scrawni

Our 10 year old lad is being bullied on the school bus and he is really upset about it and now says that he wants to go home.

We took along time to get him to come round to the idea of moving here and now i feel really angry that just as he was getting settled this happens.

He is upset and angry and wished we had never brought him here. He said that we told him that it would be better here and it's not. He cried his little heart out.

God, i feel really p****d off at the moment.

Mandy

anypan

sorry to hear about it, our boy was being bullied in school and we know how you feel. Hope you can sort it out, it may be just jealosy.

Phoenixuk2oz

Oh Mandy

Am sorry to hear about this cos I know how hard it is what with new country, new friends and all

Maybe you could visit the school and explain this to the head teacher and see if you get support there? In my boys school they have someone who's dedicated to the social wellbeing of the kids, do you have one at your sons school who you could talk to?

I hope things get better Mand. Please let us know. Good luck

marysidey

so sorry Mandy but try to keep your perspective My daughter was bullied in primary and secondary school here in the UK I know he thinks it is because he is in OZ but it can happen anywhere I would endorse the advice see the school see the kids see the parents if possible there is so much good work being done on bullying and harrassment in schools (and in the work place) that you should just enlist the help that is out there
If all else fails get a big dog and scare the ____ out of them !!
I really hope you sort things out good luck love Mary

scrawni

Thanks guys, the thing is he didn't tell me until Friday after school and it all came tumbling out. So, not alot i can do at the moment apart from reasure him.

He has never had to catch the bus to school in his life and i usually walked with him back in the uk (i worked in the next school).

On a positive note, we had planned for him to move school in January but --- he will still have to catch the bus, unless we move to a rental nearer that school.

He seems ok now but i will have a word with his teacher or the bus company, or both and see what i can do.

Kids can be so cruel.

Mandy

marysidey

Hope it works out OK Mandy have a really good weekend
Love mary

EssexNobby

Hi Mandy,

I don't have an answer I'm afraid but I wanted to say that I do feel for what you are going through.

I was also bullied at school (threatened with a flickknife at one point) and have managed to come through it okay although that obviosuly isn't really the answer.

I don't know if there is an answer, the problem has been with us for so many generations and will probably never entirely dissapear. You're right, kids can be unbelievably cruel, testing the boundaries I suppose.

The one thing I would suggest is to make sure that you keep a record of every incident that occurs - dates, times, etc. If the situation does escalate and you involve the school principal or even the police then at least you will appear to be deadly serious about the whole thing rather than just being angry with no hard evidence to back it up.

I wish you and your son all of the luck in world and hope that this problem dissapears and that your little boy can get on with his life without havign to worry about being bullied.

Dreamaway 10

Mandy I really feel for you and your family.
Its hard enough in the first place emotionally moving your children away from their friends and familiar environment never mind that he is being bullied.
He is bound to be feeling that he wants to go home.
Every bad day that you have in OZ will make you think about back home and make you wonder if you have done the right thing.
On a more positive note this could have happened in the Uk in any situation kids can be really cruel.
Try and find out why they are bullying him .
I remember being bullied by some girls at primary school and in the end those same girls became my friends and we all went through school together.
Its usaully down to jealousy in the end.
I may too be inexactly the same position next year and just hope that my son settles cos the guilt is awful.
Good Luck it will sort its self out in time.
Cheers.

jopaulss

Know how you feel mandy to, our daughter was bullied by a group of girls here last year, followed her to the loo every time she went actually they followed her everywhere really cruel hey. She confided in her brother and then went to the teacher, then we found out, she is so good at putting on a brave face, so we have discussed she can talk to us and i wouldnt dare do anything she didnt want me to. Luckily never encountered it in the UK, so it was pretty sad to have it here in our first year, not quite the dream we thought it was going to be.
They are all ok now, they where all warned and spoken to and they all apologised to her, she talks to them but thats as far it goes. I did ask her if she wanted to move schools, i know that doesnt solve it all but it felt right at the time, she said no way i have my friends here they arent going to bully me out, good on her, it broke my heart. The worst of it was these girls where her best friends, they just thought apperntly it would be a bit of fun
Good luck
Joanne

Lucyemma5

I really feel for you. I was bullied all though secondary school because I had a lazy eye, I cried every morning on the way to school and on the way home. My grades went down from A's to B's to C's and nobody asked what was wrong. I only told my Mum about my bullying about 6 months ago and she said that a lot of things fell into place. I thought for years that the bullies had ruined my life until only very recently when I met one of the gang of girls that had bullied me - what a shock, she looked like crap, greasy hair, overweight pulling around a couple of kids. I later found out that she had been divorced twice and had a kid with each of her husbands and lived off the social and she is only 33. What a laugh I had!!

Seriously though, have you thought about enrolling him in Karate or Judo lessons. Not only will he be able to defend himself with dignity, it will give him self esteem and confidence.

Lucy

Deadmeat

Hiya,

As someone that was bullied for years and tried the usual solutions that intelligent people attempt (ignoring, humouring, etc) I resorted to picking out the ringleader and given him a hiding.

It's a difficult thing to do when you are intimidated but these kids don't respond to reason, in my experience anyway. Hopefully as your son grows he will find the confidence to do the same.

I don't subscribe to the view that they have "attention deficit syndrome" or some such nonsense and therefore need "nurturing", they need a kicking.

The school needs to be told so that they can keep track of the bullies but ultimately I think Lucy's advice about the self-defence and more importantly improving self-esteem will be better than trying to ignore or reason with the bullies.

It's a very male view I know but one hard-won.

Good Luck,
Matt

Lucyemma5

Matt

Attention Deficit Disorder - Little Shit Disorder more like. If parents took a firm hand there would be a lot less bullying. My husband said that he was more scared of his father than he ever was of the Police. When he was in trouble he knew it. Not that his father whacked him, just the disgrace and disapointment on his face.

I bloody wish I had given my bullies a hiding. But I do think that it is a male thing. It is true that these bullies are cowards pretty formidable in a gang but weak and pathetic on their own. If you pick the ring leader and give him a kicking that he will remember, it works wonders.

Ignoring bullies makes no difference. I tried it, it means nothing, I was not very popular at school because I wasn't pretty. But now 15 years on when the pretty girls looks have faded which they always relied on, there is nothing else they can use, because they were actually pretty thick. The intelligent ones never bullied, there is more to them than that.

Lucy

Deadmeat

Can't argue with any of that Lucy - "pretty" depends on who's looking too and this is the sort of reasoning that only time and confidence will bring.

In my view (and I don't have any children so speak from complete ignorance) 10 years old is young enough to catch this horrible thing in the bud before it gets out of hand ... at least the kid is confident enough to tell someone rather than bottle it up and cause untold problems in the future.

madsad

Lucy, you obviously dont know anything about ADHD, so dont make stupid bloody comments like "little shit disorder" our son has ADHD, does this make him a little shit? my son is not & never has been a bully, he was born with ADHD.

Jesus, stupid comments like that make my blood boil.

madsad

I don't subscribe to the view that they have "attention deficit syndrome" or some such nonsense and therefore need "nurturing", they need a kicking.

Right my son has ADHD, he is not a bully, does that mean he gets a kicking?? do not make comment on a condition you know nothing about. Where did you read all ADHD kids are bullys? because to be frank that is total sh1t.