BundyMum Update
Nov 8th 2005, 8:58 pm
#16
Home and Happy
Joined: Dec 2002
Location: Keep true friends and puppets close, trust no-one else...
Posts: 93,814
Re: BundyMum Update
Hi Bundy love,
You're in our thoughts and prayers.
It does put a lot of things into perspective - especially having just got back from visiting the family in the UK. thinking of you made me appreciate the time I spent with them even more.
You're in our thoughts and prayers.
It does put a lot of things into perspective - especially having just got back from visiting the family in the UK. thinking of you made me appreciate the time I spent with them even more.
Nov 8th 2005, 9:10 pm
#17
She's a bird, you know
Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2003
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 7,655
Re: BundyMum Update
Originally Posted by Pollyana
Hi Bundy love,
You're in our thoughts and prayers.
It does put a lot of things into perspective - especially having just got back from visiting the family in the UK. thinking of you made me appreciate the time I spent with them even more.
You're in our thoughts and prayers.
It does put a lot of things into perspective - especially having just got back from visiting the family in the UK. thinking of you made me appreciate the time I spent with them even more.
Nov 8th 2005, 9:14 pm
#18
She's a bird, you know
Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2003
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 7,655
Re: BundyMum Update
BTW, my mum made it to one of her targets - my parents' 35th wedding anniversary two weeks ago. Photo attached.
Nov 8th 2005, 9:32 pm
#19
Where I want to be
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: In my own head
Posts: 3,220
Re: BundyMum Update
Originally Posted by bundy
BTW, my mum made it to one of her targets - my parents' 35th wedding anniversary two weeks ago. Photo attached.
Nice to see you on here again, sorry that things aren't too good with your mum, but I hope she will continue to stick two fingers up to "The Big C" for a lot longer. The woman is inspiring!! Don't forget to take a little time for yourself, you need to keep strong too.
Shirley
Nov 8th 2005, 9:33 pm
#20
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Aug 2004
Location: in a place near the river and the sea where the sun always shines
Posts: 3,155
Re: BundyMum Update
Originally Posted by bundy
BTW, my mum made it to one of her targets - my parents' 35th wedding anniversary two weeks ago. Photo attached.
excellent x
Nov 8th 2005, 9:34 pm
#21
Suzy's Mummy too!
Joined: Aug 2004
Location: Gold Coast!
Posts: 4,231
Re: BundyMum Update
All our thoughts are with you hun!
Big hugz
Claire, Steve, Jonah & Baby Suzy.
xxx
Big hugz
Claire, Steve, Jonah & Baby Suzy.
xxx
Nov 8th 2005, 9:36 pm
#22
She's a bird, you know
Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2003
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 7,655
Re: BundyMum Update
Originally Posted by debbiemc
excellent x
Nov 8th 2005, 9:52 pm
#23
Forum Regular
Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Hillarys, Perth
Posts: 283
Re: BundyMum Update
Originally Posted by bundy
Yep, I've always said, read this and then go call your mums if you're lucky enough to have them, or hold those dear to you close because you never know how long you have with those you love.
Oh Bundy, I really feel for you all especially your mum. I sincerely hope with all of my heart she gets to see her grandchild... be strong ,look after yourself and much love to you all.
Becky xx
Nov 8th 2005, 9:56 pm
#24
She's a bird, you know
Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2003
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 7,655
Re: BundyMum Update
Originally Posted by bex 66
Oh Bundy, I really feel for you all especially your mum. I sincerely hope with all of my heart she gets to see her grandchild... be strong ,look after yourself and much love to you all.
Becky xx
Becky xx
Nov 8th 2005, 10:17 pm
#25
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 975
Re: BundyMum Update
Gosh what a moving post, it has taken me 5 mins to compose and reply.
What an amazing person you are to be able to write all that down for people.
You and your family sound like an amazing bunch of people and I wish you all the strength in the world to see you through whatever you come up against in the future.
Your post has put my minor troubles into prospective and I will certainly look for an uptdate.
Take Care
Sharon
x
What an amazing person you are to be able to write all that down for people.
You and your family sound like an amazing bunch of people and I wish you all the strength in the world to see you through whatever you come up against in the future.
Your post has put my minor troubles into prospective and I will certainly look for an uptdate.
Take Care
Sharon
x
Originally Posted by bundy
Hello people,
Yes, I know, I've been away for ages. Been a busy bee with loads going on, a lot of it revolving around BundyMum. Since a few (kind and thoughtful) people have asked, here is the latest on BM. It's long, so get comfortable.
The last few months have not been good. BM was doing really well during the summer - my parents came over in August, mum looked well, was moving about without sticks and so on, and there was much fighting talk. We ticked along like that for another month or so with BM continuing to make great progress. Then smack, another brick wall.
I got a phonecall from my dad in a very distressed state saying that BM seemed to be getting very ill very quickly. Needless to say, I got the next flight down to Jersey to see what was going on. Mum wasn't looking great and was sleeping a lot when I first arrived. Over the days that followed she went downhill very rapidly - unable to speak or move, confused, making no sense, loss of control of her limbs (and worse) - basically she was acting as though she had had a stroke, though we knew she hadn't. We cared for her as best we could at home but it was soon apparent that my dad and I couldn't really cope because she was so ill, so she was transferred to the hospice. Still nobody could tell us what was wrong. The day she went in was awful - she was terribly distressed, saying that she was dying and scared. She asked to go to a local craft fair because she wanted to buy something for her grandchild-to-be (sister in law is pregnant), a grandchild she is unlikely to see. The three of us trailed round in tears. Horrible day.
By Saturday BM was pretty much unconscious with facial drooping and jerking limbs, totally incoherent. The doctors came and went and she continued to worsen. On Sunday the hospice chaplain came and gave us all communion which was awful and had us all in tears (too like a funeral for me). By Sunday night the doctors had diagnosed severe intercranial pressure, all relatives were called and told to get out to Jersey pronto, and BM was admitted to hospital with a lot of head-shaking and worried looks.
On the Monday morning the situation was critical - I was at home and got a call from the hospital saying to get in immediately, the assumption being that I wouldn't make it in time (my parents live just 15 minutes from the hospital). I've never driven so fast in my life - not the best time to find yourself on an island where the maximum speed limit is 40mph!
By the time I got in, BM was unconscious and being pumped full of everything. We were told to prepare for the worst as they assessed her (CT scans, MRI scans, x-rays, blood tests, you name it). And then came the diagnosis - hypercalcemia. Basically, calcium poisoning. Because mum's cancer spread to her bones, calcium has been leaching out into her blood and it was slowly poisioning her. It can be fatal, stopping the heart. And it causes all the symptoms she was having, including the severe depression which had descended. So they pumped her full of fluids (4 litres on the first night!) and lots of drugs.
Meanwhile, the family descended en masse and we took over the miserable Medical Admissions Unit where mum had ended up with all the overdoses, car accidents etc. Anyway, with all the treatment she staged a near-miraculous recovery and was in hospital for just short of a week. My dad had a minor op on his back so I switched being my mum's nurse to being my dad's, changing dressings etc. Nice.
On release BM went back to the hospice to recuperate but again took a turn for the worse. Endless blood transfusions and drips were hooked up but she was still very ill and the powers that be were running out of ideas. We managed to get her stable, just about, the family all went home and after a few days I had to make the tough decision to go home - work were making it very difficult for me and I wasn't being paid. I missed my boyfriend and was getting very tired and stressed. It felt selfish, but I had to go back for a few days at least. My dad sobbed at the airport, begged me not to go - bit of a nightmare to be honest.
Anyway, things were ok for a while and then mum got worse again and ended up back in hospital once more although not in so serious a state. Yet more tests and this time it was the calcium causing the problem. The docs were scratching their heads when they finally hit upon something I've been saying to them for months - mum's thyroid is underactive, just like mine. So, the changed the treatment again.
The consultant came over from Southampton to assess BM and told us that the cancer is continuing to spread, but slowly. He decided upon another form of chemo, pill-based and much less harsh than the last intravenous lot. Mum was uncertain as to whether to bother because she's tired and ill and fed up. But she wants to make a decent stab at sticking around for Baby Bundy so she's giving it a go.
She finally came home on Friday. Home Nursing delivered a new electric bed, and my dad converted a room downstairs. She's ok. For now, at least.
This has been the hardest time - not because of mum being so ill, or because of the time in hospital - but because, for the first time, she wasn't my mum. She couldn't talk, couldn't make any sense, acted like a child, needed feeding, changing, holding as she cried because she didn't understand what was happening. In all the serious times before, she's still be able to talk to us, still talked fighting talk and we lost that for a while. Thankfully it's back, for now, but it's shaken us all, and I found this latest episode the hardest to deal with this time. It's seen me finally bowing to the medical profession and allowing myself to be signed off sick for a couple of weeks because, in my GPs words, I'm 'knackered'. I finding it hard going and I've not quite got the chin back up yet. I even cried watching Emmerdale the other day - that's how bad it's got! I'm on constant alert to go out there, but I need to put in some time at work first (they're not impressed at my latest absence on grounds of 'nervous stress') so I've arranged for a variety of friends and relations to visit. And I'll be going out at Christmas, again expecting it to be our last together. Mum isn't expected to make it much past the New Year, but then we've heard all that before so who knows.
So that's where we are at the moment. Still in limbo, still battling the unknown, still straining against timescales we have no hope of guessing. It's hard going, but we keep going. In the immortal words of my darling younger brother, "it's a mother*****er this cancer business - literally". I know it's crass, but that made us all laugh (BM most of all).
Sorry this has been so long but a lot has happened and I know some of you want to know about it, so here it is.
Yes, I know, I've been away for ages. Been a busy bee with loads going on, a lot of it revolving around BundyMum. Since a few (kind and thoughtful) people have asked, here is the latest on BM. It's long, so get comfortable.
The last few months have not been good. BM was doing really well during the summer - my parents came over in August, mum looked well, was moving about without sticks and so on, and there was much fighting talk. We ticked along like that for another month or so with BM continuing to make great progress. Then smack, another brick wall.
I got a phonecall from my dad in a very distressed state saying that BM seemed to be getting very ill very quickly. Needless to say, I got the next flight down to Jersey to see what was going on. Mum wasn't looking great and was sleeping a lot when I first arrived. Over the days that followed she went downhill very rapidly - unable to speak or move, confused, making no sense, loss of control of her limbs (and worse) - basically she was acting as though she had had a stroke, though we knew she hadn't. We cared for her as best we could at home but it was soon apparent that my dad and I couldn't really cope because she was so ill, so she was transferred to the hospice. Still nobody could tell us what was wrong. The day she went in was awful - she was terribly distressed, saying that she was dying and scared. She asked to go to a local craft fair because she wanted to buy something for her grandchild-to-be (sister in law is pregnant), a grandchild she is unlikely to see. The three of us trailed round in tears. Horrible day.
By Saturday BM was pretty much unconscious with facial drooping and jerking limbs, totally incoherent. The doctors came and went and she continued to worsen. On Sunday the hospice chaplain came and gave us all communion which was awful and had us all in tears (too like a funeral for me). By Sunday night the doctors had diagnosed severe intercranial pressure, all relatives were called and told to get out to Jersey pronto, and BM was admitted to hospital with a lot of head-shaking and worried looks.
On the Monday morning the situation was critical - I was at home and got a call from the hospital saying to get in immediately, the assumption being that I wouldn't make it in time (my parents live just 15 minutes from the hospital). I've never driven so fast in my life - not the best time to find yourself on an island where the maximum speed limit is 40mph!
By the time I got in, BM was unconscious and being pumped full of everything. We were told to prepare for the worst as they assessed her (CT scans, MRI scans, x-rays, blood tests, you name it). And then came the diagnosis - hypercalcemia. Basically, calcium poisoning. Because mum's cancer spread to her bones, calcium has been leaching out into her blood and it was slowly poisioning her. It can be fatal, stopping the heart. And it causes all the symptoms she was having, including the severe depression which had descended. So they pumped her full of fluids (4 litres on the first night!) and lots of drugs.
Meanwhile, the family descended en masse and we took over the miserable Medical Admissions Unit where mum had ended up with all the overdoses, car accidents etc. Anyway, with all the treatment she staged a near-miraculous recovery and was in hospital for just short of a week. My dad had a minor op on his back so I switched being my mum's nurse to being my dad's, changing dressings etc. Nice.
On release BM went back to the hospice to recuperate but again took a turn for the worse. Endless blood transfusions and drips were hooked up but she was still very ill and the powers that be were running out of ideas. We managed to get her stable, just about, the family all went home and after a few days I had to make the tough decision to go home - work were making it very difficult for me and I wasn't being paid. I missed my boyfriend and was getting very tired and stressed. It felt selfish, but I had to go back for a few days at least. My dad sobbed at the airport, begged me not to go - bit of a nightmare to be honest.
Anyway, things were ok for a while and then mum got worse again and ended up back in hospital once more although not in so serious a state. Yet more tests and this time it was the calcium causing the problem. The docs were scratching their heads when they finally hit upon something I've been saying to them for months - mum's thyroid is underactive, just like mine. So, the changed the treatment again.
The consultant came over from Southampton to assess BM and told us that the cancer is continuing to spread, but slowly. He decided upon another form of chemo, pill-based and much less harsh than the last intravenous lot. Mum was uncertain as to whether to bother because she's tired and ill and fed up. But she wants to make a decent stab at sticking around for Baby Bundy so she's giving it a go.
She finally came home on Friday. Home Nursing delivered a new electric bed, and my dad converted a room downstairs. She's ok. For now, at least.
This has been the hardest time - not because of mum being so ill, or because of the time in hospital - but because, for the first time, she wasn't my mum. She couldn't talk, couldn't make any sense, acted like a child, needed feeding, changing, holding as she cried because she didn't understand what was happening. In all the serious times before, she's still be able to talk to us, still talked fighting talk and we lost that for a while. Thankfully it's back, for now, but it's shaken us all, and I found this latest episode the hardest to deal with this time. It's seen me finally bowing to the medical profession and allowing myself to be signed off sick for a couple of weeks because, in my GPs words, I'm 'knackered'. I finding it hard going and I've not quite got the chin back up yet. I even cried watching Emmerdale the other day - that's how bad it's got! I'm on constant alert to go out there, but I need to put in some time at work first (they're not impressed at my latest absence on grounds of 'nervous stress') so I've arranged for a variety of friends and relations to visit. And I'll be going out at Christmas, again expecting it to be our last together. Mum isn't expected to make it much past the New Year, but then we've heard all that before so who knows.
So that's where we are at the moment. Still in limbo, still battling the unknown, still straining against timescales we have no hope of guessing. It's hard going, but we keep going. In the immortal words of my darling younger brother, "it's a mother*****er this cancer business - literally". I know it's crass, but that made us all laugh (BM most of all).
Sorry this has been so long but a lot has happened and I know some of you want to know about it, so here it is.
Nov 8th 2005, 10:34 pm
#26
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,606
Re: BundyMum Update
Hi Bundy,
Thanks for taking the time for that update, it must have taken a lot to write that. I hope and pray that your dear Mum sees her first grandchild. I am very moved by your post and dont have much to say...I have had a shitty year and bloody hate cancer as friends of ours just tragically lost their beautiful 14 year old daughter. Your brother is right, you know. Thinking of you all.
Just thinking what a lovely bunch everyone on here is too, I just read all the replies and it is incredible that total strangers can be so supportive. You should show your Mum what they have all said!
Love,
Lucy
x
Thanks for taking the time for that update, it must have taken a lot to write that. I hope and pray that your dear Mum sees her first grandchild. I am very moved by your post and dont have much to say...I have had a shitty year and bloody hate cancer as friends of ours just tragically lost their beautiful 14 year old daughter. Your brother is right, you know. Thinking of you all.
Just thinking what a lovely bunch everyone on here is too, I just read all the replies and it is incredible that total strangers can be so supportive. You should show your Mum what they have all said!
Love,
Lucy
x
Nov 8th 2005, 11:55 pm
#27
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Sep 2004
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 386
Re: BundyMum Update
Hi Bundy
My thoughts and prayers are with your Mum and you and all the rest of your family. Thinking of you
Love and take care
Mel
My thoughts and prayers are with your Mum and you and all the rest of your family. Thinking of you
Love and take care
Mel
Nov 9th 2005, 2:50 am
#28
Dutch expat/Aus citizen
Joined: Apr 2003
Location: South East, Perth (was Holland)
Posts: 5,789
Re: BundyMum Update
Thanks for the update H
As usual don't know what to say....
How amazing that she keeps battling on, and hope she makes to her next target!!
And now, you look after yourself, dammit!!
Great to see a photo, don't think we've ever seen them before
'sterkte' (which means something like 'have strength'..though you do...!!)
thinking of you all, fingers crossed for Bundy baby target!
xx
Simone
As usual don't know what to say....
How amazing that she keeps battling on, and hope she makes to her next target!!
And now, you look after yourself, dammit!!
Great to see a photo, don't think we've ever seen them before
'sterkte' (which means something like 'have strength'..though you do...!!)
thinking of you all, fingers crossed for Bundy baby target!
xx
Simone
Nov 9th 2005, 9:32 am
#29
She's a bird, you know
Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2003
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 7,655
Re: BundyMum Update
Originally Posted by Simone
Thanks for the update H
As usual don't know what to say....
How amazing that she keeps battling on, and hope she makes to her next target!!
And now, you look after yourself, dammit!!
Great to see a photo, don't think we've ever seen them before
'sterkte' (which means something like 'have strength'..though you do...!!)
thinking of you all, fingers crossed for Bundy baby target!
xx
Simone
As usual don't know what to say....
How amazing that she keeps battling on, and hope she makes to her next target!!
And now, you look after yourself, dammit!!
Great to see a photo, don't think we've ever seen them before
'sterkte' (which means something like 'have strength'..though you do...!!)
thinking of you all, fingers crossed for Bundy baby target!
xx
Simone
)How's it going with you two?
Nov 9th 2005, 9:34 am
#30
She's a bird, you know
Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2003
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 7,655
Re: BundyMum Update
Originally Posted by lucyb
Hi Bundy,
Thanks for taking the time for that update, it must have taken a lot to write that. I hope and pray that your dear Mum sees her first grandchild. I am very moved by your post and dont have much to say...I have had a shitty year and bloody hate cancer as friends of ours just tragically lost their beautiful 14 year old daughter. Your brother is right, you know. Thinking of you all.
Just thinking what a lovely bunch everyone on here is too, I just read all the replies and it is incredible that total strangers can be so supportive. You should show your Mum what they have all said!
Love,
Lucy
x
Thanks for taking the time for that update, it must have taken a lot to write that. I hope and pray that your dear Mum sees her first grandchild. I am very moved by your post and dont have much to say...I have had a shitty year and bloody hate cancer as friends of ours just tragically lost their beautiful 14 year old daughter. Your brother is right, you know. Thinking of you all.
Just thinking what a lovely bunch everyone on here is too, I just read all the replies and it is incredible that total strangers can be so supportive. You should show your Mum what they have all said!
Love,
Lucy
x
Sorry to hear about your friends' daughter - at least my mum has lived a hectic and happy life.