Children and ex
Mar 13th 2006 | 6:33 am
#16
Thread Starter
Just Joined
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 12
Re: Children and ex
Originally Posted by FRAYNE
Hello Lottie my son was 18 month's old when i got married for the second time my hubby was in the army and we knew we would have problems when we were posted abroad as my ex was so reluctant to pay maintenance we said if he were to let my new husband adopt our son he wouldn't have to pay any more and he agreed that was 30 years ago and we never heard from him again thank god, good luck I hope everything turns out okay for you and your family.
Janet
Janet
Mar 13th 2006 | 6:35 am
#17
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 2,590
From: In a house
Re: Children and ex
Originally Posted by LOTTIE26
My ex is out of the picture has not had any contact with them for nearly fours years.
We could go down the adoption route but I am trying to think of the expense but its a good option thanks.
We could go down the adoption route but I am trying to think of the expense but its a good option thanks.
Adoption isn't expensive I'm currently doing it has cost me very little, and is going along very quickly as no contact from birth parent...
Mar 13th 2006 | 6:52 am
#18
Thread Starter
Just Joined
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 12
Re: Children and ex
Originally Posted by Australia_bound?
Adoption isn't expensive I'm currently doing it has cost me very little, and is going along very quickly as no contact from birth parent...
Can I ask you how much? if you don't mind.
Will he have to give permission?
Mar 13th 2006 | 9:59 am
#19
I don't re Member
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 1,372
From: Termite Country (Tanah Merah)
Re: Children and ex
Lottie
You are getting a lot of info here and some may be misinformation.
Adoption or not, I am sure your ex, as biological father, must agree to let you take the children out of the country.
Many of us have been in this situation. DebbieMC is the latest to have won the battle (well done!) and probably the most significant to talk to.
I was in a similar situation, no contact for many years but as soon as permission was sought, ex denied permission blaming me for preventing any contact - actually quite difficult to prove to the contrary which I had to do. 1 year later and £10,000 spent, I had won my case and got permission. I had to also agree to pay for my ex to come to Australia and visit the children every 2 years (but they never come as expected!)
As far as I know, if your ex is paying maintenance to the CSA, the CSA is part of govt and that is meant to balance out the payments/benefits you are subsequently receiving from the UK govt. If you are not resident in the UK, your ex is not obliged to pay the CSA.
If your ex was paying you maintenance through a Court Order, this can be upheld and continued when you leave the country for Australia. You may be able to initiate this option depending upon your divorce agreement etc. You may be able to explain the 2 options to your ex as no doubt if it goes legal that would be the advise offered.
I went through this 2 years ago and things change so I may be wrong so please get legal advice. Also, you may be better chatting via PM to people.
By the short intro, sounds like you will succeed but the law and ex's are unpredictable, expensive and time consuming - and stressful!
Good luck, stay focussed and be positive.
Good will always prevail.
Andrew
You are getting a lot of info here and some may be misinformation.
Adoption or not, I am sure your ex, as biological father, must agree to let you take the children out of the country.
Many of us have been in this situation. DebbieMC is the latest to have won the battle (well done!) and probably the most significant to talk to.
I was in a similar situation, no contact for many years but as soon as permission was sought, ex denied permission blaming me for preventing any contact - actually quite difficult to prove to the contrary which I had to do. 1 year later and £10,000 spent, I had won my case and got permission. I had to also agree to pay for my ex to come to Australia and visit the children every 2 years (but they never come as expected!)
As far as I know, if your ex is paying maintenance to the CSA, the CSA is part of govt and that is meant to balance out the payments/benefits you are subsequently receiving from the UK govt. If you are not resident in the UK, your ex is not obliged to pay the CSA.
If your ex was paying you maintenance through a Court Order, this can be upheld and continued when you leave the country for Australia. You may be able to initiate this option depending upon your divorce agreement etc. You may be able to explain the 2 options to your ex as no doubt if it goes legal that would be the advise offered.
I went through this 2 years ago and things change so I may be wrong so please get legal advice. Also, you may be better chatting via PM to people.
By the short intro, sounds like you will succeed but the law and ex's are unpredictable, expensive and time consuming - and stressful!
Good luck, stay focussed and be positive.
Good will always prevail.
Andrew
Mar 13th 2006 | 10:02 am
#20
Nicest member ( I think)
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 1,030
From: Moggill, Brisbane
Re: Children and ex
Originally Posted by LOTTIE26
Two of my children are by my ex.
Not a nice man my hubby has brought them up since youngest was a baby and eldelst 3.
He hasn't seen them since and has no contact with them, they have his name on the birth certificate but use hubbys name but not officially.
Will I need to get his permission to take them to Aus, I know he won't agree,then what happens will we not be allowed to go?
He pays maintainence but only because it is directly taken out of his wages not voluntry.
Making me feel sick and I havn't even started the visa process yet.
Not a nice man my hubby has brought them up since youngest was a baby and eldelst 3.
He hasn't seen them since and has no contact with them, they have his name on the birth certificate but use hubbys name but not officially.
Will I need to get his permission to take them to Aus, I know he won't agree,then what happens will we not be allowed to go?
He pays maintainence but only because it is directly taken out of his wages not voluntry.
Making me feel sick and I havn't even started the visa process yet.
Mar 13th 2006 | 10:19 am
#21
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 3,155
From: in a place near the river and the sea where the sun always shines
Re: Children and ex
Originally Posted by andrew63
Lottie
You are getting a lot of info here and some may be misinformation.
Adoption or not, I am sure your ex, as biological father, must agree to let you take the children out of the country.
Many of us have been in this situation. DebbieMC is the latest to have won the battle (well done!) and probably the most significant to talk to.
I was in a similar situation, no contact for many years but as soon as permission was sought, ex denied permission blaming me for preventing any contact - actually quite difficult to prove to the contrary which I had to do. 1 year later and £10,000 spent, I had won my case and got permission. I had to also agree to pay for my ex to come to Australia and visit the children every 2 years (but they never come as expected!)
As far as I know, if your ex is paying maintenance to the CSA, the CSA is part of govt and that is meant to balance out the payments/benefits you are subsequently receiving from the UK govt. If you are not resident in the UK, your ex is not obliged to pay the CSA.
If your ex was paying you maintenance through a Court Order, this can be upheld and continued when you leave the country for Australia. You may be able to initiate this option depending upon your divorce agreement etc. You may be able to explain the 2 options to your ex as no doubt if it goes legal that would be the advise offered.
I went through this 2 years ago and things change so I may be wrong so please get legal advice. Also, you may be better chatting via PM to people.
By the short intro, sounds like you will succeed but the law and ex's are unpredictable, expensive and time consuming - and stressful!
Good luck, stay focussed and be positive.
Good will always prevail.
Andrew
You are getting a lot of info here and some may be misinformation.
Adoption or not, I am sure your ex, as biological father, must agree to let you take the children out of the country.
Many of us have been in this situation. DebbieMC is the latest to have won the battle (well done!) and probably the most significant to talk to.
I was in a similar situation, no contact for many years but as soon as permission was sought, ex denied permission blaming me for preventing any contact - actually quite difficult to prove to the contrary which I had to do. 1 year later and £10,000 spent, I had won my case and got permission. I had to also agree to pay for my ex to come to Australia and visit the children every 2 years (but they never come as expected!)
As far as I know, if your ex is paying maintenance to the CSA, the CSA is part of govt and that is meant to balance out the payments/benefits you are subsequently receiving from the UK govt. If you are not resident in the UK, your ex is not obliged to pay the CSA.
If your ex was paying you maintenance through a Court Order, this can be upheld and continued when you leave the country for Australia. You may be able to initiate this option depending upon your divorce agreement etc. You may be able to explain the 2 options to your ex as no doubt if it goes legal that would be the advise offered.
I went through this 2 years ago and things change so I may be wrong so please get legal advice. Also, you may be better chatting via PM to people.
By the short intro, sounds like you will succeed but the law and ex's are unpredictable, expensive and time consuming - and stressful!
Good luck, stay focussed and be positive.
Good will always prevail.
Andrew
thanks andrew
Mar 13th 2006 | 1:03 pm
#22
Retired
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 34,646
Re: Children and ex
Originally Posted by andrew63
Lottie
You are getting a lot of info here and some may be misinformation.
Adoption or not, I am sure your ex, as biological father, must agree to let you take the children out of the country.
You are getting a lot of info here and some may be misinformation.
Adoption or not, I am sure your ex, as biological father, must agree to let you take the children out of the country.
Before anyone who has adopted kids panics at the sight of this, I would like to reiterate that if one has adopted children bona-fide in the UK, then the natural parents have *no* parental rights and there is no problem adding them to a skilled migration application like any other children you have (sponsoring for an adoption visa may be a different story, depends on circumstances).
As far as this particular situation is concerned, if there is an ex-spouse who was married and is the biological father of the children, then consent or a court order is almost certainly required.
There may be situations where consent/court orders are not required where a biological father never married the mother, or children are aged 16-17, but that doesn't appear to apply here.
A good family law solicitor is the *only* way to get reliable legal advice.
And at the same time, it's worth being sure one meets the skill requirements to migrate. No point in stressing over court orders to remove children from the UK if you don't have a chance to meet the migration requirement in the first place.
