cat's and dog's diary.
Jan 28th 2004, 10:32 pm
#1
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Oct 2003
Location: London
Posts: 126
cat's and dog's diary.
There seems to have been some comment about cats and dogs recently. I will let the below speak for itself....
EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY
Day number 180
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
1:00 pm OH BOY! THE GARDEN! MY FAVOURITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MUM! MY FAVOURITE!
Day number 181
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
1:00 pm OH BOY! THE GARDEN! MY FAVOURITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MUM! MY FAVOURITE!
Day number 182
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
1:00 pm OH BOY! THE GARDEN! MY FAVOURITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MUM! MY FAVOURITE!
EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY
DAY 752
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I
am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
DAY 761
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair...must try this on their bed.
DAY 765
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan.
DAY 768
I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid?! My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.
DAY 771
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odour of the
glass tubes they call "beer.." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
DAY 774
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured.
But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...
EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY
Day number 180
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
1:00 pm OH BOY! THE GARDEN! MY FAVOURITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MUM! MY FAVOURITE!
Day number 181
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
1:00 pm OH BOY! THE GARDEN! MY FAVOURITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MUM! MY FAVOURITE!
Day number 182
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
1:00 pm OH BOY! THE GARDEN! MY FAVOURITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MUM! MY FAVOURITE!
EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY
DAY 752
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I
am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
DAY 761
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair...must try this on their bed.
DAY 765
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan.
DAY 768
I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid?! My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.
DAY 771
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odour of the
glass tubes they call "beer.." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
DAY 774
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured.
But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...
Jan 28th 2004, 11:10 pm
#2
Forum Regular
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 137
Ha ha , very good!
An entertaining read.
An entertaining read.
Jan 29th 2004, 12:35 pm
#3
Dutch expat/Aus citizen
Joined: Apr 2003
Location: South East, Perth (was Holland)
Posts: 5,789
Jan 29th 2004, 12:40 pm
#4
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: Near Duloc
Posts: 4,638
LOL
Good on ya Koala Mac - must also add that your Bertie looks really gorgeous!!!!! What type of cat is he?
Good on ya Koala Mac - must also add that your Bertie looks really gorgeous!!!!! What type of cat is he?
Jan 29th 2004, 12:49 pm
#5
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Oct 2003
Location: London
Posts: 126
Hi Larissa
He's a chocolate Asian - which is, to all intents and purposes, a Burmese. So he's a big talker and a lifelong kitten - he's particularly keen on sitting in the bath and yowling at the wall. Maybe he likes the echo?!
K_M
He's a chocolate Asian - which is, to all intents and purposes, a Burmese. So he's a big talker and a lifelong kitten - he's particularly keen on sitting in the bath and yowling at the wall. Maybe he likes the echo?!
K_M
Jan 29th 2004, 12:50 pm
#6
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: Near Duloc
Posts: 4,638
Originally posted by koala_mac
Hi Larissa
He's a chocolate Asian - which is, to all intents and purposes, a Burmese. So he's a big talker and a lifelong kitten - he's particularly keen on sitting in the bath and yowling at the wall. Maybe he likes the echo?!
K_M
Hi Larissa
He's a chocolate Asian - which is, to all intents and purposes, a Burmese. So he's a big talker and a lifelong kitten - he's particularly keen on sitting in the bath and yowling at the wall. Maybe he likes the echo?!
K_M
Jan 29th 2004, 12:52 pm
#7
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Oct 2003
Location: London
Posts: 126
LOL! I'm not sure he'd cope with the sea breezes and all that sailing down your way
Jan 29th 2004, 1:00 pm
#8
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: Near Duloc
Posts: 4,638
Originally posted by koala_mac
LOL! I'm not sure he'd cope with the sea breezes and all that sailing down your way
LOL! I'm not sure he'd cope with the sea breezes and all that sailing down your way
I have got a nice sunshiney garden though, but he probably wouldn't last long if sprog got his hands on him - my cat Sid is very patient and bundle tolerant!
Jan 29th 2004, 1:09 pm
#9
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Oct 2003
Location: London
Posts: 126
Originally posted by Larissa
What sea? Oh - you mean that briney thing beyond the housing estate? ! LOL
I have got a nice sunshiney garden though, but he probably wouldn't last long if sprog got his hands on him - my cat Sid is very patient and bundle tolerant!
What sea? Oh - you mean that briney thing beyond the housing estate? ! LOL
I have got a nice sunshiney garden though, but he probably wouldn't last long if sprog got his hands on him - my cat Sid is very patient and bundle tolerant!
My cats have only seen kids once. They scarpered under the bed and didn't reappear for hours, much to the mites' disappointment.
Good for Sid - is he any particular breed?
Jan 29th 2004, 1:21 pm
#10
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: Near Duloc
Posts: 4,638
Originally posted by koala_mac
He he
My cats have only seen kids once. They scarpered under the bed and didn't reappear for hours, much to the mites' disappointment.
Good for Sid - is he any particular breed?
He he
My cats have only seen kids once. They scarpered under the bed and didn't reappear for hours, much to the mites' disappointment.
Good for Sid - is he any particular breed?
