NickyP

We moved to NE Victoria in September and have settled well here. It is a lovely area of the world and the schools for the kids are excellent. The only real problem that we have had from the start was our 17 year old son. He had a great life in Brussels before we left and left his girlfriend there so the move has been hard on him. This is made far worse by the fact that where we live is very much a country place with Melboure several hours away and no real public transport. People here have lived here all of their lives and can trace back several generations and it is a far cry from life in Brussels.
He is up and down but his main problems seem to come from not having anything in common with the kids here, he is not sporty (a major problem here) and doesn't cope well with bitching and two-facedness which is a particular problem with the kids his age here.
Has anyone else made this sort of move with teenagers? I think that it would do him the world of good to speak to other people who have been through this culture shock and come out the other end. The other kids have settled fine and there is no possibility of us relocating nearer to a city as Ian's work is here.
Nicky

Hels

Hi Nicky,

PM Kevhaze as they moved here to Bendigo and have a 16yo daughter and 13yo son.

They both seem to have settled pretty well and might be able to help? I know Bendigo is quite a bit bigger than Wang, but you never know.

Hels

NickyP

Thanks will try that. Bendigo would have almost certainly been a better move but we don't have that option at the moment. Being here is very similar to being in a small village in the UK people have been here all of their lives and think that travel to Queensland is the height of adventure. Everyone else has settled pretty well it has just hit Sam the hardest and it is starting to affect his schoolwork etc which is a worry.
Nicky

Hels

Yeah, I can definatly understand your concerns. If you are not used to living in a 'Country' town, its a difficult adjustment for some. Especially teenagers as it does seem that there is little for them to do. Moving to a town like Wang, especially at 17 would be difficult as the kids have already formed alot of their friendships from babies and know each other really well. It is hard to break into that.

I hope Kev & Hazel might be able to offer some advice once you have PM'd them. Their daughter gets on MSN quite often so perhaps she could chat with your son? She has put herself back into school here and is doing REALLY well. She even has a boyfriend and a circle of friends. They arrived here at the start of December last year.

If I can think of anything else that might help, I will definatly let you know.

Hels

NickyP

Thanks for that I have PM'd them and Sam is always on MSN if he has his way so I am sure that he would like to chat.
His problem is that the people here have a very narrow view of the world and he finds that hard after being in an international school for 3 years. Plus there is very little to do, if he is out at night with any friends they are always stopped by the police and told to go home and that is getting on his nerves a bit as well .
He left the girlfriend in Belgium which of course doesn't help he also wanted to stay in the UK with his Dad but his Dad backed out so I suppose he is feeling a bit trapped at the moment. He is being pretty good about it but he is obviously unhappy.
Nicky

sasbear

My son - now 18 - almost 19. We have been here for almost 18 months. And although we aren't really rural - we may just as well be. He could PM my son - who is Turtletom. They may be have a moan together - at least he wouldn't feel so isolated. And tom is just starting to find some good things about here.

Keep your chin up

turtletom

Yep your son is the same as me! I thought i was the only 1 who felt like that.

kevinbloomfield

Hey, if you are nearly 19 why don't you save up some money and move back to Sheffield? or maybe buy a backpack and do some travelling.

Life is what you make it, you are an adult now and there is a big world out there

turtletom

Yeah don't you think i know it. Thats why i am out here to secure my future! Otherwise i would be on the 1st flight back? Have you ever been out to Australia?

kevinbloomfield

Yep, we were out in November. Personally I would never move to the country, as a teenager I hated living in a village and I would never put my 16 year old son in the same situation. When we move over we will be living on the Sunshine Coast (Mountain Creek), if it is too quiet for my son, he can move to Brisbane.

turtletom

well in just over a year then i will be a tradesman and living back in Sheffield.

moneypenny20

Or living in Sydney

Kevin, be very very grateful you do not "have" to live in a certain place It must be hard if you do.

NickyP

Given the choice we would have been living somewhere else I am sure however, my husband has been sponsored over here with work and we don't have the luxury of that choice. As my husband's skills are not readily transferable we cannot just move and then look for work so Sam has to cope with what life deals him at the moment.
If we had the finances available then I would let him live back in the UK or Belgium or where ever else he could settle but we don't and with 3 other children to think about it makes that unlikely to happen in the future.
He is a bright lad and if he can get through this next 18 months or so then he knows that he will have a get out when he goes to Uni but it is very hard for him at the moment.
I suppose it is a life skill that he will learn and at least he doesn't hate it enough not to want to hang around to get citizenship sorted so that he always has the choice of living here later should he change his mind (Australia that is I doubt very much that he would EVER live in Wangaratta ).
Tom, Sam will PM you so that you can moan about the place together sometimes it helps to be able to sound off at someone who feels the same even if you can't physically do anything about it.
One difficulty for us (and I am sure for Tom) was that it is hard to realise sometimes just how 'country' a place can be when it is technically a city or in Tom's case very close to the capital. Here there is such a clique as most people have lived in the immediate area for generations and it is harder for men than for women to break in. I know a guy from Cairns and he wasn't surprised that Sam was having problems as he had much the same since moving here (so it isn't just us POMs).
The other kids have settled immediately and I am geting there, Ian loves his job so apart from Sam's difficulties this has been an excellent move for us.
Nicky

turtletom

Ok good get Sam to pm me becuase i feel the exact same way and just let him know that i have done since i first got here which was in September 2004 when i was 17.

Tom

kevinbloomfield

Hey, unless I was in prison I don't see how I would be forced to live anywhere , all I know is I wouldn't live in a village or outback Australia (especially with our teenage son)

You are right though, if someone is somehow forced to live somewhere, it would be very hard