen elsewere as why Brits want to go to Aus, I'm sure you are no different.

I have no family but the wife does so there was some soul searching about leaving, some hard decisions to tell people, and some recrimminations about taking grandchildren away from their granparents ( apparently we are so selfish !!!!!!.- This came from a work mate and NOT parents; they were upset but happy and supportive ).
Friends have all wished us well and said they'll be out for a cheap holiday!
There is also the issue that everything here is familiar and you know where you are and where to go for everything.

We considered the possibility of visiting first before applying as we have never been to Aus before but we decided not to; its hard to be objective on a 2/3 week holiday. Other people seem to manage OK so why can't we!

Take your time to make up your own mind about moving as it's a hard enough slog with the application process even if like us you choose to use an agency to help. The emmotional rollercoster even after you say yes is still weird, one day ok and the next panicky about everything.

Four us it is the right decision to go, and the right time to see if we like life 'down under' but listen also to someone who is negative, you might just see something in a new light.

I hope you make the right decision whatever it may be.
Johnnyyt

Re: Complete Newbie
 

If it's any comfort we emigrated over four years ago with two kids in tow without ever visiting. A trip back to the Uk at Christmas was our first return visit after 4 years. I think we'll be reducing the frequency of return trips...

We have only had one trip from rellies to come and see us.

People in your family will die, why does that require you to not follow your own dreams?

Re: Complete Newbie
 

Hi........welcome to BE! :)

Making that choice is so very very difficult - and it lingers with you after you have made the decision too (and after you have arrived!!).

For us it was a case of 'we'll never know unless we try' - we've given ourselves 2 years and from there we'll decide whether we want to stay or go back - that took the pressure off of it having to be FOREVER - I couldnt cope with that!

AT the moment I would get on the next flight home tomorrow - but thats just because my mum has just gone back after a 6 week stay :() - I'll just warn your........saying goodbye at this end is even harder than saying goodbye in the UK (well it was for me anyway!).

Good luck with your decision..........whatever you decide :)

Rach xxxx

Re: Complete Newbie
 

Welcome to BE:D Whatever decision you make it will be the right one for you!

Life is short - give it a go - if you dont like it you can always go back but it is better to have tried it than not done it at all:)

It was def the right decision for us after a lot of soul searching, but, we have not regretted it for one single minute - our lives are brimming to the full now and thats the way we like it - just brilliant:) and the sunshine well....

Take care
Good luck
Gill:)

Re: Complete Newbie
 

Thank you all so much for this! If there's anything I'm learning, it's that there is obviously a huge support network right here if I ever manage to make a choice!! I'm definately swaying towards going. I think at the moment I'm realising that my life is going nowhere sat on my backside in the UK!! The only things holding me here are family ties...but there are phones in Oz, and webcams too!! I'm just too much of a homebird!
Rollercoaster's off for the day then!

Re: Complete Newbie
 

OK, a slightly different question then, OH is in love with Oz after a visit years ago. he saw it through tourists eyes....what grumbles do Aussies have?

Re: Complete Newbie
 

I can't answer that but hopefully someone can. We visited Perth and Adelaide and found them to be completely different from each other, both very nice places though. You may not like one state but love another, oz is a very big place. To be honest it wasn't the country so much i fell in love with but more their lifestyle. From all the oz's i spoke to none had any grumbles about anything, apart from the house prices in Perth. They are too laid back to grumble.

Re: Complete Newbie
 

Pretty much the same as we have (had) in the UK. You know, the price of food, tax, etc.

Re: Complete Newbie
 

I'm actually really amazed at all of you! I feel no closer to making my mind up! And there you are making life changing choices! I've talked with quite a few family members, my dad seemed mainly concerned that with dry grass and lots of barbecues we were begging to have our wooden house (that we haven't bought, so don't have! dur) burnt to ashes! My mum got back to me 2 days later to tell me to do it, not to carry on wasting my life doing nothing here, which wasn't as helpful as I'd thought it would be. Getting her approval on it never really entered my mind, but her giving it the ok has made it seem more realistic somehow. And then I talked with 2 of my sisters, one remained eerily quiet, and the other proceeded to voice every one of my concerns whilst telling me I was selfish, but not in a negative way (sure you lot will understand that!), but telling me I should be selfish, because looking after ourselves is what we are predetermined to do! She doesn't want me to go and take her niece away, and myself of course...I'm rambling aren't I!!??
I'm trying to take a step back from this all, try to be more objective, see if inspiration hits when I'm not looking kind of thing!! Thank you all!

Re: Complete Newbie
 

To be honest, I think that once the idea is in your head it's very hard not to follow up on it. It will most likely sit niggling at you until you give in. ;)

Re: Complete Newbie
 

Hi well where do i start!!! i feel i have to tell you what i think,good or bad,i came here 17 years ago,to Perth,WA not having been here before,did not know anyone.i have liked it here but i still feel i don't 'fit in' weird,it's gets to hot to sit on the beach/can't walk on the sand with out shoes,burnt feet other wise,you can only go to the beach ,parks, markets,bbq, so many times before it gets boring,that's why Perth is kown as 'Dullsville'.job wise,ok i'm a mechanic, earn plenty of money in OZ i was told...NOT,conditions are still worse than the UK.so now to family,most of my hoildays have been going back to the UK,1999 Dad passed away, i could not get a flight to go back,when Mum went,i had to go for 3 weeks,now i already had my leave so it was unpaid,as in the previous years ,and only one wage ,i'm single,i am now in the process of selling up and coming back to 'Good old Blighty'.so think long and hard,of what you are doing,if you can don't sell your house in the UK,to me in the end it's family that counts,and you think the 'rellies' will come,i have a lot but none have ever been.

Re: Complete Newbie
 

Thank for that! I'm actually strangely comforted hearing not everyone loves it over there!! It takes the pressure off to have such a massively positive look. It does help to be able to see both sides of the picture. And it's coming a little clearer. Thanks.

Re: Complete Newbie
 

Hi again
Believe me - there was no one that were more 'homebirds' than us! For a start, we had only been out of Cornwall a few times b4 emigrating to OZ, no holidays every year like a lot of people, only flown once b4 on a very small aircraft to Jersey! None of our family or friends thought we would ever leave family because our ties were so strong, especially mine - total comittment to them. But, opportunities are few and far between Oz is not an easy place to get into as it is!

What you must take on board is Australia is such a BIG country - if it doesn't work out for you or suit you in one state/place you can always try somewhere else - its like the UK not every where suits everyone:)

G

Re: Complete Newbie
 

Well, I've gone nearly 2 whole days without bursting into tears at the mere thought of leaving...so that's a huge improvement! I've talkedit through with so many people now, and I'm coming to realise that I just want telling what to do! Which is just plain stupid. I know. Thing is, all friends and family are saying pretty much the same things, and I know that ultimately it's my choice, and I don't know why I'm pushing myself to make a life-changing decision within a week! How daft can a person get eh?!?
Dunno what hubbies reading on this site either! He directed me here, but he's not joines, it was me who wanted more voices. So I won't say too many of my thoughts, don't want to give him false hope, or put him off either!!
I need more time, so that's what I'm doing now.

Re: Complete Newbie
 

As Nike says, JUST DO IT.

Re: Complete Newbie
 

Ok, I'm on my way!!! JK, wish it was so simple...without all my family ties, I know i'd have said yes ages ago!

Re: Complete Newbie
 

Hi

Perhaps you'll be able to help me?
We are sort of in the same situation as you as in we have agreed yes we would like to move to AUS and now are looking into it.

MY OH would go this afternoon if he could (never ever been to AUS either of us) and ive got 2 boys the 5 yr old says he'd like to go for a day????:rofl: and little un is 19 months.
i
have a very topsy turvy relationship with my parents and can live in AUS no prob really, the only thing that is really worrying me is .....

breaking my little boys heart........... he is dearly in love with both his nannies and he will be distraught when he realises he wont see them for a long long while, at moment he sees my OH mum every other day and my mum once a week at least.


what on earth do i do?

is it cruel and selfish of us to go or do i just bite the bullet and think of the long term benefits for him?

I just feel so upset when i think about how he will feel and knowing that i made him feel like that


?????????:curse:

Marie xx

Re: Complete Newbie
 

It's a toughie isn't it? I do have the advantage over you, LO is only 2, and although she knows who the grandparents are, she (as cruel as it sounds) probably wouldn't miss them too much, although with around a 2 year visa wait, she's going to be getting towards the same point as your eldest at the point of a move (I've not made any decisions, although I have to admit I'm strongly leading towards the adventure!!) In short, I think I'm probably not the person who could give you the final decision. You know what your choices are, and I would suggest talking it all through with both sets of grandparents, you might be surprised at their input. Ultimately you and I need to think what is best for not only our futures, but also the futures of our children. What will be best for them? Staying somewhere for the sake of other people, or making a move that could give them a better future. It's something I've been thinkin over a lot! Also, make 2 lists of pros and cons...one for going to Australia, and anoter for staying in the UK, they will surprise you as they will highlight different things for you! But then, why trust me, I'm as clueless about my own life!! ;)

Re: Complete Newbie
 

Thanks hun,

to be honest deep down im sure we will go im just scared shi**less incase it goes wrong.

Take a deep breath and just try not to think about all the down sides i will still be here 10 yrs time otherwise worrying about it but not doing anything about it

marie x

Re: Complete Newbie
 

hi all,

I'm new to this whole process too except that myself and the other half just decided we'd like to go, now we're facing the reality of visas etc! So we did it the other way round! We're both lucky in that, while we love our families, we don't live near either of them (live in London, mine is in Ireland, his in Scotland) so we're now used to being away from them. I also have a brother in Wollongong outside Sydney who i miss a lot so moving to Oz means I'd get to see more of him..bonus! I can't imagine the tear those of you with kids are facing but the one thing I would say is that you don't have to move forever! Give it a go if you're pretty sure you'd like it. If you don't like it you CAN come back! and then at least it'll be out of your system. I'd rather that then feel like you 'settled' for staying in the UK and never explored what could be the greatest decision you've ever made.

My dad is 73 and after visiting Oz this coming August for my brothers wedding I know he won't take such a long trip again. Gutted at 'leaving' him and not seeing my nephews grow up etc but the way I look at it is that my sisters etc don't live their lives based on what I do, I need to live my life for me.

phew! need a cup o tea now... :rofl:

Tx

Re: Complete Newbie
 

Hi,
To summarize to anyone thinking of moving to Oz the fors and against, this is just my personal feelings/opinions.
For:
Beautiful country.
Truly friendly people (apparently they do have the occasional mass murderer, but I never met anyone who wasn't polite to me in 4 weeks).
Great weather in Western Oz (very hot, but not humid like it is in Queensland)
My husband's aches and pains in his joints went after 2 weeks (bless, he's 50 in Feb, I'm a good bit younger, otherwise we wouldn't get a visa)
Good roads
More for children young people.

Against:
Missing your family/friends.
It's a long way to get to UK if someone is seriously ill. People say it's only a day on a plane, but you have to get time off work, book a flight (which will probably be very expensive if booked last minute).
Not much opportunity to wear my extensive shoe/boot collection, only wore flip-flops(thongs as they say in Oz) for 4 weeks in Oz.

Hope that's helpful.
We're waiting for our visa at present
Regards Sara :)

Re: Complete Newbie
 

Just a quick comment to make on leaving family behind. Before I moved to Oz, I moved down to London/Berkshire from the North. Although I spoke to my folks alot, and popped up on the odd long weekend etc - and I've always thought of us being a very close family BTW. When we moved to Perth, WA we've had family visiting us every year usually for 3 - 4 weeks, which meant I was seeing more of them in actual quality time wise than I did when living in London.

Eventually most of my family have ended up over here now anyway, because they love it here as much as we do. It's not dullsville BTW, you just have to put some effort into having fun - trying new things etc.

Re: Complete Newbie
 

Hi there, I just wante to agree with some previous posters.

It is a huge decision. We moved out 2 months ago and it's cost a far bit to set up so it has to work. The way I've approached it is not to compare and also if you can't get it here you don't get it. You live how everyone else does. I do miss some things but to be honest I stop thinking about them.

My nan is in her 80's to and don't leave the house. I felt so sad and saying my goodbyes was very tough (hard to even think about). The sweetest thing my nan said (which did choke me) was go and live my dream. My nan and pap wanted to move here when my dad was younger but it refused to (if a child could that young if you know what I mean). She also said she'd had her life and we had to go for it. Boy hard even writing this. I hope use our return tickets in March she may be around still maybe not but it is the hardest goodbye of them all. For some of the others we got a bit of acting out. My husbands mum and dad have been so supportive. They have been out several times and have seen how England has changed and think it is also best for our kids.

For us with kids its a no brainer. For my husband I personally I reckon sometimes we would choose England over Oz. I guess we would work hard, take lots of holidays, eat out, shop for lovely clothes and avoid kids at weekends. Saying that I love my kids to bits and family life is what we have to think about.

We had talked about coming for a number of years and it reached a point where we said if we don't try it we will regret it but I would say you have to approach it with the right attitude.

I am probably going but hopefully this helps you if not someone else.

Good luck.

J