Bye Bye
 

Well we have to get up in about 4 hours to catch our one way flight to Sydney.
I should be asleep, having said goodbye to dad 3 hours ago I still can't get to sleep :(
I hope by the time we fly tomorrow I feel alot less upset than I do now, I can cope with alot I just can't cope with goodbyes especially having to say it to my dad :(, feel like i've been hit in the heart with a bloody great truck.

Someone please tell me it gets easier than is?????????????????

Jen

Re: Bye Bye
 

OMG:ohmy::ohmy: thats come round quick!!

Awww hun Im sure you'll feel better once you'vegot on that plane and taken a big deep breath. Have a great flight and let us know how you've got on.Ooooo im so excited for yas :thumbsup:

Re: Bye Bye
 

That was super quick :(
Sending some hugs (((( :) ))))) and k to help you through.
Wishing you a safe journey to the other side.
I'm sure it will all be worth it when you get there.
Take care,
J x

Re: Bye Bye
 

We're here and still intact lol

Staying in a gorgeous holiday rental I would highly recommend to anyone as they gave us such a huge welcome and have been fantastically helpful.

The flight wasn't great, had some poor gentleman near us with oxygen mask on and all, quite poorly poor thing, most of the way from Heathrow to Singapore. Our flight was delayed by what we thought was the most disorganised family we'd ever seen, :frown: well they turned out to be The Osmonds :rofl: Donny was there too and entourage all in Economy - oh dear what is the world coming to. Sorry Donny fans but I was pleased when they all got off at Singapore and went on a flight to Perth !
Then my eldest was ill for 3 hours from Singapore that was nice, I chose to sit with him as I didn't want to sit with our youngest and I ended up having to clear up sick 3 times !

There was a really lovely lady with her family that helped us on the plane with our cases and came over when my son was being sick, bless her.


We all slept well at our fantastic holiday rental last night.... been out to do a bit of shopping today, went and looked in realestate agents at rentals and had a drive round to see if we could find any we liked. Went to see if the car we liked was still for sale and have put a deposit down on it, hopefully they will receive full payment by Friday and i'll have it by the weekend.
Think we'll need to find hubby something too though.

It's been a wash out, not literally, although I'm still missing my dad like crazy, I mean the weather, FLOODING !!!!!!!!!!!!!
We've been told by about 10 Aussies today we brought the rain with us, they seem quite happy as apparently it's much needed but it's not much fun when you realise that the removals packed your waterproof coats ! :rofl:

Lets hope we get some sunshine soon eh.

Anyway better sign off for now.... lots to do and the older two boys need to go to bed.

Jenxx

Re: Bye Bye
 

Hi there Jen

Sounds like you've been quite full on and busy with the whole process- I can only imagine how much fun it wasn't on the plane, with a sick child (been there myself!)- glad to hear you're settled and things are looking up :)

Re: Bye Bye
 

they aren't looking up, i'm exhausted, not really slept for the last week, the kids are fed up i'm fed up I feel really ill and sick through lack of sleep.
i've had enough of looking at rentals and it's not got us anywhere, picked up my car yesterday after having bought it last week, but I dont know who to ring for car insurance if I could actually get a signal on my mobile here, and only got 3rd part and i'm not happy driving it round with just that on it.
I miss my family and my friends, my home, I even miss bloody Tesco.
If this isnt going to get better quickly I think hubby will find himself out here on his own, he seems to be only one enjoying it.

Re: Bye Bye
 

your just tired mate, things will get better........tiredness makes you feel like shit....take time out to get your head down and chill out. Nip into Aaimi and get car insurance you dont need to fone them.

Take it easy.....its very early days yet and everything is alien

Re: Bye Bye
 

Oh Jen that's no good!
I recall only too well what sleep deprivation is like- when we moved to NZ 10yrs ago with a 1 and 3yr old it took a good couple of weeks to get "settled" into new sleep patterns, and that was nowhere near as far as you've come!
Give yourself a break, if you can, and believe me when I tell you it will get better. Is there anyone who can mind the kids for you here whilst you get some R and R time at all?

Re: rentals. What area are you now looking in and what's your budget and criteria? Let me know and I may be able to help you here, depending on area.

Re: car insurance. Try NRMA as they're usually reasonable and on par with other insurance companies. Also get a quote from AAMI. Both big companies with good track records, as not all insurance companies are the same.
NRMA: 132 132 AAMI: 13 22 44

Re: mobile reception. This varies, depending on which company you're with and where you are. Ask your provider (Optus? Telstra? Vodafone?) why the reception is so low. They should be able to assist.

Chin up and remember that things can only get better- at least it's not raining today!! :)

Re: Bye Bye
 

Wish I could take time out.
We don't have anyone who could take the kids for us for a bit, we barely know anyone in Sydney.
They're driving me mad, been off school now for 3 weeks :(
They're bored fed up and I can't blame them, having been nearly sick this morning and having come close to struggling to drive yesterday from the tiredness we're stuck at the holiday place today, in the hopes the morning doesn't drag too much and I can put little one down for a sleep.

2 of the kids talk about my dad, mum and hubby's parents all the time, and little one asks to see them all the time.
Little one has even started to say he wants to go home, I don't say anything in front of them other than mummy is tired and doesn't feel well, as I don't want to influence how they feel.

We've looked at Castle Hill, Kellyville, Dural, Carlingford, all the surrounding areas, as well as south, Sutherland, Sandy point, Illawong etc.

People keep telling me it's early days, but I haven't never felt worse in my whole life. I just really want to go home. :(

Re: Bye Bye
 

Keep your chin up, it will get better once you decide where you want to base yourself and get the children into school. The weather is probably not helping at the moment either.

My daughter should have well and truly arrived by now and I am sat here waiting for her to get down to Nowra and on the internet as we all arranged before she flew off to Sydney. She will be visiting Sydney fairly regularly I would imagine so if you need someone in similar situation and a shoulder to cry on I'm sure she'll be there for you. (Homewardbound - PM her if you want and once she has sorted herself out I am sure she will look forward to meeting up with you).

Best wishes

Re: Bye Bye
 

Oh Jen, I promise it does get better.

Don't underestimate the effect jet lag has - it can take about a fortnight to fully recover from it, and as biggy says, when you're tired, everything is a big deal. We only shifted two hours but, what with all the excitement of the move, I still felt dizzy for a week or so.

It is a HUGE thing you've just done and, no, the shite weather will not help! (Coming from Asia, I seem to be in hibernation mode and some days I don't even go out. I fight the cats for their heatpads ;) ) We've been here six weeks now and are still getting sorted, but you'll see - things will gradually fall into place.

Can you organise your days so that you do some chores (e.g., househunting) in the mornings, and have some fun with the kids in the afternoons? Use public transport to give yourself a rest, and show them what an exciting place Sydney is.

We don't have kids but we're quite child-friendly (The Geek relates at their level!) so if you're feeling lost and fancy catching up over the weekend, get in touch.

Re: Bye Bye
 

All sounds pretty normal to me, for someone in your situation, Jen.
When do the kids start school?
I can help you with info on rentals in the first 4 suburbs you've mentioned but will need more criteria and your budget- let me know and I'll give you some tips and contacts.

The rain doesn't help, I know, but when it stops there's plenty of places to take the kids (even indoors- try somewhere like Lollipops Playland at Castle Hill- they'll love it!) and you will begin to revitalize.

Perhaps think about joining the group of parents and kids who meet at Castle Hill RSL on a regular basis- great place to start and meet others who've done this all before you- do a search and you should be able to find the thread. I think they meet monthly?

Re: Bye Bye
 

Jen those 'lost' feelings the first few days/weeks of arriving are so hard. It is as though you are only just treading water and never will you feel so fragile and vulnerable as you do now.

Gobbyjock said to me that it gets better once you get the key to your own front door and it is so true.

Once you get a house, the rest follows in its own merry way.

As for the jetlag, the jetlag I felt flying to Perth had to be the worst I have suffered, even worse than flying to Brisbane. I don't know why as the time difference isnt as bad but it made me feel so ill I could have been sick and it lasted a couple of weeks - longer if I remember.

Write down a list of what you need to do and tackle it one by one. One thing at a time and one day at a time.

The key to jetlag is to listen to what your body tells you. Eat well, sleep well and do not over do it.

Find a house and that is one thing off your list. Your kids are feeling as lost in their own way as you are - you all are.

You have to be kind to yourself and dont underestimate the enormity of what you have done.

It really does get easier I promise it does but just take a step back and realise just why you feel so bad at the moment.

Little steps and all that. ;)

Re: Bye Bye
 

Thank you.

I just don't know how anyone can cope with feeling like this for any length of time, the last week and a half has dragged and been some sort of horrible emotional and physical rollercoaster :(.
I've obviously never suffered jetlag before and if this is it I never want to suffer it again, anything vaguely comfy and I sleep in the day but give me a comfy bed at night and I can't sleep, my head is probably wanting to be awake when my family and friends are thats all I can think it is.
I'm covered in bruises as since last Sunday when the tiredness kicked in i've been more than clumsy, still have some beauty bruises from fighting with the suitcases after landing in Sydney, I keep walking into things. If anyone saw me first thing in the morning they'd probably think someone had beaten me up.
I'm running on zero energy, and have dozed most of the day, been sick, dozed some more, poor kids I feel awful, i've tried to take them out, they enjoyed the Castle Hill RSL Tuesday, the ppl were nice I just found it overwhelming and exhausting.
Breathing and walking seem to be exhausting too. If I sit on the sofa i'm a gonna,dozing in minutes and when hubby's here he's the same.

It's been quite a nice day but I feel so out of control of myself we've wasted it, it would have been a great day to take kids out, I should of done shopping too but hubby is now having to do it after he's been at work all day :o
I don't know where to put myself, but I would like to put myself on a plane home.
Just had DS2 saying can we go home as he doesn't like it here and misses his friends and all the family.

Meeting up would be nice if anyone can stomach it, as I seem to get worse rather than better I can't promise a comprehensible conversation though :( :o

Re: Bye Bye
 

Im sure its probably tiredness mixed with jet lag mixed with the upheavel thats making you feel like this. I can only imagine how you feel as we are a long way off getting to Oz. I really hope it works out for you ad im sure like others have said once you have your own house and are in a routine things will start to look up and you will know why you went through the whole process. Im sure it will take time for you all to settle and maybe once your children are at school things will start to level out. Keep us updated. Sending a (((((hug))))).xx:thumbsup:

Re: Bye Bye
 

JenJen;

Its Arthur here from Melbourne, now girl get yourself to the doctors your emotionally & physically burn out.

I would get the kids into school its as simple as that they will make friends right away, if the kids are happy the parents are then must more relazed, when your a little better get out the house say hello to the neighbours tell them your new here most will talk to you right away, thats the way to make immediate friends it wont take long to make new friends, when you all get invited for a barbie accept then your on your way.

Dont sit round the house it will make things worse, you have done the hard part now so chin up and keep a smile of that face.

Arthur

Re: Bye Bye
 

Good reply :thumbsup:

Re: Bye Bye
 

Hi Jen,

I'd forgotten how hard it is during the first few weeks in Oz. We went through the same miserable process of house hunting and settling into unfamiliar areas etc - it DOES get better. You've arrived at the worst time of year - rotten weather and the winter doldrums.

If it's any help we have two boys 10 and 9 and if you're boys want to meet up for a game of footie or to play Playstation this weekend send us a message. We're in the inner west, about 15 mins from Central by train.

cheers

Michael from Leeds
www.sydneyphoto.blogspot.com

Re: Bye Bye
 

Hey Jen :wub:, Im so glad to hear you finally made it after everything, but not so glad to hear your having such a tough time, youve been given good advice by everyone, and I dont have much else to add other than Im thinking of you and I hope things improve. It is early days and please dont be so hard on yourself, give yourself some time to adjust. In the meet up section there is a meet in Castle hill for people and kiddies, maybe you could head along to that??
Is there any way you can have some time to yourself for a few hours to clear your head?
I'll hopefully be back in Sydney in a few months and we could meet up then if you want? go horseriding !! You'll get through this - you are just overwhelmed by everything right now. It will get better, and once you are no longer so sleep deprived you will be able to cope with it easier.

Re: Bye Bye
 

So nice to hear from you Arthur, i've missed our chats.

We've been told we have got the rental at Illawong, we have to go and sort through paperwork this afternoon at the agents.
I am burnt out, I have tried various things but i'm still dopey in the day and struggling not to sleep and then I have a few tears before bedtime (as well as a few through the day), then I go to bed, get to sleep fairly quickly although not compared to when I was asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow back home.
But from 3 am every morning I am wide awake and cannot go back to sleep, this is making the days very very long and I get to now and I feel yuch.

I spoke to my dad for the first time this mornign since we left home and it was lovely to chat to him, but felt a bit sad when he said he had to head for bed :(. I think he will come out for my birthday in August as he said it will give me something to look forward to, I can't wait to see him again just wishing I was seeing him in the Uk.

It's hard to adjust here when every day is just so difficult, I never went into this wanting to fail but the only thing that really keeps me going is the thought of getting on a plane and going home and begging everyone for forgiveness.
Thanks Penky it's been a while

Re: Bye Bye
 

Its impossible to imagine before you land, just how hard and stessful the first few months are for many people. Try and take it one day at a time, set a small goal each day and achieve it then move on to the next thing.

Being alone in a new city with 3 small kids and no family back up is very hard for anyone, if you were close to family in the UK your trying to deal with those emotions too. Would knock the stuffing out of anyone.

Can remember dragging 3 kids round looking for rentals when we first arrived in melb and it was a grey drab wet winter, nothing like the fab new life I had imagined :eek: partner had work, he had family and was fine the rest of us felt like aliens:D

Then we moved to qld and went house hunting, weeks of being stuck in a car, in and out of dozens of houses, in what seemed like 100 degree heat, can remember 2 kids crying, me crying, teenager making threats of going back to UK, oh joy :rofl:

You get there tho :thumbup:

Re: Bye Bye
 

You get there ...... home????

Just out of curisoity has anyone tried to split time between the UK and Australia before? how long can you go back for before coming back out again?

I love Melbourne :(
I'm trying very hard to take it a day at a time, honest. I have friends in Melbourne and feel that would make life easier if we were much closer to them, I'm sitting here looking out to a distant view of the blue moutains which is ok and at least it's not raining...... thats about as positive as I can muster, I think our hosts are little fed up of me looking so glum, they don't come through unless hubby is here :(

Re: Bye Bye
 

You get there, I mean you get more settled:), your supposed to think of aus as home ;) now.


Think if you have PR, you can come and go as much as you want. Price of airfares for a family 5 would be between 13 and 15 grand now :eek: that tapers the reality a little :eek:

Staying with friends/family on arrival is always hard, we stayed with his family, no humour, snobs, hated kids... moved to rental ASAP :blink: that was a improvement to say the least!!

Re: Bye Bye
 

Hi Jenjen

Sorry to read of your hard time. You can swap places with me if you like;) tho' I'm not sure you'd want to trade your 3 boys for my 2 smelly, grumpy dogs:D I am in Melbourne but all my family are in Sydney.

Like you with Melbourne I have more of a "relationship" with Sydney having been born in Blue Mountains and lived in Manly for first 4 years of my life, been back several times, got married there blah blah. I am still finding Melly rather hard going and I've been here 5 months now but I remember the 1st few weeks were the worst when OH was working and I was stuck on my own in a holiday cabin miles out.

It's only very early days for you so just try to stay as calm as possible. Remember nothing is forever and you wont always be in the situation which is currently making you feel so bad!

Take care
Jools x

Re: Bye Bye
 

Swap - tis a done deal, don't care what hubby says.

I would trade 3 children for 2 smelly dogs actually, be a bit more relaxing i'm sure, I prefer the company of pets and i'm missing my cat badly too, she is very wise and would be by my side all the time when i've been upset, animals are often quite good like that, unlike children who when you're stressed and upset just want to play you up even more.

I keep telling myself if I still hate it in a few months i'll go home with hubby or not, trouble is it's his insistants that we're staying long term that makes me feel so much worse,.

Sorry you're finding it hard too, I hate to think anyone else feels like this, it's even worse than when I was ill for 10 months after DS2 was born, and of course it's only been a week and a half.
How do you get through each day ? Will you be working ?

Re: Bye Bye
 

Ahhh-I agree it's bad psychology for hubby to tell you "this is it". Even if he secretly feels he does want you all to stay forever some comforting words are what's needed. Chances are you could grow to love it there but you need to feel some connection with home still right now and when we are told we can never go back it certainly doesn't help.

I have applied for a number of jobs and sent CV to big recruitment agencies but to no avail-no-one even bother replying:unsure:. Trouble is as we are quite a way out (due to financial reasons & last years property boom) it limits where I can work. So I have gone from a working London wife with lots to say to a stay at home in the 'burbs wifey with nothing to report-aaaargh! The excitement of my day is a dog walk around the back streets. Still my cooking is improving!

Luckily hubby has agreed if nothing improves we will go home in a year as Aus isn't really giving him what he came for either-he has had to return to the career & long hours he thought he'd left behind for money reasons. But, we may love it in a year who knows and so might you!

BTW my dogs just run into the other room to avoid me if I'm upset-but that's probably because they're male!:sneaky:

Re: Bye Bye
 

ahh yes male dogs...... male of any species tends to be the same, hubby just puts his tail between his legs and was that desperate to get away from my tears that last night he went out into the dark and stood outside like a muppet, he said he was on the phone to someone but whatever....

If I could get a cast iron guaruntee from my hubby we'd go home in a few months or a year I would feel so much happier, but he's like Jeckyll and hyde one minute he says one thing then even an hour later he can contradict himself.......
Not a great place to be obviously when your hubby is being such a man, yours sounds a bit more supportive.
I can't imagine how you feel, in a way I do have the kids to distract me but then again thats not always a help, maybe a female dog would have been more sympathetic ?!!!!!!
Sometimes I just want to be on my own instead of having little man saying mummy mummy mummy mummy mummy mummy mummy ever 5 minutes.
I do like it when he goes to bed I can hear myself think then.

My dad is super supportive think they broke the mold when they made my dad as I couldn't ask for better, that makes it harder as when hubby is being well his usual self I can't chat to dad when I want or need to anymore :(

Re: Bye Bye
 

Hi Jen,
It does get easier, honest.
Now you have the rental sorted get round the local schools and register your kids they need some normallity too. Theyl make friends and most importantly have something to talk to you about not whinge at you, and theyl be tired so they can get off to bed, you and your hubby need to chat, negotiate a year or 2 year point where you can sit and down and evaluate your move over/lifestlye etc.
Go to your local library, get some books etc, take some chill time, dont worry about rushing round etc, nothing is going anywhere. Find a cafe with the beautiful sights that you came here for and savour them on your own.

Weve settled extremely well but that doesnt mean to say itl always feel so good, so im prepared.
My mums been my best friend all my life - i certainly cant go find another one like her...she says booking her holiday over her is what kept her strong when we left her. Keep in as much touch as poss with your dad, even postcards, cos you know theyl make him smile when he receives them.

Keep your chin up, ride the storms etc, just think forwards to when the weather improves and just how much you can do with the kids then. xxx

Re: Bye Bye
 

Most guys just don't react in the same way as us women do when someone's upset-they cant help it-it's just not really in their make up & one of the many reason why female friends are such a life saver. Sounds like you & your father have a really strong bond which makes it harder starting a new life 12000 miles away but he is still there thinking of you and I'm sure if you needed to call him at an 'odd' time he wouldn't mind.

Your husband loves you and of course wouldn't want you to live a miserable life somewhere you dislike. I guess he is just hoping it is early days & what you are feeling is run of the mill homesickness and post-emigration stress which will pass and it may well be & may well do. I sincerely hope so:)

Have the 2 of you had time to sit down and have a sensible, non-emotional (as much as possible!) conversation about how you feel? Hard tho' it can be to keep the tears in when you feel this low I find my OH always responds far better on the odd occasion I am a bit more practical in my reasons rather than hysterical!

Remember no-one can force you to stay anywhere-you are your own person but do try and give it a bit longer before making any big decisions. What smaller changes could you make now to improve things here?

Re: Bye Bye
 

We looked at a school the boys could go to today, it was ok...
We also found a nice day care place for little man, the first 2 weren't helpful so we went 10 minutes out from where we'll be staying and that seems nice too, he likes it anyway , he didn't want to leave, bear in mind he's been bored, few toys to play with and happy old me, I couldn't blame him for not wanting to leave.

Although a positive step it hasn't changed my mind about anything, I still don't feel warm to Sydney as a place.

Re: Bye Bye
 

No probs and Im sorry its been so long :)


Hey , thats good though that you are getting stuff done, try and find the positive in any situation you can, Sydney may not be for you, but after all the stress you went through to get there , you gotta give it your best shot. Sending hugs xxx

Re: Bye Bye
 

Hi Jen-good to hear your little guy like the day care place.

I was looking at your post about the areas you have been looking for a rental. I notice they are all quite far out from the centre around 30km which is a bit like me in Melbourne-we are in a 'burb 32km out. I have no experience on the areas you've been looking at but I think that in Oz some of these further out 'burbs can be rather dull & characterless and not conducive to making one feel "at home" or like we are "living the dream" we came so far for. Are you living where you are specifically for hubby's job?

Can you live a bit further in or if not then how about one of the Northern beach areas such as Newport or Bilgola-although they are still around 30km out they are rather nice (I have family there and have always enjoyed staying with them in these areas over the years).

Try to have a pleasant day-oh, and congratulations!:)

Re: Bye Bye
 

Hubby works in Auburn/ Lidcombe area.
We have looked at being closer to Sydney itself but it's too expensive when you're looking at a 4 bedroom house that doesn't look like it's falling apart and the nice ones in price range are almost extinct, apartments though nice wouldn't suit us with the kids. So we were looking at those areas and surrounding areas to those as they were more affordable and more the type of home we felt we could live in.

Hubby's dream to live here and he's the fussy one, hence why although we have a car we now own and a hire car, we don't have a second car cause he 'can't find one he likes enough' just to run back and forwards to work so as of Sunday next week I will probably be back to running him about again if I want the car to use in the day, plus his days as of tomorrow start at 6am so i'd have to have all the kids up at 4 am and then i'd be picking him up at 6 pm and getting stuck in the delightful traffic queues that made the journey back nearly 2 hours so the kids wouldn't be going to bed til nearly 8 pm.... either that or we just don't go out anywhere as where we are there is no where to go in walking distance, so will be life til we move into the rental on the 7th July then at least the shops will be in walking distance !!

It actually feels like i'm living some sort of nightmare right now or one of those rollercoasters that look fantastic but when you get on within seconds you're desperate to get off again.

Anyway bday boy is feelign a bit on the poorly side si i'd better go and check on him :unsure:

Re: Bye Bye
 

I think I would be sitting hubby down and explaining getting 3 and a bit :) kids up every day to drive him to work is mental :eek: for want of a better word. Living further in as you have discovered is mega expensive, a second car for most people in that situation is essential, or he looks at public transport.

Get him a bus timetable:D

Congrats by the way, look after youself and bub.

Re: Bye Bye
 

Jen,

Totally agree with this, and have to say that I think the biggest kid you have is your hubby!

If he's so fussy that he has to have a car that 'he likes enough' let him find one, while you drive the one he is already happy with. I think that if he is happy with his job and where he is right now that you have to start to think about what would make you and your three children happy.

I think you need to stand up for yourself, (big time)!

M

Re: Bye Bye
 

We've got one nice family car for my wife, and piece of turd which I use to get to work.

It's not a case of keeping up with the Jones here so tell your hubby to wind his neck in, get any car that runs (and legal) for now and get to work by himself!

Therefore, you and kids can stay in bed and get some of that most desparately needed sleep you need!:wub:

Re: Bye Bye
 

I'm not sure I want to tell him that but I have returned to the car or gone to bed early and left him to it and he knows i'm not impressed but then we are just exchanging unimpressed looks and stances right now.

Jen

Re: Bye Bye
 

In the UK my hub went thru a number of flashy vehicles over the years including BMW, Merc, new mini and most recently Jeep. In Aus he drives.....a basic Holden Barina tada!!

There really is no need to worry here-no-one else does

Re: Bye Bye
 

:confused:

I have never seen so many flash expensive cars as I do around central Brisbane.

Including the one on my driveway:thumbup:

G

Re: Bye Bye
 

It's all utes here down Melbourne's Nepean highway or 15 year old beige Japanese cars:D