Anyone's kids upset at the thoughts of moving?
Feb 29th 2008, 1:45 am
#16
aka Mrs Stressalot
Joined: Sep 2007
Location: Hertfordshire
Posts: 605
Re: Anyone's kids upset at the thoughts of moving?
I have 2 girls, 10 & 4. The 4 year old is a little unsettled but isn't too bothered. Mostly looking forward to seeing a joey.
The 10 year old, on the other hand, isn't 100% happy with it all, especially since we have never even moved house.
We have told her, on no uncertain terms that it is tough, she is 10 years old and will do whatever we think is best. We have also said they will not be getting any animals (we are parting with our family dog in the next few weeks).
Sounds cold, but firstly, I think the more you give, the more they will push, and I feel guilty enough taking her away from everything she knows without screaming great tantrums whenever she is going through a 'don't want to go' stage (which we don't have, thankfully). Secondly, because it is my guilt, not hers. She doesn't need to feel bad for other people on top of feeling awful for herself.
No animals because I don't want to promise anything that I can't 100% provide. Maybe we will get a new dog, or a cat once we have settled, but she's not on a promise and so if it doesn't happen, she won't feel let down because that will rock her confidence in us.
We have been as honest as we can be with her, won't be rich, can't promise the world, will do our best. She won't be losing old friends, but meeting more, family will be over to see us, we have Skype, but most importantly, that we will be together and all having new experiences.
We have been mostly working on her confidence, teaching her how to get along with people and how to make new friends (she is a great person and she can carry that wherever she is) and trying to focus on the positives. It seems to be working out well, she has concerns, and discusses them, she cries when she thinks about leaving people, but accepts that is what is going to happen.
Doesn't help though when my sister said to her the other day 'nanny cries alot because she doesn't want you to go'
who is that helping?
Good Luck.
Jo.
The 10 year old, on the other hand, isn't 100% happy with it all, especially since we have never even moved house.
We have told her, on no uncertain terms that it is tough, she is 10 years old and will do whatever we think is best. We have also said they will not be getting any animals (we are parting with our family dog in the next few weeks).
Sounds cold, but firstly, I think the more you give, the more they will push, and I feel guilty enough taking her away from everything she knows without screaming great tantrums whenever she is going through a 'don't want to go' stage (which we don't have, thankfully). Secondly, because it is my guilt, not hers. She doesn't need to feel bad for other people on top of feeling awful for herself.
No animals because I don't want to promise anything that I can't 100% provide. Maybe we will get a new dog, or a cat once we have settled, but she's not on a promise and so if it doesn't happen, she won't feel let down because that will rock her confidence in us.
We have been as honest as we can be with her, won't be rich, can't promise the world, will do our best. She won't be losing old friends, but meeting more, family will be over to see us, we have Skype, but most importantly, that we will be together and all having new experiences.
We have been mostly working on her confidence, teaching her how to get along with people and how to make new friends (she is a great person and she can carry that wherever she is) and trying to focus on the positives. It seems to be working out well, she has concerns, and discusses them, she cries when she thinks about leaving people, but accepts that is what is going to happen.
Doesn't help though when my sister said to her the other day 'nanny cries alot because she doesn't want you to go'
who is that helping? Good Luck.
Jo.
Well I'm going to join in because I am in tears about the thought of dragging away my very happy 11 year old girl. It's hard. The guilt's horrid and we all feel like we are doing this for the better - but when the children don't feel the same, it makes you doubt everything.
I think the younger the child is, the quicker they settle. My daughter won't even talk about it. I wish we had the chance to do this when she was younger, as now she's established real bonds with her friends.
Good luck to everyone posting, I hope the kids cheer up soon!
Feb 29th 2008, 2:36 am
#17
Forum Regular
Joined: Jan 2008
Location: Teesside
Posts: 76
Re: Anyone's kids upset at the thoughts of moving?
Hi there,
I'm really worried about my 6 year old. We foolishly told our kids that we were moving to Oz when we applied (thinking we'd be there by now
) and she's been really upset the last few days since we've got our case officer. I think she finally knows something is happening.
Any advice, as she's really teary-eyed a lot of the time and listing out who's she's going to miss, etc. I've told her that everyone will be visiting, phone calls, etc but no consolation.
I've described the fabulous house we'll have
, she'll be with her cousins 
.....
Its really beginning to upset me now because I'm starting to lose my patience as nothing I say will cheer her up.
Help please
I'm really worried about my 6 year old. We foolishly told our kids that we were moving to Oz when we applied (thinking we'd be there by now
) and she's been really upset the last few days since we've got our case officer. I think she finally knows something is happening.Any advice, as she's really teary-eyed a lot of the time and listing out who's she's going to miss, etc. I've told her that everyone will be visiting, phone calls, etc but no consolation.
I've described the fabulous house we'll have
, she'll be with her cousins .....Its really beginning to upset me now because I'm starting to lose my patience as nothing I say will cheer her up.
Help please
Kids take all our time and energy, I bet one of the main reasons you want to move is so that your kids have a better life. It's that old fashioned expression cruel to be kind.........
Feb 29th 2008, 3:51 am
#19
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 8,067
Re: Anyone's kids upset at the thoughts of moving?
Im sorry but i will have to agree with northern bird.
she will be fine once she is there.
i was upset when mum and dad first moved us to portugal when i was 9 but i made great freinds, was outside all the time and was loving every minute of it. it wasnt very often i got homesick either.
she will be fine.
my 7 year old wont stop taliking about it and wants to make up an "Austraila folder"
maybe you could suggest that to her and sit with her on the internet and look for things to print off and put in the folder. she will come round to the idea and will start to really look forward to it.
i reccomend to start with Austraila Zoo in Brisbane (even if you are not going that way). The animals will be a great start, then move on to the beaches and then everything else. if she knows there will loads to do there, that she wont be able to do here - like swiming with dolphins (when she is older but dont tell her that) she will be dragging you onto that plane!
good luck
she will be fine once she is there.
i was upset when mum and dad first moved us to portugal when i was 9 but i made great freinds, was outside all the time and was loving every minute of it. it wasnt very often i got homesick either.
she will be fine.
my 7 year old wont stop taliking about it and wants to make up an "Austraila folder"
maybe you could suggest that to her and sit with her on the internet and look for things to print off and put in the folder. she will come round to the idea and will start to really look forward to it.
i reccomend to start with Austraila Zoo in Brisbane (even if you are not going that way). The animals will be a great start, then move on to the beaches and then everything else. if she knows there will loads to do there, that she wont be able to do here - like swiming with dolphins (when she is older but dont tell her that) she will be dragging you onto that plane!
good luck
Feb 29th 2008, 4:24 am
#20
Oh, George.....
Thread Starter
Joined: Dec 2007
Location: Melbourne!!!!
Posts: 1,048
Re: Anyone's kids upset at the thoughts of moving?
Thanks again to everyone. Already started drawing pictures of her on the beach with her new dog........
Feb 29th 2008, 5:31 am
#21
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jan 2007
Location: Leeds
Posts: 316
Re: Anyone's kids upset at the thoughts of moving?
Shame you can't influence the family members left behind with the same info.... our children (8,6+4) are looking forward to it... that is until they've spent an our or two with my sister and then they come back negative..... can't wait to get there and just get them settled 
Feb 29th 2008, 6:14 am
#22
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 527
Re: Anyone's kids upset at the thoughts of moving?
Hi,
I have four kids, aged 13, 11, 6 and 4, the two little ones are fine about it as I don't think they really understand the enormity of it all, the eldest is also fine and really looking forward to it but the 11 yr old says he is not going at all. Um think he may get a bit of a shock cos he is going if we get in.
We don't hide anything from any of them but we also don't rub his face in it. I understand it is hard for him but he also has trouble at school with 2 kids and we are trying to remind him that this move will keep him away from them for good.
Good luck to all the lets hope the kids come round in the end, at least we have months to work on them lolol.
Kind regards Lou xx
I have four kids, aged 13, 11, 6 and 4, the two little ones are fine about it as I don't think they really understand the enormity of it all, the eldest is also fine and really looking forward to it but the 11 yr old says he is not going at all. Um think he may get a bit of a shock cos he is going if we get in.
We don't hide anything from any of them but we also don't rub his face in it. I understand it is hard for him but he also has trouble at school with 2 kids and we are trying to remind him that this move will keep him away from them for good.
Good luck to all the lets hope the kids come round in the end, at least we have months to work on them lolol.
Kind regards Lou xx
Feb 29th 2008, 7:26 am
#23
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jul 2007
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 687
Re: Anyone's kids upset at the thoughts of moving?
I've been in the same scenario as you. My daughter turns 9 in May and we originally told her about our move over a year ago. she was devestated, and at one point I questioned if we are doing the right thing.
The fact of the matter is, we're moving to Australia in the hope of a better life for our children, and they will probably settle quicker than we will!
On a positive note, Ella started a scrap book about Oz, and did little projects about Kangaroos etc and she actually started to get excited about it.
You can also register with Australia Zoo, and they send monthly newsletters via email.
We still have our moments, and it is going to be really tough when the time comes, but you've got to remain strong.
Laura
x
The fact of the matter is, we're moving to Australia in the hope of a better life for our children, and they will probably settle quicker than we will!
On a positive note, Ella started a scrap book about Oz, and did little projects about Kangaroos etc and she actually started to get excited about it.
You can also register with Australia Zoo, and they send monthly newsletters via email.
We still have our moments, and it is going to be really tough when the time comes, but you've got to remain strong.
Laura
x
Feb 29th 2008, 9:50 am
#24
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Feb 2008
Location: Spain/Wales
Posts: 313
Re: Anyone's kids upset at the thoughts of moving?
When we moved we decided to give the school some gifts that they would remember the kids by. We went down the charitable route and the kids, were all in hysterics as to whether to buy a goat, a llama, a toilet, 200 school dinners, etc. etc. Eventually they agreed on who was giving what, they painted huge posters of their presents and got to give them to their class teachers during assembly. They thought it was all really funny, even the grumpy one and it gave them something to focus on. I made a big deal about it being secret service and not to tell anyone beforehand which added to the fun.
Another thing to encourage initially is emails and messenger home to friends, this might be more intense at the beginning but don't worry as it will gradually run it's course. Your child will need them less and less as the months go on and make new friends.
Another thing to encourage initially is emails and messenger home to friends, this might be more intense at the beginning but don't worry as it will gradually run it's course. Your child will need them less and less as the months go on and make new friends.
Feb 29th 2008, 7:33 pm
#25
Forum Regular
Joined: Jul 2004
Location: Labrador, Gold Coast
Posts: 262
Re: Anyone's kids upset at the thoughts of moving?
Hi everyone
Our son is 16 and seems to change his mind with the wind!!!
One day he doesn't want to go at all and the next he is looking forward to it!!! I don't think it helps that he has only been with his girlfriend for a month and she is probably saying she doesn't want him to go!!
He knows he is going and so do all his friends. Most of his friends are wildly jealous and would love to come instead of Andrew!!!
Once he gets there and makes new friends at school, we think he will be fine - probably within about a week!!!
I do feel guilty for him leaving his friends but we are leaving friends and family too!!!
Our son is 16 and seems to change his mind with the wind!!!
One day he doesn't want to go at all and the next he is looking forward to it!!! I don't think it helps that he has only been with his girlfriend for a month and she is probably saying she doesn't want him to go!!
He knows he is going and so do all his friends. Most of his friends are wildly jealous and would love to come instead of Andrew!!!
Once he gets there and makes new friends at school, we think he will be fine - probably within about a week!!!
I do feel guilty for him leaving his friends but we are leaving friends and family too!!!
Mar 1st 2008, 5:19 am
#26
Forum Regular
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 79
Re: Anyone's kids upset at the thoughts of moving?
I've been in the same scenario as you. My daughter turns 9 in May and we originally told her about our move over a year ago. she was devestated, and at one point I questioned if we are doing the right thing.
The fact of the matter is, we're moving to Australia in the hope of a better life for our children, and they will probably settle quicker than we will!
On a positive note, Ella started a scrap book about Oz, and did little projects about Kangaroos etc and she actually started to get excited about it.
You can also register with Australia Zoo, and they send monthly newsletters via email.
We still have our moments, and it is going to be really tough when the time comes, but you've got to remain strong.
Laura
x
The fact of the matter is, we're moving to Australia in the hope of a better life for our children, and they will probably settle quicker than we will!
On a positive note, Ella started a scrap book about Oz, and did little projects about Kangaroos etc and she actually started to get excited about it.
You can also register with Australia Zoo, and they send monthly newsletters via email.
We still have our moments, and it is going to be really tough when the time comes, but you've got to remain strong.
Laura
x
Wondered if your little girl would like to PM mine. She is also 9 and emigrating to Oz sometime in May/June. She changes her mind frequently about the move. We are not that far from you guys just down the M6 in Morecambe. Good Luck with the move.
Mar 1st 2008, 9:48 am
#27
Gutter Gob!!
Joined: Feb 2005
Location: Perth
Posts: 13,098
Re: Anyone's kids upset at the thoughts of moving?
My daughter is 10 and if you have MSN she would be happy to chat. My husband and I are originally from Carnforth so if you fancy a chat PM me, we are in Perth.
Mar 6th 2008, 2:35 am
#28
Forum Regular
Joined: Jan 2008
Location: Dorset, UK
Posts: 178
Re: Anyone's kids upset at the thoughts of moving?
My son (9yrs old) was really excited about moving to Adelaide when I showed him photos of the houses with nice gardens and swimming pools, the beaches, parks etc. He has always wanted a dog but in the UK we'v said no as OH gets bad allergy from the hair and in the UK cats and dogs are mostly inside. But I promised Jonathan that we can get a "German Shepard" when we move to Aus. So with the prospect of having a lovely size bedroom, a seperate tv lounge with Play station etc and his own swimming pool - he was a happy smiley little chap!
Yesterday I received a package from Adelaide with a DVD, brochures, maps etc (is lovely - made me even more excited). Anyway when Jonathan got home from school I showed him and asked if he wants to see the DVD about Adelaide and I said it him "It looks even more Awesome than on the internet". I don't know why but he thought his Granma (Daves mum) was going with us for some reason - when he found out that she isn't coming with he was such a sad little boy the rest of the afternoon and evening and very teary.
But there are always aeroplanes, holidays, telephones, internet etc. I would not cancel our plans purely for the sake of family and Dave & I both agree to that. Daves brother and the wife live not even 10min walk from our house. The last time we saw them was about October. They are so up themselves and live their own lives that it would'nt make any difference if we moved to Aus or stayed just around the corner. We will definitly miss Daves mum terribly - but at the same time she has her own life with her partner and we can't stop our lives to suit every other Tom, Dick & Harry.
I have moved abroad before from South Africa to UK. I was born in UK - but sick of the climate and millions of Asylum seekers.
Children adjust - so stop worrying!
Yesterday I received a package from Adelaide with a DVD, brochures, maps etc (is lovely - made me even more excited). Anyway when Jonathan got home from school I showed him and asked if he wants to see the DVD about Adelaide and I said it him "It looks even more Awesome than on the internet". I don't know why but he thought his Granma (Daves mum) was going with us for some reason - when he found out that she isn't coming with he was such a sad little boy the rest of the afternoon and evening and very teary.
But there are always aeroplanes, holidays, telephones, internet etc. I would not cancel our plans purely for the sake of family and Dave & I both agree to that. Daves brother and the wife live not even 10min walk from our house. The last time we saw them was about October. They are so up themselves and live their own lives that it would'nt make any difference if we moved to Aus or stayed just around the corner. We will definitly miss Daves mum terribly - but at the same time she has her own life with her partner and we can't stop our lives to suit every other Tom, Dick & Harry.
I have moved abroad before from South Africa to UK. I was born in UK - but sick of the climate and millions of Asylum seekers.
Children adjust - so stop worrying!
Last edited by Devonfamily; Mar 6th 2008 at 2:39 am.
Mar 6th 2008, 9:23 am
#29
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jan 2008
Location: melbourne
Posts: 371
Re: Anyone's kids upset at the thoughts of moving?
My son (9yrs old) was really excited about moving to Adelaide when I showed him photos of the houses with nice gardens and swimming pools, the beaches, parks etc. He has always wanted a dog but in the UK we'v said no as OH gets bad allergy from the hair and in the UK cats and dogs are mostly inside. But I promised Jonathan that we can get a "German Shepard" when we move to Aus. So with the prospect of having a lovely size bedroom, a seperate tv lounge with Play station etc and his own swimming pool - he was a happy smiley little chap!
Yesterday I received a package from Adelaide with a DVD, brochures, maps etc (is lovely - made me even more excited). Anyway when Jonathan got home from school I showed him and asked if he wants to see the DVD about Adelaide and I said it him "It looks even more Awesome than on the internet". I don't know why but he thought his Granma (Daves mum) was going with us for some reason - when he found out that she isn't coming with he was such a sad little boy the rest of the afternoon and evening and very teary.
But there are always aeroplanes, holidays, telephones, internet etc. I would not cancel our plans purely for the sake of family and Dave & I both agree to that. Daves brother and the wife live not even 10min walk from our house. The last time we saw them was about October. They are so up themselves and live their own lives that it would'nt make any difference if we moved to Aus or stayed just around the corner. We will definitly miss Daves mum terribly - but at the same time she has her own life with her partner and we can't stop our lives to suit every other Tom, Dick & Harry.
I have moved abroad before from South Africa to UK. I was born in UK - but sick of the climate and millions of Asylum seekers.
Children adjust - so stop worrying!
Yesterday I received a package from Adelaide with a DVD, brochures, maps etc (is lovely - made me even more excited). Anyway when Jonathan got home from school I showed him and asked if he wants to see the DVD about Adelaide and I said it him "It looks even more Awesome than on the internet". I don't know why but he thought his Granma (Daves mum) was going with us for some reason - when he found out that she isn't coming with he was such a sad little boy the rest of the afternoon and evening and very teary.
But there are always aeroplanes, holidays, telephones, internet etc. I would not cancel our plans purely for the sake of family and Dave & I both agree to that. Daves brother and the wife live not even 10min walk from our house. The last time we saw them was about October. They are so up themselves and live their own lives that it would'nt make any difference if we moved to Aus or stayed just around the corner. We will definitly miss Daves mum terribly - but at the same time she has her own life with her partner and we can't stop our lives to suit every other Tom, Dick & Harry.
I have moved abroad before from South Africa to UK. I was born in UK - but sick of the climate and millions of Asylum seekers.
Children adjust - so stop worrying!
Also, with flying, I love aeroplanes and had to fly a lot to SA and Oz from Scotland with my babies/toddlers/youngsters and it was a breeze because they picked up on my excitement.
My sister's the opposite, she hates flying and so do her children!
Good luck to whoever is in this situation
Mar 6th 2008, 11:56 pm
#30
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 527
Re: Anyone's kids upset at the thoughts of moving?
Hey,
I hate flying but because of my kids, I am now a lot calmer than before as you have to be calm for them or as you say they pick up on it. Then the whole experience becomes a nightmare.
I think that my 11 yr old is finally coming round to the idea but we don't want to push it with him. We also discuss it in front of him as whether he likes it or not if we get the visa he will be coming with us. Unfortunately for him, it will be better in the long run than staying here.
Good luck and best wishes to all.
Lou
I hate flying but because of my kids, I am now a lot calmer than before as you have to be calm for them or as you say they pick up on it. Then the whole experience becomes a nightmare.
I think that my 11 yr old is finally coming round to the idea but we don't want to push it with him. We also discuss it in front of him as whether he likes it or not if we get the visa he will be coming with us. Unfortunately for him, it will be better in the long run than staying here.
Good luck and best wishes to all.
Lou
