sue&bob

Hi,
We moved to Joondalup(perth) 5 months ago and was just wondering if anyone had the same problem,we have a 15year old son,(nearly 16) who is finding it hard to settle in,he has friends at school but he tells us that at weekends they all go to the beach or parties in the evening and get drunk,we dont agree with this,so he is stuck in,he tells us we are beeing to hard on him.He says he will go back when he is 18.Anyone else having these problems?If you are maybe drop us a line and maybe he could meet some friends who like to do normal things!!
sue&bob

dotty

We raised teens out here, the social life was parties and driving or riding around, or hanging out at the mall. That is what they do here. They dont all get drunk! like anywhere some kids will, most tho will make the right decisions. If you dont let him go to the parties, how will he ever fit in, thats the problem. Honestly they are not that bad, big parties but most kids are just hanging out not into the bad stuff. It would be very hard on a 15 year old to say Mum wont let me go. Tell him to invite his mates over, we often had a house full that way you get to know them, their not that scary, they grow up really quick here, part time jobs at 15, cars at 16, trust him let him out now and again, honestly its not that bad. All he wants to do is what Aussie kids his age are doing.

warwick road

He is already a late developer, most kids in England are necking the ale/e's/trips/fags/joints and shagging each other silly at about age 12 these days!

clivey

What about the teenage riots recently in Perth? They don't all get drunk, but a lot do! This is an aspect of life in W.A which makes me really sad.

dotty

Over here its parties of up to 800 kids and of course some cause trouble, but it is the minority. Thing is no matter where they grow up you cant lock them up. I am sure they would have just as much opportunity to drink/try drugs/have sex wherever they grew up, be it UK/OZ or wherever. Unfortunately coming face to face with those issues is part of being 16.

Once kids get to 16/17 here they get a car, how else do they get around? by that age you need to know you can trust them because you no longer have any control on where they go. If you dont let them have a social life prior to that, they may go pretty wild once they get wheels. The car thing was a bigger worry than the parties, I'm pretty sure most 17 year olds in UK have no need for a car. I'd be getting any kid of mine pretty clued up on reality long before the car came along.

jeannie

As Dotty said let him invite friends over..(and dont fuss). I bet you will be proud of him he knows whats right and whats wrong.good luck .

wombatboy

if u tell him he cant do something.....it will make him want to do it more.
Maybe drop him off at the beach....and arrange a time to pick him up ......its a alternative

arnie2oz

I think you have to follow your instincts to some extent; after all you know what he's like, but Dotty's right and we know it's tough letting go, but just make some ground rules. ie in by a certain time; must let you know exactly where he's going and who with. Get to know his friends and you'll soon see who the sensible ones are.

I think the driving thing is more of a worry - most boys think they could be Schumacher- but driving at 16 means they have to stay off the drink at 16!

Good luck!

A2O

ps Remember.....give teenagers jobs... while they still know it all!

Don

I think you are being a bit hard on him, what's wrong with a 15 yr old going to a party to get mildly pissed with his mates?

Give him a couple of bottles of 1litre cider, he won't keep much else down after that.

Natbat

I agree we have just been on a holiday with a 14 year old girl she was adament that she was going to drink alcohol so her parents agreed to let her have the odd glass of wine at the table and a bailys before dinner. Then she asked if we could go to the Cocktail bar at the end of the street!

The ploy was to let her choose what she wanted, and low and behold she picked a tequilla Sunrise (doh)! It of course was too strong and she didn't finish it so opted to have a Singapore Sling! This went down a little better but when it came time to leave, she was all over the place walking back to the hotel. The next morning she had a bit of a head ache but didn't admit this until we got to the top of the mountain, and at dinner that night and for the rest of the holiday she drank water.

Sorry fo the long story, but what I'm getting at is, let him drink (the worst drink of all - ie cider) so that he is possibly ill and then he will think twice about drinking again or at least in heavy quantaties

Good Luck

Don

I was a 'Young Farmer' in Bucks, we all used to drink a few pints of beer after meetings in the pub once we were 14 or so, couldn't afford more anyway, never did us too much harm (except for my incipient alcoholism and liver transplant of course).

Vegemite Kids

You could try doing what my parents did when we were teenagers.

We got given a certain number of "Party Credits" per year (sliding scale depending on age), and could use them as we wanted even over reservations/objections from Mum&Dad .

But cos we had so few (6 credits when 15, 8 credits when 16) we had to plan our party times (and which parties to choose) very carefully and if we used them all up in the first couple of months, then we were stuffed for the rest of the year and could only go to events / parties approved by Mum&Dad

Might be worth a shot and certainly will help build up responsibilty. Well it did for us !

S Oldfield

What about joing a footie club or something?

dave.t

I reckon you are being a bit overly protective towards him. Understandable, none of us want any harm to come to our kids but he's nearly 16, he's got to learn to be responsible for himself at some point.
My folks always gave me just 'enough' rope. They set guidlines and groundrules, they gave me trust. If I cocked up (which I obviously did!) then I was punished and then had to start all over again with the trust thing.
Give your son a break, let him go to meet his mates. How the hell is he supposed to settle and fit in if you won't let him?

Phoenixuk2oz

Here, here

Remember what you were like at that age?:scared:

Set some reasonable standards & let him go be a lad Watch him transform into a man with mates

He's going to have a few pukey do's ......but hey......that's called growing up!

Phoenixuk2oz